₦airaland Forum

EponOjuku:
Chairman, committee of friends, Special Adviser to married couples, You remember this post?


You then posted this


Now, you're asking this question.


We can't all be fooled. Being a man has to do with taking responsibility for your actions and standing by your words. That's why you have to think properly before talking or doing things.

When angry, be very careful about what you say. Anger lasts for a short while but the repercussions of things said or done could last a lifetime. Your wife goes out to wherever and is welcome there because she tells them what you said not what she has done.

Apart from the fact that your wife is abjectly irresponsible for leaving your house and your kid with you, Your wife is not supportive and does things in secrecy cos she knows you're erratic and she's not secure with you. She can invest in the marriage union today and you kick her out tomorrow.

On the flip side, she could be leaving the kid cos she knows you can't cope and you'll want her back.

Hehehehehe 80% of the time those claiming a friend told them are writing on behalf of themselves.


The poster is not serious, he found out she lied then if he doesn't want let her go, this back and forth for years is annoying, the poor child must be confused now better to have parents seperated and contributing to care than this back and forth.

donb06:
If you have led a team before then you will know that no matter the unity and synergy within a team, responsibilities must be delegated to each team mate that must be held responsible if his/her department fails.... but the love and synergy among them will propel other team mate to cover for him or her... and when these[b] joint but shared responsiblities[/b] are carried out smoothly then the team (HOME) grows.... but then both MUST fall short at some point, there is where help comes. .... just to add this..... one thing that makes love grow in a home is the fact that a wife sees her husband HELPING where she feels she is falling short and the husband sees his wife helping where he is falling short. and I must commend you for being just the third person i am having a discussion with in Nairaland without leading to abuses. GRACIAS

I belong to the school of thought where there are no gender roles. A man and a woman who believe this too get married and do what needs to get done simple.

It has never been an issue for us, when chores need to get done they get done when bills need to be paid they get paid. A penis or vagina is not used to do any of those.

I understand those who want to stick to traditional roles though it is a choice but not the only way of running a home

Sophyrocks:
Hahahahahahaha. This part of your post made me laugh soooooo hard. I keep repeating this in this forum over and over. Women will always be architects of their own misfortune. My goodness! Nigerian women are doomed. I don't think a lot of them value their lives that much. Too bad. Such women can't be helped. They are best left in their miserable lives and their sobbing and nagging are best ignored.

Exactly, they deserve the idiotic men they put up with

He is silly. If he is not ready to be married he should ask for a divorce, it is stupid to ask your wife to leave back and forth up to 5 times.

He is not even ready to be married because he is listening to those claiming to be pastors who tell him what he wants to hear so he can blame her for his misfortune.

My only issue with her is why she keeps coming back to a clearly immature man.

Unfortunately they went to have a baby when they themselves are babies

PaChukwudi44:
stop exposing your naivety in public.The senate president cannot be removed by a vote of no confidence.What about the IGP that teh senate passed a vote of no confidence on did it stop him from continuing in ofice.Saraki,Ekweremadu and Dogara will remain in office until June 2019.That is a political fact.

He is just leaving BMC training school and eager to show off

drlateef:
The only court order not carried out by government is the Dasuki bail order. As stated by Festus Keyamo, the supreme court justices have stated that national security supercedes human rights of any individual. The government declined the order based on national security concerns. Saraki on the other hand adjourned plenary for selfish reasons. The court can reverse his order based on urgent national interest. By his action, Saraki is seeking to undermine the coming election with consequent implications for national security. The court can intervene to save democracy from being truncated by Saraki doe selfish reasons.

Hahahahaha, you must just be graduating from BMC training school

armyofone:
Linda,
Please make sure your husband is using condom or you go for birth control. Don't get pregnant again until you both are financially stable.
Taking care of yourself is highly important.
Having a child or children and no money is not a joke! So break that cycle!

This

Elder001:
The earlier you realize that most nairaland males are misogynists and they believe chores are for women, the best you can do is to ignore them.

Agreed

donb06:
Hope you read very well before attacking me?? ... anyways as for the cooking stuff i can, but not to take turns as if their is a time-table for it.... both parties have their Place of primary assignment... ladies in the home front and guys for the outside world... as a guy when my wife assists me financially i will definitely appreciate it not to make it look as if it is her duty becos thats my PPA... same thing goes around when i help her to carry out home chores it should be appreciated and never be taken for granted.. hope You truly understands this.... GODBLESS YOU

Every adult male or female is capable of cleanin and earning a living, there is no help in a home, it is both your house how you both run it is your joint responsibility not help

Mynd44:
I hope everyone knows this is a lie

What makes it a lie Mr Mod who ban everybody who opposes APC?

