Saw this guy for the first time in my church yesterday, what a talent. He is full of talent and seems so humble. I pray he goes far.

Lyrics to Bianule as you requested,

Thank you for the life that you gave to us
Thank u for ur will to guide us
Thank u for ur word to direct us
Oh without a doubt u are the God for us
In the morning time u are the dawn
In the evening time from dusk till dawn
We salute u cos u are the don
And for all the things u,ve done

A brand new life he gives
To my friends and family
Now am living in victory
Now misery is far from me

Chorus;
Bianule bianule
Ife chukwu me r em
Agama e Nye ya ekene
Agama si ya imela

I ask myself wats kind of love is this
U be blessing me now I live in bliss
Count my many blessing then I make the list
Oo wat an unending list
I take some time to reminisce
Of the many blessings
I would av missed
If I didn’t have u right in my mix
Thank u for loving me

Chorus;

Bridge,; house on a hill
Diamond ring
Gold n beads that he gave to me
Life eternally, gave me everything
I be counting my blessing
And that’s 4 real

I am married, but if I was single, It would depend on how physically challenged they are.

No I won't. It is not a good idea, it always causes wahala. So if you want peace of mind no matter how much you love each other, please stick to individual accounts.

Thanks Dockey

Hi Dr Kathyekiti,

.
I had an IUD Copper coil inserted(hormone free) in February this year and I want to have it removed as I want to try for another baby, will I experience any bleeding afterwards? Will I be able to get pregnant immediately? Would I get any side effects from having it removed?
My cycles is usually between 20 and 28 days.

Occasionally, like when my single friends are going out and I know the sort of place is not meant for married women. Or when my hubby reallly pisses me off, I mean reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly pisses me off.

TBH though, I would never let go of my marriage, Olorun onije. Love my hubby and son to much to do that and willing to tolerate almost anything except repeated unfaithfulness and domestic violence.

I make mine with Ribena or Vimto mixed with gin and lemon.

kini awon people yi oni try. I wonder what it will taste like.

LMFAO, hilarious!

Love all, trust none!

lol at your last statement. I live in the UK and it is a bit expensive but I don't care as I am not the one paying for it. I don't mind her living with us she is 52 We are still both in our early 30s.
I wish you good luck though!

Sounds like a scene from desperate housewives. I am sure the hubby knows about it and he's getting his groove back with someone else too.

September 12, 2008
The Area Manager,
NEPA,
Lagos


Dear Sir,
COMPLAINT ABOUT YOUR SERVICES
I am writing to you with a deep sense of humility and gentleness. I consider this a great opportunity to communicate with an entity as awe-inspiring as yourself. Firstly, I bring greetings to you from residents of my area in Lagos .

As a dutiful citizen, I consider this letter as part of my civic responsibilities. Great countries comprise of citizens who are alive to their responsibilities. As a famous musician once said, "Ask not what your country can eat from you but what you can eat from your country."

I have benefited immensely from this country; therefore I have decided to give back.

I want to bring to your notice some strange occurrences which have been happening in my area. I want to sadly inform you that in the last 2 weeks, electricity has been stable. In other words, we sleep and wake up with electricity, we go to work and come back and electricity is still running. This is a terribly new and I must add DANGEROUS development in the lives of residents of my area. This is something we are not used to. This is too much electricity for us to handle. In the first week of constant electricity, I started acting strangely. I ironed all my clothes because I didn't know when "light" will be impounded on your orders. After 2 days, the "light" was still there. Therefore, I proceeded to re-iron the ironed clothes. My fridge which had not seen "4 hours" of constant light for months suddenly started freezing. In order to enjoy the maximum effects of refrigeration, I have decided to be drinking 20 cups of cold water before I go to sleep. Once I finish a cup, I put the bottle back into the fridge. After 10 minutes, the water cools and I drink. I just don't know what to do. All the Ceiling fans in my house have been switched on alongside my AC. My deck is playing at a high level. My life is now in state of chaos because of constant "light". My TV and VCD player are complaining of high blood pressure, as they have been terribly overworked in the last few weeks. Half of my light bulbs have gone on strike to protest their resurrection from blissful death.

