₦airaland Forum

^^^ Just say you do not agree with my line of thought as an intelligent well educated human who went to school should say,

So because I have not followed the crowd by condemning her like a lot of people have done, I am now in need of counseling?So when someone presents a different school of though that goes against what you have always grown up believing, then that person needs therapy

Gosh most Nigerians and the shallow minded, in a little box way they reason, and they wonder why the country is still in shambles,

^^^ That's your opinion, We have to agree to disagree on this one,

It could have been anyone, Only the grace of God keeps us. Remember the words of Paul, "things I don't want to do, I do"

I do not live my life for others. I live my life for God alone

May we not know affliction that will push us to give up on life, Thank Jesus you have not faced it

^^^^^ You are also being very emotional, First of all you do not even know her at alllllllllllllll, You have no idea how she lived her life except based on what the media says so you whatever conclusion you make is almost a faulty conclusion, Also it went beyond her boyfriend jilting her, It was that with many other factors, (not excusing the act still)

And the next time you lie or steal or fornicate etc, also note that you are being selfish and cowardly, The same principle applies, I raised my point because I feel people need to be careful when they pass all sorts of judgment, We can never be God and we just hope to live our lives each day like there is no tomorrow,

Rather than castigate her continuously, let us examine our own lives and see this as a wake up call, It could have been anyone, Her story made the media doesn't mean there aren't countless number of Nigerians who have taken their lives at some point for other reasons we might consider baseless,  Let us all just be careful, We are humans and susceptible to falling in ways we never think we will fall

To all you who keep saying she had no reason to commit suicide, yadi yadi ya I pray to the Almighty God that you shall not be faced with a burden or despair that will push you to taking your own life. You all find it easy to condemn because you are not the one in her shoes, May you not go through pain that will push you to thoughts of suicide,

And to all those who have said that she is going straight to hell, please let me know when you all became a "god". Show me where in the Bible that says "those who commit suicide are going to hell". I am in no way justifying her act but I am saying you all need to think before you speak. Based on your understanding of God and who you consider your maker to be, come to your understanding from there. The same Bible that says do not murder also says do not commit adultery, do not lie, do not bear false witness, do not steal, do not fornicate. And I am so sure a lot of us are guilty of all these other sins but because we feel "my sin is not as bad as this other sin" then we are quick to judge others in other to make ourselves look good.

Also the last time I checked, the only unforgivable sins were denying Christ and blaspheming against the Holy Spirit (even though i am still trying to fully understand what it means to blaspheme against the Holy Spirit). Also, what will you say to those who commit all sorts of abortions?

I know people single out Suicide because the "suicidee" did not have an opportunity to ask for forgiveness and repent. But what makes you think you will know for sure what you will be doing before you die? What of those who have accidents on their way back from committing adultery, or those who get shot with stray bullets after stealing company funds or those who dies in a plane crash after cursing out the air hostess? Does that mean they are going straight to hell too?

I think no one has a right to condemn no one because God's ways are not our ways. You do not know how she lived her life before getting to this point and you do not know what relationship she had with God before getting to this point. THat is so between her and God. Everyone seems to be acting like the people who told Jesus they needed to stone the adulterous woman but Jesus replied and said "he who has no sin should throw the first stone".

Let us all examine our lives and "take heed lest we fall"

^^^^^Go scout for your "confirmed and objective" and yes I knew her very well

pDude:
I am hearing a lot of bla bla bla on this thread. Pple here seem to be talking about westernism, marriager being more than kids, family support, bla forkin bla. Abeg make person hear word jor! What the hell happened to her womb? Nobody seems to be address that particular issue which seems to be the main source of the whole tragedy. Did the womb disappear into thin air? Was she born without one? What manner of disease was alleged to have destroyed the womb?

Let these questions be answered before most females here start to shift blames. What the hell did she do with her womb? If she by any chance committed an abortion that went south, then may she roast in hell cos she's getting her reward for murder: so says karma and not me.

Ohh freaking shut the hell up, SO you think every woman who gets her womb removed had an abortion, Nigerians and their foolish myopic thinking, Please go and do your research before yarning dust.

