₦airaland Forum

FREEDOMFRO, RUN from this Thread and dont look back, you will get the nastiest comments that will get you all flabbergasted, You will also see tribalism, stereotypes and hasty conclusions in its highest forms like the post before mine,

Am not saying your relationship will be all rosy, every relationship is a risk, so is marriage. There are no guarantees. you can only reduce the odds,  enjoy your relationship and involve God in it if you are a believer and dont pay too much attention to the negative comments people make on this forum,

@FREEDOMFRO congratulations to you and take things slow and let God guide you in all you do.

P.S: I 100% agree with Kokoye
I couldnt have said it better, coming from a Nigerian woman,

kokoye:
Please dont discuss this guy (or relationships) on this forum . . . people (haters) will get you confused.

my candid advice

goodluck once more.

Perryfini:
For some time, I want to ask this question before this lady raised question, and I have been following the trend of responses.

I found myself in this situation because my girlfriend of over 1 year had made it compulsory I must give her money every month. She claimed the money is for her monthly up-keep and bla bla bla. Although she didn’t make that some certain percent of my salary would be given to her, but it’s compulsory I must give her money at the end of each month.

She cultivated this attitude / behaviour immediately our relationship climaxed to the next level. She works in the bank when we initially met, but now she is into buying and selling of ladies products. I believe she makes more money compare to the time she works in the bank as I can see the changes, but she wont let go of this un-cultured attitude of collecting money from me.

To be sincere, I don’t know why she makes it compulsory I must give her money at each month while we have not married. Please can someone address this issue properly because I am really tired of this non-productive allowance I have been paying to this lady?

Na wa o that na serious something, shey she no get shame ni to be asking for monthly "salary" from her boyfriend, I mean I dont even think its right for your wife to demand for a monthly allowance from her husband let alone boyfriend and girlfriend, It just sounds weird to me. Is she with you for your money or waht?But i guess all girls are different, How would a lady who has a job and something else on the side that brings her income and still be requesting that her bf give her a monthly allowance, thats just pure greed IMO

I believe in equal sharing of resources. My relationship with my bf isnt based on the love of money but on love and mutual understanding. We are both working and earning our salaries so we both equally share our resources with each other. When he is broke i help him out and when i am broke he helps me out. We buy each other gifts and I even buy more gifts than he does. We pay for our groceries together and I cook our meals. That has made our realtionship easier. Money is the least of our problems and we are both strict managers of funds. I guess  its cos we are both so simple.He has never just randomly given me money cos he knows am one who strongly believes in EQUAL SHARING (btw man and woman) and effective management of resources.

Hello Dr Kathy,

I am a 24 year old girl, unmarried and weigh 120lb. I dont know if this is an issue but I have a very regular cycle and I am kind of bothered that every period of mine lasts for about 6 days while a lot of other females have theirs lasting for just 3 days. I dont use any pills, I am still a virgin and I am relatively healthy. Also, I have never visited an Ob/Gyn. Is the 6 day period I have normal?

@cappadona123 University of Florida does not reuire TOEFL for thier Masters degree. They have a list of countries exempted from taking TOEFL and Uni of Florida is one of them. There are also some schools in Texas that dont need your TOEFL

DV-2012 Lottery Starts Soon!

The DV-2012 Lottery begins at Noon EDT on October 5, 2010, and ends at Noon EST on November 3, 2010.

Information and instructions for the DV-2012 lottery are available on the Travel.State.Gov website. Use the link below to view the instructions:

http://www.dvlottery.state.gov/

Its FREE to apply so let no one trick u into paying and monitoring your application.

SPARTACUS Now Spartacus (Andy Whitfield)is the best character on TV, There is none like him.

GREYS ANATOMY

Keeping Up with the Kardashians

PROJECT RUNWAY

As for Naija shows, hmmm

@Angelz, your husband is a true man of Character, he knows whats best for his family so he definitely did the right thing, I mean we women tend to attach emotions to everything but a man is in better control of his emotions and I guess thats part of why why God put them as head,

I have witnessed the damage extended and distant family cause on a couple especially a newly wed couple, It hurts to have to say no to them but in the end you will be thankful,

Wow, I just read all 16 pages and had a variety of emotions run through me cos it just made me realize I was never alone, My dad never touched me cos he never believed in hitting a woman but my mum beat me wella.

Truth is am not as close to my mum as I want to be but someone said something to me. You alone can decide how you want to relate to your parents no matter how bad you were disciplined.