All the customers in the beer parlour beside my house are complaining that the beer is too cold and wants to destroy their teeth. Even the rats and cockroaches are complaining that human assailants find it easier to track and exterminate them under electric light than under candlelight.

All the witches and wizards that regularly visited me in my sleep have suddenly taken flight in the presence of "light". Now I have to review my membership of MFM ( Mountain of Fire and Miracles) since their work has been done. Can you imagine what will happen to the membership of churches if constant 'light' persists? No more demons meaning No more offerings.

With the above situation not abating, I decided to seek the reason behind this strange situation. This task was made easy for me when I realised that it was the work of saboteurs. Sabotage is the main reason for anything going wrong / right in our country. Our elections were sabotaged, our president's health is being sabotaged, Obama's chances of becoming the American President are being sabotaged by Nigerians. Therefore this constant "light" is the handiwork of saboteurs within your work system. These disgruntled individuals are enemies of progress who want you miss your set targets. These enemies want you to score very low on your KPI assessment. I realised this fact when I stumbled on a document showing your Key Performance Indicators for every month. These are:

1. Explosive growth in the amount of Candle-lit dinners and balcony-bedrooms

2. Massive boom in the sales of Candles, torchlight, generators, inverters and lanterns

3. Increased work place productivity due to Employees spending at least 16 hours at work because there is no light at home

4. Massive growth of Rock music fan clubs being aided by the endless sound of generators that are switched on overnight.

5. Volume of human blood being sucked by mosquitoes unchallenged by ceiling/standing fans

6. Incidence of heat rashes

7. Large Increase in Naming ceremonies: When people have no light at home, what else do they do with their time other than *******?


Sir, I strongly feel that the above achievements will not be possible if we keep on having "light". The saboteurs in your workplace will make you look stupid and incapable in front of your bosses. The repercussions of this charade would be unbearable. This is why I am writing to you now. As a responsible citizen, if I do not volunteer this information, I know that I will be the one to suffer. The day you realise that I have been enjoying endless light for 2 weeks, you will pay me back with 2 black months. The end will be worse than the beginning, thereof. I am at a crossroad. This is a major dilemma. Should I keep quiet? No I won't. This is because Evil triumphs when Good Men keep silent. Your incompetent staffs have left the light switch on and gone to sleep. I know you will take back all that we have stolen from you but Please remember my house in the day of recompense.

Your humble servant

Myself

Hi Canyon,

I only read your first post don't have the patience to go throught the whole thread. If you are really considering changing your name to an African one, here is a website with a list of African names and thier meaning-
http://www.behindthename.com/nmc/afr.php

akininNC:

@ Leilah
Fancy meeting you here, but how long has you hubby been overseas? I am of a different mindset, I actually enjoyed cooking, I cooked everyday for my two kids almost everyday for the lenght of the marriage, the cleaning I am not very fond of. Depending on how entrenched he is in the Nigerian culture you should be able to talk to him about it. I do not agree that you need to hire a maid to clean for 3 people and probably with all you have on your plate now you might not be able to afford it. The only approach that would have worked with me was a non confrontational approach. Try it after making love, both of you are not stressed, both are feeling good(hopefully )
Try to be direct and say honey, I need a little bit of help around the house, no yelling and no raising of voices.
ps I am going to correct you again but this is not a Nigerian problem but a communication problem. Also it sounds like you are newly married, since your daughter is only 3 so you are still in your feeling each other out.

Hi Leilah,
Unitl recently I was in the same dilemma as you, the only difference is my hubby used to help with the cooking and I am Nigerian. I tried shouting and fighting and this did not help, then I also tried what akininNC suggested and it worked for a short while and then he relapsed into his old ways.
Then I told him since you are not willing to help and I am getting way too stressed with being a mother, a wife , having a career, being a cleaner, a cook etc, we have to find a way forward. I then asked him if it was okay we had a live-in aupair who could helped with doing some of the house chores and the school runs and he agreed and I also said since she will be playing the part he is meant to be he would have to pay for her services.