She had an Ovarian cyst and it usually affects all women of all ages, Go read about the causes and symptoms yourself,

Shy One, God bless you, that's all I can say, I can see you are in Indiana. Not to insinuate anything but I have noticed that most Nigerians who go abroad and have a sincere an open mind, usually have their mode of thinking changed for the better and tend to view life broader than the little box our culture tries to put us in most of the time.

There is more to a marriage than having kids but society has made you believe you are nothing if you don't have a child, Its a shame,

I went to school with Motunrayo and she has always been a cheerful girl. But then notice in the story how she went for her masters, came back after 4 months and the only way her folks saw it fit to deal with her constant complaint of depression was to buy her a new car, get her a driver and get her a new job. Money cannot buy peace of mind. Money cannot buy happiness. We all need a stronger support system and families and friends who love us for who we are and who will not reject us if we do not live up to their own expectations of us.

Kobojunkie:
How many people who have actually worked at walmart at one point or another did you consult for their opinion in this? I happen to have worked at one time myself at walmart and particular enjoyed the flexibility and the opportunities that the experience provided me. Sure out of about 100 million employes, there will be the 1% or less who have a problem. That is by no means reason to blacken the name of the company, or is it?

Whether you worked there or not the fact still remains most of the employees at Walmart are unhappy with the place but more often than not they don't have other viable options at the moment or whatever their circumstances are at that point in time. And since you enjoyed working there, good for you, You should have remained and advanced there. That still does not take away the fact that they treat their employees like crap. I have not worked there but most of my peeps have worked there and none had anything good to say about it and when I say none, I mean none.

But I cant tell the end from the beginning just yet. I am only looking at it from an Economist perspective and seeing the good and bad, Only time will tell.

So come on over WallyWorld, Lets see what you have to offer.

My major problem with WALMART is how they treat their employees, It is highly slave like and these people really don't have a lot of choices anyways considering how hard it is to get a job these days. A lot of people working at walmart are working there as a result of necessity really. Who blames them though, we all have to make ends meet in some manner. If only they treated their employees well and paid them well and gave them better incentives or discounts or bonuses, it just might have been a wonderful company.

Its funny how people may think the minimum wage Walmart workers get paid is a lot when converted to Naira but do you really think they will pay Nigerians that amount of money? They will most likely consider what the minimum wage in Nigeria is and pay just that. Or they will have a way of attracting workers with a "high" pay at first and eventually reduce it to what they want it to be.

Also I dont know how this will work overtime but I am afraid that jobs will be lost in the same proportion that jobs will be created leading to no real change actually. Walmart may sell our local goods at ridiculous prices but the law of demand and supply will set in. More people will buy their goods at the cheaper rates and might eventually force local retailers to either reduce their prices or cut their costs. And one way businesses use to cut costs is to lay off some of their workers. And if some of these businesses are unable to meet up to expectations through an increased demand for their goods and services, they might eventually be forced out of business.

Now my speculations might not entirely be the case since its just "two" stores of Walmart opening up but considering how Walmart loves to expand their businesses and lay hands on what ever country they can lay hands on (this is business expansion strategy by the way), if their business is successful in Nigeria, I see them opening more stores in other states and eventually dominating the retail economy. Especially if there are no rules and regulations governing their business and no restrictions whatsoever.

Walmart is very smart in choosing to open up their retail store in the most populous country in Africa (Nigeria) where people are still struggling to make ends meet and will do anything to get their goods and services at the lowest prices possible in other to cut their costs. Which family does not want that really especially in families of 10 or more. Walmart may just be the next best thing for them as long as they feel they are cutting cost and using the extra funds to take care of other needs. Smart move, it may be wonderful in the beginning but overtime we may begin to see the drawbacks and impact they will have on the economy at large.

^^^ I though Okoro and Ibo people were the same

Nigerians just limit themselves  unecessarily by saying I cant marry this or I cant marry that,  How many of you that are married to people from your state, or town or village or even street have happy marriagesMarrying someone from your tribe or ethnicity or what not is not the ingredient to having a long lasting marriage. My uncle is Yoruba, married to a Greek Woman for over 30 years, Has one of the happiest marriages I have ever seen. They still flirt with each other and mess around with each other even at their old age and yet compared to all his siblings who strictly married YORUBA, he has the best marriage so far, The rest either got divorced or one thing or the other.