Sarakis and Ekweremadus house seige must also be a lie. Just admit you are hurt that all the anti democratic moves have been discovered and una plans failed massively, the stylish wailing from you and Ngene something is entertaining.

Bravo unfortunately lazy men and women cannot even read so the will not read what you wrote and hopefully learn.

When I got upset in a story where the " hero" does absolutely nothing to support a child he claims paternity of it was built men and women attacking me and calling me unfair.


The women themselves are mentally lazy, they just do what they are told will fulfill them stay in a small box then become miserable witches because they are unfulfilled and their aggression is transferred to house helps and other weaker people.

They cannot think beyond what they have been told to do.

They are adults who suspend their brains, sit, accept all sorts because they don't want to feed themselves. They stay with sperm donors who give them diseased preeks and tears then declare every other woman who decides not to follow blindly their path an unsatisfied woman because their own lives begins and ends with bad sex and zero self worth

[quote author=elmagnifico411
Hepost=69809871]. U mean to tell sey the right wey him dey fight so never do u? how much em wan give Amaka wey wan be like money to her? Make we sha dey enjoy the story dey go.[/quote]$

He is not giving Amaka he is doing it for his baby

frozen70:
When it's time for the struggle and claim of paternity
He will appear but now is not the time yet

Very sad mentality, so before the time to struggle and claim paternity the child should eat stones abi?

edoman2016:
Your husband and you are both jobless yet you get impregnated. If nairalanders help you to offset the hospital bill, how will you feed your new baby? I guess you will ask for financial assistance again to take care of the baby. It's high time people take responsibility for their actions and stop coming to nairaland to beg always.

Maybe he lost his job while she was pregnant, so many people are loosing jobs in this economy.

Babies usually are breastfed exclusively for 6 months, immunization is mostly free in Primary Health Care Centres, yes I agree that they should take responsibility for their actions especially as they waited for this last hour to be asking for help but everybody needs a helping hand from time to time.

Even those of us who have done planning still fall on hard times.

I hope this can be verified quick so she can get some help

elmagnifico411:
two key phrases here; take responsibilty' and having 'having unprotected sex'.

1, he would taken responsibilty if Amaka had allowed him. U could read clearly that Amaka only calls him over whenever she wants to fvck him, and he obliges cos it gives him the opportunity of seeing the baby.

2, he's not the only one having unprotected sex. The women are having and enjoying it too. Sodont let it seem like he's just one who loves having it that way. Have u ever tried skin-diving? There's not excitement like it, bro. Condom dey waste person precious fvcking time!

Besides, all these whites that discovered and brought HIV to Africa didn't tell u and us that they got it from the shii experience of dem sleeping with dogs and not humans. Now they have less of it and we have more here cos we're a developing nation. It's a conspiracy jare!

Like I said the women are adults and responsible for their stupidity.

Whenever Amaka calls and he goes he could as well go with pampers or wipes.

As for the rest of your retarded rant na you get your head.

He has energy to be fighting up and down even killing in some cases but he cannot fight for his right to his son.. I hear you

lynnfeb:
I just sent you a pm. Thank you . Let me forward it to your mail




quote author=Eketem post=69806327]Do you have any reciepts or anything from the hospital indicating the qbill?

That would help as those who may want to verify will be busy as today is sunday.

Ifyalways Please your attention is needed here. Help us confirm so people who want to can donate no matter how small

I don't remember the email address, Kindly block your name and post here beyond me other people may want to help if they see evidence

SifonAbasi:
Good afternoon my good people of Nairaland. Happy Sunday!

Yesterday after a dinner with my husband, I told him everything about me and my ex.
My husband asked me a lot of questions concerning my ex like "Where's he from? What's he into? How did we meet?" A lot of questions about him. I was very honest with him and told him everything. Even told him that he (my ex) disvirgined me.

After telling him everything, my husband response was "okay". I noticed his countenance changed.

He sat for few minutes in the sitting room then went to the bedroom and slept.

Normally we always pray before going to bed no matter how tired we are but yesterday my husband went to bed without praying and I was scared to ask him why he didn't pray.