I have to tell you things have become so much more easier since we have had the au pair, I still do all the cooking and some of the cleaning of the house but it is so much more easier when you can come home to a clean house. I now have time to play with my little one in the evenings instead of rushing off to do the dishes and all other house chores. For the weekend him and I can go out , we and do stuff together as a family.

I am not advising you to get a live - in au pair, but you can get a cleaner to come in 3 or 4 times a week to ease the burden of doing everything yourself and once in a while you can ge a baby sitter around for the weekend so that you can either spend some time with your hubby or with friends , or just relax generally.

I hope things work out for you though.

You will find an answer to your question in the Auto's section.

naijacutee:

Thank you, engineerd! Starbucks thrives in the West because :-

- Hot beverages (Tea, Coffee, Hot chocolate) are somewhat of a cultural thing. Most Europeans find nothing strange in "having tea" right after lunch or dinner. The success of Starbucks (I believe) owes partly to the fact that they have been able to make a brand name out of taking this "hot beverage culture" and putting it on the street for easy access.
- It's implemented in temperate countries. I'm more likely to fork out £3.00 for tea/coffee when I'm walking on the street, in the bitter cold and the nice smell from a warm coffee shop wafts through my nostrils.

I can't imagine drinking a hot beverage when I'm sweating inside Lagos. That sort of reminds me of the Agbo mixture which you have to drink in the heat to "sweat out the malaria". . . .

On the other hand, we can take the same "Starbucks situation" and plug our own variables in.
- We have hot, tropical weather, therefore cold drinks will definitely sell.
- Drinks which are somewhat cultural - Well, there are plenty : Kunu, Zobo and maybe even bottled palmwine (Or is that taking it too far?)

Sorry I did not read your post before posting. I totally agree with you the only way you will achieve profit is if you customise your "Starbucks" to suit a typical Nigerian.

Only if you intend to serve, Moinmoin and ogi, Akra and Ogi, Fried egg and yam , bread and tea etc.

Sounds like a brilliant idea.With a food business you are very unlikely to go wrong, plus there is money in that country so you will definitely progress.

You must have itin mind that, due to our culture you would have to get the waitresses to wear something a bit more modest than a thin strapped top and short skirt. Apart from the fact that no mother would allow her daughter to work in such an environment, the reaction of the older generation will not be a good one.

What you can do though is to find away of design your own uniform with Ankara/Kente to give it an African appeal and then get the materials sown into sexy styles, se you get me?

This has to be read, laughed at and passed on. There is not a
woman alive today who won't crack up over this!

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the
week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's
office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at
9:30 am.
I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am.
The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene
when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able
to make the full effort.
So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pyjamas, wet the washcloth
that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called
in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the
table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended
that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.
I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made
an extra effort this morning, haven't we?"
I didn't respond.
After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.
The rest of the day was normal . Some shopping, cleaning, cooking.
After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called
out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"
I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had
all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."
NEVER going back to that doctor ever

U sure can honey

first-time mother in hospital. the surgeon comes to her bed carrying the
baby.

'mrs smith you have a beautiful, healthy baby . . .' he hesitates.

'what is wrong?' mrs smith cries - 'you are hiding something from me. what
is wrong with my baby?'

'there is nothing actually wrong with your baby, mrs smith, but it is a
hermaphrodite'.

'what does that mean? is it going to die?' panicked the new mum.

'no', said the surgeon, 'as i have said, the baby is perfectly healthy. it
is just that it has the sexual characteristics of both boy and girl.'

'blimey!' said mrs smith. 'you mean it's got testicles and a brain?