Now I am not saying this is a general statistic but I am just trying to say that there are more important things to look out for in an individual when the issue of marriage is concerned. Dont write anyone off simply because he is not from your ethnic group or because it wont please mummy and daddy so you wont do it or because you have a strong desire to conform to societal demands consciously or unconsciously

Look when it comes to marriage, I will marry whoever I want ONLY IN THE LORD.

jennykadry:
Whats with all these un necessary arguments?  Some of us have got good parents thank God for that, but some of yous need to go out there and see what some of these so called parents are doing to/with their kids. I am not for abortion and swore it was one procedure I will never carry out on anybody but when I hear of some of the abuses parents have subjected their kids to , I would say aborting that child was way better.

GET IT INTO THE HEAD, WHETHER THEY CARRIED US IN THE WOMB FOR NINE MONTHS IS NOT THE CASE, THE ISSUE IS THIS : WE DID NOT BEG TO BE BROUGHT INTO THIS WORLD, SHE MADE THE DECISION ,I DIDN'T.

Mehn Jenny it was when I finally got more exposed beyond the walls of my parents house that I was amazed at some things parents do with their kids, I lived in the mushin area for a while and I was like OMG why do you choose to get knocked up if this is how you are going to treat the child, Then leaving the shores of naija, wow is all i can say, These kids end up growing up and having all sorts of psychological and emotional trauma and then they carry all these baggage into marriage without even know the root cause of their mode of thinking.

All the talk of "she carried you for nine months" is nothing but manipulation IMO. I respect the pain and trauma of child birth but isnt that enough for you to want to do everything within your power to care for that child rather than neglect .

And with the Casey Anthony case, its funny but in the area where I live, there have been more cases of missing kids that just dint make it to the News, its becoming a trend and I dont understand what is going on with parents and their little kids.

coogar:
how is it faulty? read between the lines. . . . i did not say any chic that's attractive with a superb dress sense must be loose. . . . .but if you have any chic with that kind of lifestyle and if she ends up screwing like a dog. . . .no one would raise an eyebrow.

Well the way you stated it comes across like you are saying every one of them are that way, 90% of my friends (of which I have tons of them but which may not be a good representation) are weave wearing, acrylic fixing, nice dressed, hot sexy God fearing women with high moral standards

But yeah I get your point, It might be rare to find such women but them dey plenty

coogar:
you can either backslide and adopt the yankee way of life or stick to your beliefs and get a woolie-hat wearing, under-dressed/no dress-sense, no make-up, chaste and boring sister in the nearest church to your abode. don't eat your cake and have it. d[b]o not expect to get the attractive, weave-wearing, acrylic nail fixing sister without expecting her to drink, rock wild parties and fu[i]c[/i]k like a horn dog.[/b]

Thats a very faulty statement,

Heheheh Mr Brown jay take it eassy,

But funny enough I was going to say where are you looking that all the girls you see are drunk sex starved women?? Been in the US for a while and have found a good number of decent girls with high moral standards that are also beautiful physically,

I can see you have run out of points to make and too arrogant to plead defeat, Cos your replies dont make sense, Anyways am done, peace out

No they are not in the majority, sorry to burst ur bubble.

Just like you lumped all the cases with CPS into one category abi (saying majority of the mothers deal with drugs- myopic and mediocre). You dint even read my post well, You just went to wikipedia to download info and poured it out,

Anyways all that is derailing this thread, You have your opinion and I have mine, You dont agree with me neither do i agree with you,


End of story, We agree to disagree

That's a very stereotyped statement you made, What do you know about CPSLike I said you are still myopic in your thinking which just proves my theory about you, Jeeze, Please dont make judgments about things you know absolutely nothing about ok. THats a lack of intelligence on your part and u just looked foolish in my eyes right now. You are probably one of those who just make generalisations based on waht u see on TV shuu

Let me coach you on life, Most of the cases that come in are usually more of issues of sheer NEGLECT because folks dont have TIME because they are probably chasing after MATERIAL wealth and them kids constitute a burden, 

Dey there dey wait for the poster to prove herself sogbo,

*Yawn* I knew that was what u will say next, You also were not raised well if you had to resort to calling names to make a point, don't know why some people dont know how to argue intelligently without resorting to name calling.

