Eddygourdo's Posts
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Mamatee07:fact is sure that we are complex beings. Thus my position that there is a primary role stands. The man who is submissive in everything but not food, is generally submissive. That's all I am saying. Even in a hurt about food he will revolt. But if matters are about to escalate he would be able to be submissive and let peace reign, because he is comfortable in that role. We are still saying the same thing with respect to adaptability. This is what handles the abilty of a spouse to handle role reversal which could occur once in awhile. But when role reversal occurs the only thing that will keep the peace is aadherence to ur spouses main role. Eg men complain that when their wives became bread winners , respect flew out the window. But there are homes where despite the woman was bread winner, she still treated her man in his main role. AS a MAN. Thus there was no complaints. That's all am saying. That there must be a main role , and that role must be defined and respected even though it could change due to circumstance |
Mamatee07:I disagree with you on his issue being all about greed. How much was he making as a manager by the way. It had little to do with money per say , but with control. He flipped out for fear of loss of control as a man. Why will he complain of cheating he had no evidence to back up. He was just frustrated that she had taken over the primary role in the home and at large. As her manager he had some influence in her life , in whom she meets , in shows she attends and her wherabouts. He lost all these including money when she sacked him. Even affter that tiwa said she spent a lot on his image and of course money came his way. Yet je flipped out. It was a clear case of role reversal and in his case, he was a beta male with no role earlier and thus he felt threatened |
Kimoni:. You see if one understands what a marriage is all about , then you will understand why its till death do us part. The till death do us part, is supposed to be a key factor in choice of a partner at the very begining. Most times its never considered. Other less mundane things such as love are considered and thus one would find him or herself in a situtaion where divorce would appear the only solution. Peeps need to know wat marriage is first and then less will marry in the first place talkless of divorce. There must be room for flexiblity, but fact is that everyone of us has a main role in every relationship we are in. Role reversals could occur as scenarios deem fit. But we will always maintain our main roles. Eg a woman who is a beta could be the type who apologises easily to her friends when there is conflict. The first person to say am sorry is always she. While we could have a lady who wants people to apologise to her. When these two ladies get married. Which one will find it easier to conform to the traditional norm of women apologising to their husbands even if in truth they weren't in the wrong |
Mamatee07:that is the role definition I mentioned. The omotola case as with most popular successful women. The husbands were comfortable with a role change. While teebliz was not. He envied his wife. If right from the onset he was the man in that home, tiwa would still honour him no matter wat. But he was a beta male. the glory of his wife made him feel threatened and losing the manager position made him lose control. Other men in his shoes adapted with that role reversal but he couldn't. Am sure despite omotolas success she still cooks for her husband, and even if she was the bread winner of the home , she might still cook for him because right from the onset he was a man. And took on that role. What am saying is that we all have main roles that defines our positions, some men may not be dominant and could take on the submissiove role and yet it work for them. It should not be seen as a bad thing |
zeb04:with less than a page about the model that works for you and ur husband. I will outline the personalities you both posess that makes it work and link it to my theory above. The theory could be working already in ur marriage without u knowing. Look deeply and you would observe a role reversal a lot, and once there is not conflict when such role reversal occurs , then it implies your main roles have been defined at one time earlier in ur relationship. It could have happened unkowingly. It could be possoible that ur the husband in ur home unknowingly. My theory never said its a bad thing, but knowing ur main roles helps the family structure to rebalance itself if any future scenario causes a role reversal |
Mamatee07:when an arguement comes up, a very big one where both you and ur husband feel agrieved by each other. By societal dictates every body including your mother will appeal to you to let the matter die because they say, you are a woman, man is the head etc. In many cases as observe with women who have male spirits, the mention of that angle worsens the case and thus people could end up going to the man , to say " forgive ur wife , she is but a woman" . The tendency to do this is dependent on who assumes a very dominant role irespective of societal definitions of these roles. When I look at ur marriage , with a few lines I can define the dominant fellow there. It could be you , it could be ur husband. By identifying such a trait creates room for conflict resolution. We know whom to ask to subjugate even though he or she wasn't wrong. It could be the man. Or the woman. The ability to understaand that this role reversal I'd possible dependent on the scenario faced is very important. By the cast version of man is husband and his word is gold. And woman is subject. How do you resolve a conflict betwen two equally right people if the nature of the woman is dominant. How do u sell her the idea of subjugation because the law says be subject to her husband. Even when in truth she is blameless |
