₦airaland Forum

IZUKWU: you mean before i kiss my babe,i should clean her lips first. It doesn't sound romantic at all. I just kiss her with the lipsstick ,i can clean off the smear later.

Yeah! I totally agree with you on that.

carefreewannabe: Let me answer the question with an account of a personal experience.
On of my ex boyfriends cheated on me with another girl. This girl knew I was the girlfriend. As time went by and he didn't split up with me, she decided to let me know in the hope I would break up and leave the man to her. I did so, telling her that she can have him. It was painful but it was the best option for me because I didn't want to waste my time with a liar and cheater. As time went by, I got to know that the guy was cheating on her. More, he kept calling me saying how he still loved me and that he never loved her etc. I didn't accept him back. He hurt me too much. However, I wasn't angry with her. She didn't owe me anything, nor did she promised me anything unlike him who promise to treat me well and be faithful. So, concerning our relationship, it was his fault. Even if i did anything wrong, which he said I didn't, the solution wouldn't be to cheat but to talk things over like adults or if not possible split up and move on. So, it was his fault.
As for the relationship of him and her, it's her fault. She is responsible for having her heart broke. She knew exactly what she was getting into when he was cheating on me with her. She was arrogant enough to believe she was better than me and that he wouldn't do it to her. Her arrogance led to her fall.

This is the bitter truth alot of gurlz shy away from... They know they have a hand in their predicament, yet they point accusing fingers at men... Its gross

carefreewannabe: I think you're right the ladies DO play a part in it.
It's the same with polygamy, most of them don't want a polygamous marriage but many of them agree to becoming a second wife.
Same goes for cheating.
As long as women don't acknowledge the fact that the DO play an active part but prefer to pretend to be victims, the will remain victims.

Thanks for such honest and sincere contribution... You are a realist.

[quote author=Mynd_44]Stop this a lot of people do this or that. This is your thread, you started it. What do you think?
Ko do you know what a lot of people think? Are you physic?[/quote]The fact is that in as much as I dont support cheating I still think the ladies have a huge part to play. Is this difficult to understand? Now, people'e ideas will tell otherwise. I want to learn and thats why I want to know what other people think as regards the issue. And for your question; I dont know what people think at all times but I rather take a shot in the dark, if you know what I mean. And I guess you meant to ask if I were to be a psychic in your second question, the answer is nope!

sunky644: Are u advertising yourself?

Nope! Does it seem to you like I was advertising myself... The fact that I stated that I was single and stuffs doesnt mean I was doing an advert. Infact! If you should check on some of my other post you will realise that I always state it that I am not ready to be in any relationship with any gurl cos most of them are full of crap. Not all of them though.... So, I just used myself in elucidating my point. Capiche?

[quote author=Mynd_44]How about men who are hooked up, stop asking other women out?[/quote]I asked this because alot of people attribute cheating to the nature of man and I decided to point out the fact that women are guilty as much as men cos a lot of them are the instigators to this....

There is one complain a lot of women give about men being unfaithful and all that... But the question that emanated from my head while I was ruminating on this issue is; most women that get hooked with this so-called men that cheat, don't they know that these men are already hooked up? Or why even complain about it when you know in the first place that when you believe a lot of men are dogs (Like someone said). The startling thing about this is that, most of them do and even when they know, they yet want to have the man still. The question now is.... Who is the villain?

I know definitely that some women go into whatever with a man without such knowledge but, for the most part, a whole lot of them women know. Infact! Even friends do it to their fellow friends and all that crap. With this, one question you might want to ask is; who is really responsible for men's cheating nature?

Are the women to blame or the men are to blame

I am not in support of men cheating and will never be in support of it either but just want to know cos this is something that has come to the fore...

manugbo: i cannot say that all men cheat because i unfortunately landed into the hand of a man that doesnt appreciate what he has. WHO DOESNT VALUE MY potentials

i had once met a guy who doesnt cheat, but because he was very younger than i was, i just decided to quit him. SINCERELY,regret today for quiting that relationship. He made me feel like a queen. GOD HELP WOMEN!.

SOMETIMES, ITS NOT EVEN ABOUT CHEATING, RATHER THE ATTITUDE THEY PUT UP IN THE BID TO DEFEND THEMSELVES IS WHAT IRRITATES ME MOST.

