₦airaland Forum

S@mi:
your story is heart touching,  hum hum parents were so wrong back then, I remember when I had to go and stay in my uncle house, he has a wife & 3 grown up kids, but I found out cruel that I'm always the one to take care of the home and cleaning the dishes and rest rooms, my uncle wife was so cruel with me to the extent that she will have to wake up me up late at night to come and clean dishes or sweep her room !whereas her kids are busy sleeping and they were so lazy, but i finally made me way outta there, but it wasn't easy for me as a kid grewing up .

I just look back on it now, and wished I have actually done something about it.  I mean, take this for instance, during holiday periods when her kids are back from boarding schools and all at the shop, the first born gets 15naira as lunch money (I am older than the dude by at least good Seven years or so), the second one and third one gets 12naira each. It is me and the last one who was just a youngster at the time get the same 10naira for lunch.

My sister's excuse? They just came back from boarding school, they look lean and thin, hence they need to eat more before heading back!  I mean, how destructive is this for a young person? How can they make you feel more different? smh. The irony of it all is that me and my sister are of the same mother and father, yet I sometimes feel like I was probably adopted and will one day find the adoption papers.

Fast-forward years on, out of all his kids, I am not sure any one of them is as big as me. (And those who have met me will tell you I am not a massive guy lol) I guess that is just life.

In her defence, I felt sometimes she probably acted that way because she her first born (roughly same age as me) died of mysterious circumstance and hence she went overboard in protecting her the existing in the best way she can, and I bear the brunt. That was my some of my thoughts, but the last time I was home, she had a houseboy, and then it just dawned on me that I was used like a house boy while I was there. Also, in my most recent visit, she's taken in my step sister and she confided in me about how she was been treated, and it is no different from how I was when I was there.   She goes to a public school just like I did and her daughter (who is now same age as my step sister) goes to Federal Government college in Odogbolu. Sucks really.

And don't know if you noticed, but this thread is actually about Saudi. Saudi is more a religion state than the US. No? Smh.

snthesis:
the fear of my papa's koboko  was d beginning of wisdom (how come most ppl rememba koboko- ws it a standard issue bac in d days i.e. once u became a dad u were automatically given one). i have neva called my father Dad- tis either Papa or Sir, neva got a hug, twas always a miracle if he remembered my bday. Once i've been dumped in d boarding house -dey 4got all abt me- visiting day didnt exist in dier dictionary.


from all the experiences posted so far small wonder boarding houses was hell, people actually transferred the anger/lessons learnt from home and transferred it to the juniors, i had more than my fair share of whooping from so called seniors unfortunately for me i didnt get to inflict my own cos by then the school system had changed

Hey, I am not trying to single you out, but as a few pointed already, this is one of the problems with this style of upbringing the some of us have expressed - It seem to goes on. I mean, you wanted to inflict some of yours probably as a result of what you experienced.

@Dayokanu

How was the whole "dad apologising" thing feels? I think it was something I would have wanted to get out of my dad. I suppose it must have been a relief?

My brother did manage to get him to see his ways were wrong. After X amount of long reality talk between my father and my brother, my dad didn't sleep for the night, he was just down and thinking all night.

I mean, who are we back then to dare say he was wrong or he did something unacceptable? He towered over us like a giant, and instead of respect I feel it was more about fear.

I can remember him coming home, and I am shitting myself thinking I have done something wrong, even though I've been in my room studying all day. SMH. To me, that is just wrong.

When it comes to discipline, the combination of huge wires as a form of whip and Corporal punishment was borderline abuse I think. It just got to a stage that my skin become naturally resistant to the lash that I just tend to shake them off. But gosh, they beatings do hurt.

I remember one of the most humiliating moment in my life, it was in ilorin and I must have lied to my dad out of the fear of him finding out and beating the Jesus out of me, but anyway he did find I lied and he flogged me right in front of the class I just felt the ground should opened up and swallowed me.


Apart from my dad, I also lived with my Sister in Lagos and her treatment was just a systematic abuse, and one of the many reasons we just don't get along. I was taken from a science school in Lokoja and thrown into a public school in Lagos, while her own kids attended Federal Government Colleges.  Then there's the subtle mental and physiological abuses like she buys the best of the best for her kids, and I have to make do with something that stands out that I am different.

