₦airaland Forum

Inked_Nerd:
I don't need a man to provide for me. My parents have taught me to be an independent woman. And no, I am not a cavemen. Unlike you, I don't possess archaic beliefs on how men and women live in this society. [/font][/size][/size][/font]

Misquote?

dobodobo:
Yes Cavewoman, you must be expecting father christmas guy.all men don wise up, No more mugu, No more Maga

Besides, a cave-woman approach needs a cave man service. Shekanaa.

sistawoman:
Actually those small petty things like sofas are left up to me to decide. Do I spend 5k or 10k on that sofa is left for him to decide.

You missed the point. The point is you are involved and making decision. Get it. That was the point of the example.

sistawoman:
I dont believe that there can be equal parties in a marriage.

One person has to make the final decison and has to bear the weight of that decison.

Hmmm you never heard of Team work? Is the concept of working as a team strange to you?

For example, we may need a new sofa at home, I show girl friend different options we can afford, she picks one, I disagree, I then pick one, she disagree, then we finally reach a compromise. (This is the part the decision is made) and we order the new sofa, job done.

But by using the definition of our culture, a man sees a sofa, he pays for it without consulting the preferences the GF may like because he works for it and simply because he is the man? I think that is the type of man you like. Sorry o.  

sistawoman:
not if done properly. . . . I am married to a Nigerian man. . . . and I am submissive to that man. . . .yet still I am not a doormat. . . .

These types of things again are discussed during the vetting period in a r/s.

By the definition of "submission" in our culture, you have to be a door mat. If you are not, then you are not being submissive like our culture demands. The thing here is that while things are working with you and your man, it is not the same as being submissive, it is a totally different idea.

You do realise, back in the days in Yoruba and igbo culture, it is not uncommon for a man to demand for a woman to go and inside and lay on the bed for sex. In other words, women are like a sex-on-demand objects, but gradually we have moved away from that now.

You have sayings and proverbs that is instilled in our minds from a young age about how "The man is the head of the house" blah blah blah. Give me a break, you cannot be a head when there are supposed to be EQUAL PARTIES in the relationship etc.   Anyway, you get the point.

sistawoman:
Being submisive does not mean being a doormat. . . .I think too many women confuse the two.

It is the typical argument that is put forward, yet in reality women are expected to be submissive like a slave. How many married women in a relationship in naija can call their husband by his name after X amount of years??  How many out there can go against what their husband actually want? Since you dad is white and your mum black like you claim, I am asking the wrong person.

sistawoman:
Again this is something that should be discussed during the vetting period.

Submission is not a dirty word.

You are right, it is not a dirty word. But it is a dirty and almost degrading practice.

albridge:
do i really have to say this again? in any organization, in any institution, even in heaven, there is a head. thats the way things were designed for there to be order and progress. either women submit to men or men submit to women. there cant be two captains calling the shots in one ship.    do it any other way and you are asking for chaos. women take note  

Do I have to make it clear to you that the definition of submission in our culture is almost like "losing all your self will" and become almost a mindless zombie in order to make things work with your man.

Wake up and smell the coffee, in reality, relations do not work like that.

As for your post about heaven, sorry I do not believe in fairy tales and harry potter.

Another romance laced song.

Really dedicated to all you real and special females!

Damn I feel all loved up. **Hugs self**



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glhdcJ7K3XM

sistawoman:
I don't understand the problem.

Try reading the thread, what she said and what was subsequently posted, and BANG, her problems become obvious.

Inked_Nerd:

I agree with what you said about women of African origin being taught that they need to be dependent on a man, except for the part where you said you don't blame her. I do blame her. I grew up being taught things similar to that yet I don't have the desire to have a man provide for me. I know how to stand on my own two feet and provide for myself. I was having a conversation with my aunt once about the portrayal of Nigerian women in Nollywood movies and how it comes across as "gold diggerish". While we were talking, she pointed out something that slipped my mind. She said that from a young age, that African men need to provide for women and that it was the reason that they show women like that in Nollywood movies is because it is just a mirror image of what the societal beliefs are in African countries. A lot of it stems from the perceived notions of gender roles. Often times when I talk to Nigerian men about my beliefs in gender roles in African culture they get upset and tell me that I have "too much freedom" or that a woman purpose in life is to serve men.

The most interesting bit to me is the part in bold.  I think this is the problem and why some cultural aspect will hamper our moving forward. Gender roles are almost reversal these days and the distinct lines are blurred and border crossed.

The earlier we moved from "perceived ideas" and actually doing what is practical we may have less of the filth posted in the OP to read about. I mean, what is wrong for a woman to be able to work and look after herself. Gosh, things like hairdo are basic personal care, if you need another man in order to do that, then surely there is a problem with her mental reasoning.

Kudos to you for not having this Africanised perception of "let a man take care of you"

olas2u:
I understand what you are saying ,but dont forget we have norms as a result of our culture,but foreign influence changed all that,poverty alone may not be responsible because there still examples of countries with so much poverty, but good virtures like southeast asia.