And when you go back and think clearly like a human being you will be able to tell that I made a GOOD point, you are just attaching unnecessary sentiments,

I never encouraged the poster to attack her mum and i dint even give any advice whatsoever. I was just stating facts which are entirely true.

After working with Child Protective Services and seeing the crap I see I know for sure that not every woman deserves the kids given to them, Some women needed to use some form of birth control before having kids and the same goes for the men.

But what would you knowyour still inexposed to the realities of life, But I have seen a lot and keeping seeing more daily, Wake up and smell the coffee

Wo TPAIN go and mop barbeach jor, You are too immature to understand reality sogbo, Keep living in your little village bubble

Oh and by the way I love my mother to death because she raised me right and well, So so well infact but that does not take away the fact that I have seen some FOOLISH Mothers,

I will reiterate what SIena mentioned. A BAD UNREPENTANT MOTHER DOES NOT DESERVE LOVE, SHe needs to prove herself worthy of that by being humble and not automatically expect the child to show unending love simply because she came out of her Vajina,

TPAIN SO whats the whole WITCH calling for??

Anyways you are talking like a Nigerian that is not exposed with a narrow horizon so I aint surprised.

Na your silly naija mentality  cause am so you dont know better

Like someone said, no one forced her to have kids and they did not beg to come into the world so children are not indebted to their parents forever. My children owe me nothing for bringing them into this world. They are to honor and respect me but I wont Lord it over them to forever kiss my foot if I have neglected them and not being a major part of their life.

What will you say about women who have kids and dump them infront of someone's house? so if the kid ends up meeting such mother in future she is forever indebted to her abi? Olodo

TPAIN if you notice I have not attacked her mum neither have i even said anything about her situation. I am just letting you know my opinion and you can clearly say I dont agree too.

I still stand and say God gave her to her mother and God can take her away when he wants. Just because a child came in through his/her parents does not mean the child is forever indebted to her folks.

So it has to get to a stage of abuse before a child speaks forth? This is a case of neglect and you and no one can invalidate how the poster feels.

tpia@:
Let's not incite violence plz.

We havent heard the other side of te story and besides it never bodes well for the child who curses out their mother in this manner.

Regardless if the mother is actually bad or not. Let others do the cursing, not you. Because without your mother you still wouldnt have a mouth to say whatever it is you're saying.

At most, call your relatives into the matter, not random strangers and/or boyfriends.

I beg to differ with that statement, Without God she will not be alive, God is the giver of kids and not man. Just because you get married and sleep with your husband does not automatically mean you are entitled to a child. Its a gift and God can give you that gift and take it away from you when he pleases.

Decent girls dont go clubbing, there are other ways to socialize without having to go clubbing and embarassing yourself.

Girls you know that when u go to a club the normal thing is for guys to want to touch and dance with you so if thats a problem for you then why are you there with your half naked clothing tempting them? ANd then when they come to dance close up you start pushing then away. Pshh

If you want to marry a man/woman and the thought of signing a pre-nuptial agreement crosses your mind, then think twice about that marriage. It just simply shows the marriage is already over even before it starts. That''s just my opinion.

We live in such a materialistic world where everyone is just chasing after wealth at the expense of all that truly matters, family, friends, good relationships, God. For me, it will just show that I am dealing with someone who is solely after wealth if the topic of pre-nuptial agreement comes up. It also shows he does not trust you with money, assets and what not.

But on the other hand, who can really blame them? Our world is everly changing and survival of the fittest is much becoming the order of the day. Morals are depreciating and systems we once held in high esteem are beginning to lose their value.

WOW and all this is the reason why Nigeria was and is and probably will remain BACKWARDS and underdeveloped,

OSUNa wa, Too much FLinstones is causing this.

Thank you God for sending Jesus,

my virginity

PASTOR AIO! WORD! Preach it, Thats a very good breakdown, I could not have said it better. May God open the eyes of present day Christians to take out time to dig deep and understand his word clearly rather than limit ourselves to what our pastors say on Sundays.

THank you Pastor AIO, I came to that understanding after studying the word by myself and sharing with other theologians. I pray everyone else can do the same so as to keep developing a more meaningful relationship with Christ

This write-up was stolen from Bella Naija under the weddings category so Credit should be given where credit is due. If you are going to copy and paste someone else's write-up, courtesy demands that you post a link of your source except you are the writer herself.