₦airaland Forum

[quote author=chicbenita post=30302189][/quote]• Laughing excessively
.. . "I was talking
to a lady and she laughed so loud that she
didn’t know when she polluted"

*Holds laugh* Faints"

Advertico:
after serving God and naija for one fruitful year, i can boldly say to you that NYSC is not a waste of time. May be it is to you bt not to me.

What did you gain?

bossminded:
Abeg carry ur drama comot frm here....

Gbam !

ba7man:
You've been saying this for the past 4yrs.

Lol

Nysc be like waste of time. .. After it some peeps out there still looking for Job !!

Lautechgossip:
Source: [url]pulse.ng/gist/father-of-many-nations-nigerian-man-with-58-wives-300-children-wants-more-kids-id3447078.html[/url]

Dis man, make he no form another state join Nigeria. Lols

Delivery Man

.


Let me not write too much comment . .. B4 Nigerians blast me

.

[quote author=Dekatron post=30152580][/quote]Op you forgot the

Introverts: They always stay at the extreme end of d class, talking to no one*

Gbeboru: the'd always want to feel among they are everywhere its happening just to eavesdrop . ..

Observers/critics: you'd see em in groups discussing and doing lookulooku, "like vultures"

Deejavuu:
Aawwww cute baby

Borrow me for 2weeks

Pesin pikin, for 2weeks

MuguliciousMUGU:
7) money
if the guy does not have money the lady would be so shy, arrogant, fear of rejection, fear of being riducled and respected to approach you. She will combine all those your 6 reasons together.

Don't try the ladies...

brito:
How?

Shoo! Is it not wen you have money, dat SOME ladies (becos there are still some with dignity) will throw demselves at u, and step on each other just to get to u. .. Or are you from Mars!

And why in d world would she want to be arrogant to u wen uv got an ATM in ur bedroom*

When knife cuts him. .. Lol

femijck:
Mine is number 4......

Just thinking back those days were actually the best, now it's all complicated"

If you can understand what it takes to become a
better man, you’d surely understand what
women want in a perfect man.
But for starters, here is a list of simple things that
can make your woman feel like she’s hit the
jackpot on you.

1*A guy who knows what he wants
Women like a man who has found a purpose to
his life. If you’re wondering what women want
from men in a relationship, you really need to
think about your own focus in life. Do you see
where you’re heading and what you wish to do a
few years down the lane? Be determined and
ambitious, and your woman will share your dream
and help you climb the mountains in your path.

2*Women want a good listener
The art of listening is one of the delicate strings
that hold a relationship together. When you don’t
listen to your partner, both of you may end up
straying or confiding to a total stranger. Be a good listener because that's the key to good communication in any successful
relationship.

3*Women want a naughty guy
It
doesn’t matter if it’s a naughty bedroom trick or
a witty humorous prank. Women love seeing a
fun side in a serious guy. It keeps the child in you
alive, and it’ll definitely make her more excited to
be with you.

4*A charmer who can make her laugh
Girls love a guy with a sense of humor. You don’t
have to be a clown to impress your girl, but you
do need to look at the happy side of everything
now and then.
A serious boyfriend may be great
for family planning in the future but a fun guy is
perfect all year around.

5*A man who makes her feel lucky
Women want a man who can look good and dress
well. Be the man your woman will be happy to
show off to her friends and other guys who try to
hit on her.
When her friends envy her or
comment on how charming you are, your woman
can’t help but blush and realize how lucky she is
to be with you.

6*Women like being envied
If you can make your girlfriend or wife feel better
than the other women around her, she’ll be
grateful and will fall more in love with you. every
day.

7*A man she can depend on
If your woman asks you for a favor, do you try
your best to perform the favor to the best of your abilities? Most men don’t. They just find it easier to do a bad job so they can be excused from future errands. Don’t be that guy.
Be the man your woman can depend on. Learn to be trustworthy and dependable, it’s the easiest way to eliminate fear and helpless frustrations in romance.

8*A man who’s loved by her family and friends
When you date a woman on a long term, her
friends start to become your friends. And the
same goes with family too. Do you take the effort
to make her friends and family like you? Women
want a man who can not only get along with her
friends, but someone who can help her friends
have a great time when he’s around.

emmyrichie:
Nawa 4 that 3rd pic though. what if she come mess/fart whilst the dude's head was lying there?