Early this morning he was moody. He told me not to make breakfast that we will eat when we returned. He went into the restroom had his bathe then dresses up and I did same.

My husband face wasn't bright. We entered the car, he started it and we drove off.

While on the road we were both silent. All of a sudden he diverted from the church route to another route. I wanted asking him where we are heading to but I remained calmed.

Before I could know it, I saw him heading to my village road. I pee on myself. I asked him where we are heading to he told me not to worry.

I began begging him with tears in my eyes. He increases the volume of the car's radio just to distract me.

After 45mins drive, we arrived my village and he asked me to show him the guy's compound so I took him there.
We met the guy's mother, we greeted her then my husband told her everything I told him.

The old woman begged us to forgive her son. My husband collected the guy's number and called him in his mom's presence.
My husband was friendly on the phone. He thanked my ex for the help he rendered to me then told him to send his acct number that he will send him back his money.

My ex told my husband not to bother that he was just helping me as a friend.
That he is sorry, he thought I was joking when I told him I'm married.

My husband gave the phone to his mom and the old woman spoke with him (my ex) and warned him to stay away from me that I am a married woman.

My husband collected the phone and told my ex that for the help he offered me, he (my husband) is going to sponsor his wedding from start to finish whenever he (my ex) is ready to marry.

My husband also told him that his (my ex's) name will be on the police watchlist in case anything happens to his wife.

My ex was begging and promised never to hurt me.

We left their compound to my father's compound, greeted my mom and we headed back to the town.

On our way home, my husband was smiling all through and gave me the car to drive.

We branched an eatery to have our lunch and he bought me my favorite.

We just arrived home not quite long.

I like your husband, very wise man, emotionally intelligent no he said she said scenario I am glad this ended well.

Honesty pays. Don't beg anybody for money again ever.

Do you have any reciepts or anything from the hospital indicating the bill?

That would help as those who may want to verify will be busy as today is sunday.

Ifyalways Please your attention is needed here. Help us confirm so people who want to can donate no matter how small

lynnfeb:
Please , I haven't gotten any response yet.

I am sorry but as much as I understand your desperation this sounds entitled.

You had 9 months to prepare for a baby and sadly you and your spouse didn't.

You post online for help and you are not even patient waiting for verification so people can be convinced to help within a few hours you are already saying you have not seen any response.

Do you assume people have money kept aside for your baby's birth?

Do you not think we deserve some sort of verification and assurance that this is real before we start looking for where to get money to help?

Today is even Sunday, even if people want to help will you not even give the grace of tomorrow so those who may need to go to the bank can go?


I am sorry I am lashing out on you in your situation but the way you sounded is annoying. Baby didn't show up baby gave you notice yet you didn't plan adequately but now you want strangers to respond in a few hours to your cry for help. It is unfair.

Calm down first let this be verified then also be clear about the kind of help you need.

Is it medical bills? How much is it?

Is it baby clothes? Diapers etc? Is it feeding? Be clear about what you need so people can know how to actually hell when this has been verified

frozen70:
You guys failed to understand that, that pregnancy was planned alone by Amaka and Mike was not aware that Amaka needed him for child bearing

You people should stop blaming Mike for not taking up his responsibility over that child, what is happening to him is more than he can cope with.

When the time comes, even in a law court the DNA will favour him.

Lol Ignorance at best. It takes more than DNA to be a parent in this case he is aware of the existence of the child, he sees the child but apart from going to carry him once in a long while he has never seen reason to provide even a single wipe for the child. No court will favor him biko.

He doesn't have to take responsibility if he was not aware and doesn't want the child he can relinquish parental rights and be free to be having unprotected sex and fighting everywhere.

Biko you people should leave me alone and enjoy the story. I am only pointing out a part that doesn't sit well with me doesn't take from the entertainment value of the story.


Even the best writers get Critiques it is not a big deal even the best of the best invite people to review their work and critique

Benblaq:
Eketem happy sunday.. I pray you don't experience the kind of troubles that pal is going through.. You won't even have time for yourself talk more of thinking About your child who's comfortably healthy and living with his "MOM"

Trouble getting creates himself most times.

If he doesn't have time to be a father as you say then he should relinquish all rights to fatherhood and let a man who has less trouble and more time be a father. You cannot abandon parental responsibility to a mother and be having unprotected sex everywhere to bring in more babies that you will still be too troubled to father

Benblaq:
Ufan You seem to have been offended by Mike before oh.