01 Oct 2008

 
'YOU DID IT TO ME.' MATTHEW 25:40
A minister on Chestnut Street in Philadelphia USA noticed a homeless man coming towards him. He was filthy and his beard was caked with rotten food. He was holding a cup of coffee and the lip of the cup was dirty. Staggering up to him the hobo exclaimed, 'Hey, mister. You want some of my coffee?' The pastor really didn't, but he thought it was the right thing to do, so he said, 'Sure, I'll take a sip.' When he handed the cup back he remarked, 'You're generous giving away your coffee.' Looking at him the derelict replied, 'Well, it was particularly delicious today, and I think if God gives you something that good you should share it!' The pastor continued: 'I figured I was being set up and it would cost me five bucks. So I asked him, "Is there something I can do for you in return?" The man answered, "Yeah, you can give me a hug!" (To tell the truth, I was hoping for the five dollar option!) He put his arms around me, and I suddenly realised he wasn't going to let me go! People were passing by and staring at me. There I was, dressed in my establishment garb, hugging this filthy bum! I was embarrassed. Then little by little my embarrassment changed to awe. I heard a voice echoing down the corridors of time saying, "I was hungry; did you feed Me? I was naked; did you clothe Me? I was sick; did you care for Me? I was the bum you met on Chestnut Street, did you hug me? For if you did, you did it to Me."'

@labiyemmy:

Hi, thanks for the review.

As per 1.

That depends on the reception to the satellite, if it is clear sky, it shouldnt usually be like a minute.

As per 2.

I think this is mainly due to traffic and co, it sure recalculates and gives you the coorect time as you travel.

New maps came out last week. PLease liase with us to get new maps installed.

Point taken, I did not buy this , I borrowed it from my brother in law, but I will definitely be getting mine and I will tell him to get the updated maps.

More grease to your elbow.

Rather long but interesting. When will racism come to an end?

Hi,.

Sorry to have wasted your time, got to Ibadan and found out that my younger sister is an expert gele woman.
So she tied both my gele, my friend(the brides gele) and all my other friends 5 of us. I would love to post the pictures but the bride has not given me permission to do so as she is in it.

I don't know about Cele churches, but I did attend a C and S church for a while. I learnt that they do not wear shoes into their place of worship because back in the old days they learnt from the bible that prophets and men of God did not put on shoes when they are at the altar as it is deemed holy ground.
Also because when the Lord appeared to Moses , he was ordered to take his sandals off as he was standing on holy ground. Basically, I think they are just mimicking the way in which prophets and holy men of God used to worship in the old days by regarding their church as a holy ground where you don't wear/put on any shoes whilst worshipping.

As I said I only attended for a short while so I might be wrong.

Debolay,

I want you to know that Bisi will not die but live to declare the glory of our living God In the mighty name of Jesus.

I release her from every strong hold of pain and infirmities in the mighty name of Jesus.
Lord we thank you for the work that you have begun in Bisi's life and we believe that you will complete it perfectly,thank you mighty one.

PRAISE THE LORD !

My peeps, we tried this GPS out in Naija, I most say I am very impressed. It is not easy to develop a nvaigation system for a place without a proper plan so who ever developed the software is a genius.
Good Points-

1. User Friendly- Easy to use
2. Wil definitely take you to your destination , you won't get lost


A few downside to
1 . Slow- slow in the sense that, it takes a few minutes for it to locate where you are and if you do not take the first route you are given it will take about 2 mins to recalculate a new route.
2, Not entirely accurate- it might tell you you will reach your destination in 10minutes when in actual fact it will tkae you 20 minutes or more.

Other than that, it is fantastic, especially for people like me who get lost easily . I would definitely recommend it. Well done to whoever developed the sytem!

hi,

I haev spoken to some friends and most of them go to Naples(Italy to shop) so sorry not of much help.

If you want to go there though, I have been told that with 500k you can buy :- ladies matching shoe and bags, Lace , voile etc, wristwatchs, handbags, sandals , mens shirts and probably jewellery.