₦airaland Forum

sisisioge:
See life! The most shocking aspect of this story is his absolute belief in his own fairness. She should change the title to his name alone! Chai! I strongly believe in husband and wife teaming o but this is pure day light fraud

This is why sometimes parents insist one should marry within their class to avoid the spouse who will permanently hold your background against you and emotionally blackmail you for every achievement.

He thinks it is her job to keep the marriage, he thinks he can keep her hanging without divorcing her, I blame her because she is begging him and opening posts to ask for advise, if she had womaned up and called his bluff he won't be so rude and arrogant.

It is her job to keep a home while it's his job to threaten to kick her out of her own home

sisisioge:
See life! The most shocking aspect of this story is his absolute belief in his own fairness. She should change the title to his name alone! Chai! I strongly believe in husband and wife teaming o but this is pure day light fraud

This is why sometimes parents insist one should marry within their class to avoid the spouse who will permanently hold your background against you and emotionally blackmail you for every achievement.

He thinks it is her job to keep the marriage, he thinks he can keep her hanging without divorcing her, I blame her because she is begging him and opening posts to ask for advise, if she had womaned up and called his bluff he won't be so rude and arrogant

sisisioge:


Your story corroborated hers sir! You guys are on exactly the same page! Summary, you wanted her to change the name on a property you just confirmed that she owns the lion share of to your name alone! Awwww...you are so smart!

Anyways, my understanding of the story as pulled from your story and hers says you were practically trying to defraud her!

1. She got the property (landed)
2. She did the paper works
3. She started building
4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house.

God is still in heaven, be fair in your dealings oga sir! Whew!

Exactly just imagine how men would feel if after an arguement women tell them to get out of their house. Joke indeed, the God complex to add to it all smh.

While the wife was wrong to have insulted him and his parents he is not a saint in it all. I still don't understand how apart from the insult part this is different from what she posted, she should put the house in his name alone smh. I blame Nigerian women for their desperation sha

Hmmm, while I understand your choice to break the marriage I don't understand wanting to be away from your kids because they didn't offend you. Yes you say you will ask them to come over when you move but how will they keep moving back and forth seperate towns because their parents cannot be adults about a bad situation.

They have school and probably family, you can be seperated and share custody without necessarily moving.

As for your story with your wife, you should not have told her to get out of a house you both built, you could have driven out spent a few days away if you were upset as you should be with a nagging wife cursing your parents but not to tell her to get out of a house she contributed to build.


You are both adults I wish you the best apart, my only concern is you taking an extreme position of leaving town that may affect the kids, you can stay in the same town and be seperated so the kids can enjoy having you both in their lives.

You both need to provide for them and ensure they do not suffer discomfort because two of you cannot live together, they didn't ask to be born but they need both parents even if seperated


Edit :

I just read the manipulative part of the post where you want her to choose between the house and her kids, you want bad person abeg. I blame her for wanting to hang on with this rudeness

Be a sane and rational person and marry a sane and rational spouse.

These things only happen with couples who seek validation from others.

Discuss the difficult details before marriage, finance, in laws, number of kids, cost sharing for bills, house chores etc. Don't assume, if you have questions ask, be clear about what you are getting into.

You and your spouse are going to be team mates, it is for two of you two to be on the same page and succeed not all those meddlesome family members.

The sad part is in laws who turn a husband into a cash machine and those who constantly seek to humiliate the wife by turning her into a help.

A modern couple should discuss these things and resolve them. I rejected a nice prospective spouse whose mother was rude to me because I couldn't live all my life walking on egg shells. People should be bold enough to stand their grounds on some issues before they marry

Respect55:
Are u married?

With kids your age

Respect55:
And Less is demanded from men?

What exactly is demanded from men during in laws visits?

A woman is expected to cook and clean after them.

She is expected to smile always even when she is having a bad day

She is expected to tolerate all sorts.

It's too much work.

I cannot imagine having a new baby and putting up with all that

I am happy women are now realising the stupidity in any sort of pretence. Most of these things are caused by poverty sha. If you have a chef, a professional nanny and and we'll to do family members nobody will be discussing these things.

This is why I advise women to work hard have their own money and marry well. I am tired just discussing these silly issues, I cannot imagine how women who put with this " My brothers house crap" or men who need to have in laws drop in unannounced with long list of needs

Another round of unprotected sex.

