₦airaland Forum

She was my best friend, my succor, she was my life! This beautiful relationship of about 7 months had flourished so beautifully, we faced and conquered all odds, we waxed so strong together that I wondered why I just got to know her about a year ago (started dating 7 months ago). Everyday when I get to work we would talk for about one hour before I step into the office and we'd talk for about two hours before retiring to bed everyday. Please don't ask me what we get to talk about everyday for that long because even I often wonder how we got so glued to each other that we hardly wanted to end our calls each time. The age gap between us was just perfect and every other detail blended so perfectly that I was so sure she was the one I've been waiting for all my life. Gradually, I discarded all competition and decided to give this one my all. The reason is very obvious - the connection was simply incredible! She is God fearing, very homely, meek and has an interesting personality. She had her flaws too but who on earth doesn't?

Just two months ago I decided to take things a little further, secretly planned an engagement activity a day to her birthday with a renowned florist and a few of my friends. It was so lovely she almost fainted as I inserted my gold ring into her finger and popped the question.. The answer was a resounding Yes Yes Yes!!! The rest was merriment as we popped champagne and made toasts to a wonderful future ahead of us. Right there and then we began making plans concerning our introduction, traditional marriage ceremony and ultimately, white wedding. She was aghast with joy as she spread the news around to all her friends and instantly updated her Face Book status to "Engaged". Congratulatory messages were pouring from all corners while she took her time to respond to everyone of them.. She was so happy and so was I. My circle of friends were so proud of me for taking the bold step as they called me one after the other telling me how they cherished my boldness and wanted to be like me.

The joy and ecstasy throughout this period knew no bounds as I made important efforts to begin marriage proceedings. We finally agreed to Easter next year for white wedding. I went to meet with her father last month to get the traditional "list" of items to be procured for the introduction and traditional marriage ceremony. I was instantly 'approved' by her good looking and very gentle father who encouraged me and promised to support us in any way he could. Afterwards, I proceeded to meet with her pastor who after a brief interview approved of our relationship and only requested that we conduct a medical test (HIV, Hepatitis and Genotype) at the church hospital and present the results to him so he can forward same to their branch in Lagos where we intend to wed. We proceeded almost after the interview to the said hospital where we carried out the tests...and this was where our problems started!!!

How could I have been as 'AS' all these while and I didn't know?! My birth file has 'AA' on it, all the genotype tests I ever conducted during childhood and school days all turned out to be 'AA'. How come it has suddenly changed? Do people's genotype change? Did the hospitals back in the days make mistakes even the school hospital as well? What was going on? I queried rhetorically. My fiancee's genotype was 'AS' and she had told me this from the beginning while I on the other hand was so sure of my 'AA' genotype status that I didn't even bother to talk about it again. After this shocker I proceeded immediately to Lagos as I had reasons to doubt the result. I conducted 3 labs tests in total (in Lagos too) and the result came out the same. I was devastated!! So devastated I wept like a baby even in the presence of my friend who accompanied me and a few people around me noticed I was wailing uncontrollably. It was a memory I hope will erase with time as the mere thought of it makes me want to cry again. My fiancee already started weeping from the time the first test was conducted. She wept through it all so badly that I couldn't really recognize her the last time I saw her - She had lost so much weight that I was even scared of telling her!

From that moment, pressure increased on her part and frustration grew from mine. I grew so bitter I didn't know how to get help. We kept in touch, believing in God and Miracles (she inspires me too) while I also asked a few Medical practitioners to tell me what medicine has for people like us in 2013. All the answers were either against our faith or very expensive. In the midst of all these she stuck to me and I told her everything will be fine. Both my parents and hers felt so much for us that they promised to stand by whatever decision we decide to take. Although I got a few advices asking me to let her go, letting her out of my sight was simply not in my agenda - I strongly believed these tribulations was a matter of time and we would pull through somehow.