SINCERELY, I WILL JUST FEEL LIKE KILLING SOMEBODY.
SOME WILL START BEATING UP THEIR WIFES, SOME WILL NOT EVEN TALK TO YOU FOR 2 WEEKS,A MONTH, WILL NOT EAT YOUR FOOD AND ALSO KEEP LATE NIGHT DURING THOSE DAYS


ALAH! WOMEN DEY SUFFER OOO!

Ehya... You no talk lie sist... Sometimes I pity women. The good ones sha ooooo.

naijathings: you fit start with your mama as she go dey easy to handle as per old woman wey she be. no forget to use pillow cover her ugly face sha

You dey in a better position to sleep with your momma since you cant control your f**king manhood....

Shugamania: pardon the generalisation, but u'll agree with me that finding a faithful man in today's society is more difficult than the proverbial needle in the haystack. And when u do, u get all sort of asinine comments like you oughta start worshipping the guy or something cos he chose to do what's right for him and everyone. Some men just cant do without it. Explain to me how cheating makes a man feel insured please.
And no, i dont agree with you that girls want faithful men but need unfaithful men. Wat do we need them for? The hurt and pain that comes with the knowledge of betrayal? Or the feeling of incompetence that makes one wonder why you werent enough for him?

Some men feel when they cheat, they stand a chance of not getting daunted by the unpredictable actions of some ladies.. So, in order to avoid hurt, they have alot of gurls for themselves which makes them have this kinda insurance that they are safe irrespective of what one of them gurlz would do.. The issue of gurlz cherishing bad guyz more cannot be over-emphasized. The fact remains that gurlz crave for good guyz (as everyone of them claim) but Lo and Behold! Whenever most of them find this so-called good guy, they become the villain. Sometimes it gets me wondering why... You have exactly what you crave for and at the end of the line, you tend to pay the person with some other person's coin... Do you get my point? They don't necessarily appreciate the good guyz when they finally have one . Its not about worshiping the guy and stuffs, its about recognizing what you have and doing whats necessary to keep him that way knowing fully well that such are scarce these days.. Well, on the part of explaining why guys cheat, I could never know the reason for sure as I have never tried it myself and don't even intend trying it. I am giving this explanation based on people's experiences. And just so you know, you gurlz love the bad guyz more than the good guyz, whether you accept it or not, thats the way it is and personally I dont know why its so. A gurl doesnt appreciate fully a guy thats so honest and all, you always want guyz to tell you what they are not and stuffs like that. Besides, when a good guy tells you his real situation, how many will appreciate his sincerity and cherish him that way? Rather you will want to settle for the one that has given all the lies in this world and at the end of the day, heart-break hits the door. There and then, all men becomes the same... Gurlz love that line so much that its almost on every gurl's lips..

I wanna ask you.... Where have you been looking at? I mean when it comes to guyz because I myself personally and some few friends are among the few that are still standing and I believe there are others out there.. Let me ask you; do you trust your man to be the faithful type? Just be sincere please...

naijathings: i don tell you finish.

Ehen... Maybe you go need to help me with your sister (Thats if you have) so that she go fit help my body since you say no be firewood. Abi wetin you think? Lolz

berylLOL: but why would people feel it's normal to cheat? Why would you go into a relationship just to hurt the person?..cheating is wrong and what is wrong is wrong!..

Imagine someone calling something thats wrong normal? Since when has the wrong thing become normal? I dont even know whats with alot of guyz

naijathings: try not to learn it the hard way my brother. this body no be firewood and it is very easy to blame the devil when the deed is done.

Try not to learn what the hard way? Body no be firewood mean say body no go fit dey without sex again? Blame the devil for what?

naijathings: [size=18pt]NEVER[/size] and here goes a slap to whoever thought up that stupid idea.. ah ah how i no go test run my wife to be?
if you ae not doing it then someone is servicing her for you. then she invite the person to your weddding and the person invites his friends and they all come to eat your cake and rice and wine and laugh at you who thinks sh has been "faithful".. it is better to be safe than to be sorry.