HIV will just be looking at Mike and laughing. Haba is condom use a taboo in your village? Having all sorts of sex without protection

Respect55:
U dnt undstnd me. My brother asked the wife to tell that her sis who is on the way to go back to the village dat she didn't discuss her sister coming over with him

And I am asking you if you were the one who shows up at your brothers house and his wife says to him to tell you to go back to where you are coming from because she is not aware won't you open another whinning post here?

Respect55:
What is bad is bad. Both families should always be welcomed with same hands. Moreover, there is a kind of atmosphere a wife will crate and she won't even bother herself with cooking most of the time

Not realistic Sir. Let spouses discuss these things and respect each other. Too much is demanded of women

Respect55:
U don't attribute to men alone. Both parties do it. My elder bros told me that his wife called him one day near work closing hours that he should drive down to eleme junction and pick her sis who is coming and he replied her to tell the sister to go back to where she is coming from that they didn't discuss her coming. U see

It is wrong for both sides to do it hence my suggestion that these things be discussed and agreed.

However for your Elder Brother he can say let her sister return to where she came from but a woman is expected to accept the visitor like that and change her schedule to keep the in law happy, if she says she should return from where she came from world war will happen

Respect55:

In most cases, women feel more happier whenever any member of her family comes along than when the husband's people do.
Come to think of it, if the wife feels the woman is adding to her problems, why can't she table it before her husband so that they iron things out than beating her up. It is even as insult to the man of the house.

I honestly agree, however these things should be discussed and agreed before marriage, unfortunately most men feel it is their homes and so they need not discuss visiting relatives with their wives, and most women pretend to be nice and accomodating before marriage.

People should be honest and have these hard discussions first.

Women are more happy with their relatives staying over because while the man doesn't need to spend more time or to change his schedule to accomodate a visiting relative a woman has too. A man who goes to work at 6 am will still do so if his mother in law visits,but a woman needs to stay, prepare breakfast, say good morning, attend to the needs, come home to make more food and clear dishes etc. But with their own relatives they can say " sister make your own breakfast I am going to work" with an in law saying that will be deemed disrespectful

Respect55:
While we were living at Iwofe, there was this couple who the husband's younger sis was living with. The woman couldn't talbot and the uncle to the girl came and took her aware because both parents were dead. After some times the wife's ELDER dis moved in and refused to go. No problem arose till we moved out of the place. U will not understand these things

A couple should discuss and reach a compromise on these issues:

1. Do we want relatives staying?

2. How long should relatives stay?

3. How should in laws request come?

4. How do we handle in laws conflicts ( if your mother , sister or father offends me how do we handle it?)

Unfortunately the situation for years has been that men who believe it is their house do not consult with their wives before bringing relatives over even when they consult they don't accept any objections from the wife and declare her a bad woman if she says she is not comfortable with in laws over.

Sadly the women then become passive aggressive with the in laws.

I find that discussing and agreeing on these issues saves a lot of heart ache and drama

Respect55:
Move on as how? As a single mum or getting married again? Can u marry a lady who lost her home for beating up her mother in law

Respect55:
So ur mum coming over for Omugwo is creating an atmosphere for trouble?
Like they always say, u never can tell till it happens to u
People have bn doing that without issues.
M
On another note, dnt ever feel u have known all about a lady

1. Moving on doesn't mean remarriage, if she is working she can get her own place and live her life with her child or shared custody, she won't die. Also many single parents have and are still remarrying even men who beat their wives and got away with it have remarried, even wives who cheated on their husbands remarry. People are not living in 1865 anymore.

2. Yes, sometimes it can be creating a hostile atmosphere, if my wife and my mother do not normally get along, if my wife needs the kind of help my mother may not be able to provide or if my mother instead of aiding my wife is creating more work for her in that state.
Maybe if women started bringing their own father's to stay in their husbands houses regardless of how the husband feels you may start to understand why sometimes friction happens.

I belong to this century, I have kids grown up and I respect myself and give them space. If they get married I am a busy person, I have raised them well, let them enjoy their time and space without my influence. These generational issues need to change

Respect55:
The weight isn't same aldsame

Still a conviction and who says either the mother or wife could not have died from the beating, that is why violence should be avoided.

If the mother had health issues and died from one slap or the wife who just gave birth had health complications and died?


This is why violence and counter violence should not be encouraged sometimes it takes one blow to death

Respect55:
Think more of a woman who just lost her a year plus home.

She can make another home, she can rent her own house, it is not so difficult to move on anymore. A conviction however has legal implications

Respect55:
Can u stand the site of ur mum been battered and pushed out by ur wife

As painful as it is I will calm down and use my brain instead of my fist.

I will be useless to her if I get convicted and end up in jail or with a conviction on my record.