This is the problem with Nigerians, if somebody doesn't join the praise singing parade they will accuse you of having a personal agenda. Smh.


This is a story people are reading and learning from and young men who have kids should also learn some responsibility comes with it instead of this once in a while pop up and carry


As much as the sexing around without condom is irritating me I realize the women are adults and can say no but the child is a responsibility and that is my issue. Treating the child like an accessory sends a message that kids are raised like that

frozen70:
Amaka is strictly keeping that child away from Mike,

Mind you, Mike doesn't go to Amaka's house unless on invitation

Amaka is so rich that she won't even want to accept anything from Mike for that child

Amaka haven't told Mike openly that the child belongs to him she only acknowledge that when Mike forces it on her

Mike haven't even found his foot talk more of fending for that child

Mike is not even bothered that he hasn't spend a dine for his son, for the fact that the DNA test proves that he is his son, thats all he needs.

This is no excuse he should do more. He can buy diapers and drop in the house regardless of how she feels it is his child. He uses the other women's influence to get out of trouble he can as well use their influence to see his son if his son is that important to him. I have not read for one day that he tried to buy the boy a gift and he took it there and she rejected it.

elmagnifico411:
Aunty/Oga, calm down nah. He wants to be responsible, but Amaka is shielding him off. Did u read all the episodes so far? Amaka isn't making it easy for him. If u were in his shoes, you wouldn't take the matter with a 'pinch of salt' too.

And as for him getting a job, remember he got one working for Phila's Father. But sha oh, the guy dey skin-dive like shiii.. seems hiv no dey exist again.

Zero actual efforts, he spends more time jumping around and banging than attempting any sort of care for the baby. Only shows up once in a while to play with the baby. A baby needs much more

donb06:
bros will u cook together, wash together, clean togehter, tend for the kids together..... I dont understand how my fellow guys reason nowadays.... Just imagine that one day you come back home tired and your wife tells you it is your turn to cook today... Yes the woman has to be industrious to[b] HELP[/b] the man... Bro the way you dont have to tell your wife to cook for you that's the way you dont have to be told to dole out the funds... just dont go out of ur budget...
Bro pray for God to bless your hustle and he will bless you AMEN.

You are an adult what is wrong with cooking and cleaning? Is it not your house? Is it not to the benefit of the family? The wife that returns home everyday and cooks nko? Is she not a human being?

iListen:
Ruth's stupidity is the saddest of them all...@bolded, we, unfortunately, don't live in an ideal society. I see this scenario play out every now and then.

They are adults they can choose to be stupid and make silly choices. My only issue is with a father not taking any sort of responsibility for his kids, it is not right especially as he feels some sort of entitlement to the boy

SifonAbasi:
The last time I saw him was early 2016.
I met my husband late 2016.

Ever since he turned to Nigeria I haven't seen him.
I was shocked when he called me this week to tell me he's back.

Then your fear has no basis

Benblaq:
I don't know your annoyance but let me just clear you.
1. The Amaka we know won't accept anything from Mike to their boy.
2. Mike wasn't straffing her to have a baby, she made him her s3x machine, therefore the upkeep of the lad should be her major duty (she is affluent)
3. Don't let this fatherhood duties and responsibilities mentality to overshadow your sense of humanity. Mike is not levelled for now.
4. iListen help me add this one mbok.

Let him try first, somebody I know had a difficult baby mama, he will go and drop diapers she will throw it away, he started going through social welfare she had no choice, when she wanted another man to legally adopt his child it was those reciepts that saved him from being declared an unfit father.


His fatherhood duties or lack of it is very very important, he can sleep around all he wants but kids are not props, they are a responsibility and deserve the best from both parents no matter how hard it is.

I cannot overlook this part sorry

SifonAbasi:
Thank you.

I am waiting for my husband to return home then I call the guy to speak with my husband.

If I tell my husband, he will want to speak with the guy. My fear is what the guy will tell him. He might lie to him or something.
I don't just know. I am confused. Or maybe I should tell my pastor's wife tomorrow to tell my husband then warned him against calling the guy. I'm just confused

You are not an honest person. Tell the truth let it set you free

SifonAbasi:
I am afraid the guy will tell my husband that I have been sleeping with him even while in marriage.
Thus make my husband thinks I've been cheating on him.

Why will you be afraid of this? Have you slept with him while dating your husband or when you got married to him?

Your story is not adding up. If you are not sleeping with him why will you be afraid he will say this?