Take one of these for instance, I was in Morocco Comprehensive High School in Jibowu, and when I finished, I have to trek all the way to Mushin to go and give a helping hand at the shop, there is little or no time to read, and going to her shop after school is mandatory as I am not allowed to go home in shomolu (Which is just about 15 mins walk away) but go all the way to mushin. The had tremendous impact on my ability as a student, but somehow some way I managed to pull it through.  On comparison, when her kids finish from school, they get picked up and dropped at home where they can study etc. Oh and when we close for the day at mushin, I will have to carry all the cooking for the family on my head and walk back to Shomolu, while she takes a bus most times. I know this is hard for most to see as the truth, but I really have nothing to lie about.

There have been times I get fed up with how I am treated at my sister and I do rebel. So what will be the punishment? I am denied food for a week. No joke. I will not go to the shop and she will not give me pocket money either, it was painful back then and still painful right now as I am typing it. But yeah, it is wrong and very wrong.   .      .       .       .  


More to come.

aktunde:
My dad would never say sorry to any of his child even though he later realized he has beaten you unjustly. Even if its obvious he has realized his own mistake, his face will still portray "and so 4cking what"?. I just hate this. Even if he is feeling too big to say sorry, at least he can show some remorse or find a way of pulling you closer. But for my old man, na lie! He has always been like that even till date.

Between 2007-April 2010, the relationship between my dad and I went so sour beyond our imagination. He told me he needed a broker, and my friend who is a banker recommended a stock broker to me. I connected the stock broker to my dad, and they initiated some stock transactions. Eventually, that stock broker sold some of my dad's shares without his consent, and tried to hide the evidence. He didn't give him his cssc statement for two years so that my dad would't find out. He kept telling him stories. He played my dad till re resigned from that stock brokerage firm and couldn't be traced. He resigned without telling my dad even though he managed my dad's account. By the time my dad eventually got his statement through another stock broker, my dad discovered that lots of his shares had been sold without his consent. His total losses was above 1million naira.

My dad contacted his siblings (my uncles and aunts) and told them I had connived with an outsider to dupe him. I was made a black ship of the family. I couldn't even go near any family member again because they all see me as a dupe. It broke my heart so much that my dad couldn't even trust me again. Only mum mom and siblings maintained their trust in me. Eventually, my elder brother, myself and my dad went to the cscs, the registrars office and the headquarters of the stock brokerage firm. Eventually, we found out the stock broker and the company registrar did the whole arm to my dad.

The most annoying thing is that my dad didn't even say sorry for my name that he had robbed in the mud among the family members. Till date, I'm not even sure he had try to convince his siblings that I am innocent. He just walked away as if nothing happened. I have forgiven him, even when he didn't say sorry or apologies. But I am not sure I love him as much as before again.

That is pretty strong. I feel your pain.

My dad sowed so many seeds of hatred - Talking about it atimes will make me go mad, and cant even do that on a forum like here. It is so bad that I did not go to his funeral, and I have no regret what so ever. The only thing that hurts me is that I just never get to tell him he was wrong before he died. Those kinda of things are nothing but emotional torture at times, but I just channel some of those hurt into doing other things that are positive.

It is interesting that some of us here have gone through so much pain and coping with many unjust that if we live in other parts of the world, I have a feeling we may have gone to see a specialist of some kind.

Overall, I am glad people are opening up. It goes to show many things are over looked at certain levels.

Thanks guys for sharing your experiences. Please keep them coming.

Dayokanu, My dad was same as yours, but it is kinda good to hear people have this same thing I was trying to discuss.

MR Money £:
Have you forgotten that there are alot of one man biz out there, that  have shops where these kids pay 100 naira or so  to play Ps3 and also pay money to watch live premiership watches in these same shops, so forget it they have assess to ps3 and co ?

I paid 5naira back then to play Super Nintendo for a game of crappy Street fighter ( I say that now, but back then it was the bomb). I mean my point is there is always distraction of some kind, but I honestly think the whole educational and examination system needs revamping.

The whole educational system needs a major re-haul and reworking.