Nigerian men respect women and treat them well,but you can never give enough ,because of peer pressure and our value system.

I don't understand your point. I think our culture is actually the problem as to why ladies like that actress have such mentality or way of thinking. Let's not start blaming foreign influence.

I very much doubt Nigerian men respect woman like you are putting it. Our culture puts women in a position of infantilsation - I.e to be treated and catered for like bloody babies. This makes women to lose all sense of wanting to be on their on feet and forever thinking yeah a man will provide for me.

olas2u:
This type encourage corruption and cheating in the Nigerian society,they are the  curse of our major problems in that society,most politicans have women who encourage stealing.They are never content,and she will be happy being a single parent,and men will line up at her doorstep to take turns,because they will give her that money .

Don't forget to blame her for global warming too. 

What about the society that treats women as second class citizen and they are men properties? Or how they are brought up to be submissive to their men etc. No?

y me:
why don't you just make that imagination of yours become reality?

yeah!!!!! i love this song the tittle  Gotta Get You Home Tonight gat a way of turning me on
nice one El

I'm at the point in my life that I love how it is for once. Females not exactly high on my list. In the words of my Dad, get the right shiiiitttttt and the right women will come. So focus on getting even better shiiittttt.  

Glad you like it.

I think I prefer this one, which is the original than the one by Foxy brown and blackstreets.

PS
Keep up with the silence. Don't be deterred or side tracked by filth.

Is wanting a man that is "financially stable" is the new word for someone who have all the qualities of a gold digger? 

The way she present it is wrong. What's wrong with her go getting her own damnnn hair done with her own damnnn money? Oh wait, she never had any hence the need to rely on a man. 

EDIT

So she is in effectively saying "No romance without finance"

thweraja10:
Thats what they made us believe. And parents are never wrong.

I don't understand, Parents can be wrong, are they not humans? Anyway, I am not keen on dragging this but more about people sharing their experiences.

y me:
this is the first time i am hearing this song tho but yeah it really made me bump my head to the beat too

but wetin make the two guys dey dance like all those naija men with agbada?

Those are the grandfather of what is essentially RnB/pop that you hear people like usher sings. Please do not say you haven't heard of them outside. They sing very well and have made tracks with the likes of Tupac and co. They are legends in the same ranks as Joe et al.



What about this one? It is a song that was remixed by foxy brown. This is some good old school shit. With this kind of song, I imagined myself with that princess of mine and leaving a club with her, while this plays in the back ground. Damn, I am all loved up today.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKbOZVW7XxU

I sit here reminiscing on growing up back in naija, and when I look back on some of the things people "before me" did that was so wrong, but was unable to say anything to them back them.

For me it will have to be when my Parent have a quarrel or disagreement with a neighbour and we are barred from playing with the kids of that neighbour. This is just wrong on many levels, I know this back then but gosh I was unable to do anything about it. It is detrimental to how kids interact and in my opinion, it can sow a seed of hatred. I wonder if such practices still goes on.

Another one I remember is if said neighbour brings food over festive period, it goes automatically goes into the bin, due to lack of trust and the cultural beliefs that such food may potentially contain poison. While I agree that there are possibilities, I still feel it is wrong for your neighbour to come with good intentions and such intentions are just met with suspicious. Again as a kid growing up, this makes me actually think my neighbour is a witch and as such the kids must be witches too. You can imagine how destructive that can be for us as a kids.


What are you experiences?

I don't blame her. She grows up in an environment where they are taught that men is supposed to look after THEIR needs, as opposed to them standing on their own damnnnn feet and be somebody and something in life.

I have also noticed, that the trend is common within Americans of African origin (This is my observation) and I think it is just wrong.

No man in this day and age wants a woman to be dependent on him - well, I speak for myself. It is not an ideal thing. No wonder some men demand they want their women to be submissive in return.

y me:
LMAO!!  i so remember this song  , i be dey sing am one kind style that year because i know wetin them dey tallk,i remembered when it gts to the part i dont know i replace it with huh huh huh but i can never forget the biggy biggy,heavy heavy part
keep them coming El

Not only you. As most naijans back home then we just invent a word to go along lol. But yeah everyone knows the biggie biggie part lol.


Damn, feels like I wanna party and just chill at the same time. I usually don't feel like this, I may need to play the lottery tonight. Who knows?



Since you want me to keep it coming, how about this?

Kci and jojo - You bring me up.

I normally bump my head to this, crank out the volume in the car with the thumbing bass-line while I drive with friends. Damn. Looking back on it now, I matured too quickly I swear!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzD92gDJfW4

nana:
Awww,so sweet! Me likey

Thanks. Which one you prefer?


Check this out, I really want the 90s back. One of the good times to party!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qogEsGuQWH4

y me:
am sure gonna beat u to that

Silence can be so loud at times. I also heard it is the best approach to dealing with fools. Apparently, if you ignore them long enough, they will fade away. Think about that.