Why do people get too obsessed with this perception that if a guy is not having sex with a gurl then someone is doing so. In as much as I know that its like that in some cases, but definitely not in all cases. There are gurlz that are real with their decision whatsoever to keep themselves till marriage.. Just so you know.

Shugamania: Why do men cheat? Why does our society make it seem like it's okay for a man to cheat?? Why do our mothers tell us to turn a blind eye even when all evidences tell the story, and our friends tell us it's just their nature??
Why, when u finally find one that doesnt cheat, does everyone think he's doing the girl a favour? And why do we, the women act all meek and gentle and let them get away with it in the name of love and endurance?
My cousin's gf caught him in the act and he had the guts to tell her during the ensuing argument that he has every right to cheat cos he needs to get as many different girls as he can and compare them before he finally choses the best one to settle down with. I tried talking to him after his girlfriend left and he said ''if i wan buy garri for market sef, i no go taste different ones before i chose the one wey i go buy?'' I was so pissed... I ranted and raved and he just ignored me. I dont blame him sha, i blame the sexist society we live in...in fact i dey vex!
Men, i need clarifications please, is it that you just find it impossible not to cheat or you enjoy hurting your partners?

Well... It is very common today and its almost taken as a norm even in the society. Anywayz, there are variant reasons why most men cheat; some do it cos they want to be insured, some others cos their gurl friend's attitude or whatever prompted them to, some others cheat to have varieties, some do it just for the fun of it and nothing more, some do it cos of the pride in it (feeling that having many gurls will make em look like a champ) and a host of other reasons.. Infact! there are endless reasons why most men cheat. But, you failed to do something, and that is to point out that WHY DO MOST MEN CHEAT and not all men in general. Well, one other thing with this cheating of a thing is the fact that when the infinitesimally few of us that are still keeping our policy intact to be ALL-FAITHFUL, gurlz don't appreciate them for real. You will agree with me that most gurlz want faithful and good men (As they claim) but actually need the unfaithful or bad guyz. Its so weird why its so. The number of unfaithful men out there today has made[b]VIRTUALLY[/b] all women blind to see the few that are good. No matter what, there are still good men out there. This is something I am very sure of. I am one and I have never cheated in my life. Although I am single, but I chose to be single since the ladies are taking the toll on men these days and its something I detest that was why I opted out in my last relationship. So, there are still people like me out there and people better than myself even if every man today looks seemingly bad in the eyes of the ladies..

fados4sure: She thought me how to kiss and now, we are no longer together and i can't stay without kissing. What should i do

Plain and Simple! You said you can't stay without kissing, which means you have been kissing all these while. If that is the case, why complain? Continue kissing the thing or person you have been kissing all these while...

aurora: Hi Nairalanders! Need some candid advice. I‘ve been dating this guy for 2 years though we‘ve lived in different cities in the last one year. He invited me to visit him and I did.

While there last weekend he told me his mum was coming to visit and asked me to give him some space which I did. I‘m not prone to suspicion but I thought it would be an opportunity to meet her and seeing that his sister is married and stays in the same city, I wondered why his “mum“ would chose to stay at his place, so before leaving I set up an app on my phone to record whatever was going on in my absence. When I returned later, I found out that his “mum“ was actually another girl. Right now I‘m thinking of confronting him about his lie or just walking away and never looking back. What do I do?

You already know the answer to your question, why ask? Since you said you placed a surveillance on him which was intended to eavesdrop on him, what you should consider first now is; what was the content of their discussion? Or if they did some action, what was it? Secondly, even if the lady in question were to be a Rev Sister, and your guy's intentions were clean, it means there is something wrong somewhere for lying to you. Anywayz, from my calculations, it can be deduced that he is cheating on you and what you will have to do is confront him with it and let him confess to you what went on before letting him know you had a surveillance on him.. Whatever the outcome is, you will know what next to do; whether to go ahead with him or to want-out.... Act accordingly.

stpat1: My fiancee snubs for hours and sometimes for days after a disagreement. It take a lot of talking and coercing from me to bring her out of that mood. Even if the problem is from her, it will take while before she realises it and apologise.

Is this normal? Or am I too blind to see something? Will it be unreasonable to call off a wedding which is in 4 months time? I love her and have known her for 8 years now but its a habit I've always detested.

