₦airaland Forum

Here is a shot the same Mi5 building, but from a different angle, and at night time.

https://img693.imageshack.us/img693/9592/highrisea.jpg

Usually photographers do get harassed questioned due to the sensitivity of the building and the potential terror threat, but on this day I had no problem whatsoever.



Damn, most of my images won't upload as they are high resolution pictures. So not sure I can upload any-more. I also have portraits of people I have done, but I cannot post that.

Anyone got images to share?

Well I am into photography and shot mostly Portraits, Landscape, Wildlife and anything that allows me to express my thoughts and ideas. So allow me to share a few of the ones I have done recently.


I was at the grave yard today (Before anyone start moaning, it is good for bird photography as it is very wooded and provides right nesting grounds etc) so I saw this little chappy here. I think he was startled to see me and waited to see if I was a threat or not. Needless to say, I slowly pointed the camera at him, focused and clicked! The result is below.
https://img228.imageshack.us/img228/3075/squireleditedcopy.jpg

It is called a Grey Squirrel and very common in this part of the UK. I believe it is an alien specie, as the native squirrel of England is actually called a Red Squirrel.






With this one, there isn't much story lol. Took it about a month ago or so. Not an easy shot to take and this one can be better I think.

https://img689.imageshack.us/img689/3148/flowerfinalcopy.jpg






This is the SIS building (The spy office) and I believe it was used in James Bond's movie "Tomorrow never dies".   What I did here was played with "Shutter priority". Basically, it is controlling the camera shutter and letting it remain open for longer period so as to let more lights in. It can provide very good effects as seen below.

https://img52.imageshack.us/img52/2127/mi5l.jpg




More to come.  .  .

tensor777:
^^Well to be honest I was very surprised that a lot of parents back then had to resort to such extreme punishments to keep their kids in check.
That suggests, in of itself, there was a kind of punishments' progression: from a telling off, to mild spanking, to caning, to horsewhipping,  to flogging with NEPA cables and finally deliberate scarring.
I would have thought that, in normal circumstances a telling off or a mild spanking would have been enough to secure obedience in most cases to parental instructions.
Apart fom clear cases where the parent had mental health issues, does this not point to some kind of deep-rooted underlying problem?

Not sure I get your point here, but some argue that spanking - especially when it becomes really bad - shows nothing, but a poor parental skills. Some even argue that there are ways to cope with a child or to structure them without beating, sometimes I do think they have a point.

If you beat someone so as to change them, it is essentially crude and trying to crush the will power and individuality of that person - in this case, a kid. I am not so sure it is go to use canning like they do back home to try and correct a child.

As usual, this is all my opinion and not in anyway a statement of fact.

Thanks Missy B.

I don make the note jare Davidylan. Smh@those moppets.

tensor777:
^^Well we actually were fortunate enough to have a playroom full of toys, books and all manner of things that would keep us gainfully occupied.
So no, we were, mostly, not in the habit of running amok all over the house and creating a nuisance of ourselves. If we did act up then of course we were punished.
The point is that you need to provide kids with love, structure , discipline and a framework whereby they can be gainfully occupied.

You never addressed the issue I directed to you. The fact is you most likely ran/played around just like any another kids, and using your logic, is it fair to say you had/have  a disorder as a result of doing what is essentially normal for a child to do? Probably not.

I think that is the point I was pointing out.

tensor777:
That's quite a fair observation.
These type of kids seem incapable of staying in one place or playing peacefully, and must drive their parents to distraction.
Not many parents back then knew about the kind of psychological disorders kids are prone to and how  they can be alleviated.

As a kid growing up, did you play in one place? When you mum ask you to play in the room, did you only played in the room and not ventured outside the room? Be honest. Is it then fair to say you have hyperactive disorder?

Yeah ask yourself how your own drivel relates to anything logical.

You have posted this filth before, and you cannot even offer anything to defend your view points. If people want to read conspiracy theories, they do know how to use Google.

Please tell me what qualification or authority you have that you can concluded that it was a cover up?

It may be because they do not know better, and do not want to be seen as "cheap". Once you understand the culture and environment it is happening, then you can understand things better. (My opinion off course)

john_blaze:
your response to my post tells alot about your level of maturity, if I may ask how old are you? For your information I will not be distracted by your comments, if you are uncomfortable with my comments, you have 2 option
1. Debate me on the issue(hope he understands what debate means)
2. Ignore my post

No, it tells you that you are a person. I have little respect for you with your conspiracy-mind set, and the fact that you posted some idiotic thread/post on the anniversary of the event in question.