I would admit that who I am today is partly a result of the discipline I received from my folks most especially my mum, Yes in the process our relationship sort of disintegrated and she is trying to get us to chat like best friends and I am so resistant to that, She gets me to say i love you but I am also resistant to that cos we dint grow up saying I love you so why now,

Well the point I want to make is this. I will most definitely give my kids some good spanking when they mess up (definitely not in an abusive way). But I will make sure I also let them know how much I love them and hug and kiss them crazy and give them reasons why I spank them and not just leave them feeling hurt. That is what I will change about my mum and dad's parenting. They will beat you and not explain why they do what they do and just leave u hanging without hugging and showing affection after wards, Till date am scared of having a female child cos I don't want to end up having a shallow relationship with her where she doesn't tell me anything but as i said If I ever get a female child from day 1, she will know that I lovee her with everything and I will always make that VERBAL before it gets late,

Hmmm, I grew up nuclear, My dad is very nuclear and my mum is nuclear kind of but not as nuclear as my dad, In my opinion my NUCLEAR family is numero UNO and I am in total support of your husband, After my nuclear family then my two wonderful brothers and my one and only sister, now every other distant relation can find their square root cos once they start getting involved in a marriage, things rarely go well, So protect your family against unnecessary third party, even with distant relatives u can never tell who is who,

See as people don turn facebook into their reality, better be careful how u use social networking sites and don't go on putting personal information about your life, u don't know who is who, i wonder why everyone must display their relationship status for the world to see, if any other man wants to toast you they will still toast you whether or not u have your relationship status as married with 10 children,

please i also need the maggic cook e-book. my email addy is aao08b@acu.edu pleasssssseeeeeeeeeeeeee

no u gave up too soon by saying i should back off, so u got intimidated,

but why should they not be accepted? The UK is a free society just as the US is and not everyone supports that a union should be solely man and woman, most people who support the union btw male and female are supporting it based on their religious backgrounds, only conservative societies like ours can choose not to accept such unions

^^^na u sabi, u seemed to have enjoyed my challenge and i enjoyed challenging u,

my main issue is the fact that he is a Nigerian, I mean c'mon, and he is freaking 25, he is after something cos nigerian men are usually not gay, i mean at least majority of them dont do crap like that

^^^is that what you doehyah
na u dey follow me, no be me dey follow u, i don pass my comment since tete na u carry am forward like accountant, and as a stubborn person i dont let go easily, so na u put urself for corner,

@honeric sorry to disappoint u, but am a woman and married with two kids,

@honeric Thats why people like u fail Jamb, I do not nor does anyone here have the rigth to condemn anyone because we are all not saints, Hate the sin but f=dont hate the sinner, if u cant take it then dont dish it, my opinion remains my opinion and if u cant deal with it, as i said earlier jump into the ocean, when i initially made my comment i dint send it to u but guilty conscience made u respond to me so why u come dey cry, so u back off and leave me to make my comments, NONSENSE!!!!*hissing like a woman*

@honeric, u no try, i never said homosexuals should be allowed free reign in society and if u opened ur eyes and read clearly, i said i will never accept homosexuality neither will i accept fornication, i still hold my opinion, call a spade a spade, fornication and homosexuality are on the same level end of story, so if ur goign to condemn their act, please condemn ur act of fornication too and figure out how to put a stop to people fornicating anyhow in society, and that goes for stealing murder and etc, dont put the different sins on different levels acting like homosexuality is a greater evil than fornication, Shio

@Honeric, I do not support and will never support homosexuality, neither do i support fornication or adultery or people getting drunk, and the point am trying to make is they are all in the same category, YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT FROM THE HOMOSEXUAL IF YOU FORNICATE take it or leave it, the only difference is your doing a woman while he is doing a man, I am not stopping you from talking about it but make sure u know U ARE NO DIFFERENT IF YOU FORNICATE and you cant change my opinion, neither am i trying to change yours, am just airing my views which u clearly dont have to accept, mschewww

And besides everyone is free to talk about the issue, and my opinion on the issue is as much as i dont support the act, i dont support calling them demons or satan rejects or whatever names people are choosing to call them cos if you choose to call them names then i might as well call every fornicator a demon because fornication and homosexuality are in the same category, If you cant deal with my opinion go and jump into the river,

babylishus:
For all those busy spouting 'tradition' as the ultimate bar of success or failure- may I remind you that we are part of the Third World for a reason? Where exactly have some of our 'traditions' gotten us?

Its amazing how some of the people who quote Bible verses quickly run back to old 'traditions' for validation. There is nowhere in the Bible (as applicable to Christians please- I cannot speak for followers of other religions) where having children is a do or die part of marriage. Certainly I believe children SHOULD be brought into the world only in the context of the marital relationship but they are not the sole reason for marriage. Marriage and parenthood have, in many ways, been twisted to suit the needs of those who want it.