Secondly I will have tried to avoid a situation where such hostility may occur, one by marrying a sane spouse, two by not putting them in situations where resentment will breed. Having a baby is a lot of work, I won't add mother in law issues to it

Timbuktuo:
I think the reason jungle justice still occurs is basically due to lack of faith in the courts coupled with ignorance on how they operate. Sometimes, I think the populace is deliberately being dumbed down while being inundated with the most inane information, or maybe the media is filled with trash because of the dumb populace

Sadly true. The court processes are slow and annoying and sometimes the populace sees somebody facing trial out on bail and conclude the person is free if all charges

Respect55:
The two cases don't relate. Nobody is dead yet here. Murder no b child's play

Assault is a crime serious one. You get convicted even if you don't go to jail it is on your records you will have to declare to employers and embassies

Respect55:
The said man here is ready to sue her too. I have said that earlier

Good. I hope in future he will sue first instead of resorting to violence. Let them all answer for their crimes

Respect55:
Why not. The man of course wants to file the suit. The poor woman isn't yet released from the hospital. Whatever evidence again do they need

Good, they should get the medical report from the doctor.

Unfortunately he will also be convicted if found guilty of assaulting his wife when in the first place if he had been patient and reported only the woman will have had a conviction

Respect55:
Will ur staying or withdrawing from the thread have any impact on me? I dnt think so.
U are the one going emotional here. I won't trade insults with u again about brain and brawn.
So if a man committed theft and got caught and beaten mercilessly by people and he runs to police to report first, those who beat him might be sentenced but den, that does not remove the fact he committed the crime. As such, he can still be seud for his crime.
Thank u

The man who steals if any body reports theft will be arraigned for that however those who beat him will face charges of assault if he is the only one who went to report them.

Remember the Ojugo case or the Aluu 4 nobody is talking about the stealing again it is those who beat and killed that are now facing trial

Respect55:
I just wish the could settle because no one has heard their voices here before. Is she has good advisers, she should withdraw the case and try to fix her home because of their child.

Violence against persons is a criminal matter and not a settlement matter.

I hope more people use the law instead of taking the laws into their hands

Respect55:
So the wife beating up his mother isn't an act of taking the law into her hands as well?

It is hence he should have gone to the Police station as I stated in my first response, he didn't she did.

He can still go and report her and start another case because if he has not done that he cannot expect justice for his mother in a case she Instituted against him

Respect55:
This sounds preposterous. So for the fact that the wife reported first , the man can't sue her in another court anytime for battering his mother?
Use ur brain pls

He can try but I doubt he will be successful as he has already taken the laws into his hands.

sisisioge:
Whoops, they forgot to ask him to submit his international passport this time around. How sad . I'm sure it will end well...he won't be smart enough to completely discard the passport he has right now while taking up a new identity. What can't money buy?

Anyways, for the record...I totally despite what the dude did.

Madam you may have a comprehension issue athink.

It is up to the prosecutor to argue that the defendant may be a flight risk and the Judge has to assess the level of risk and then either set bail high or request for a passport, remember that there is still the presumption of innocence until proven guilty so a judge is not a wizard to know who will run away and who will stand trial, at that point he still had a job and strong ties to the community so he wasn't really a flight risk

Court processes are not yaba market discussions

sisisioge:


If you would like to meet him, bait him by creating a topic about how women are the scums of earth. He's gonna be all over it. Then you can ask him for his case transcript.

About me beating up people, don't worry about it

Until I see the actual judgement I won't believe what some faceless Nairalander claims on killing his girlfriend and succeeding because a judge said he would have done the same big lie.

I know how the system works. No judge will be stupid enough to say that the girls family will petition NJC

sisisioge:
Oh, so he ran away! So what became of those who stood in bail for him? Another of the holes in the naija judicial setup. A case as sensational as that still pending with the culprit at large! Whew!

Anyways, don't worry about me...I almost don't bark, let alone bite. But I think that woman got exactly what she deserved. If I were a lawyer, I would happily defend that guy probono...highest, we claim momentary insanity.

Those who stood surety for him Forefited their bail bond.

It is not a naija judicial issue it is an a
Issue all around the world people flee when out on bail hence the Judge for people who are at risk to flee demand they submit their international passport.

You should admit that most of the information you have quoted are half baked.
As for Ivies case believe me he is very close to total shame and jail term this I know for sure as someone with information on the matter justice may be slow but it is sure if people perserve and follow processes

sisisioge:
Oh, so he ran away! So what became of those who stood in bail for him? Another of the holes in the naija judicial setup. A case as sensational as that still pending with the culprit at large! Whew!