If you use my idea, then I have no problem with it. I never liked the whole traditional song, and the day I listened to this back in the 90s, I felt like it was actually speaking to me that "Hey I am that song you are looking for to use as your wedding song"!

Dr Cork:



bro,  Did u know 190 is male  logging in as a female?

He's been banned several times either by the Anti spam bot or those who are in charge. I guess he feels insecure in his own sexuality that he's got to come across as a woman.

All his previous account were posted from the perspective of a male so it is enough to assume he is one. Beside, no female is dumb like he present himself. They have self control and self respect.

y me:
@ElRazur
i so much love the second song and its on replay as i am typing
i love that, i feel am flying high right now

but i didnt really dig the first one tho

B.T.W: the romance section has been taken total control of by nitwits so don't be surprised when they all bump into this thread

once again lovely song

Thank you. At least one person likes it.  

The first one is a classic. Omo you have to listen to it and cherish the words.

The second one is awesome. I love it too. I have vowed that if I ever get married, it will be the song to play as she walks up to me.

So by your logic, anyone who feels a song is worth dedicating to females (real females, and not muppet with pennnnis like your masquerading as one) must be smoking. You are dumber than I think. As for the rest of your post, just utter garbage.

I will reply you once you post something meaningful. You know, put your brains to work for once.

Dr Cork:
mature ones with brains?   where?  here  or  there?

You will be surprise!

I have meet a few people from here who are really mature and intelligent, but the large number of muppets like 190 has made people post less. So in a way, I understand what you are saying.

Dr Cork:
ermm which females?

Mature ones with brains?

y me:
its blank dear

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A9HN89_14E




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tsu4yRmxNWc


Dunno why the damn thing is blank.

--190--:
Damn Im feeling this guy, The Guy don https://www.smileyshut.com/smileys/new/Smoking/smoking-029.gif already this afternoon!

Why do you have to be a person all the time? I have left you when you are one immature prick and gone away for a while now, shame you are still a person on my arrival.

I'm feeling all good this Friday, so I am dedicating two of my favourite songs to you all. Happy weekend.



[flash=400,400]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A9HN89_14E[/flash]



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A9HN89_14E




Damn, the perfect gal, the perfect song, damn.    .    .   .   I am feeling loved right now.




And this one, I swear if I ever get to pick one lucky gal and get married to her, this will be the song we will be playing as she walks down the aisle.

[center][flash=480,385]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tsu4yRmxNWc[/flash][/center]



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tsu4yRmxNWc





EDIT

Third song. Feel like we should party on nairaland. Damn!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qogEsGuQWH4


EDIT 2


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzD92gDJfW4

Obama should have not got involved in all of these. By actually getting involved, he catered to the weakness and sensitivity of Islamist fundamentalists. His judgement on this one is flawed in my opinion.

Also on a side note, while the nutter of a pastor has merely threatened to burn a Koran, the Islamist across the world have result to burning American flags, even though the damn Pastor is yet to light a match and most of America appeared to have condemn his planned actions. Who really is a nut case here?


Another thing that seem weird is how burning a koran is nothing but burning a paper and set of black ink. Surely, if you are offended by the fact that he use his own money to burn a piece of paper in his own back garden, then you should seriously check your own beliefs. For all I care, I love ikebe super, but any nutter can buy a million copies and burn it, but as long as it ain't my collection that is burnt, I have no problem with it.


SMH religion is a problem.

Good to see logic from many posters in one thread.   

I love the first reply, we should have closed and lock this thread after that reply.

Well done and kudos to everyone who come across as logical and seeing past the filth that was released by CBN.

snowdrops:
you dont have to be so severely critical or sarcastic all the time. everyone has a right to a point of view whether you agree with it or not.

I am forced to ask you too, what are you talking about?


Read his post, then read my reply. I merely cancelled out his logic. 


PS
There appears to be this animosity about those who may be abroad and hence his comments.

Also in fairness, those who are abroad may come across in manner that people back home do not like.

Having said that, I really do not see that animosity and bad-belle in this thread for him to post such garbage.

AjanleKoko:
@Topic,
Ironic that we black Africans are discussing Hawkings' idea. Strangely, if that were to ever happen, I guess we'd all be stuck here anyway. Africans in Africa, as well as Africans elsewhere.

Or are the diasporeans assuming they would be automatically granted a ticket out of 'hell', simply by virtue of their passports?

It is even more ironic that as a Black African, you clicked on this thread to post meaningless garbage in order to criticise those who post. Or am I missing something?

What exactly is your point?

chika98:
Thank You for being ever so kind in your swift response. I do get it now

You are welcome. I am kinder than you think.

chika98:
I have read the "freaking" posts. What's your point?

If you read and comprehend, then you wouldn't have wasted time asking the same thing that's already answered.

y me:
you need ice water cool down nah