Then on Friday (6th Dec) she came visiting so we can discuss more on the way forward. What she didn't realize was that the frustration in me was growing so bad that it was affecting my sanity. I needed help but I didn't know how to get it - I always kept a cool face but knew I was boiling with depression inside. We hung out on the same day she came, watched a movie on return and retired to bed. The next day we had a huge misunderstanding. The quarrel was so bad I slapped her thrice and held her neck for a while. Within those few seconds of madness I uttered very insulting words and even demanded for my ring! At that point I looked at myself and knew I had lost it! In the last 15 years of active dating I never laid my hand on any woman - how could I have done this to the only woman I was supposed to love and care for? The only one who got to wear my ring?! It didn't make sense to me. I tried to maintain a straight face even while I begged her intensely but that wouldn't change her stance. Reported myself to my mum (whom she knows well), and told a married friend what I had done. He rushed over to the apartment and tried to talk with her. The events of that day and the next did not help matters, she got so cold towards me and wouldn't stop crying. Her mum is already late and I felt so bad for doing this to a poor girl who gave me her heart when I should have been acting out my undying love towards her. I am not really good with handling an already bad situation and many times I simply seek help on how to go about it. She grew even colder towards me and while still pleading for mercy, I would use words that she still found to be unpleasant. Finally at 2:30pm (Sunday) she packed her things and left my house to an unknown destination . I didn't seem to get anything right throughout this time of pleading - it appeared I made things even worse.

Please learn from my story... an edifice that took a year to build can be destroyed totally in just 5 minutes! In Warren Buffet's words - "It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently." Never in my entire adult life have I ever thought of or come close to hitting a lady. If you tell me I had that tendency I would argue with you because I detest men who do same. But this experience has just taught me that we can't afford to be languid.. Doing the right thing means making conscious efforts to do them and having back out plans whenever we are tempted to do otherwise. Another option is to stay away from loved ones when we are not okay mentally or psychologically. You could seek help during such periods from counselors and professionals who can walk you through it all. Sometimes you just can't be careful enough.. Do the needful while there's still time.

At the moment I can only cry and pray to God for assistance and intervention. I know my chances with her are pretty slim but I have no idea what tomorrow would bring.

Thanks for reading my story and hopefully you learnt something from it.


Cheers.

This is quite an interesting read.. Please digest and air your views on this write up!

"Just for fun I recently asked Erin, “Now that the kids are in summer school, don’t you think it’s about time you went out and got yourself a job? I hate seeing you wallow in unemployment for so long.”

She smiled and said, “Wow. I have been unemployed a really long time. That’s weird… I like it!”

Neither of us have had jobs since the ’90s (my only job was in 1992), so we’ve been self-employed for quite a while. In our household it’s a running joke for one of us to say to the other, “Maybe you should get a job, derelict!”

It’s like the scene in The Three Stooges where Moe tells Curly to get a job, and Curly backs away, saying, “No, please… not that! Anything but that!”

It’s funny that when people reach a certain age, such as after graduating college, they assume it’s time to go out and get a job. But like many things the masses do, just because everyone does it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. In fact, if you’re reasonably intelligent, getting a job is one of the worst things you can do to support yourself. There are far better ways to make a living than selling yourself into indentured servitude.

Here are some reasons you should do everything in your power to avoid getting a job:

1. Income for dummies.

Getting a job and trading your time for money may seem like a good idea. There’s only one problem with it. It’s stupid! It’s the stupidest way you can possibly generate income! This is truly income for dummies.

Why is getting a job so dumb? Because you only get paid when you’re working. Don’t you see a problem with that, or have you been so thoroughly brainwashed into thinking it’s reasonable and intelligent to only earn income when you’re working? Have you never considered that it might be better to be paid even when you’re not working? Who taught you that you could only earn income while working? Some other brainwashed employee perhaps?

Don’t you think your life would be much easier if you got paid while you were eating, sleeping, and playing with the kids too? Why not get paid 24/7? Get paid whether you work or not. Don’t your plants grow even when you aren’t tending to them? Why not your bank account?

Who cares how many hours you work? Only a handful of people on this entire planet care how much time you spend at the office. Most of us won’t even notice whether you work 6 hours a week or 60. But if you have something of value to provide that matters to us, a number of us will be happy to pull out our wallets and pay you for it. We don’t care about your time — we only care enough to pay for the value we receive. Do you really care how long it took me to write this article? Would you pay me twice as much if it took me 6 hours vs. only 3?

Non-dummies often start out on the traditional income for dummies path. So don’t feel bad if you’re just now realizing you’ve been suckered. Non-dummies eventually realize that trading time for money is indeed extremely dumb and that there must be a better way. And of course there is a better way. The key is to de-couple your value from your time.

