₦airaland Forum

Iyawo22:
You know yourself are you even a virgin?

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided its self on the amount of SHIT it gives our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Representative at either the Senate or house of rep who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The E.V.I.L. (Economic Value of Individual Lives) Committee

Rubbish



Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided its self on the amount of SHIT it gives our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Representative at either the Senate or house of rep who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The E.V.I.L. (Economic Value of Individual Lives) Committee

Na who give am the ladder wey e take climb?




Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided its self on the amount of SHIT it gives our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Representative at either the Senate or house of rep who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The E.V.I.L. (Economic Value of Individual Lives) Committee

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided its self on the amount of SHIT it gives our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Representative at either the Senate or house of rep who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The E.V.I.L. (Economic Value of Individual Lives) Committee

I have been worried since I heard they are using virgins for rituals. Oh Lord, pls protect me

I have been worried since I heard they are using virgins for rituals. Oh Lord, pls protect me

I have been worried since I heard they are using virgins for rituals. Oh Lord, pls protect me

I have been worried since I heard they are using virgins for rituals. Oh Lord, pls protect me

I have been worried since I heard they are using virgins for rituals. Oh Lord, pls protect me

I have been worried since I heard they are using virgins for rituals. Oh Lord, pls protect me

I have been worried since I heard they are using virgins for rituals. Oh Lord, pls protect me

I have been worried since I heard they are using virgins for rituals. Oh Lord, pls protect me

Rubbish. It's not even a brown new car sef and na manual car mtcheeeeeew

Chei this babe dey hungry me

The whole thing is incomplete without her sex life and boyfriends

To enter this babe my prick no go fit rise at all, because no legs to hold me tight now

That's my man

Uyi168:
The babe boobi make sense o

which sense?all na packaging, let her bring them out, you go run

See as she squeezed the twins on her chest, they are finding it difficult to breath

Oloshos on rampage

Evablizin:
Congrats Sir.

my friend will you leave that place now and come and serve me my breakfast

timijoseph01:
I mentioned price.. click my signature if interested

you gree two for 20k?

I wish tonto dike a soonest recover

Rubbish

timijoseph01:
.
.
Meanwhile Got an Iphone X 250k and 8plus 220k for sale..
Lagos/Abk Only
See my sig

how much

E pain am. There is nothing as sweet as home made pusssssssy

Lalasticlala how far? You go register again for the 9th time?i fit borrow you the money to buy the form o

Abeg continue Jare, school have tire me

Rubbish. The risk involved makes sleeping with another man's wife, the sweetest. If you know you know

annnikky:

t doesn't change the fact that i dey gbadun you

..Am shedding tears as am reading this what a successful Man IBB is:::
IBB a man of Principle, intelligence and eloquence!
Here are his achievements:

1. Situating the ECOWAS Headquarters Secretariats in Abuja
2. International Conference Centre Abuja
3. Constr. FHA Estates Nationwide
4. Constr. High Court Building in the state
5. Constr. Federal Secretariat in all the state including Abuja
6. Constr. 2political Party Office in all the states
7. Constructed the divisional headquarters of Nigerian Army
8. Constructed the Military barracks in Abuja
9. Constructed the Nigerian Army School of Amour Bauchi
10. Constructed the Nigerian Army Amphibious school Calabar
11. Constructed the Quarters for the 4 GOCs
12. Constructed the Nigerian Navy dockyard
13. Constructed the Nigerian Dockyard Snack Island logos
14. Construction Estate for worker of Federal Ministry of Works & Housing (FMWH) Nationwide including FCT & Gwagwalada
15. Construction site & SVCc Satellite Towns of Isheri, Lagos, Gwagwalada, Abuja and Prototype Housing Schemes
16. Constructed Headquarters Federal Environment Protection Agency (FEPA) Abuja
17. Constructed Headquarters Federal Environment Protection Agency (FEPA) Zonal Offices Nationwide and Central Laboratory, Yaba, Lagos
18. Construction National Eye Centre, Kaduna
19. Constructed Aluminum Smelter company Ikot Abasi
20. Constructed the Federal Supreme Court Abuja
21. Constructed the Ajaokuta Steel Project Engineering Works
22. Constructed the Abuja International Airport Phrase I & II
23. Constructed the National Assembly Abuja
24. Constructed the Presidential Villa Abuja
25. Constructed the National Intelligence Agency (NIA) Headquarters Abufa
26. Constructed State Security Service (SSS) Abuja
27. Constructed Headquarters Federal Mortgage Bank of Nigeria (FMBN)Lagos
28. Constructed Headquarters Federal Mortgage Bank of Nigeria (FMBN) Abuja
29. Constructed the Federal Mortgage Bank of Nigeria (FMBN) Branches Nationwide
30. Constructed the Central Bank Headquarters Abuja
31. Constructed some Branches of Central Bank In the state
32. Constructed the Security & Minting Headquarters Abuja
33. Constructed Jabi District Abuja
34. Constructed Abuja Central Area Phase I & II
35. Constructed Asokoro AreaConstructed Gorki Phases I, II & III
36. Constructed Gadu District
37. Constructed Asokoro and Asokoro South West Extension I & II
38. Constructed Secretariat Building for each of the state created in 1991
39. Constructed the House of Assembly Complex for each of the states created in 1991
40. Constructed the judiciary building for cof the states created in 1991
41. Constructed Maitama General Hospital, Abuja
42. Constructed Wuse General Hospital, Abuja
43. Constructed Asokoro General Hospital, Abuja
44. Constructed State House Hospital, Abuja
45. Constructed National Hospital in the states
46. Gusau Water Supply Scheme
47. Asokoro Water Supply
48. Kubwa Water Supply
49. Abuja Municipal Water Supply
49. Gboko-Yandav Water Works
50. Boreholes for 1004 Housing Estate
51. Kaf in Zakl Dam
52. Challawa Dam
53. Lower Usman Dam
54. Padam Darn
55. Shiroro Hydroelectric
56. Egbin Power Thermal Station
67. Constructed Third Mainland Bridge, Lagos
68. Constructed the Bridge over River Niger at Tuga Village-Kebbi state
69. Constructed the Bridge over Mbo River, Akwa-lbom State
70. Constructed the 2 bridges in Kaura Namoda, Zamfara State
71. Constructed the bridges over Chanchaga river
72. Constructed the bridges over river Zungeru at Kaduna
73. Constructed the bridges over river Imo river
74. Major rehabilitation Eko bridge, Lagos State
75. Constructed Road Nembe-Brass, Bayelsa State
76. Constructed Road Kolo-Nembe, Bayelsa State
77. Constructed Yenogoa-Kolo, Bayelsa State
78. Constructed Road Bonny, Rivers State
79. Constructed Road Port-Harcourt-Degema, Bugama, Rivers State
80. Constructed Road Otukpo-Oju, Benue State
81. Constructed Bali-Jamtari Road, Taraba State
82. Constructed Mokwa-Tegina Road, Niger State
83. Constructed Road Lafia Doma, Nasarawa State
84. Constructed the Access Road to Gembu-Mambila Plateau, Taraba State
85. Constructed Road Asokoro, Nyanyan Karu, Abuja
86. Constructed Major Roads into Abuja from Suleja, Gwagalada, Aiport
87. Constructed Major & Secondary Roads within the FCT
88. Dualization of Ibadan-lfe Road, Oyo/Osun State
89. Dualization of Kaduna-Abuja Road, Kaduna, Niger State and FCT
90. Dualization of Warri-Benin Road, Delta State
91. Dualization of Kaduna Zaria-Kano Road, Kaduna/Kano State
92. Rehabilitation of Kaduna-Tegina Road, Kaduna/Niger State
93. Rehabilitation of Calabar Ikang-Abang Road, Cross River
94. Rehabilitation of llorin-Kabba Road, Kogi State
95. Rehabilitation of Mayo-Belwa-Jado Road, Adamawa State
96. Rehabilitation of Pampam-Panshin-Langtang Road, Plateau State