Anyways, don't worry about me...I almost don't bark, let alone bite. But I think that woman got exactly what she deserved. If I were a lawyer, I would happily defend that guy probono...highest, we claim momentary insanity.

I won't believe this until I see the facts of the case and the judgement.

Cases are won on evidence and the law not on sentiments or if one has a wife or a mother.

However feel free to be beating people up if you feel it is the answer to wrong doing don't sha lament when you end up in jail because you think the Judge will have a mother and feel pity

sisisioge:
Well, this your case sample is one out of twenty. Remember the guy that broke his ex wife's legs and almost killed her? As serious as the case was, with all the proofs and witnesses even in light of the premeditation attached to it, the guy isn't still in jail. Or has he been sentenced? Many many husbands battering wives here yet, they still walk freely. This is Nigeria, he just needs a good lawyer that can prove that the wife had it coming and boom!

By the way, there is a nairalander who went as far as killing his gf yet got a light sentence. He said the judge empathized with him and said he most likely would do same as the guy did and handed him a light sentence for murder! Guy is back filled with hate and mostly would do it again given the chance! How much more a guy that merely gave a tiny madam back a dose of her medicine...if he's got a good lawyer, he would walk.

Which Nairalander? Please let me see the transcript of the judgment? I doubt any judge will be stupid enough to say that.

There are different grades of murder, some can be ruled in self defense meaning the person attacked you and you had no choice but to defend your self that is allowed under the Constitution but you have to prove beyond reasonable doubt that it was In the heat of the moment.

There is also involuntary man slaughter where you kill somebody by mistake you had no premeditated need to kill the person it just happened in error.

There is first degree and second degree murder depending on how premeditated it is and how far the killer went to plan and take a life.


So be clear about the facts of the case before you state it

sisisioge:
Well, this your case sample is one out of twenty. Remember the guy that broke his ex wife's legs and almost killed her? As serious as the case was, with all the proofs and witnesses even in light of the premeditation attached to it, the guy isn't still in jail. Or has he been sentenced? Many many husbands battering wives here yet, they still walk freely. This is Nigeria, he just needs a good lawyer that can prove that the wife had it coming and boom!

By the way, there is a nairalander who went as far as killing his gf yet got a light sentence. He said the judge empathized with him and said he most likely would do same as the guy did and handed him a light sentence for murder! Guy is back filled with hate and mostly would do it again given the chance! How much more a guy that merely gave a tiny madam back a dose of her medicine...if he's got a good lawyer, he would walk.

Please go and follow up on Ivies case it seems you have missed.

The guy ran to America, he forged divorce papers and all she came online and complained immediately a team of lawyers put together all the evidence and sent to the American Embassy and stated that he had a pending attempted murder case. His visa was revoked, he wrote to some blogs begging she has said no way, right now he us a fugitive I'm America and any day they catch up with him he will be deported to face the law.

He was awaiting trial in Nigeria when he ran away. Cases take time even abroad that somebody commits a crime doesn't mean he or she will go to jail immediately. The person goes to jail after the Judge has heard from all witnesses checked all evidence and find that the person is guilty. Before then the person may be out on bail if the offense is bailable. The other 19 you mentioned perhaps the people assaulted didn't go to the police or they decided to settle out of court but if you want to gamble with your freedom by assaulting another person instead of letting the law take its course who am I to stop you

sisisioge:
I hope they are in Nigeria. Nobody goes to jail for this kinda issue here. Rather, their lawyers and media will battle it out. The judge sef, whether male or female will be divided between what the law requires and what our culture demands...its a case that will most likely leave no winners. The woman on the other hand will find her husband and possibly pikin go front eventually.

Any more thoughts?

Seems you have never seen the four walls of a court room, many people go to jail for assault I can even Google some instances for you.

I know someone personally who went to jail because his brother in law beat up his sister and he went to get revenge the in law reported him and like a joke he went to jail.

The judges do not rule on emotions and sentiments they rule on law. If it is proven that you indeed committed assault you will go to jail or if the Judge is lenient depending on the gravity of assault pay a hefty fine.


There are many cases online please read up. The sad part is even if you get a light sentence and option of fine you are already a convict in Nigeria and will affect job applications and visa applications


Why people have gotten away with assault is because people didn't report or it was settled before it got to prosecution level. These days people are becoming wiser and learning more and seeing cases fully prosecuted.

So many cases which before would have been minor family issues are now going to court and people getting jailed for it. The law is the law