My age? Look at it this way, I am not too old to know, and not so young that I am blinded by ignorance.

There is nothing to debate, people with more knowledge than you a thousand fold already debunked your shiiiit a million times over using real facts and not some shiiit put together by brainless slowpoke like yourself, but I guess your head is so deep in conspiracy jargon and buried in the sand of ignorance that you just cannot see this.

It is my choice as to whether I ignore your post or not, as it stand, I choose to breathe down your neck, and hit you with bricks and hammer. Deal with it.

Yes it should be a discussion about what the topic is, and not posting things that completely derails the thread.  You and your gang are good at this. How hard is it to stay on topic? You really do not have to post in every thread you know.

I won't say much on this, but using common sense once in a while is not such a bad thing you see.

MrBrownJay said it all really.

I will just like to add that Insecurities can ruin a relationship, well you just experienced that. It is also a difficult trait to get rid off in a woman, it will always be there and lead to mistrust, and then on to bigger issues.

Personally, I see no problem but you mentioned you gave her a kiss, (I am guessing you mean a harmless peck?) I am not sure what part of the world you are, but in naija, giving another woman a peck and a hug makes people go crazy.

Finally, kicking her out is wrong. You should have walked away instead or go to another part of the house.

@Davidylan

Lmao at waking up at night and calling your brother. Damn, it must have been one hell of a dream.

madlady:
Maybe it's because we wonder if we had done things differently "would we be together now" .

Possibly.  .   .

rokiatu:
What do you mean?

Any way to the topic, that will entirely depends on the reason for the break up. however I wouldn't mind giving the relationship
a second chance. Maybe you/whoever in this situation is realizing what a precious thing they have just lost.

Remember the phrase ' you never know what you have until you lose it?'  precisely that's the scenario we have here.
If you are the person in question, I advice you quit mucking around and go settle things with this ex of yours.

From what I know, it was a complex reason, but lack of trust and a parasitic mentality. You know, wanting to use one for their needs etc.

I have to agree that there is a urge to give it a go, but as Davidylan said, the grass may not necessarily be greener on the other side.

davidylan:
i think the best thing is to let sleeping dogs lie, there was a reason you left them in the first place. I guess the only thing to take away from such feelings is that sometimes the grass isnt greener on the other side and every woman isnt perfect. Been down that road before but the truth is, its only a matter of time before you begin to wonder why you went back a second time.

My take on this - find someone else. Dont be surprised if your new woman looks almost exactly like her.  

Easy . . . you're lonely . . . and now you're thinking the other chic did have some good sides that you would also like in a new mate. Now you're wondering if you made a bad mistake letting her go afterall the time taken looking for a new person could have been spent building a relationship with the one you lost.

But its life bro . . . you win some you lose some. I remember once waking up in the middle of the night and calling my brother to track down an ex for me after 2 yrs. now i laugh at my own naivety.

True words. I remember one that actually happened to me. Went back to naija, checked on Ex (was actually contemplating marriage as of then) but all the memories was blown out of water due to how much she (or me) has changed over the years. So yes, it may just be best to keep this feeling of "what if" in the head and not go beyond it.

As per the lonely bit, you may have struck a chord there. I haven't viewed it like that and it is weird to think it may be a possibility after years of moving on. I suppose it is exactly this feeling that drives this desire to want to "check it out" again.




@Ink Nerd
I was just paraphrasing - You met someone, dated them for a long time and after went each others way.

I think only you can be the captain of your life. My point? It is you that is dating this guy and not your mum. I am not so sure how your mum can then know him better. or predict the future. Also, what your mum is talking about is more or less relationship of others, it do not mean that yours will follow the same path.

It may be worth adding that equally, there are ton of successful marriages and relationship (that are probably similar to yours) that worked out, or is still working out.

EDIT
I won't say your mum is wrong but her statement is not always true.

Okay, get you know.

I think it helps a lot of people to tell their stories without holding back.

Well, it works for me I guess, and to be frank if my sister or anyone who knows me in person end up reading it, it makes no difference to me.

This thread is aimed at mature minds only. If you cannot be logical or display simple common sense, please stay away. Thanks.



So you meet someone and for whatever reason you guys went each others way. However, there comes a point, that you seem to forget the reasons as to why it never worked out, and deep down  you wish things were different.