D guy go just melt !!

axortedbabe:
Poo tank is nw an asset..

Lol

IMPORTANT MESSAGE:2015 ELECTION IS JUST FEW DAYS TO GO AND THERE ARE FIGHTS EVERYWHERE, KILLINGS OF INNOCENT PEOPLE, KIDNAPPING ETC. HERE ARE SOME TIPS THAT CAN GUIDE YOU

1)DONT KEEP LATE NIGHTS

2)MAKE SURE YOU TELL YOUR FAMILY EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO

3)ANYWHERE YOU ARE BE AT ALERT

4)PICK EVERY CALL BECAUSE THE PERSON MIGHT WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE

5)EAT OR DRINK ONLY AT TRUSTED PEOPLES HOUSE

6)PRAY BEFORE YOU ENTER A BUS AND BE SENSITIVE EVEN WHEN IN IT

7)DONT B A POLITICAL
THUG

ONCE YOU SENSE FIGHT IS ABOUT TO START,PICK YOUR THINGS AND RUN

9)DONT GET INVOLVED IN STUDENT PROTEST(AT LEAST FOR NOW

10)NIGHT PARTIES ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS FOR NOW.

PASS THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYBODY EVEN YOUR FRIENDS THAT U DNT TALK TO AGAIN BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT LIFE AND DEATH,

Happy Weekend. Have Fun!

Lemme just go and close my Badoo account Kia kia"

Great list. ..

Games aint time-wasters,
I love games in general puzzles whatnot, esp video games, they help you think*
Games are for relaxation unless u don't know how to plan ur time,
Then ud be d time waster"

#1 She avoids being seen with you so people
don’t get the wrong idea.


#2 She talks about her hookups. Possibly the
worst part of being in the Friend Zone, is having
to hear all about the other men she is totally
digging, while you are not one of them.


#3 Three’s not a crowd.
If you invite her
somewhere, or anywhere that is remotely
private, and she brings along a friend and somehow it ends up turning into a group event.
*This is just another tactic women use to say “Sorry, I’m not interested”
If this
happens once, maybe it is a coincidence, if it
happens again then there is no doubt where you
stand
.


#4 She’s drunk, and still no signs!
You finally
got her to the bar, you have her alone in public
*just the 2 of you* and after a few drinks she still
wants nothing to do with you! No slip ups about
how crazy it would be if both of you started
dating. No inching closer as the drinks flow to get
closer into your arms. Not looking good, man, not
looking good at all!
Your own as Finished better find an Escape route"


#5 There is no physical contact between the
two of you.
A hug does not count here, what are
we, 12?!
If you hug each other every time you
see one another, you cannot realistically believe
she is interested. I’m just moving on to the next
point, I hope you get the hint.


#6 She’s so casual.
You can tell that she isn’t
making any attempt with her appearance to impress you when
you see her.

Again, not looking too promising here, friend.


#7 You watch a whole movie! The worst
thing that can happen when watching a movie
, her
placing her head on your shoulder.
"That move
just SCREAMS Friend Zone!!
No!! it's not a good sign"

If you try to hold her hands
Any movement away from you should let you
know what's up.


#8 Brother from another mother?
As stated
in an example above, being referred to as a
“bestie” is a terrible situation for you to be in. But
being referred to as “the brother she never had”
your screwed it's even worse, because who in their right mind
would ever think about a “family member” in a
dating scenario?



#9 Shopping time. Does she ask you to go
shopping with her on a regular basis?

Now let me
clarify, if you’re being invited to do some "lingerie
" shopping, this may be a great opportunity for
you.

But shoe shopping, handbag shopping,
carrying her purchases through the mall while
following her around like a puppy dog, that is
where things start to look grim.


#10 She needs your advice. She asks for tips
on what guys are looking for in a woman. She
isn’t asking that to woo you, I can promise you
that. She clearly has her eyes on another guy,
and is wondering how to make him notice her.
But if you want to keep telling yourself she’s
talking about you, go ahead, whatever helps you
sleep at night!


#11 Sharing a bed. You have shared a bed with
this person and yet, did not take part in any type
of physical activity. You finally get her alone in
your room and she is “too tired” or “so exhausted
from the long day” and wants to head right to
bed. If you are bold, try and initiate something
once both of you get into bed, but you are mostly
likely looking at a much more direct rejection
taking place within the next few seconds!


