carefreewannabe:

1. What are these things that "FORCE" a man to beat his wife? If a wife insults her husband at the slightest provocation, then he probably married the wrong woman. They better divorce! This is not marriage, this is war.

2. "I watched a soap opera ..." You better read a good book. Just suggesting. I don't care about soap operas and I don't accept such examples. Let's stick to real life situations.

3. If a man marries a lady who can't control her mouth and lacks proper behavior, he is a jerk, otherwise, why did he marry her?

4. You said MOST TIMES ladies who are beaten up, aren't innocent implying that they push their husbands. And I tell you that you have no idea and that your statement is very dangerous. Ladies like that exist for sure but before you make such statements when it comes to such sensitive issues, think twice. If you want to receive beatings because you made a mistake, that's your choice, I hope the beatings will not leave any permanent injuries and I hope your children won't have to watch their mama being beaten up BECAUSE SHE DID "SOMETHING WRONG". I consider myself a normal human being and I make mistakes, which doesn't justify any beating, not even from my parents.

vivian chinaza:

My dear, some things are just beyond you until you are faced with situations like that. Thank God you agreed that there are most ladies who can't control their mouths..........then saying men who married them are jerks is you being fallacious and sentimental........so let me ask you this question; how would a man know? You think is by dating? Do you know how many people that have said "oh, this is not the same man/woman that I married?

Before you get all sentimental and jump down my throat, I was actually talking about those women that can't control their mouths.

Emmerlee:

@ Sholly, try and understand the point Vivian is making. I really do not think she supports men physically abusing their women. The point is - women should not hide under the shadows of 'being weaker' to wreck havocs with their mouths. Some men who have beaten their women will tell you they were pushed to the wall and I can just imagine those scenarios. Men should learn to control their impulses while women too have a lot of 'mouth controlling' to do, lol. Self control should come from both sides. Expecting men to have all the self control and then freeing women to wag their tongues freely isn't fair..

@Vivian Chinanza:

"cos u're a trash that needs to be dumped in the trash can"

vivian chinaza:

Thank you jare.

@carefreewannabe; I don't know if you stay in US where some men smoke crack, come home and pounce on their wives.

But here in Nigeria........70% of wives who got beaten up by their husbands is as a result of their "running" mouth.
No one wants to stay in an abusive relationship.......it hurts just the way it kills a man when the wife rains insult on him ceaselessly. Mr. A might put up with it and Mr. B might not.

If all saying is this, if these 70% of women can control their mouths, it will lessen the percentage of it all.

Its just like the bible quotation that says children should obey their parents and parents should not push their children to the wall by provocation.

carefreewannabe:

She said MOST TIMES women are not innocent and it bothers me.
And I will stick to my opinion: NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO HIT ANOTHER PERSON!
If your wife lacks proper behavior, why the hell have you married her at all?

carefreewannabe:

I was thinking the same. First I got angry, then I felt sorry for her.

Emmerlee:

She must have said so because she's trying to be fair to both sexes and for me that's okay.
I understand where you are coming from.. Tongues are free to wag but thou shall Not Hit first! You know most men are really not good at nagging and tend to respond in other ways like walking away. You don't always expect them to do what some women are best known for. Like I said before, mature men are expected to control their impulses; and women are expected to watch their mouths too. I don't know how else to explain this.

lola.luv:


Gawdamn!! You got to be kidding me!

Emmerlee:

She must have said so because she's trying to be fair to both sexes and for me that's okay.
I understand where you are coming from.. Tongues are free to wag but thou shall Not Hit first! You know most men are really not good at nagging and tend to respond in other ways like walking away. You don't always expect them to do what some women are best known for. Like I said before, mature men are expected to control their impulses; and women are expected to watch their mouths too. I don't know how else to explain this.

Shollypopz:
I'm telling you, if u read some of her other posts, u'll feel like crying for her.

She says things like; "I'll rather see a man cheat than a woman cheat", "women shouldn't rub shoulders with men", "men are men and it's high time we learn to deal with it"(in terms of innate urge to cheat)

vivian chinaza: I don't support a guy physically abusing a lady but most ladies should check themselves. Most times the ladies are not completely innocent in the case. No guy has ever raised his hands on me before and I have never done anything to warrant that. So if I really did something wrong and he slaps me? I'd suck it up. But if he lay his hands on me for no just cause? I'd end the relationship, his azz will be thrown in jail or my brothers will give him the beating of his life.

carefreewannabe:

I didn't say MOST WOMEN can't control their mouths. Not in my world.
And i am not jumping down your throat. I am expressing my view.
The bold one is valid for you. you have no idea what you're talking about. Sorry.
Believe me, there are better ways to handle a woman than to beat her up. Once violence becomes part of a relationship, there is no respect. The couple should either seek help or divorce. It can only become worse. You have no idea what you're talking about. Pray you'll NEVER have to endure violence in your marriage.
End of discussion.

Shollypopz:
Goddammit!! This 'bolded' is beyond sad! This lady is in real mental bondage and she's refusing freedom!

Listen Vivian u deserve better, no man has a right to lay his hands on you, no right whatsoever!!

carefreewannabe:

I am not saying women have the right to insult their husbands / boyfriends.
Yet, nobody has the right to hit another person. And I don't care if it's a a man hitting the woman or the woman hitting the man. Simple!

