@ faithin9ja: please stop being pedantic here.

There is a difference between a culture where child-brides are the norm as seen during the
time of your nanna ( grandmother) and a failing in a system where children fall out of the
safety net.... in a culture that speaks against or prohibits child-brides.

Your nanna was probably married or had the family support, the 15yr old spoken off, was NOT.

Preaching on the need for the modern youth to have an inner sense of well-being and
placing them in a position to be able compete on the global platform is not a bad thing, is it

There are different models to use. If you feel sending them to sell or "hawk" things will make them
understand the value of money, so be it.
Afterall, many innovative businesses were built or at least started in some teenager's bedroom.

To each, his own.


.

@ Yomieluv.....

I understand the effizy, oppression culture in 9ja.
But to use that as a singular reason for the youth jumping on every bandwagon
is simply immature and empty.

"Empty drums make the most noise" ain't it?

Self confidence is not acquired by possessions but by inner development.
The ability for the modern youth to do this is watered down by today's media.
Thats why good mentors are needed.

Long after Mr yahoo rots in some jail or "executed" by his two-faced cronies,
the upright man who had contributed meaningfully to his society will be
remembered for generations.

Lets all remember that, when chasing the "benjamins".


.

Need I say more to nipeks001: replies from Olowotee and Pauloman have said it all.

To faithin9ja: I concur on the fact that change or evolution is the only constant factor.
But I disagree on early adoption of changes yet to be "accepted" as social norm.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Its unacceptable for text-speak to be used in a formal atmosphere, till its accepted
in dictionaries as proper words.




For those chasing fame and fortune via different talent searches, its fine as long as
other things such as vocations or education are not left by the wayside. Have a look around
for media or sportspeople who have had fortunes squandered, you would understand this
piece of advice.
Beckham with all his "football money" has to have other sources of income and influence.

The arithmetics beat me: you need to beat 100,000 or more to get on some of these
talent shows and the young ones find it difficult to beat a few hundreds to make top regional
grades.

Is it poor application of one's efforts here??

.

Now the re- aaaal killz returns!!!!

@ Op

LOVE her dont smother her.

Let her have her personal space....
Might have played a part in previous break-ups.

My 2 cents....


**Acknowledge it may be a false presumption**
.

^^^^^^

Regarding her fertility or fecundity to be precise: a lot of factors apply, outside of surgery.

Centering on her previous surgery, more details r needed:
Of the pregnancy and process of birth.. any complications during both n thereafter.

Seeking advice from ObGyn impartially would be useful.

.

Many happy returns.

Vous avez bonne annee!!!!

.

Op,

What r u really afraid of??

Loss of fertility or need for repeat section??

.

Lets cut him some slack.
He's got his Dr Phil hat on!!!

Agree with Killz to an extent on his Summary.
Dont feel she needs to break up with Mr Current to forget Mr Ex.
Given his caring, supportive nature despite her " issues"
Yes, she may need some space..... but why go hurting another
Continues a chain of broken hearts.

For others, who feel good se.x Is the answer: u all need to stop generalizing n
understand women better.

.

A few more details to wet the palate

A few more details to wet the palate


B

What r ur preferences?

Cardiothoracic
Open heart
Interventional radiology ( stenting or ablative surgery)

Pls choose!!

@ Op:.

She has made her mistakes n hopefully learnt her lessons
As long As she effects character changes, which Op testifys of
The rest is btw herself n her conscience.

You Pharisees, BACK OFF!!
Who is without sin, should cast the 1st stone!!
Being conversant in GUM / sexual health field,
its amazing the number of girls whose option of TOP appears
to be their mode of contraception for a host of reasons.

I do NOT support TOPs But let's be empathetic here.



Regarding the option of marriage,.......
Is it necessary, a society wedding should be done
Whats wrong with a Registry wedding or small close family thingy?
Leave owambe for later, once money is abundant.

I want to believe they love each other based on Op's accounts.

There is a saying........ paraphrased.....
Marriage will have its trying moments
It may be in the morning........predating or early years
afternoon...... after 10-20 years dependent on spouse longevity
nights............ typically unexpected widowhood or vice versa, divorce
after 30 yrs

In essence, simply brace up and fight for ur success!!!
Once convinced you are on the right path
Prayers must always be offered to aid the success of their union.

Its not the wedding celebration that counts,.... the successful marriage is the goal.



For the 2 men offering marriage,,,,, scrutiny of their true intents backed by prayers
is needed.


Goodluck!!!!!!
.

@ Mynd:
I dey campe: terribly busy!!
How dey go dey go?
Hows the proj going?

As there are no absolutes in life.
Need to get more data on this "slapping saga".

In my books, that is a very serious offence......
even in the face of great provocation

How've, Justice should be tempered with mercy
Once the possibility of having a ill-tempered,
mannerless woman on board has been excluded.

.

The song says........
"Reach for the skies........."
No be so!!