Smart people build systems that generate income 24/7, especially passive income. This can include starting a business, building a web site, becoming an investor, or generating royalty income from creative work. The system delivers the ongoing value to people and generates income from it, and once it’s in motion, it runs continuously whether you tend to it or not. From that moment on, the bulk of your time can be invested in increasing your income (by refining your system or spawning new ones) instead of merely maintaining your income.

This web site is an example of such a system. At the time of this writing, it generates about $9000 a month in income for me (update: $40,000 a month as of 10/31/06), and it isn’t my only income stream either. I write each article just once (fixed time investment), and people can extract value from them year after year. The web server delivers the value, and other systems (most of which I didn’t even build and don’t even understand) collect income and deposit it automatically into my bank account. It’s not perfectly passive, but I love writing and would do it for free anyway. But of course it cost me a lot of money to launch this business, right? Um, yeah, $9 is an awful lot these days (to register the domain name). Everything after that was profit.

Sure it takes some upfront time and effort to design and implement your own income-generating systems. But you don’t have to reinvent the wheel — feel free to use existing systems like ad networks and affiliate programs. Once you get going, you won’t have to work so many hours to support yourself. Wouldn’t it be nice to be out having dinner with your spouse, knowing that while you’re eating, you’re earning money? If you want to keep working long hours because you enjoy it, go right ahead. If you want to sit around doing nothing, feel free. As long as your system continues delivering value to others, you’ll keep getting paid whether you’re working or not.

Your local bookstore is filled with books containing workable systems others have already designed, tested, and debugged. Nobody is born knowing how to start a business or generate investment income, but you can easily learn it. How long it takes you to figure it out is irrelevant because the time is going to pass anyway. You might as well emerge at some future point as the owner of income-generating systems as opposed to a lifelong wage slave. This isn’t all or nothing. If your system only generates a few hundred dollars a month, that’s a significant step in the right direction.

2. Limited experience.

You might think it’s important to get a job to gain experience. But that’s like saying you should play golf to get experience playing golf. You gain experience from living, regardless of whether you have a job or not. A job only gives you experience at that job, but you gain ”experience” doing just about anything, so that’s no real benefit at all. Sit around doing nothing for a couple years, and you can call yourself an experienced meditator, philosopher, or politician.

The problem with getting experience from a job is that you usually just repeat the same limited experience over and over. You learn a lot in the beginning and then stagnate. This forces you to miss other experiences that would be much more valuable. And if your limited skill set ever becomes obsolete, then your experience won’t be worth squat. In fact, ask yourself what the experience you’re gaining right now will be worth in 20-30 years. Will your job even exist then?

Consider this. Which experience would you rather gain? The knowledge of how to do a specific job really well — one that you can only monetize by trading your time for money – or the knowledge of how to enjoy financial abundance for the rest of your life without ever needing a job again? Now I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have the latter experience. That seems a lot more useful in the real world, wouldn’t you say?

3. Lifelong domestication.

Getting a job is like enrolling in a human domestication program. You learn how to be a good pet.

Look around you. Really look. What do you see? Are these the surroundings of a free human being? Or are you living in a cage for unconscious animals? Have you fallen in love with the color beige?

How’s your obedience training coming along? Does your master reward your good behavior? Do you get disciplined if you fail to obey your master’s commands?

Is there any spark of free will left inside you? Or has your conditioning made you a pet for life?

Humans are not meant to be raised in cages. You poor thing…

4. Too many mouths to feed.

Employee income is the most heavily taxed there is. In the USA you can expect that about half your salary will go to taxes. The tax system is designed to disguise how much you’re really giving up because some of those taxes are paid by your employer, and some are deducted from your paycheck. But you can bet that from your employer’s perspective, all of those taxes are considered part of your pay, as well as any other compensation you receive such as benefits. Even the rent for the office space you consume is considered, so you must generate that much more value to cover it. You might feel supported by your corporate environment, but keep in mind that you’re the one paying for it.

Another chunk of your income goes to owners and investors. That’s a lot of mouths to feed.

It isn’t hard to understand why employees pay the most in taxes relative to their income. After all, who has more control over the tax system? Business owners and investors or employees?

You only get paid a fraction of the real value you generate. Your real salary may be more than triple what you’re paid, but most of that money you’ll never see. It goes straight into other people’s pockets.