Rocktation:

Wife beaters almost never put their hands on other men that 'runs their mouths'.

vivian chinaza: I don't support a guy physically abusing a lady but most ladies should check themselves. Most times the ladies are not completely innocent in the case. No guy has ever raised his hands on me before and I have never done anything to warrant that. So if I really did something wrong and he slaps me? I'd suck it up. But if he lay his hands on me for no just cause? I'd end the relationship, his azz will be thrown in jail or my brothers will give him the beating of his life.

vivian chinaza:

I won't endure violence and I won't cause it!...........most men/women that beat up their spouses did so out of anger. All I'm saying is, let us help them control it by controlling our mouths.

Personally, I'm very sensitive to words and I have got a terrible temper....., so I try to tell any man around me so that scenes like that could be avoided. So I try to control my temper and he helps me by controlling his actions.

Men should have self control and women should help them in doing that by controlling their own mouths.

Shollypopz:
Goddammit!! This 'bolded' is beyond sad! This lady is in real mental bondage and she's refusing freedom!

Listen Vivian u deserve better, no man has a right to lay his hands on you, no right whatsoever!!

vivian chinaza:

yes I deserve better, that's why I plan on giving him the best......cos when I give him my best he will be a better man to me.

I don't wanna experience the bad side so I won't stir it up.

Btw, the only modern mentality I have seen in you so far is "fuccck yous" and "dicck heads" which to me still belong to the trash.

Beync: [b]

are u serious?
so any time u wrong him, you'd set you chins and receive slaps?
what's the difference between slaping and laying his hands on you?

from what you have writen, when he slaps you, you suck it up.
but when he lays his hands on you,your brothers'll give him the beating of his life.
so you prefer slapping to beating

Shollypopz: .......I'm a trash because I don't conform to ur slave-like opinion on what a woman is?? Or my opinions are trash?? Known for ur misuse and lack of understanding of basic English words, I'll dismiss ur use of trash and add it to one of ur many display of limpid st*upidity.

Research by Dr. Barnett said batterers often feel justified in battering because they were reared in an environment -- whether a family or neighborhood -- where violence was accepted as a proper method for solving problems or enforcing the rules. Between 40% and 70% of batterers in clinical samples have been exposed to abuse in childhood.
Reasons most batterers give for lashing out physically:

They are letting out their violent feelings. Anger and its attendant violence are pent up and demand a release.
They "want to get her attention." The victim was hysterical or refused to listen, so the man struck her.
They want to show her who is the boss, gaining or maintaining control of the situation or her behavior.
They want to teach her a lesson or get revenge for some wrong, whether real or perceived.

It's very sad every time I see ur post cos it says so much of the bigot environment you grew up in. The main reason for domestic violence has never been because women run their mouth. Some men use that as an excuse and hv been able to make silly women believe in the bullsh1t. Once you results to violence especially with a weaker specie (in terms of physical strength), it has everything to do with you and not the woman.

Now, there's nothing a woman can say to deserve beating or warrant physical abuse. A man chooses to be violent on his wife because of supposed demeaning words shows the psychological, poor self-esteem, mental and anger issues he's dealing with.

carefreewannabe:

I am not saying women have the right to insult their husbands / boyfriends.
Yet, nobody has the right to hit another person. And I don't care if it's a a man hitting the woman or the woman hitting the man. Simple!

carefreewannabe:


You are so naive. Good luck to you though, hope your best will be enough.

Emmerlee:

You guys are just over flogging this issue.. From all I see so far everyone is on the same page! I haven't read anyone here saying yes to wife battery or physical abuse whatsoever. Vivian too isn't saying yes to wife battery but you are making it look like she's endorsed it! She only added a new line to it - women, help the men. Watch your tongue! How is that a bad advice? I see nothing wrong in that oh..

Shollypopz:
Goddammit!! This 'bolded' is beyond sad! This lady is in real mental bondage and she's refusing freedom!

Listen Vivian u deserve better, no man has a right to lay his hands on you, no right whatsoever!!

Emmerlee:

You guys are just over flogging this issue.. From all I see so far everyone is on the same page! I haven't read anyone here saying yes to wife battery or physical abuse whatsoever. Vivian too isn't saying yes to wife battery but you are making it look like she's endorsed it! She only added a new line to it - women, help the men. Watch your tongue! How is that a bad advice? I see nothing wrong in that oh..

vivian chinaza:

And you are so experienced, so when u get married make sure u abuse your husband with words.......there is a 50% chance that you will get beaten.......then divorce his azz....that's your business.

As for me, I deserve better and my husband deserves better too.

vivian chinaza:

Don't mind them....will there sentiments allow them to see that? I won't support a man that beats his wife and I won't support a woman that runs her mouth......

Men should not beat their wives, women should learn how to control their mouths....period!

vivian chinaza:

yes I deserve better, that's why I plan on giving him the best......cos when I give him my best he will be a better man to me.

I don't wanna experience the bad side so I won't stir it up.

Btw, the only modern mentality I have seen in you so far is "fuccck yous" and "dicck heads" which to me still belong to the trash.

carefreewannabe:

Why should I insult my husband? My mama taught me better.