Over in the UK, students are getting A*(star) in their grades and over 80% making passing with several As. However, people are still complaining that it is too easy and it needs revamping. I think in the case of Nigeria, the education system is a failing our students. Not a lot of students actually understand what is being taught in school and there is more emphasise on "Passing the exam", rather than actually understanding what it is about.

For example, I was speaking to a student back on over BB just couple of days ago and she told me how they have to turn up in class at 7am for Physics I dont, know about you, but at 7am, the body is still ont fully alert yet and there is still the morning blues around. I mean, shifting the lectures to start at 9 seem to me a better idea etc. It is little things like this that we may have to look at in my opinion.

I feel sorry for those who have failed. They are meant to be our tomorrow, but right now, the future is looking bleak.

My last bump on this one, no any other reply.

^^^ Translation?

Are you suggesting things are not be looked at in the right context, when there are evidences that suggest there is slavery still going on due to arab influence (Niger will be one place from the top of my head).

I have noticed, you try to put across the position of "right" "correct" etc all the time, do you mind actually telling us what is your own version of right?

Most Arabic cultures have a tendency to move across to other areas as the have what appears to be normandic-type of culture due to the region they live in - Deserted-type of landscape. Also, they are perceived as fighters and warriors, and quite rightly so, some will say. After all, if you are willing to move to other people's land then you must be ready to fight for the resources etc.

smh.

Just out of interest, who made you an authority on such issues? More than 95% of the laws of the land in Saudi are based on what's in the Koran, so wtf are you on about?

In all honesty, let me borrow your logic for a second an say your post is one of the ONLY garbage in this thread.

What a weird story.

Fifa is investigating allegations that a fake Togo team played a friendly against Bahrain earlier this month.

Bahrain won the friendly 3-0 but they were surprised by the poor quality of the Togolese team with head coach Josef Hickersberger describing the match in Riffa on Sept 7 as "boring" and "a wasted opportunity".

However, it appears Bahrain's opponents were not an official Togo team.

Togo sports minister Christophe Chao told Jeune Afrique: "Nobody has ever been informed of such a game. We will conduct investigations to uncover all those involved in this case."

According to the Gulf Daily News, BFA vice-president Shaikh Ali bin Khalifa Al Khalifa confirmed Bahrain went through all the correct channels in organising the match.

Shaikh Ali added all the paperwork received before the friendly were officially signed and stamped from the Togolese Football Federation.

The publication went on to report a letter listed a 20-member Togo team, including each player's passport number and date of birth.

However, a completely different list of 18 players was provided by a team official a few minutes before the start of the match.

The Bahrain Football Association (BFA) said it had been arranged under all the usual official procedures and through an agent they had known for several years.

Anyone else find this really weird? Surely, Togolese football fans would have spotted something ain't right all along? 


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/international/8003549/Fifa-investigate-fake-Togo-team-at-Bahrain-match.html

RSA:
Obama went from Hero to Zero,it is very sad He does not even have a African support.

Jesus freaking christ.

America security services do not take kindly to threat to the President. This have nothing to do with Obama. 

And who are you to claim Obama do not have African support, seriously what is your authority? 

Did you even read what I posted before? Here is a link about how Eminem was in trouble in 2003 when lyrics of his song were perceived as a threat (Well sort of) to Bush.

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1480985/20031208/eminem.jhtml

Eminem could find himself the subject of a Secret Service investigation if a lyric from one of his songs is construed to be a threat against President George W. Bush.

In his song "We As Americans," Eminem rhymes, "F--- money/ I don't rap for dead presidents/ I'd rather see the president dead/ It's never been said, but I set precedents."

"We As Americans" is one of the songs leaked online last week that Eminem's spokespeople said were unfinished tracks not intended for public release (see "Eminem's Benzino Dis Turns Up In The Lab" ). His reps could not confirm when the track in question was recorded. However, elsewhere in the song, Eminem references the release of 50 Cent's Get Rich or Die Tryin', which occurred in the last year.

A person in the Secret Service Office of Public Affairs confirmed that they were aware of the song and were looking into the matter. John Gill, the official spokesperson for the Secret Service, was not immediately available for further comment.

