₦airaland Forum

sisisioge:
Wow! She perfectly understands violence! Beat up her MIL because she messed up the house! Chai! Beating up her MIL at all is a taboo in Yoruba land! I know they aren't our people...sorry

I think the beating is justified. Let them break each other's head!

And the man now goes to jail leaving her out to keep beating mother in law.

She should have been the one going to jail

Timbuktuo:
We need to evolve our thinking in this country. Why would I put myself in a situation where I could be facing jail time? If only the man had controlled his emotions and had been rational he would know there are more drastic, longer-lasting ways to get back his pound of flesh. Oh, well.

And how people do not seem to understand this on this thread is amazing. To them the rational action is beat first.
Many times people will say they will kill anybody who sexually molests their children and I remind them that if they kill they will go to jail and their children will be at more risk of sexual abuse but they don't seem to think that far or somehow they believe they will not go to jail.
The jungle justice mentality needs to evolve

Timbuktuo:
Legally speaking, the husband is not justified in hitting his wife. No matter how tempting the idea of violence is, it should really only be used in self defence. The man was in no danger at the point he hit his wife. The heat-of-the-moment defence might not work in favor of the man now that he's been sued. Therefore, his best course of action would have been to sue his wife for battering his mother. Which we know was never going to happen, really. I'm sure the wife suing him came out of left field considering Nigerians aren't litigous.

Personally speaking, however, the marriage would be effectively over. We would separate and eventually divorce. You don't really come back from that, at least, I wouldn't be able to. Especially as there would be no sufficient redress as obvious violence from me would be ruled out. She would do well to constantly look over shoulder, though, accidents happen all the time.

Thank You, Most Nigerians were raised to use fists and zero brain. Their parents raised them to fight first and think later if they think at all, this comes from beating a child for every offence instead of talking or explaining sometimes. The solution to every hurt now seems like is the fist.

Like a bad joke someone I know went to jail, what happened? His sisters husband hit her, he went tied the man up and beat him seriously, people hailed him, the husband went to report to the police he was prosecuted, his defence of " he hit my sister first" didn't fly, the Judge said he should have reported the husband to the police not become a law unto himself

Vivianoasis:
I went not as a maid but a child whose relatives wanted to help keep up with her education due to some reasons at that point in time. I only spent four years there to achieve that so it wwasn't an issue to channel the blame to parents.

Your parents responsibility still. A child should be with their parents and if you need to go to school in another town the parents should assist with bills. A house help is paid employment, parents should stop sending their kids into modern day slavery

Ganjafama:
Bros leave matter for Martha. Any woman slaps my mother, I will return it seven fold and damn the consequences.

So don't complain when the wife who abused your mother ends up sending you to jail instead of her going to jail.

Acidosis:
Well if seeing ones mother with bruises, sore, cuts, etc, is not enough reason to provoke and push a son to a retaliatory attack, then something is definitely not right.

Funny thing is, it doesn't matter the level of decency, everyone has got a breaking point.

When you end up in jail who will now be protecting your mother?

Report and let the police prosecute so the real assaulter will pay for their crime

Acidosis:
Be realistic, this your recommendation is only good on paper.

You're a mother right? Would you be proud of a son that follows this recommendation?

I'm very sure you won't sit back and fold your hands if a stranger beats up your child. Reporting to the police won't be an immediate line of action.

Extremely proud shows I raised a thinking human being not a crude one.
He will ensure she is charged for assault and gather evidence to prove her guilty instead of falling into her gutter level

Respect55:
No body has a monopoly of reporting any issue to the police or suing another to court. The man can as well decide to sue her in another court altogether for battering his mum.
I dnt know how else to put it for u to understand. All I'm saying is that every mother desires to carry her grandchild. Tnk u

You cannot know what every mother in the world wants, just because people say these things doesn't mean every woman wants the same


If he had reported immediately he will have a case, he cannot go and claim she hit his mother now just because she reported her own abuse. He should have taken pictures of his mother's bruises and maybe a medical report and go and report. He has already taken the law into his hands he cannot go now and be seeking justice


Why am I even talking abeg go and report her

Respect55:
So the wife can't be charged with domestic abuse as well?
She abused her mother inlaw by beating up the woman. The man avenged.

Did I hear u say it is not the joy of all women to behold and feel their children's children?Pls buttress ur point.

Answer a fool in his folly lest he becomes wise in his own eyes. How can a wife beat her husband's mother?

You didn't read.

The man should have been the first to report instead of taking the law into his hands.

Right now only him will face trial because she is the only one who reported to the Police.

He has already taken the law into his hands and so the law cannot now be called to serve him.

Some women have their lives revolving around their kids and grandkids some do not. It is faulty to generalise
Society thinks a woman's life should revolve around these things but some women do not think this or want it

TourismMan:
No! We are not one and same please. I'm real and far from scam please.

kayzat:
The op and the scammer is one and the same

Hahahahaha chai Nairaland detective squad

For better for worse are not vows in the Bible.