"Man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife" it says. As far as I know it doesn't say 'Man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and they shall beget offspring". Children are certainly an added blessing to marriage but the relationship itself was ordained by GOD first before parenthood ever came to the picture.

So, if you get married and your wife cannot give birth? You go knock up a girlfriend and kick the wife out, huh? Your hubby cant get you pregnant so you hook up with some guy at a bar in the hopes of procreating? Is that it?

I'm not discounting the desire for kids as part of the desire to get married (I agree with many on that issue) but it shouldnt be the ULTIMATE thing or else you may have kids and the marriage would still crumble.

I COULD NOT HAVE SAID IT BETTER, YOU ARE AWESOME FOR WHAT U JUST POSTED, THANK YOU

@honeric, Stop yourself first before you stop other people, remove the speck from your own eyes before u remove the log in ur brother's eyesif ur not genuinely trying to make a change in ur life, dont condemn the actions of someone else yet, sort out ur life and issues first then u will be able to see clearly to sort out ur brother's issues,

@honeric1, Good for you if you dont fall in any of the category but still take heed lest you fall, All am saying is 90% of the people commenting are probably guilty and are here condemning,

For those who are outrightly disguseted with their attitudes, I think you should all take a step back and pause, All of you who say they are demons and deserve to be hanged and so on and so forth are getting you backing from scripture, Before you all throw stones, check your selves,

I Cor 6:9-10 says "Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.

So my point is, if you fall into any of these categories in bold above, you are as GUILTY as the homosexual, remove the speck in your own eye before condemning someone else,

I am only been braod minded and choosing to stop and think before condemning the actions of others,

Marriage i=should not be solely based on having kids, What if the couples never have kids for one reason on the other, will the man divorce the woman and vice-versa, as important as kids are, a man and woman should find other reasons why they choose to come together to marry, God is the one who gives kids and if for some reason, you are not given kids, you should still be able to stick with each other,

For me love comes first, companionship and then both combined to gether will bring in the kids in God's time, Cos as important as kids are, i ahve noticed that in Africa, women tend to devote too much attention to her kids and neglect her husband and a lot of women have not learnt to balcne both and then the spice in the relationship levaes becuase your focus is divided and then trouble starts btw man and woman, So I willa dvocate for couples trying to spend more time together as a "married couple" before popping kids because when the kids come,t hings will cahnge and the things u normally loved to do together might not happen so easily anymore, Also think about when your kids get older and levae your house, what will you and ur hubby doIf your marriage was based on friendship love and companinonship, you guys will be able to fall back to that when ur kids eventually leave to pursue their dreams but if u married just to have kids then, hmmmm

no1madman:
because they r crack heads
Too much baby mama issues
They don't save. . .spend all their money on clothes, haircuts, strip clubs and ashi.
D list is endless. . . .make i go sniff my snuff.

and i dont date Nigerian men because they are corrupt, scammers, 419ers, polygamous and big time cheats,

Well its true that a good number of black-American guys dont understand the values and morals of Nigerians but I will say matter-of-fact that not all of them are that way, Am a nigerian and majority of my male friends are black-american guys and guess what, they all share the same values and morals and upbringing i share, They are all respectful and have good manners and come from good homes and you know why, its because they are devoted Christians and they did not let the stereotypes people have against black-american guys limit thier achievements in life, they are all masters or phd holders at the moment and know what they want,

So yep maybe 90% of black-american guys lack the morals and all but I am lucky to have part of the remaining 10% as good friends

Congratulations to arshy, and everyone else who is yet to go for their interview, I wish you all the best, Just be you and trust in God, and have a safe trip coming over to the states,

Shuu na wa for all these women sha o, In that case, Men please dont ever ever ever kneel down to propose to your woman, Its a sign of subservience and you are equal to her, Gosh women are so freaking annoying and then you wonder why there are a lot of failed marriages in our generation, not that kneeling down on ur wedding day guarantees u a successful marriage but women always miss out on the little things that make a whole and in their quest to be "liberated' they tend to go overboard and mess things up,

As far as am concerned its only INSECURE women who will make a fuss about kneeling on thier wedding day

@nethacker, thats why I have a car now, cos i know i cant depend on people forever but they were really of help though, and now i move around on my own and help people who need rides out

@nethacker I survived without a car for one whole year o, infact one year and some months and I just got my car in June o, I was just lucky i had a lot of friends who had cars so they always offered to take me around, am in the dallas area, but ur right though, once cannot really survive without a car here unless ur in NYC or something, or u have really good friends who dotn mind offering u rides