You dream about this so called person sometimes that you actually wake up, and have the urge to give them a ring, or have the desire to actually find them. Now imagine this happening every once in a while. Will it be worth it to actually give such person a ring/find them or is it better to let sleeping dogs just be?


Also why do this keep happening after years of moving on.

Which post? I can only modify/edit my posted replies.

tpiah:
after careful consideration, i think a lot of naija kids might have had a mild or intense form of ADHD, which in nigeria generally goes undiagnosed and unecognized.

the hyperactivity [we put sugar even in garri] gets them in trouble more often than not, and they'll be branded deviant when the multiple beatings and punishments fail to "reform" their behaviour.


and since the older generation doesnt know or care about anything like that, more often than not they'll try to whip the kid into shape, which incidentally is one of the few behaviour modification methods practiced back home.

of course some of the things described here are plain wicked, but in instances where the parent meant well but was simply at their wits' end, some other factors like these ones may apply.

just my thoughts.

While I agree with you that there are unknown and undiagnosed cases of medical condition back home, I am however not so sure that some of the experiences here points at Hyperactivity disorder, instead, the pattern we seen emerging are just what in my humble opinion can be called poor Parent-to-children relationship due to the level of knowledge that was/is available to the society in which the parents function.

bawomolo:
this thread is still alive?

el razur- why didn't you go to your pop's funeral? and how did your family feel about this

The aftermath effect I suppose. Also family squabbles and I did have an exam. The strongest reason wasn't the exam, or the squabble, but the seed of resentment/hatred that blossomed in me back then I guess.

The family just accepted that I am now my own person and trying to pick up a fight with me is not worth it, as I am not that same ElRazur that was bullied around.


@OkwyRose

Man, that is just wrong on many levels - beating the Jesus out of your mum.

Some of the stories here, just goes to show how a lot things can be improved as per Parent-to-Parent and Parent-to-Child/Children relationship.





PS
Some stuff are just not worth going into on a forum.

Stalking each other and doing child's play-type-of-love on nairaland don't count am afraid.

So after all said and done now. Anyone actually in love/relationship/dating/really close as a result of this meet?

Put yourself first. Plan your life and you will be the one to enjoy it (and you will be able to help people back home too)

No one can make the decision for you, but yourself.

Two ways. In your browser press CTRL and + to increase the whole page (and CTRL - to decrease)

Second option is to "Accessibility options" in windows and enlarging the fonts from there.

Goodluck.

john_blaze:
I think before a person views is totally disregarded its imperative one looks at issues for both perspective before arriving at a conclusion. In the case of 9/11 I have examined the official 9/11 story as well the alternatives, the evidence of a cover-up is over whelming.

I'm sorry but you are a person. You can barely contribute into threads you post, string a sentence together or be logical with your thoughts, so what ever you examined will be flawed. That is, even if the truth is there staring you in the face you will still claim there is evidence of cover up.

tollu:
Now I'm not asking anybody te tell me "I love you", just don't

- Take out all you fraustrations on me cos u broke up with your husband
- Don't beat me to stupor just cos I "stole panla" from the pot on my birthday
- Don't accuse me of being a witch just cos I look like my paternal grandmother (LOL)
- Don't smack me senseless cos a cousin took pictures of me n my younger siblings
- Don't whip me with your tongue at any given opportunity



I cannot honestly say I love my mum. I understand her? Now I do but the damage is done.

You said  a whole lot of stuff there and I hope you can turn those past events into something positive.

I think you probably highlighted some of the reasons why your mum was probably like that, and sitting back now and reflecting it on it will probably give you an insight into her state of mind as of then.

As per the last statement, I have seen that same/similar theme reoccurring in this thread in my opinion, and while the damage may not or cannot be undone on our generation, I think it is vital that we break that trend and raise our kids via the best way we can. For example, you didn't like our your mum took out her frustration on you, and I am guessing you will most likely not do the same with your own off-spring etc.





On a lighter note, lol at those who played "table soccer" with "counters" (bottle tops). Damn, those were memories boy!  I also remember that massive ODIAKA book, you cannot fail your common entrance exam if you read that book lol. Back then it was like the bible for most Primary 5-6 pupils wanting to attempt the Common entrance exam back then.

Orilee9ice

In every thread, there is always someone who tries to be the black-sheep, or in this case a muppet, and I think you are starting to look like one.