Evina:if I had no success cases I won't say what I don't know dear. Ur simple definition is too small and narrow to capture every part of people which become deciding factors in relationship. Its as mute as do not tell lies. Yet we have situations where a lie to s child is part of proper upbringing. You can't define that taking up domestic chores is a charateristic of a loving man. Love is a sphere who shape differes deppending on where you are standing to define it. Many have their own definitions on love and family values. My experience has taught me never to use lump arguements in analysing any marital scenario. If that's what you do, then I doubt you can have any long lasting solution to couples because u simply give them a lumped arguement without considering peculairities. Read what I wrote very well and understaand the angle am coming from. Its part of a model that has worked over and over again |
I always say to couples who come to me with many issues. "Who is the husband " and "who is the wife" . Most times am greeted with looks of shock and likely response like "he is the man na" ofcourse "she is the woman and thus the wife". I ask this question because the concept of husband and wife is a behaviourial connotation that could be binding on either a man or a woman. A husband is the head of the family, he speaks and others follow, he provides for the family and his word is gold. A wife is the keeper of the family, she is the neck of the home and thus should turn the head in the right direction, she leads the homefront and is incharge. Yet we know that no two situations can be the same. Some situations are dynamic as life itself and since we are dealing with humans of diverse nature. Its not uncommon to observe a family where the man performs all the attributes I listed for the wife and the woman does all I listed for the husband. Infact some homes startedd out with a man as the head, and financial or other reasons brought a role reversal. This implies that by function, a man could be the wife to his woman in opposition to the norm of a woman being a wife to the man. This is based on the nature and temperment of the people involved. There are men who gladly cook and clean the home, and there are others who feel insulted at the mention to them to raise their legs up so one can sweep. What works for family A is different from family B. And thus I always ask. Who has taken up the role of husband by ommision or commision. Who has done same for wife. When there is no understanding of individuals roles , there will always be conflict, no two captains can pilot a ship. A man takes up the role of a wife during courtship and when he marries his wife , he immediately starts taking up the role of husband, and after two years he wonders why he is unhappy and his wife doesn't respect him. From the onset of any realtionship, a woman must assert her role and the man must do so. This role must remain so till death do you part. Failure to determine your individual roles early have always caused rifts between new married couples . And all you will hear is " jide has changed , he is now so controlling ". And " mide can reply and argue for africa. She always wants to assert he decisions on me". They always will chorus " mide and jide were not like this before oh ". Aaand the trouble has started. Some hard women, are submissive to john but are domineering to mark. The simple explanation is dat john is an alpha male and automatically takes the husband role, while mark is a beta male who takes no role and thus allows the woman asuume whichever roles she feels will suit a circumstance. Define the roles in your relationship, marriage and stick to it. Situations could change it at any time and thus make a woman a breadwinner or a man a housewife. When such happens you should understand and carter for ur spouse knowing that such circumstantial role reversal could cause depression in people |
Nothing I enjoy moree than a lady on a tight pair of dark blue jeans. If she is curvy , you would see a reason to thaank God for this beautiful gift he gave us as men. Yet as much as I enjoy it. There is an issue I have been faced with many times and need clarification on proper conduct. Babes in the house , abeg if your fly is wide open, unzipped and a stranger(man) calls your attention to that. How would you feel. Appreciative of him ? Or disgusted at the pervert. I need an answwer to this because many atimes I am in such a situation. My spirit always pushes me to quickly alert the lady. Yet I do not so am not termed a pervert for looking (everybody looks...who no like better thing). I remember a situation many years ago where I sat wwith a lady in a bus, she wore a white skirt and we got talking, we even exchanged numbers sef, but once we got down I noticed a large red splot at her behind (the thing leaked or thereabouts). As I made to run after her and alert her. Other men stopped me and looked at me like wats my own sef . I felt bad as I watched her walk. Unknowing and ofcouse shamefully till a woman from nowwhere rushed and covered her up with a headtie. She never picked my call after that day. Either in embarrasment or in hatred that I likely saw it aand never alerted her. So do u prefer men look away at ur wardrobe malfuction or should we alert u to it? |
LordReed:you are a little boy who loves to rant. Coward offline and a bully online. will give you no more of my atttention which you crave. It could be aa homosexual craaving and I don't deal with such. Boga bye bye |
