₦airaland Forum

tufe:
fat lie. me and my guys dey talk wella, especially when doing short put and smoking at the same time will blasting

TMI,lol

@Tufe , abeg you wan make my husband ask me where I get this from? No tell am o

@Gaby, make sure you don't sing or play it in front of your man

mykali:
there was no sign on the door to the other cubicle that said, ''i'm making a call''

so no be the guy fault. . . .

nice joke.

Abi o, but is it true that men dont talk in the toilet?

Found this and could ot resist postiing it, Enjoy,


Sing to the 'I Will Survive' Parody


At first I was afraid, I was petrified!
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died,
But I'd spent oh so many years just waiting for a man that long, That I grew strong,
And I knew that I could take you on. . .



But there you are, Another lie!
I was ready for a big mac and you've bought me a French fry,
I should have known that it was bul sh t,
Just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.



Go on now go! Walk out the door!
Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out,
Don't you know we' re only joking when we say size doesn't count.


(Chorus)
I will survive, I will survive!
Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex with a handful of latex,
I will survive, I will survive. . . hey . . .

hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud,
But to hell with all your ego's and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin for a cordless multispeed,
Go on now go! Just make a dash,
Last time I saw a p***k that small was watching Gladstone run nude hash,
I should have asked for confirmation,
Should have asked for referees,
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me

Go on now go! Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers, Cos I'll only throw them back,
The only thing that I could do with a p***k as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick
Dip it in tomato sauce

(Chorus)
Go on now go! Get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance,
Cos I know it's length is right,
And if I ever see your tiny tockley at my door,
You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor.


Go on now Go!

The other day my man needed to pay a visit to the toilet , so he found a public toilet that
had two cubicles.

One of the doors was locked. So he went into the other, one, closed the
door, dropped his trousers and sat down.

A voice came from the cubicle next to me: 'Hello mate, how are you
doing?'

Although he thought that it was a bit strange, he didn't want to be rude,
so he replied 'Not too bad thanks.'
After a short pause, he heard the voice again 'So, what are you up to?'
Again he answered, somewhat reluctantly, 'Just having a quick poo, How
about yourself?'

The next thing he heard him say was, 'Sorry mate, I'll have to call
you back. I've got some d*ckhead in the cubicle next to me answering
everything I say.'

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

18

I have 20 used Victor Sprite 400 machines for sale they will be available from the 13th of September. If interested please send an email to jaina67@hotmail.com. Thanks

The Lord don dey Smile on Nigeria , this is the beginning of good things to come for this country

sneedyz:
Who scored d second goal?

Chinedu Ogbuke

Nigeria  we don win o

Nigeria  we don win o

Substitution Okoronkwo S  to  Anichebe V.

Xtremeshok:
Okonkwo has to be hi on sumtin, because i do not know why he is playin like a mad man,

PMSL

I just hope we play even better now, we can't afford to loose o,I wish I was watching this, I can't watch cos I am at work so follwoing the commentaries.

Father Lord, please let us end this match we smiles on our faces, please do not let us be put to shame, did I hear a big  AMEN!

For those who dont have flash, you can check the text commentaries here

http://www.goal.com/en/PartitaInCorso.aspx?IdPartita=25150&stato=First%20half

it is showing at 11am

Feb 2008 and going back in September for a friends wedding, too excited!

tufe:
ebony u don run again

Tufe Paddy mi, I no run , sorry just been a bit busy how are you?

The hubby no lock me up o, just busy with other stuffs , how your end?

spikedcylinder:
Oh ok! I am definately not that big. I am size 16(UK) sha.



brash!, you're a big boy eh?

I was beginning to think say na only skinny girls dey Nairaland, thank God you posted, I am between a 14 and 16(UK) depending on the store.

Used to be an 8 though, marriage and childbirth changed everything[color=#006600][color=#000099][/color]
[

T.D. Jakes (a well-known American preacher) was returning to Texas after a speaking engagement. When his plane arrived, there was a limousine there to transport him to his home in Dallas As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver. 'You know' he said, 'I am almost 50 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?'

The driver said, 'No problem. Have at it.' T.D. Jakes gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway. A short distance away sat a rookie State Police Trooper operating his first speed trap The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone. The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure.

The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down he was surprised to see who was driving.

He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor. He told the supervisor, 'I know we are supposed to enforce the law but I also know that important people are sometimes given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person.' 'The supervisor asked, 'Is it the governor?' The young trooper said, 'No, he's more important than that.'

The supervisor said, 'Oh, so it's the president.' The young trooper said, 'No, he's even more important than that.' The supervisor finally asked, 'Well then, who is it?'

The young trooper said, I think it's Jesus because he's got T. D. Jakes for a chauffeur!!!!!

Ahah, peeps so you mean to tell me that there is no one here that knows the price of ther following, it is just so I can decide if the profit I will make is worth all the hassle.
Help me abeg o

Moinmoin and Eko.

Efo riro oniru and Fufu

Used bandaid(plaster) with cotton wool inside found this in the bowl of peppersoup I bought from a Naija restuarant. are we allowed to give out names of the restuarant, I feel sick everytime I remember it , I took the soup back and the idiot waitress asked me if I would like another plate.

@Kiwi992,

Why all the hatred, I bet if you were offered the same job you would not think twice before accepting it!

Anivara,

I have the best suggestions, I think you should take the job, get me to go and do it and pay me 500 a day, how about that? The only thing is you would need to give me a weeks training on what the job entails as I have never worked in a Oil company  and I don't know jack about it!

Just joking, take the job I am a contractor and seriously looking for a role in Naija ( 3 months contract sha) as I have some stuffs to do in Naija but can't afford  to loose any income by not working.
I have a white colleague who work in PH for 18months with his wife and he came back to the Uk without any wahala although he said he would never go back to Nigeria.
So If a white man can survive it for 18months I too you can too.
But as in all things seek God's guidance. Good luck!

ula:
olu jacobs for male and joke silva for female

They getmmy vote too, I would also like to add Pete Edochie to the male category and Ayo Mogaji to the female category.

RIP Isaac Hayes, still recovering from the shock of hearing the death of Bernie Mac, whats going?

Family vacations in my opinion is really good, this is when you take time out of the hustle and bustle of your busy life to focus totally on your family and yourself. We endeavour to go once a year,I live in the Uk so I have never been to Orlando Florida.
But later this month we will be heading off to Disneyland Paris for a week and I very much looking forward to it.

I think the time you spend with your family is priceless and the joy you get from spending that time with them is equally priceless.

Hi,

When is the promo ending?

If I was to pay off the money at once will I receive all the docs stated
A.) Receipt

(B.) Letter of allocation

(C.)Estate covenants

(D.)Survey plans

(E.)Deed of Assignmentsand will I be able to start developing the land?

Can someone please tell me how much the following cars go for in Nigeria:

Honda Civic/Accord/Camry(5-6 years in age)
Toyota Avensis/Previa(5-6 years in age)
Any SUV/four wheel drive i.e jeep, Q7 etc(5 years in age)
(All from the US)
Also does anybody know how much buffing machines are sold(used ones)?
Some friends and I are bringing this in in October and just want to have an Idea of how much it is sold before we venture into it.

Kind Regards,
J