What a generous person you are!

5. Way too risky.

Many employees believe getting a job is the safest and most secure way to support themselves.

Morons.

Social conditioning is amazing. It’s so good it can even make people believe the exact opposite of the truth.

Does putting yourself in a position where someone else can turn off all your income just by saying two words (“You’re fired”) sound like a safe and secure situation to you? Does having only one income stream honestly sound more secure than having 10?

The idea that a job is the most secure way to generate income is just silly. You can’t have security if you don’t have control, and employees have the least control of anyone. If you’re an employee, then your real job title should be professional gambler.

6. Having an evil bovine master.

When you run into an idiot in the entrepreneurial world, you can turn around and head the other way. When you run into an idiot in the corporate world, you have to turn around and say, “Sorry, boss.”

Did you know that the word boss comes from the Dutch word baas, which historically means master? Another meaning of the word boss is “a cow or bovine.” And in many video games, the boss is the evil dude that you have to kill at the end of a level.

So if your boss is really your evil bovine master, then what does that make you? Nothing but a turd in the herd.

Who’s your daddy?

7. Begging for money.

When you want to increase your income, do you have to sit up and beg your master for more money? Does it feel good to be thrown some extra Scooby Snacks now and then?

Or are you free to decide how much you get paid without needing anyone’s permission but your own?

If you have a business and one customer says “no” to you, you simply say “next.”

8. An inbred social life.

Many people treat their jobs as their primary social outlet. They hang out with the same people working in the same field. Such incestuous relations are social dead ends. An exciting day includes deep conversations about the company’s switch from Sparkletts to Arrowhead, the delay of Microsoft’s latest operating system, and the unexpected delivery of more Bic pens. Consider what it would be like to go outside and talk to strangers. Ooooh… scary! Better stay inside where it’s safe.

If one of your co-slaves gets sold to another master, do you lose a friend? If you work in a male-dominated field, does that mean you never get to talk to women above the rank of receptionist? Why not decide for yourself whom to socialize with instead of letting your master decide for you? Believe it or not, there are locations on this planet where free people congregate. Just be wary of those jobless folk — they’re a crazy bunch!

9. Loss of freedom.

It takes a lot of effort to tame a human being into an employee. The first thing you have to do is break the human’s independent will. A good way to do this is to give them a weighty policy manual filled with nonsensical rules and regulations. This leads the new employee to become more obedient, fearing that s/he could be disciplined at any minute for something incomprehensible. Thus, the employee will likely conclude it’s safest to simply obey the master’s commands without question. Stir in some office politics for good measure, and we’ve got a freshly minted mind slave.

As part of their obedience training, employees must be taught how to dress, talk, move, and so on. We can’t very well have employees thinking for themselves, now can we? That would ruin everything.

God forbid you should put a plant on your desk when it’s against the company policy. Oh no, it’s the end of the world! Cindy has a plant on her desk! Summon the enforcers! Send Cindy back for another round of sterility training!

Free human beings think such rules and regulations are silly of course. The only policy they need is: “Be smart. Be nice. Do what you love. Have fun.”

10. Becoming a coward.

Have you noticed that employed people have an almost endless capacity to whine about problems at their companies? But they don’t really want solutions – they just want to vent and make excuses why it’s all someone else’s fault. It’s as if getting a job somehow drains all the free will out of people and turns them into spineless cowards. If you can’t call your boss a jerk now and then without fear of getting fired, you’re no longer free. You’ve become your master’s property.

When you work around cowards all day long, don’t you think it’s going to rub off on you? Of course it will. It’s only a matter of time before you sacrifice the noblest parts of your humanity on the altar of fear: first courage… then honesty… then honor and integrity… and finally your independent will. You sold your humanity for nothing but an illusion. And now your greatest fear is discovering the truth of what you’ve become.

I don’t care how badly you’ve been beaten down. It is never too late to regain your courage. Never!

Still want a job?

If you’re currently a well-conditioned, well-behaved employee, your most likely reaction to the above will be defensiveness. It’s all part of the conditioning. But consider that if the above didn’t have a grain of truth to it, you wouldn’t have an emotional reaction at all. This is only a reminder of what you already know. You can deny your cage all you want, but the cage is still there. Perhaps this all happened so gradually that you never noticed it until now… like a lobster enjoying a nice warm bath.