Nope its not possible. They love one but keep plenty for the joys of variety. A quick test of this theory is to observe a cheating family man. He dotts on his family and yet cheats on them. The day his family leaves him. If you like throw him in a pool with a the pretty ladies on earth. Most will have no erection and those who will would cry afterwards. Then you will know whom he truly cared about. We men love variety. But most times we love just one in truth |
sonnie10:if u don't want him to commit suicide. Please ignore him. Nigeria's frustrations have gotten the best of him. |
bejeria101:k |
bejeria101:the frustrations in this economy has gotten to you both. I pray ur situation improves for good |
LordReed:ok. |
The most dishonourable and dishonest man ever created is likely a typical nigerian. This lack of honour is exhibited daily on this forum. Its really crazy. Apc this , pdp that. Even to the detriment of our intrests. The fuel subsidy has finally been removed. The next observation will be an astronomical increase in the price of goods andd services. Yet for months now we rarely bought fuel at pump price. Fuel has been sold since march at 150 per litre to even 400 per litre during the scarcity and all attributed the rise in cost of items to the scarcity. As usuual we managed and suffered our usual way, with the declaration yesterday , all fuel stations are now selling at 150 or 170 per litre officially. Yet the price of items would soon skyrocket all in attribution of the price increase. An average nigerian is a theif and will always find ways to cheat his fellow man. To gain from our misfortunes and worse off to politicize everything. Subsidy should be removed because its no longer sustainable. I opposed it during the goodluck adminstration not because it was a bad idea , but beacuse it was sustainable and we where making a lot of money in foreign exchange. Why remove subsidy so jonathan and his croonies will have more money to steal. But today we aren't making much money and the subsidy is a drain which can't be afforded . But similarly to jonathan. Buhari has displayed cluelessness aand bad timing. The people are suffering the effects of a bad economy, no jobs, low minimum wage and lack of opportunity and yet this is the time they saw it fit to implement the subsidy removal. This is the height of callousness . This is the height of insensitivities and in my opinion nigerians should not take it. He should have made attempts to cushion the effects of an increased cost of living which the subsidy removal will trigger either directly or indirectly by the selfishness and wickedness of nigerians. Yet this wasn't done. I read here where people consider such a matter as a partisan one, forgetting that hunger and suffering do not know any party. Why can't we speak with one voice in condemnation of the acts of this government without giving it a partisan or tribal undertone. Its very unfortunate that the tribal, partisan and religious divisons which killed our fathers will kill the youths of today. We must rise up in unison and stop the political bickerings. #saynotogovernmentwickedness #saynotowickednigerians |
LordReed:I pray whatever life problems u are having that's causing all ur hate will be resolved soonest. God will provide a solution and hopefully you will conduct urself with respect. If not for us all. But for the child you are caarrying on ur dp |
Maryclaire1:swweet ke . It was very very bitter as evidence proved. Wats a broda to do when she is writhing in pains in pains I don't understand. All for her long throat |
Saronna:thanks hon . Women always putting somebody in trouble always. |
Nakairogold:thought I was the only one. Dube rocks. Whoever killed him must rot in hell |
alobright17:no biggie in a condom na . Its for male use. But pad ? The yeye babe even ask me if na me wan use am. Just imagine such |
Business took me down to lagos on quick notice. After the hustles and hassles, I came home to meet bbae in the red zone. Apparently the thing arrived when I did. I was angry but well no be today we beginn chop am. Bae reminded me dat I promise her a big bowl of ice cream since west ham won my team yesterday after I boasted. I warned her and reminded her what sugar does to her. Yet she was adamant (long throat) and accused me of trying to dodge repaying a lost bet. Anyway I bought the biggest size I saw at shoprite. Do youu believe that this lady licked everything and never bothered to offer me any. I kept quiet because I knew in a few hours my God will fight for me. All through the night nothing, I went out early this morning only to be called to return immediately by her wailing. I came home and met her in great pains and tried my best to conssole her while hiding a smirk of "ntooooor". Anyway she asked me to go buy her sanitary pad. Stupidly and without thinking it through. Out I went. I met a lot of people at the drug store, I lingered outside hoping they will disperse before I go in. Minutes passed and more people entered and none left. Bae started calling and wondering what's taking all the time. I summoned courage and entered. All eyes all of a sudden fell on that tall bros. The yeye nurse or whatver left everyone and asked me loudly " oga wat do u want" . I almost collapsed but yet I had to say it . " I want pad". Everybody suddenly looked at me. The sales girl in shock asked me again " you say wetin ?". And I told her I wanted to buy pad. I was so filled with shame, thinking the worst was over, till when the useless, foolish nurse faced me. Looked at a whole me up and down and asked. " OGA DO YOU HAVE HEAVY FLOW OR NORMAL" This woke up the devils in that store. They all burst out laughing . I almost collapsed and seeing that I have lost all dignity I told her " I have heavy flow". I answered on the assumption that the lady was kidding with me. When she wanted to explain the thick and slim pad issh was when I barked in anger that she should give me one of each kind . People kept chuckling at themselves despite my embarrasment. I bought three types of pad and hurried out. It is clear that I will never visit that shop nor street in a long while. All because bae has longer throat. |