#12 She tries to set you up with her friends.
If she is constantly tell you how perfect you are
for this friend or that friend, what she really is
trying to say is you are not perfect for HER!


#13 You always end up doing favors for her.
You remember the last time you covered for her
during work? Traded shifts? Helped her study for
her final exam at the expense of your own
studying? Giving her rides from place to place
without being invited to these places. Wake up,
man, wake up!


#14 You’re her shoulder. The worst way to
realize you are most definitely in the Friend Zone
is when you end up consoling her each time she
has a breakup. Right after every breakup, who is
the person she comes crying to? The person who
she wants to sit on a couch with, share a gallon
bucket of ice cream while crying the whole time
wondering where things went wrong?

Hope I've been able to open up your Eyes tho*

simplemach:
Mine was using me until i came to my senses. Now i thank God i am free.

Alleluya !!
I thank God for you ooo"

Just Trying to help em' bros out there"

Is she using you?
So what do you do about it now that you know
she’s using you?
You have two options.
Walk out of her relationship drama before you get
hurt.

Is she using you? – The signs

It’s frustrating to realize that you’re being used,
even when you’re trying to be a great boyfriend
or a sex buddy.
She may try to convince you that she truly loves
you and wants to be with you, but five minutes
later, her behaviour changes*


Read the signs"

#1 She wants her space… a lot!
Are you dating a girl who clings to you for a few
days, and then completely ignores you for the
next few days? While playing hard to get may
excite a guy, this is pushing the game too far.
Every time she ignores you or pushes you away,
you may find yourself falling more madly in love
with her. On the other hand, she’s probably
interested in a few other guys or sleeping with
them, just to work out her options. When a girl
claims to love a guy, and yet avoids the guy
completely for a few days every now and then,
there’s a good chance there’s another guy in her
life.

#2 Behaves like a friend
Does your new girlfriend behave like a friend now
and then? She hugs you and cuddles you, and
then pushes you away and tells you it’s all
happening too fast and she’s not ready for it?

Ouch!!
any girl who behaves like a girlfriend but
prefers to stay friends is obviously using your love
and affection to feel better about herself.

#3 Her friends don’t know you
When a girl uses you, there’s a good chance
you’re never going to meet any of her friends. But
if you both do bump into a good friend of hers,
does her friend even realize who you are?
And if you see her with a group of her friends and
not one person recognizes your name, you’re in
serious SERIOUS" trouble. .. So welcome to the game of
I’ll-
suck-the-life-outta-you. Hehehe

#4 You’re not introduced as a boyfriend
This is a no brainer here. But it’s something most
guys in love almost always forgive and forget.
Have you ever been introduced as just a friend? If
she’s convinced that you’re the man in her life,
she’d proudly display you like a primped up
puppy in a dog show. But if she’s just using you,
there’s a very good chance that you relationship
status will remain as friends, sorry!

#5 She’s confused about your relationship
status
Now she may be genuinely confused about the
kind of relationship both of you share, especially if
she’s just broken up with her guy or is still in a
relationship with some other guy. But the point is
she’s confused.
If she truly does love you, there’s nothing to be
confused about unless she’s still in love with
another guy. If that’s the case, you’re not the
winner here. You’re the "SCAPEGOAT" filling up the
blanks when her boyfriend or another guy doesn’t
have the time for her.

#6 She talks about her complicated love life
Do you spend more time consoling her or telling
her how the mistakes in her life aren’t really her
fault? Girls who end up using guys are confused
women who want to be reassured and loved all
the time. She may be losing the love of her own
guy, and may want you to reassure her about her
own relationship and fill her life with happiness
and extravagant gifts.
And yes, she wouldn’t mind cuddling up with you
once in a while for all the nice things you’ve been
doing for her. This is seriously messed up! Its a SETUP"

#7 She makes out but only when she wants
to
You may sweet talk her and take her out to
expensive dinners, all in the hope of getting some
love and appreciation back from her. And of
course, a little bit of making out too.
But if you’re in love with a girl who’s using you,
nothing really matters. She’d let you dance on
hot coals almost all the time and make out with
you only when she feels like it. She initiates it and
she ends it, at her whims.
Her excuse:
I’m still confused about my feelings
for you

#8 She dominates the relationship
Does she call you up whenever she feels like it, or
asks you to meet her at her whims and fancies? A
girl who throws her weight around a guy knows
she’s already got him wrapped around her little
finger. Don’t ever be that guy. You’d end up
shattered almost all the time and you’d lose all
the confidence you have.
Turn the table around and throw her around a
bit. Two things can happen here. She’d take you
more seriously, or she’s walk out of your life.
Either ways, it’s a good thing for you.