You have posted some stuff that are very illogical, but allow me to explain. When I was in naija, I never knew that homosexuualls or gay people existed, but as I move outside the shores of Naija, a lot of things that I thought I knew was blown out of water and I had to learn new things etc. You see, there is nothing wrong for someone to be abused or hurt and not realise it while they are in naijiria until they moved outside.

Please engage some logic. Here is another example, it is not uncommon for people who were sexually molested in the catholic church to now come back after three decades or more to now talk about their experiences and even sue the church, I guess in your book, these people should keep mute and just get on with it?

If you feel you had a perfect childhood/teenage years/upbringing, then I am happy for you. It is however an insult to try and pour cold water on people expressing their experiences. Very immature and uncalled for at best. If you are not happy with what people are saying, it is perhaps best not to post as you are not exactly adding anything helpful to the thread at hand.

Dayokanu.

Thanks for the reply (can't quote you as it appears lost on the quoting screen)

Anyway, I noticed you dad did what exactly my dad would have done. I think to me, that is still wrong in my opinion, you weren't given a chance to express your feelings and instead it was a one way traffic, he probably felt better as a result, but what about you at the particular point? Was how you felt even taken into consideration? I guess he did the best in his eyes but not realising his actions are lacking in some areas (my opinion off course).

My sister employed similar tactics - There was once we all talked about the past and sharing stories, and when I talked about how she treated, it got to one of her son who thought that what his mum did was very wrong, and without my knowledge he later challenged my sister (whom I heard was close to tears). But guess what my sister did? She called me and made sure her husband was present and tried to give several justifications for her actions (most of it were false). In the end, her husband said it should end and he never wanted to hear about it again.

All this while, no one bothered to asked how it made me feel or the damage it did to me etc. Dude, needless to say I just left for my place after the so called "peace making meeting".

My point, perhaps these people should learn that two parties are involved and should really take their blames where it is needed and allow for all parties involve to truly heal.

davidylan:
Elrazur, as much as i sympathize with you i think you are assuming that your situation is indicative of the average nigerian parent. It really isnt. My father was a very strict disciplinarian but it was NEVER IN DOUBT how much this man loved each one of his sons. The same man who would not hesitate to lasso you with nepa cables would be the first to sell his shirt off his back just so we could eat, attend the best schools, defend you to the death in public. The same man who just finished calling you an  would be the first to go outside there and tell his friends how you were the best child that ever lived. My youngest brother doesnt have many stories like this to tell, infact i think my dad only ever touched him no more than 10 times all his life and that was because over the yrs my dad learnt that excessive flogging didnt make me any better than i would have ended up. and guess what, that same brother of mine gave my parents the worst headache. My dad used to proudly tell his friends how of all his sons, i was the one he can most vouch for to keep safe and do the right thing even in the absence of parental monitoring. The day i will never forget was the day my dad unreservedly apologised in tears for the way he treated me growing up . . . i understood him to a point, its hard to learn to love if you never had parents to show you love growing up urself.

He may have been a bad guy in some aspects . . . perhaps even abusive in some cases but he taught me to be a man, to be responsible, to NEVER settle for second best (at the pain of nepa cables) . . . if i were to choose another father - i know who i'll have thanks.

Now to address your points . . .

I have permanent scars on my arms and cheek (most have faded now) from excessive flogging . . . but is that enough reason for me to say i will never chastise my son? No way . . . the fact that it is VERY EASY to walk all over a mother is enough to tell me there is no substitute for a father's cane. My uncle is diff, he flogs his kids but he NEVER does it in anger . . . he waits a few days until he is calm, beats you and then gently tells you the reason and warns you not to try it again.

That some choose to fall into the abuse category does not mean flogging is wrong.

A tantrum excused today does not innocently disappear, it simply reinforces in the child that somehow, bad behaviour has no consequences.

I think what I have been saying is based on my own experience, I wont know what it is like for you as I never experienced the same thing you or anyone went through.  

Also it may be worth mentioning that it is not all gloomy and I did learn valuable lesson, but I think this thread is a focus on what they did that was wrong.

As per tantrum, it is just one of the normal things of childhood and expression of emotions. It is now up to the parent to strike a balance between letting a child be a child and shutting down their emotions.

I think it was more on page 9 or so. Your dad apologising (or was it something along the lines of making him see the error of his ways). I was just wondering if it gave you a relief that's all.