shaybebaby:ok dats better. But note that like you pointed out some value may not be easily quantifiable. Thus one could make the mistake a silly cow doess who says its tail has no vaalue to it or the meat seller. When the multitude of flies come then it realizes its use. Value is importaant anyway no doubting that, but no in the view that human relation should be completely value based else where is empathy. |
Estharfabian:this is evidence that this account has been hijacked. Simple |
Vivalavida99:to assume that financial security is everything a marriage has to offer shows u are still aa learner. Finance is key no doubt. Wait till ur a single mother at 60, alone, unattractive with grown up children who may have found out for themselves who their fathers are esspecially the sons . Who wants to be a bastard. Your arguements do no support ur position on single motherhood. That's a choice frustrated and unwise ladies who can't see beyond their noses make. And I can explain if u want. |
shaybebaby:didn't know that men had the option of kicking out women whom they percieve to add no value to the kerb. Thanks honey for enlightening me. Muaaah |
In any general population, there are alphas, betas and nobodys. Alpha males, alpha females and of course their beta kinds. Aplha people are very opinionated, emotionally expressive, quicker to anger, control freaks and of course very attractive physically and personality wise. Beta people are generally meek , less emotional , slow to express anger, have good reaasoning and may or may not be physically attractive though most have a great personality. Just as in nature, unlike poles generally attract and the best of relationships or marriages exist between an alpha and a beta. This implies some marriages have an alpha male and a beta female, others have an alpha femaale and a beta male. Most relationships in this structure tend to be stable despite the presence of cases of emotional abuse by alphas on the beta. Despite this minor squabble which is expected of any couple. Alpha \beta relationships tend to work out. A marriage of opposites. Sometimes we have a case of two alphas or two betas. When two betas are married, it is synmonymous with sheeps without a shepherd. Most times poverty, mediocrity etc exists amongst them. But generally they still make aa peaceful arrangement with little possibliity of spousal aabuse. A love affair amongst alphas. Its the marriage made in hell. Two opinionated people, two know it alls, two proud attractive people is a clear case of two captains in a ship. There will always be room for disaster. Look at most war torn homes. They are likely alphas. Nobody for house wantss to be submissive to the other. Does this mean that abuse cannot exist in a marriage of opposites ? Betwwen alphas and beta ? The answer is clearly no. An abusive alpha female or male will always abuse his or her beta spouse unless held back by love and respect. Therefore if you are a beta, please seek a loving, godly and respectful aplha and things will be good. If you are an alpha, please you aren't God nor are u an animal. Say you fine no be money and ur anger no fit boil beans. Please stay away from fellow alphas and love your beta mate with respect and honesty. Lest we see you in a lekan shonde scenario. No reason will justify ur murder , even if ur wife slept with everybody and ur dog. Cheers |
I have a philosophy to serve it as it was served to me, to never turn the other cheek. An eye for an eye. And of course we all know that sooner than later all the people in my world will soon become blind. The begining point of every evil and abuse stems from a lack of respect of one another. In soccer, mutual respect for one another is preached to the high heavens but yet this key trait isn't mentioned in everyday life nor relationships. Mutual respect for the rights of one another, for the feelings of one another, for the well being of the life and property of one another. Mutual respect for the opinions and beliefs of one another. Love others as you love urself, treat others as you want to be treated, this mutual respect shouldd be independent of sex, age, tribe, religion , sexxual orientation and beliefs. Mutual respect is a major requirement for any sane clime and the absence of it creates chaos. A lack of mutual respect amongst couple creates unfaithfulness, untrustworthyness, lack of spousal appreciation and overall sadness. Men must respect the identity , beliefs , strengths and wweaknesses of women, irrespective of physical looks, marital status , education etc. Women must respect the identity, beliefs , strengths and weaknesses of men irrespective of fianancial status , physical looks, education etc. In general we must have resppect for ourselves and for constituted authority. Let's all start making respect a part and parcel of our everyday lives. You cannot genuinely be you brother's keeper without learning to respect him despite his similarities and differences from you. #irespectyou #eddygourdo |