#9 She wants you to listen, but not the
other way around
Are you in love with a girl who loves talking about
her own life and her little problems? Does she tell
you about how bad her ex boyfriend was and why
she had to cheat on him just to show him she has
other options? Or does she confess to you about
making out with a few other guys and wants you
to tell her she’s not wrong and that she did the
right thing?
And on the other hand, every time you try telling
something to her, does she forget all about it or
feign drowsiness?
A girl who only wants to talk and feel good about
herself isn’t in love with you. She’s using you as a
priest to feel good about her own shortcomings. If
she did love you, she’d be more interested to
know about you and your life than whining about
her own guilty confessions.

#10 She’s in another relationship
Almost always, relationships where the guy is
being used starts off with conversations about
complicated love lives. The girl you like may
already be in a relationship, and with each
conversation you have, both of you may fall more
in love with each other. She wants to go out with
you, she loves to talk to you, and she can’t wait
to spend time and make out with you.
But she doesn’t want to leave her own boyfriend
or end her relationship with him. She tells you
she’s not happy, but she doesn’t do a thing
about it.

If you find yourself experiencing any of these
signs, you’re being used, you better walk out
of the confusing affair before you end up with a
broken heart. After all, she’s probably got a few
backups with whom she’s playing the same game
anyways.
She may not do this intentionally just to hurt you,
it’s just that she’s a selfish little cutie who cares
more about her own happiness than anything
else in the world.

Nneka123:
yeah i see that. what does it mean in a relationship?

It means you should pack ur load and leave the "field" and you will not be allowed to play "ball" again for probably two seasons'

Better go and beg her*

zaragal:
God bless u adeniyi, dis is exactly wat I was trying to communicate and some cowards guys got it all wrong!! Dey said beating d lady is the best way to correct bullshit, let's take for example u re living with their mate a man like dem and he get u as hell mad as a woman would, ll dey beat him up??, it's jst dis conscious superiority dey re dwelling on, we re stronger?? Nobody said we re weak??, we re jst less stronger dan man on the physical, we re the head?? No body ever said we re tail? As a matter of fact we re the neck without us the head itself cannot stand, we re to be submissive?? God gavp us dat commanded because he knws we re already a creature of love so to make it all perfect he ask us to humble ourselves, now God ask u to love ur wife, does loving ur wife involve beating her to correct her?? Ur WIFE not ur kid God didn't ask u to scold ur wife he ask u to love ur wife and scold ur children!! I repeat u cn have a woman beat herself up without physical abuses..

Dislike wife Beating' Its unethical. .. That reminds me of a story where a man kept beating up his wife tho*
She had to go gather some self defence skillz, and the next time the man got drunk and tried laying hands on her. .. He woke up on hospital bed all bruised and wondering what happened" lol

dechandel:
Odiegwu..
Beat me and see fire.. Its either Jesus allows you in or devil adopts you

Easy Tigress"
So u don't get labeled as "ManBeater"

seangy4konji:
Beating a woman is barbaric but one slap to put their dirty mouth in place is good. Always a reminder that u don deh over step.

Ps. No quote me oo if me and u not get business as I not mention r name here oo. Na wetin me think I talk.

I get ur point"
But wat if the lady is very stubborn and that one slap becomes two, three. ..
I think if one can avoid it totally better"

Men who have to beat up ladies to make a point . .. I see as "weaklings"

"Real men" can just talk and strike fear in people generally not just women"

rubey:
The day a guy tries to lay his hands on me, it ends that very second he makes an attempt. Infact a guy who shouts at women is more likely to be a wife beater and there are lots of them here on nairaland

Well said"

SeanTizzle and Lil'Wayne tho*

Bullion Vans Should be Black"

But hope there's some stash
in this one tho*