If any of this makes you mad, that’s a step in the right direction. Anger is a higher level of consciousness than apathy, so it’s a lot better than being numb all the time. Any emotion — even confusion — is better than apathy. If you work through your feelings instead of repressing them, you’ll soon emerge on the doorstep of courage. And when that happens, you’ll have the will to actually do something about your situation and start living like the powerful human being you were meant to be instead of the domesticated pet you’ve been trained to be.

Happily jobless

What’s the alternative to getting a job? The alternative is to remain happily jobless for life and to generate income through other means. Realize that you earn income by providing value — not time – so find a way to provide your best value to others, and charge a fair price for it. One of the simplest and most accessible ways is to start your own business. Whatever work you’d otherwise do via employment, find a way to provide that same value directly to those who will benefit most from it. It takes a bit more time to get going, but your freedom is easily worth the initial investment of time and energy. Then you can buy your own Scooby Snacks for a change.

And of course everything you learn along the way, you can share with others to generate even more value. So even your mistakes can be monetized.

One of the greatest fears you’ll confront is that you may not have any real value to offer others. Maybe being an employee and getting paid by the hour is the best you can do. Maybe you just aren’t worth that much. That line of thinking is all just part of your conditioning. It’s absolute nonsense. As you begin to dump such brainwashing, you’ll soon recognize that you have the ability to provide enormous value to others and that people will gladly pay you for it. There’s only one thing that prevents you from seeing this truth — fear.

All you really need is the courage to be yourself. Your real value is rooted in who you are, not what you do. The only thing you need actually do is express your real self to the world. You’ve been told all sort of lies as to why you can’t do that. But you’ll never know true happiness and fulfillment until you summon the courage to do it anyway.

The next time someone says to you, “Get a job,” I suggest you reply as Curly did: ”No, please… not that! Anything but that!” Then poke him right in the eyes.

You already know deep down that getting a job isn’t what you want. So don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise. Learn to trust your inner wisdom, even if the whole world says you’re wrong and foolish for doing so. Years from now you’ll look back and realize it was one of the best decisions you ever made."

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/07/10-reasons-you-should-never-get-a-job/

Eze Promoe: Don't take this too serious. She isn't suffering from any mental slavery, she's just a true African woman who knows the value of a husband and would not afford to lose him to cheap pride of the heart.

On point! Me like..

carefreewannabe: No, she said MOST TIMES and 70 % of NIGERIAN women "help men" to give them beatings. That's the difference. I am definitely not on the same page with her.
It's very nice of you that you want to make peace but I see no problem in disagreeing with people. And I will never compromise my view on domestic violence, coming from whichever side, male or female.

Yeah the 70% figure might not be totally correct as there was no reference to any particular record book. We all know how these things play out in a typical Nigerian setting - most of the cases of wife battery I've heard of started with incessant nagging from the women, I feel that was why she said what she said. But it's okay.. You have a good point too.

carefreewannabe: I am not saying women have the right to insult their husbands / boyfriends.
Yet, nobody has the right to hit another person. And I don't care if it's a a man hitting the woman or the woman hitting the man. Simple!

You guys are just over flogging this issue.. From all I see so far everyone is on the same page! I haven't read anyone here saying yes to wife battery or physical abuse whatsoever. Vivian too isn't saying yes to wife battery but you are making it look like she's endorsed it! She only added a new line to it - women, help the men. Watch your tongue! How is that a bad advice? I see nothing wrong in that oh..

carefreewannabe: She said MOST TIMES women are not innocent and it bothers me.
And I will stick to my opinion: NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO HIT ANOTHER PERSON!
If your wife lacks proper behavior, why the hell have you married her at all?

She must have said so because she's trying to be fair to both sexes and for me that's okay.
I understand where you are coming from.. Tongues are free to wag but thou shall Not Hit first! You know most men are really not good at nagging and tend to respond in other ways like walking away. You don't always expect them to do what some women are best known for. Like I said before, mature men are expected to control their impulses; and women are expected to watch their mouths too. I don't know how else to explain this.

Shollypopz: I do have a father and I respect mine.