God is the supreme being. His will at all times supercedes man's will. Every soul on earth has a predetermined series of trribulations he has been destined to pass through. To not repeat it means he must be found worthy and not wanting. Some are poor on earth here to help their souls conquer poverty, come are invalids to help their souls conquer that , many will reincarnate in differnet forms and states to help their souls experience the world in its fullnest. Thus prayer against a predetermined tribulation or death is a waste of time. No amount of crying or pleading could change God's predetermined fate of dying on the cross. Thus same applies to you. This is why a man with no legs cannot be made to walk by prayers unless he would walk in the air. Every thing on earth obeys the natural laws and are superceded by the supernatural laws. Thus they compliment each other and never in isolation. This act of predetermination explains a lot of concepts such as money ritual and the likes. Some are predetermined to die young , to die painfully , to die sickly and to die old. Its not for God's love or hatred but its simply the earth excperience for each distinct individual soul. We are all different and thus our earthly life requirements are differnet. Nature will always adapt itself supernaturally to ensure that many souls of similar predetermined ending will have appointments on the same day, will board the same bus and will perish in the same accident . many of ur pains are predetermined. Its part of ur earthly sojourn. You cannot change them , God will not chaange them for you . But he is watching how you react and behave to it all. Whether you would still keep faith in the greater life thereafter or whether you would prefer to gain the world at ur soul's expense |
I prayed to God, I trusted in God, I believed in God , I had faith in God and yet I had pains, I lost my money, I lost my job, I lost my marriage , I lost my health, I am unemployed, there are evils in the world , there are wars and death everywhere and yet God promised to save his people in steadfastness. The bible is awash with promises and yet daily you observe scenarios thaat shake the very fabric of you faith. A wise man once said that , human kknowlege is equal in ratio to a grain of sand if the world was totallyy covered in it. Could God's will for us be evil? Could his will for us be failure and heart ache ? Could it be possible that having faith in bad situations is futile because its in accordance to God's will for you ? Therefore I will answer that question with a quote from the popular soap opera super story " we all are but pencils in the hands of the creator". I consider the life of man to exist in two dimensions. The body and the soul. Man is soul aand thus God created the soul in his own image aand likeness. Every soul created must have an earlthly journey before it returns to its maker. Before it returns to be one with God in heaven its natural home. An earthly journey is a testing phase for souls to prove their wortiness to be one with their maker. The earthly journey is a perilous one which must end in death , either from natural causes of ageing or from unfortunate events. Every soul shall die on earth here and be judged by its earthly sourjourn its suitabilty to return and be one with its maker. Any soul found to be unworthy would be forever cut off from it maker andd would raom in darkness forever (hell). Many souls have their earthly sojourn cut off abruptly, some experience great misfortune that skews their earthly experiences. These souls must reincarnante after death and thus repeat their earthly sojourns. The fact is that our God is a merciful God. A soul would reincarnate many times to exist on earth till it has had a proper sojourn on earth and is now ready to transcend to a greater level of being one with its maker. Souls that are damned to the abiss and forever cut off are evil souls , murderers, ritualists aand those who on earth here sold their chance of redemption to the devil. If the earth is a testing ground , a place where every soul irrespective of status must experience an earthyly journey of self determination. It should not be surprising when your earthly form feels pains, losses , dissapointments , and unhapppiness. Even God felt all these when he reincarnated on earth as an earthly being named jesus. He felt pain, hunger, poverty , dissapoinment etc and even in being God it was overwhelming that , he wished his cup of sufferings shhould be taken far away from him. But at the end he triumphed over his earlthy form and returne to be one with his father. Setting a pace, a living example of God's expectations of every soul made in his image. We can have faith that God is faithful and staedfast . He wants a lot of his souls to return to him, all the promises in the bible are true but are not necessarily reflective of God's conduct in our earthly affaris. If you want a perfect example of how to have the perfect earlthy journey so that in death you could return to your maker without need for reincarnation or the abiss. You need to watch jesus. The way he lived, the teachings he gave , the beliefs he had and professed. Its a life example which God has given to mankind. He became flesh and dwelt amongst us . To prove to we all that an earthly existence should not be a reason to lose our place with him. But an opporunity to renew our faith and belief in our maker. And to one day return to him upon our death. Will be expantiating further in additional posts. Keep up |
Cameleon72:. Sexy lady, what program, mba or msc. Why not visit any of their study centres close to you or check online for requiremnts on course of choice. Where are u located |
Affluentkess:edoxnt@yahoo.com |
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