97. Rehabilitation of Mokwa-New Bussa Road, Niger State
98. Rehabilitation of Kaima-Kishi Road, Kwara/Oyo State
99. Rehabilitation of Oyo Iseyin Road, Oyo State
100. Rehabilitation of Ibeto Wara Road, Niger State
101. Rehabilitation of Zungeru-Bida Road, Niger State
102. Rehabilitation Owo-lkare Road, Ondo State
103. Rehabilitation of Ikot Epkene Oron Jamestown Road, Akwa-lbom State
104. Construction of Hakpe-A|aokuta-Warri-ORE Rail line
105. Replacement of the Last rail Road Bridge in the Country
106. Construction of Toll Plaza Nation Wide for Revenue
107. Construction of Flour Mills Nationwide
108. Rehabilitation of Military Barracks Nationwide
109. Physical improvement and Academic
110. Upgrading of Federal School of Survey, Oyo State
111. Additional Construction of Housing Units at 1004 Housing Estate at Transit Village, V/Island Lagos
112. Construction of Imo Airport
113. Construction of NNPC Headquarters & Staff Housing Abuja
114. NNPC Fuel Storage Depots various location Nationwide
115. Turn Around maintenance (TAM) of refineries regularly conducted on schedules
116. NAFCON one full capacity production
117. Establishment of National Housing Production
118. Promulgated National Housing Policy for Nigeria
119. Establishment of Federal Environment Protection Agency
120. Promulgation of National Environment policy For Nigeria
121. Directorate for Food, Roads & Rural Infrastructure (DFRRI) was established Nationwide
122. Community Banks established Nationwide
123. Mass mobilization for Social and Economic Recovery (MAMSER)
124. ECOMOG- Established and Pioneering the Sub-Regional Peace and Enforcement
125. Civil Service Reform
126. Established 2 Party System
127. Established Option A4NIGERIA Foreign Policy was redefined from Africa Focus to a Global Projection of Nigeria not to only as a Continental Power but Active Global Power Configuration
128. Guarantee of Free Press
129. Established IBB International Golf & Country Club
130. Established/Constructed National Women Centre
131. Established/Constructed NASDMU- Nigerian Army Small Scale Drug Manufacturing Unit Lagos
132. Constructed Post Offices in all the Local Government Nationwide
133. Constructed the Ajiwa Water Project, Katsina
134. Constructed Ikpoba Dam, Benin City
135. Constructed the Nkalagu Cement Company, Ebonyi State
136. Constructed Silos for Grain Storage Nationwide
137. Created 11 States
138. Employment rate was at 88%Salaries, Allowances and Contracts were paid when dueLight & Water Supply at 95% Capacity Nationwide
138. All textiles & industries were working at full capacity nationwide
139. There was security nationwide, free movement and peace was enjoyed
140. Established the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA)
141. Established Nigerian Broadcasting Commission along withNigerian Telecommunicati
on Commission which has powers to give private license
142. Established University of Yola
143. Established Foreign Aid Crops
144. Established consent of Medium Powers of 8 Countries- Nigeria, Turkey, Iran, Pakistan etc.
145. Established more diplomatic missions with nations
146. Constructed Eagle Square, Abuja
147. Constructed Tomb of the Unknown Soldier
148. Constructed National Military Cemetery, Abuja
149. Constructed Katsina Airport
150. ASCON, Academic Staff College of Nigeria, Badagry
151. Police College, Kano
152. Peoples Bank (Tai Solarin)
153. FRSC – Federal Rood Safety Commission (Wole Soyinka)
154. Nigerian Security and Civil Defence Corps
155. Ecumenical Centre, Abuja
156. Abuja Central Mosque
157. VON – Volkswagen Of Nigeria, Ojo
158. STEYR – Vehicle Company, Bauchi
159. Established the Budget Ministry
160. Over 200 laws in Nigerian Legal System operating now
161. RMA & FC — Revenue Mobilization Allocation and Fiscal Commission
162. NDIC — Nigerian Deposit Insurance Corporation
163. Established NCC — National Communication Commission
164. Established NWC – National War College
165. Established NDI – National Democratic Institutes
166. Established the Portharcourt-Warri Refineries & Kaduna Refinery
167. Constructed and Commissioned Shiroro Dam
168. Created 8 Federal Universities of Technology and Colleges of Agriculture
169. Created 200 Local Government Areas and 11 States
170. Established a security reform which curved out from National Security Organisation (NSO), the followings:
(a) NIA — National Intelligence Agency
(b) SSS — State Security Service
(c) DIA – Defence Intelligence Agency
171. Established a security reform that created five (5) additional zones for the Nigerian Police
172. Construction of Toagh Bridge on the Tuga-Kaoje Road