Respect55:
The joy of every mother in Igbo is to carry her child's child. It comes with this feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment. Most mothers look up to it.
Are u kidding me, if u let her go u scattered to go to the police, even ur mum will be angry with u.

A wise shouldn't ever lay her hand on her mother in law. She deserve what she got

No Sir, revenge is not justice, the mother you said won't be happy if she reported to police but the mother was happy that the man hit his wife?

If the case is prosecuted I hope you know he will go to jail or pay a huge fine. The real issue of him hitting his wife won't matter.

If your wife hits your mother report her to the Police let her face the consequences of her actions.



The grandmother can come and carry her baby but not be the one who is solely responsible for child care and running errands.

Please don't say it is the joy of every woman, it is the joy of some women

Unfortunately we cannot build something right on something wrong.

The job of a help is a job paid employment like any other job should be for qualified adults with fair pay and work conditions.

People who want to help relatives should do so with no strings attached.

Women want young children they can bully and abuse who won't fight back. It is wrong and illegal to hire a child under the guise of helping.


That being stated I don't have to love my employee just give them favorable and fair conditions of service. And they should be fair to me too.

No it is not actually.

For years bad men and manipulating pastors have been using that Malachi 2.16 out of context to manipulate women into staying and tolerating their bad actions.

Unfortunately women have refused to read the Bible themselves. The funny thing is that if a woman does half of the things they do the same men chanting divorce is a sin will be the ones now saying the man should divorce her.


The Malachi 2.16 in the Bible if you read from verse 13 you will actually see that God was angry with cheating men and telling them why he doesn't answer their prayers.

In those days men would marry women and when they have a kid or two divorce them and marry brand new virgins and repeat the circle when the new wife has a kid or two or gets old. You know then men were major providers and the women then were left broke, broken and some resorted to prostitution that is why Jesus said the men who divorce their wives cause them to sin


God is actually more angry with cheating spouses who use and dump their spouses than he is with divorce
It is maltreating your spouse that is the sin not divorce



Malachi 2. 13-16

13 Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.

15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring.[d] So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.

16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,”[e] says the Lord Almighty.

So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful

We are ever so crude.

He should have reported her to the Police for assault instead of beating her up.


Let her be the one going to court everyday.


Back to the issue, let old women rest and not be dragged into slavery in the name of Omugwuo, let parents learn to care for their kids themselves.

The threat of ending a marriage isn't such a bad thing that women will be crying about these days, they have their own jobs and lives and in some cases even own houses not returning to their parents so most of them don't really care they simply move on


However anybody that introduces violence to a relationship male or female deserves to be alone till they can manage their anger

Gosh I want to throw up.

I blame Nigerian women who love to be victims if not I will not be reading the stupidity I am seeing here.

The man's ego it seems is more important than a roof over the head of his wife and kids so it is so easy to throw her out and she will beg like a beggar to return and be a submissive servant in a house she contributed to build.


Those saying the documents should be in the kids name all he needs to do if it is in the kids name is divorce her and take custody of the kids and she will be out cold.


You women continue to love being helpless so a woman who isn't frustrates their silly minds.

After wasting time I can bet she has given him the house and she will come back soon to cry when he has finally kicked her out.

CSTR1005:
I am sure no good man would be looking to punish his kids.

But events beyond his control would make his efficient fatherhood very stressful.

He would try his best, but it won't be enough.

Fathers are humans too. They are not super humans.

To give their best to the children, they need to be there in a loving relationship with the mother.

Parenthood is a responsibility not trial ans error. Kids don't ask to be born when you decide to have them you take responsibility for them for 18 years regardless of what you feel about another adult.


Please we need to stop littering the world with kids we won't take care of

Acidosis:
Until we know what she did, we really can't be too sure whether those words were ill conceived or not. We don't know their story.

True

CSTR1005:
There is no way he would be as efficient a father as a divorcee compared to when he was still married to their mother.

He would try his best, but I doubt it would be enough.

When he now inevitably remarries to another woman with her own children for him, his fatherhood becomes even more split.

That is the reality.

There is nothing wrong with either of them getting remarried if the marriage fails however, the kids should not suffer because two adults can not live together. Only a shitty father will punish his kids to spite their mother and kids are better off without such a father

Acidosis:
1. The whole idea behind the thread is not well thought out.

2. Both had issues, led to an argument and the husband told her to move out (What's the issue? we don't know).

3. Has she done anything that demands such words (out of anger)? We don't know.

4. But somehow we felt it's God at work, as a way of knowing who her husband really is. Same husband I'm sure must have contributed significantly to the building.

5. The husband already left the house, now working on his transfer. That tells a story: he's not jobless and can comfortably fend for himself. So how exactly would he have failed to contribute to that building?

6. Let's not even dig deeper as to how the business and ideas translated to wealth.

@OP, you wear the shoes please, so be very mindful of the actions you take today. Reflect on the whole drama. It doesn't matter whether you guys shared the profit equally o, do you consider him the alpha and omega of the business idea? I'm saying this because I know how some businesses work between two partners in love. Some men even pay their business partners (wife) for doing absolutely nothing.