I really don't know the action to take now. Please your adulterated candid opinion is wanted. Pour it out and tell me what you'd do if you were in my shoes. Lash me I won't get mad at you. Lol

I need to take a decision is the 4 hours before this chick drives me crazy. I'll rather painfully let her go now that regret it in years to come.

Brah... Its bizarre that you have dated this gurl for 8 years and didn't come to this until now. Is it that you haven't been telling her or its that she is just too adamant to conform with it? Whatever it is, I would propose you call her and have a thorough discussion with her as regards this issue and how much pains you feel whenever she acts so. That is if you have not done this before, but if you have done this before now and she proves adamant, well... I think you are in a better position to decide what to do. One thing I always say to people is that, in marriage, you have to appreciate your partner's virtues and convince yourself through and through that you can live with the person's short-comings for the rest of your life. If, after doing the math, the virtues of the person is out-weighed by the person's vices, or rather you feel you can't really tolerate the person's vices for the rest of your life, then what I encourage is backing-out.. So, the choice is yours for the making. Choose wisely..

I wish you all the best.

ballabriggs: Single and proud. I laugh like Baba Iyabo

Dey there now, na you go loose. That 'Sister' wey you go finally marry, boys go done help you sample am well well before e reach your hand.

Wetin I get to loose bruv... Even as you dey sample gurls every now and then, where the certificate wey dem don give you put? See! its just about one's personality thats all. I aint that kinda person.

ifeness: No i don't do religion,but in-tuned with nature. The facts are very obvious. The earth is called mother because it is feminine,isn't it? Mother mean eternity,wisdom and knowledge. The war in Liberia was stopped as a result of women bringing both sides to the dialogue table. That is why a woman became the president of the country. Women are naturally caring,hence they form a balanced society.

The term human right was derived from the ancient society governed by women. There can never be a God without a Goddess.

Hmm... I would love you to regale me more. The topic is not against women's worth or contribution to the society just so you know.. We are talking about knowing the fact that you have a deficiency and you know it and you feel less concern in doing something positively about it. On the part of your kinky lecture about women bringing about human right or talking about no god without a goddess, I think on that note you are trying to digress from the original idea of this topic. Anywayz, let me regale you with some interesting facts; you talked about the impossibility of a god not being without a goddess, the name goddess was taken from a god which is masculine right? the name female was taken from male, woman from man, she from he, mrs from mr, madam from adam etc... I can keep listing alot of areas where women integrate men's attributes but lets not digress too far. Lol. Well, like I said earlier on, the purpose of this thread is not to undermine the importance of women, nope! its just to talk about doing something in making themselves better individuals..

candygosh: Not every lady knows she's got a problem. Its d duty of d patrner to point out these flaws. And if she doesn't want to work on them, dats entirely her fault.
But the men just whinning and nagging abt d flaws without tryn to bring this to her notice is very wrong. And very wrong to assume most of the ladies are api about their flaws

.

One other thing you need to know is that, you would agree with me that a good number of ladies react negatively when being corrected. This is where I detest most of them. Matter of fact, I dont care if you are the worst gurl in this entire world, all I care about is for you to have an open heart and be ready to learn and accept corrections. I know for sure that I would lead a gurl to the right part if she would let me influence her kinda (That is with my ideas and stuffs). The problem is that very few of them accept corrections and that is where its annoying and frustrating cos alot of times, they tell you that you do complain alot. Imagine That! You are trying to help someone grow positively and the next thing you hear is that you complain alot. So, in as much as not all gurls are guilty of this, I can say authoritatively that most gurls are guilty of this inadequacy...

candygosh: That is so untrue.
Fact remains, everyone wasnt created to be perfect.
So focusing on a particular gender doesn't help d situation.
Both males n females have their share of imperfection n flaws. So I see nothing wrong if I expect my partner to take me as I am.
Btw love sees past every flaws

I agree with you that none is perfect. We all have our short-comings in life. From what the OP is trying to get out, he ain't saying that men are the ones who are perfect and what, what he is trying to say is that it seems the ladies seem very much comfortable with their deficiencies. Like I said from the outset, both males and females are guilty of this, no doubt! There are men who tend to neglect their fault also, but that will be attributed to the fact that men take their ego in high regards. Women on the other hand, I haven't figured out why they have to allow their short-comings to sediment deep within them while something can be done to revert or rather bring about amelioration. Anywayz, my logomach is that, in as much as love conquers all, I think there is need for Ladies to take cognizance of their vices and try as much as they can to do something positive towards becoming better of than they are because personally, I always believe there is always room for me to improve my present way of living and reacting to issues around me. So, I implore the ladies to act accordingly whenever there is need to do so...