But next time he complains, just use style connect ur backhand to his cheek!!

If he takes offence.......
Tell him, you are trying to kill the mosquito making noise near his mouth!!!!!!


** Btw no be me send u oooo**

Haba,
Baba Shoe-mae may win the lottery or come into an inheritance tomorrow.
No condition is permanent!!


Seriously Killz, u got a point.
But if there's any doubt bout the true intent of the "love"...
Its a useful option

@ Ijebabe,
Judges tend to be sympathetic to the wife that has sacrificed for the well-being
of the family and also being cheated on by the husband.

With children in place..... child support in addition to alimony is paid.
Its not always a bad outcome

.

@ fhl:

Patience is a virtùe you must have.
Despite the family pressure: pls marriage is serious business....
Not to jump in and out of.

Just meeting someone n marrying him just in order to say you have a husband
Not because you love him (after communicating n understanding each other) is a
poor foundation to build What hopefully will be a lifetime commitment on.

Wetin, na 32 u be. Worried bout ur fertility: freeze ur eggs.

Girl!!!!!!!!! live life fully...... engage in new activities, travel the world..,
enjoy different cuisines, learn new languages.
Do new sports activities.

Whilst having fun n being at peace with yourself, u tend to fall in some
good chap's laps.
Chances of being maltreated is reduced cos u r comfortable in ur own skin...
Not needing a man to validate you and being left to his mercy.

Shake body n begin to chop life jare!!!!!

.

@ Mynd.............Well said!!!!!
Couldn't have said it better.
How u dey?

Let's wait for more contributors with "Its a man's world" mentality come up with damning comments.

^^^^

What would u advise, given the current state of affairs?

^^^^^^^^^^^^
Thats relative and may be the case for the time.
If no deep convictions are found on further investigations,
The ability to swing her from old thinking formats lie in Op's hands.



.

Want to define the nonsense!!!!
Yes, you are more tolerant of quifs et al
No 'soldier' attitude

I would imagine that a spouse looking to get a significant part of the "soon-to-be ex"'s wealth
which pre-dated their relationship would be labelled a gold-digger.

What was the inducement for getting into the relationship initially? Money or love??




.

Correct my Impressions......
Pre-nups r to prevent the very thing u quoted: aint it.
Of course dependent on the clauses included.

She is only telling it as it is........ particularly the God bit.
The culture thingy may be more apprehension.
Its your onus to explore the deep seated reasons
if you r interested

We want more, more, more, more, more,
more, more, more, more, more, more.

Lovely story-telling there.

Why not do a sequel on Ibro's family accepting her
despite her background??

Getting u set as a serial writer: keeps ur fans keen n wanting more.


Well done, again.

Wow,

I have to say the suspense has kept me on the edge of my seat.

Well done NS..... really got it going... really good for that matter.
Keen to see how this all ends.

Welcome on board Bayfam,

What would u rather talk about?
You are welcome to start ur line of conversation.


You did say u liked art.
What type if I may POLITELY ask.....

Merci,

Bros,

Abeg softly, softly, little immature she appears.
........... Vocalizing bout her offering her affections to the highest bidder.

Are u aware of any of her mentors who can relate your difficulties n attempts to overcome them to her

BTW, is it set in stone, she will marry you
Her affections seem rather fickle at times. :-(

Hey emofine,
No worries re lateness.

I have to say that my knowledge of African art is limited to the widely publicized Ife, Nupe, Benin bronze mask.
In recent times, there haven't been any intrinsic art group or movement, I think...but stand to be corrected.
What seems to be more prevalent is the art of Africanized Europeans in the Senegambia,
and thanks to the struggle from Apartheid, along the Southern African subcontinent, (consistently) on the international platform.

What seems to be more popular is our oratory traditions, be it the singers from Mali... forgotten his name,
Folklore poetry n re-enactments of ancient worship as seen by the Yemoja priestess ( incidentally the chief priestess is not Nigerian) in Ife.

Springing forward to modern day authors....Soyinka, Saro-Wiwa, Clarke, Adichie, authors from Kenya n Ghana,.....

As mentioned before, our art has not flourished due to a multitude of issues leading to poor appreciation and hence poor patronage n funding.

What do u think??

The true worth of a man is the ability to know his own mind,
Making decisions from a balanced well-researched angle.

It defies logic in todays world, to compartmentalize a person in just 1 box.
A mark of maturity is being able to carry effectively your different
roles.

You are you, then, a son, a brother, a husband, a worker ( in whatever capacity)

Same goes for the woman.

YOU own yourself, owe urself the victory that comes with
living a balanced life, NOT any punny, u "popped" out from (PERMANENT)
or presently "banging ". (CHANGEABLE OR TEMPORARY)

PS: the wife clamouring for ownership with her mother-in-law,
is yet to pass Marriage 101 course. Need to re-sit the course/ exam.