He would have left her still only if the papers were not in her name left her homeless
I blame weak women, how many threads did the man open before he decided to kick her out or leave her

CSTR1005:
Alright then.

At least she has a house to sell or lease to take care of her children and then hope some man somewhere finds her interesting enough to come in and play the role of a father for her children and a companion.

By then, the husband would have moved on, rent a new house, find a new woman he trusts to respect him and build a family with him.

Win -win.

So if you divorce your wife you divorce the kids along with the wife wowwwww the things we learn on Nairaland. Lol

CSTR1005:
It seems you have not been listening to the woman.
She said she cannot take care of three children alone.

This hard ball you are advising her to take is something that she will not cope with the consequences.

Wetin concern me, she can't take care of 3 kids alone at least she has a house let her join being homeless and taking care of 3 kids.

I have no words for weak women who stick to weakness even when God has shown them signs clearly

Martinez19:
lol. Don't mind the op. Hopes she listens to our advice.

Unfortunately she won't listen from experience with these issues.

She will go and tell a pastor who will convince her to submit the papers and her husband will promise to change, in a few months she will be back crying that he has kicked her out.

Leave these women they will be praying and disturbing God when God has rescued them from bondage already.

HEseesall:
You dont understand, we have kids, i am working but i cant do everything on my own, how will i tell them we are no more together because of property

Same way he would have told them if you built the house in his name and he kicked you out as planned


Madam I have no more advice if you like go and dash him the house when he kicks you out come and throw a pity party. I don't understand Nigerian women and their desperation. He would have kicked you out without a second thought and you are acting like he is a real husband instead of doing thanksgiving

I am confused as to why you are begging him.

You both got paid from a business
He used his own share for his parents, you used your own to build a house now he got angry and decided to kick you out of your own house, you told him it wasn't possible.

He gets angry and moves out
Let him stay out, he is a wicked man that would have been happy to see you out on the streets with your kids begging him up and down.

I don't understand why you are now begging him.

I don't know why Nigerian women are so desperate to keep wicked men

Duchaello:
I stay in Ikorodu and it is not free here,it is even costly than some private hospital

Duchaello:
I stay in Ikorodu and it is not free here,it is even costly than some private hospital

Primary Health Care centres not General Hospitals.

When you know the se-x I may be able to send some things

Where do you live?

Antenatal is free is primary health care centers go and register or government hospitals and pay a small token.

Unfortunately society decides that mothers are perfect little gods and if you are unfortunate to have a mother with issues who treats you like crap they refuse to believe you and insist you should tolerate and manage her like they tell women to manage abusive relationships.

There is a dangerous level of freedom that comes from not caring about what people say or think.

If your mother makes you miserable cut her out of your life this is also regarding every other toxic relationship, you came to this life alone don't let anybody make you miserable because you have a biological relationship with them.


I was in your shoes I cut mine off, I went through worse pepper in my vagi-na, hitting me with bottle all sorts of curses and she was very angry when I made a good class of degree despite her curses she was telling people I must have slept my way. When I started looking for jobs and struggling after school, selling snacks, doing 5000 jobs etc she was telling people that I must be sleeping around in Abuja, when I finally started becoming succesful she was still bad mouthing me, when I met my husband she was still running him down saying he is a broke man and I will be feeding him, I warned her sternly and cut her off the wedding planning I only saw her on the wedding day which she planned to even make bad for me by dressing up in bad clothes and appearing like a househelp unfortunately for her my husband was from an extremely rich family just very humble the wedding was very big and she was now ashamed of herself then she now started trying to claim it was her prayers for me that worked somebody who only cursed me and said bad things about me.
When I was pregnant she started making moves to come I refused totally I knew how to take care of babies after staying with my sister so I didn't need her, I didn't want any toxic situation in my house.

Now she is the one trying to build a relationship, she first didn't want to admit how nasty she treated me but I told her unless she admits and apologises we will have no relationship. It is now she is starting to accept the level of hurt she hurt me and I am slowly trying to forgive and let go though I cannot have a close relationship with her my trust is gone. Once I told her I had vaginal discharge next she is telling everybody I had STD when I was still a virgin so it is hard for me to ever trust her

KanwuliaExtra:
What an unlucky woman!
With 2 divorced wives.

3 divorces actually

Ugosample:
running a business is like going to war in Nigeria

people say it like it's just a walk in the park

Exactly, 6 or 7 different taxes from agencies that do nothing for you ohhhhhhh.

You will pay for security if not you will be robbed only your shop will be robbed and you can't report to police just waste of money

Did she not attend Antenatal?


Water broke baby will soon be in distress, she will be monitored and hopefully have a vaginal birth but if it isn't possible be prepared for CS

People saying " start a business " here have obviously not been running business in Nigeria. People that borrowed to start farming and get murdered by herdsmen nko? Their lands burned. A colleague that lost his banking job started farming and was recently murdered by herdsmen let us not talk about crazy taxes here and you have to provide everything yourself. Light water security everything.

Stop talking as if running a business here is beans