U need to check again d dictionary meaning of the word respect cos u're known to use words u don't know the meaning of carelessly. So according to you, ur mum deserves to be beaten when she uses demeaning words on your father. LMAO, you and this ur slave-like mentality

Here's a link, u're welcome.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/respect

@ Sholly, try and understand the point Vivian is making. I really do not think she supports men physically abusing their women. The point is - women should not hide under the shadows of 'being weaker' to wreck havocs with their mouths. Some men who have beaten their women will tell you they were pushed to the wall and I can just imagine those scenarios. Men should learn to control their impulses while women too have a lot of 'mouth controlling' to do, lol. Self control should come from both sides. Expecting men to have all the self control and then freeing women to wag their tongues freely isn't fair..

I think love is real.. But most pple just don't understand it!
em, looks like u r hrt broken sef

Em.. U got urself into the whole wahala when u traded the devil u knew for the angel u never really knew. Sometimes we bcom guilty of sabotaging the simple, loving relationship we once had for a more complicated chic who doesn't even know whr u started from..
Funny thing is b4 u realise what u r doing 2 yourself it bcoms too late to retrace. It's gud u r opening up now.. Be careful Bro, if ur former chic is still available bera go back to her asap b4 someone else takes you off her mind completely.. Nuff said.

Hmmmm..

@ neksummi, mine started about 3 yrs ago when I became so curious concerning guys who claimed to make legitimate bucks online. I had just finished doing my NYSC back then and while applying for jobs, I decided to spend most of my free time online trying out different programs. This was quite easy for me since I had a laptop with a modem (data recharges were made monthly by a generous uncle). Within 4 months I had tried to make money from MLM, data entry, online surveys, HYIP and much later Adsense.

My first ever earning online came from data entry in the sum of $205 for which I was later scammed, lol! (I had used the paypal account of someone I hardly knew to collect my earnings who then disappeared as soon as the money hit his account). Anyway I never gave up all the way as I kept trying out new things.. I also built my first free websites through the free services of webs.com and the likes. Even after I got a job in the telecoms industry about six months after NYSC I refused to give up on my online dream. Notable internet marketing gurus like Adeel and Gauher Chaudhry, Mark Ling, Michael Rasmussen, Perry Marshal, Jeff Johnson, Mike Filsaime, Eben Pagan and the likes influenced me a great deal. These are guys that make at least six figures every month online. I browsed their websites, bought their products and tried to replicate what they do. It wasn't easy combining my regular job functions with my online research but somehow, I strongly believed that abandoning my online project is something that must not happen. As long as these guys make good money online, I hoped I would do same in no time.

To cut the whole story short, today I make at least four figures each month online doing internet marketing. I have lots of websites amongst which are insurancepolicyrate.com, schoolanddegrees.com, ipayadvance.com, onlinedegreecentre.com, hotnaturalproducts.com, affiliatesace.com and a few others all of which make me money on a consistent basis. I also need to mention at the point that I don't do adsense because of all the wahala that comes with it. I have some solid partnerships with strong affiliate networks in the USA whom I work with via the instrumentality of my websites. All I can say is that internet money is real and I am a first class witness to that!

Nothing at all gives greater satisfaction than knowing that if tomorrow you wake up and suddenly realize your job is gone, you will still have businesses that fetch you much more money than salaried jobs can ever fetch you..

Lots of questions in my mind begging for answers..

Well, since you are no longer sure of this guy's feelings towards you and you obviously like him, I'll advise you to work out a hrt to hrt talk with him and more importantly - give him more than enough space to sort himself out! You can't successfully force yourself into the life of an obviously confused guy. You may only end up pushing him further away.
You said he doesn't share his feelings with you, didn't you take note of that before you started dating him? Or was it that he 'expressed' the same feelings when he was still wooing you?

Just be laid back, do your thing and don't force yourself on him. He would eventually come around totally if he realises that you are precious to him.

Onegai: Nothing wrong with playing your cards, just don't accept all you see as the truth. Because I've seen too many people complain they didn't realise the other person was like that.

True. There's a lot of falsehood involved in playing cards. Unfortunately that's what pple tend to fall for all the time..
Be your natural (boring, stalking, truthful, predictable etc) self and you may end up not having even one person appreciate you 4 you. Funny!

**clears throat**

Em, which one is better btw:
- Playing your cards right to make him/her fall for you or;
- Becoming a looser yourself and then having no one look your way at all?
Aside from the very few 'natural' card/game players out there, I believe pple 'play cards right' because they realised it's suddenly working for them..