Even though Eminem doesn't mention Bush or the president of the United States specifically, it is standard procedure for the Secret Service to investigate anything that might be considered a threat against the president.

SMH

Depressing and gruesome. Surely, a man in his kind of position can afford real security of some kind? I feel sorry for the kids who survived. Imagine the trauma, flash back etc they will have to live with for the rest of their lives?

Bump. Where are all the beautiful females?

So what was he expecting, a warm welcome?

Didn't Eminem got investigated due to saying things that are perceived as threatening to the Bush back then? I think Eminem eventually back down. (If not them go spoil him career)

Femmy, I have asked in one of your thread for a price quote on car, can you be kind enough to relpy?

Also I noticed you have different email addresses, is it okay to ask why not a unified email?

If Mr Femmy here?

BrownJay

Two fit divde 4. That is they can both be unfaithful and still have something sexual on-going. That na the only outcome I can see.

I know you are talking about your friend and another woman. . . Can't really advice you much unless you make your post clearer. Sorry.

. . . . And this is what drags the quality around here down. SMH.

denzel2009:
Tosinville understood the poster's message easily cos they were on the same wavelength.

You don kolo

@Topic.

I am young, black, famous, intelligent, God's gift to women, potential millionaire, look handsome and I am ElRazur?

Damn, my CV looks strong.

I think you may want to reassess your position. It is not fair that you just want a bit of fun and nothing more, when she feels differently about you. Sleeping with her and then leading her to believe you may have a relationship with her is probably not the way to go. Having said that, I will probably be a hypocrite if I don't say I will just sleep with her and give her the cold shoulder afterwards. But do as I say, not as I do as the saying goes.

Speak to her about it, who knows, she may just give you the sexxxxxx that you desire and nothing more. Also take into consideration you have someone who care about you on the side.

I am not so sure I am keen on dropping mine. Some of you are very brave, but I am not THAT brave.

violent:
Since when has it become mandatory to open up new topics on NL?. . i mean, its not as if anyone will cut off your air supply if you don't!

For pete's sake, if you can't open up sensible threads, then by all means, don't open up silly ones.

Gbam

May I also add that if you cannot make logical post, please just read and enjoy from the comfort of you computer. It is not a must to get involve with your stupidityyyy

Agibecky:
Source?
http://kissesnroses.com

Thanks. I just hope people give credit to where credit is due.

Tosinville:
^^^on romance section i meant

if you think you can't come up with a new unique topic then forget.

You are becoming daft on purpose.

All the threads in the first page alone addressed different issues. Yes a few may be similar but they are worded differently and to the individual concerned who made the thread, it is a new topic. To those who posted replies in it, it is a new topic etc.

Now, where is your proof that nothing is new?

Tosinville:
Elrazur,

Basically, all what you're trying to do on here now is to give me some coherent answers, i'm not arguing anymore that there's no nothing new but all i'm asking you now is to come up with a new unique topic that i haven't come across before romance section just as simple as that, chairman.

Trying looking up the word obtuse, it may help.

You made a wild and illogical claim, you should back it up with proofs. Shekana.

In the mean time, try these questions - Why do you keep coming back? Why do people post here than any other section?

Source?

I like the part that made reference to chocolate, sweet tooth and "I love you".

Tosinville:
Elrazur,

drop what? I have nothing to drop anymore only for you to reason with my previous posts and i'm not here to accompany anyone to discuss something irrelevant again on this thread, all i want you to do now is just for you to come up with a new unique topic for members to comment thats all.

What are you talking about?

Okay going by you claim, it is once again flawed. Jeez.

People debate and disagree on a forum because there is forever new information that comes out and debating etc are what makes a forum. Hence why people are attracted to it and why it is busy. Get it? If there is nothing new to talk about people will go away.

Seriously, how hard is it for you to understand?

I also noted you keep posting the same old regurgitated filth, do you know what onus means? You are the one who should be proving there is nothing new, you are the one having a problem understanding the concept of new, hence it falls on you to provide the proof.

EDIT

If there is nothing new, why do you keep coming here? I suppose you keep coming here for NEW information.

Using an obtuse approach will not get you off the hook.