In a nutshell, in as much as you should be taken for who you are irrespective of your failings and whatever, I yet implore the ladies to be alot more mindful of their failings and make efforts in making themselves better people...

adoken: i need a java programmer with installable java software running on windows xp...call 07063600001

What do you mean installable java software?

lolafaj: Maybe Nigerian men like it that way. It also depends on your body type, exercise and food in-take. I have a baby and mine is still flat but I take conscious effort to keep it that way. My husband wants me a little bigger though but no….

I actually admire girls that are comfortable with the way they looks and don’t feel the need to obsess over their appearance.

In all fairness, Nigerian men don’t all have flat mid-section either.

Yeah you are right about that... And like you said, you take conscious effort to keep it that way. This is exactly what I am trying to get at you know...

ThiefOfHearts: Many people wish they could reach old age. Nothing wrong with old.

Sure! But that doesnt mean you wanna be looking very old while you are merely a young lady. Does it?

phineboy1pimple: Knw fully well what U want n how to get it but can't cuz of an arrangement... Can lead to frustration.... Frustration on d oda hand can lewd to paranoia... That on its own definitely is nt gud in any relationship...


Dnt U agree?

I quite agree with you but, how is it possible that you cant get what you want? If you are the type that is determined you will know that impossible is nothing, in other words, difficult doesnt imply impossible. Sometimes getting what you want might take longer than expected but that is not to say you will have to settle for less cuz what you crave for tarries. Anywayz, if you know me fully well, you will know that frustration is very far from me coz situations seldom toss me aimlessly as I am very prepared to face whatever that comes to the fore. Just so you know, I am a perfectionist by personality and that will give you a glimpse of how I see and react to things around me....

phineboy1pimple: Self control simply means self denial... Which leads to paranoia...

Does it necessarily leads to paranoia? That means you don't really know what it takes to have self control.. This might also mean that there is nothing like self control in your encyclopedia, which means also that faithfulness is not something you take in high regard. Because faithfulness entails self control and or self denial according to you and which momentarily takes you to a point whereby your partner feels safe with you. Besides, I never knew faithfulness could bring about one being paranoid (That is according to you).... It can be deduced therefore that there is a misconception about what you see faithfulness or self control to be and until you re-direct your mind and think outside the box (That is going beyond your perimeters), then you might have lost the right path...

ballabriggs: Errrr yeye dey smell. Dey there dey deceive yourself while the 'Sister in the Lord' wey you wan marry or done marry dey carry am go give Pastor.

Ha ha ha ha ha... Newsflash! I am SINGLE AND PROUD... The fact that I can't take unfaithfulness thats why I had to remain single but hey! It doesnt change a thing. I will remain the faithful guy for life. Besides, them dey pay person say him don sleep with 100 gurls? At the end of everything, if you are to be sincere with yourself, you will realize that there ain't any gain whatsoever in being unfaithful. Tell yourself the truth brah.. I am not in a relationship, but even if I were to be in one, I would still remain faithful. Its my logo...

ballabriggs: Hehehehe Mrs Chima, muruanya O. No go dey inside water make soap dey enter your eye.

In fact naija babes, person wey dey cry dey see road O. Make una shine una eye like Bola Tinubu. Faithfulness just like truth in brother done die. lol

Bruv... Faithfulness ain't dead neither is truth dead. The fact that majority of men out there are unfaithful and stuff doesn't mean we all are guilty of this menace called UNFAITHFULNESS.

JOY JACOB: mine is on da 7th, bt planning to mark it on da 19th

Why you wanna mark it on the 19th Thats my date ooooo

Wislet: TODAY is my birthday.
1st of Nov.

Happy buffday princess... How e dey be na? Anything for me..?