But then again - If you got him/her by playing your cards right then bera be prepared to continue playing those cards for as long as you intend to keep that fire burning.

Some of you just allow yourselves to be messed up terribly inside out!
Don't know where to begin my advice from.. Brb

shymmex: @Emmerlee

Can you share your experience with me?

Shymmex, I hope to produce an interesting piece someday concerning my voyages with the ladies right from the very beginning.
However, the lessons are always the same for the guys at the end of the day..

Truth is when it comes to the beautiful ladies and our relationship with them, there are rules of engagement ohhh! Ignore the rules at your own peril.

It is well Bro.

Ok.. ok..
Make sure not to 'fall in love' again when another 'special' girl blow you off your feet tomorrow. Hehehe!
PS: NEVER, Ever stalk a girl! Don't!!

[quote author=Cork-Mr link=topic=543725.msg7062391#msg7062391 date=1288694886]Warfibabe (f), madam, [b]u the most beaitifullest woman I ever seen in my life,

and I want u to be the Sugar in my Sugarcane!! [/b][/quote]Kai, na so una dey always talk, Abeg make una no give the new chick negative impression about nairaland o, lol

@ Warfibabe, you just dey flow like say you don tay for nairaland sef. I dey feel your flows jor, carry go!

Omo that will be hard if she's not my WIFE oh! You caused d avoidable wahala by attempting to know all her bank details and passwords in the first place. Now that you know hers, refusing to disclose yours would not be fair. You should know that she's just your girl so anything can still happen in future.
It also depends on what you mean by bank account and credit card details. Her having your bank account information might still be okay since your signature will be needed for transactions however, if it ever comes to giving out your ATM pin to her, my hand nor just dey o.

@topic, it will be lame to believe that university degree automatically equals making money,

There just doesn't appear to be any obvious relationship between formal education and strong business acumen. In fact, going by historical anticidents, it seems that money making qualities are simply inate and does not depend on university or whatever degree. Besides, over 90% of individuals do not go to school to learn how to make money but to study science and arts.

Ah! Who's asking that kind of question at this time and age? Of course forex trading is very much real and has produced several millionaires today. However, majority of forex traders today had at one point or the other lost money especially when initially starting out as novices,
A lot of factors determine how successful a forex trader can be among which is discipline, strong analytical skills, access to live economic and currency news, smartness and of course, an element of Luck!
Some forex platforms are unnecessarily bogus and makes forex trading appear complicated. If you are affected in this regards you may want to consider using another forex broker.

Ah! Who's asking that kind of question at this time and age?? Of course forex trading is very much real and has made lots of people millionaires today. However, majority of the traders had lost money at one time or the other especially when starting out initially as novices,
A lot of factors determine your success in forex trading among which is discipline, strong analytical skills, access to latest economic and currency news, smartness and of course, an element of Luck!
Some forex platforms do not also help matters as they make forex trading unnecessarily complicated. If that applies to you then you may have to reconsider using a better forex broker.

Hmm! 50% return on investment, in how many weeks/months/years? See as email addresses just dey fly around. So many 'make money' information materials these days!

Hey Daniel! I wouldn't mind having the info on sports betting as well. Plz do well by sending the details to dailydollarsinfo@yahoo.com

platinumnk:
Well, would[b] I [/b] reccomend this?  not really because everyone is different, I liked it because I saw myself in the position, i have a bad habit of wanting control , but this could be good for ladies, so they wont be so soft

Too much bagging on a man, he will think you are whipped and think he can mess over you
Always keep an asset on the side- whether you are buying liquidated properties , or running a salon, make sure u have more than a man to rely on

Have outside friends, dress sexy, keep him on his toes, because he knows others are creaming for his spot

Thats what I saw in his posts, I dont agree with the cheating. I cant tolerate it for nothing, and I have never cheated.

Wanting control is Bad habit? Nah! It's no bad habit cos that's what you all need deep within yourselves, someone who's man enough to manipulate and control your emotions as well as the affairs of the relationship.

Guy your post makes a lot of sense to experienced pple like moi. I wish ma fellow guys will get wiser and learn how to maintain real control rather that act like weaklings all the time. Nice one jor!