173. Construction of Jameson and Ethiope River Brdges, Bendel State
174. Construction of Potiskum-Bulkachuwa Road, Bauchi State
175. Construction of Bridge for Steam Boats in Nembe, Rivers State
176. Re-construction of Niger Bridge, Onitsha, Anambra State
277. Establishment of Council on Environment at Federal and State Levels
178. Construction of Army Officers Quarters, Minna, Makurdi and Kontagora
179. Construction of Soldiers Quarters at Bonny Camp, Portharcourt
180. Construction of NACA Headquarters and school at Kontagora
181. Construction of and Roads Rehabilitation of roads and drainages at Dalet Barracks, Ribadu, Kontagora and many other Barrack
182. Water Supply improvement scheme at Army Barracks nationwide
183. Electrical rehabilitation works at Kakuri Barraks, Kaduna State 1 80. BuiH 1 63 Housing units of 3 & 2 bedrooms in Sharctda, Kano State
184. Built 1 86 housing units in Omo State
185. Construction of Roads in Ganye, Adamawa State
186. Construction of Road in Ago-Oko, Abeokuta, Ogun StateBuilt 499 housing units in Abuja
187. Built Federal Housing Authority Estate at Yola, Adamawa State
188. Built Federal Housing Authority Estate at Minna, Niger StateBuilt Federal Housing Authority Estate at Oshogbo, Osun State 1 88. Built Federal Housing Authority Estate at Festac Town, Lagos State
189. Established Surveyors Registration Council of Nigeria (SURCON)
190. Established Council of Registered Builders of Nigeria (CORBON)
191. Introduction of Structural Adjustment Programme (SAP) for Nigeria’s Economic Growth
192. Upgrading the Infrastructure in the Nigerian Mining Corporation (NMC)
193. Established Nigerian Maritime Authority
194. Development of National Health Policy
195. Launching of the Primary Health Care Scheme (PHC)
296. Upgrading the project of the Expended Programme on Immunization (EPI)Technical assistance to states in the rural water supply and sanitation programs
197. Financial assistance to Federal Teaching Hospitals for rural and urban comprehensive health centresDirect importation of drugs to ease shortages in the hospitalsCompletion and Commissioning of the abandoned Teaching Hospital Project in Sokoto, Enugu and Zaria
198. Establishment of four Technical Colleges of Education at Asaba, Bichi, Omoku and Potiskum
199. Establishment of Specialized National Mathematical Centre, Abuja
200. Established University of Abuja
201. Established the Universities of Agriculture in Makurdi and Abeokuta
202. Established the University of Technology in Bauchi and Yola
203. Establishment of 22 Women Model Center’s in every State and Abuja
204. Introduction of the Expedited Mail Service (EMS) in 1986
205. Built and Commissioned the Nnamdi Azikwe National Press Centre at Dordan Barracks, Lagos
206. Built the Essential Infrastructure in Abuja and successfully moved the Federal Capital from Lagos to Abuja
207. Built Garki General Hospital, Abuja
208. Built and Transformed the former Anambra State University of Technology into a Federal Institution and renamed it Nnamdi Azikwe University Awka
209. He gave car refurbishing and motorcycle advances to the armed forces
210. He also gave car loans /refurbishing and motorcycle advances to the armed forces
211. He built the Police Forensic Laboratories in Kano and Lagos
212. He built the Police Staff Colleges in Shanono, Kano and Jos
213. He built me Police Secondary School in Calabar
214. He built the State Police Headquarters in Uyo, Akwa-lbom and Kano State
215. He built the police Academy Phases I & II in Kano
216. He reconstructed NNPC into a Corporate Headquarter with three functional divisions and twelve subsidiaries such as:
(a) The Nigerian Petroleum Development Company Limited (NPDC)
(b) Integrated Data Services Limited (IDSL)
(c) Warri Refinery and Petrochemicals Company Limited (WRPC)
(d) Kaduna Refinery and Petrochemicals Company Limited
(e) Pormarcourt Refinery Company Limited (PHRC)
(f) Nigeria Gas Development Company Limited
(g) Eleme Petrochemicals Company Limited (EPCL)
(h) Engineering Company of Nigeri a Limited (ECNL)
(i) Nigeria Liquefied Natural Gas Company (NLNG)
(j) Calson (Bermuda) Limited
(k) Hyson Nigeria Limited (HNL)
217. He initiated and signed the Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) for Nigeria’s Liquefied Natural Gas (LNG)
218. He initiated and signed Joint Operating Agreement in Nigeria’s petroleum sector
219. He increased the petroleum exploration activities in Nigeria with the target of achieving 2.4 million barrels per day by me year 1994
220. His petroleum sector reforms admitted indigenous oil companies to invest in exploration
221He increased the known oil reserves by 4 billion barrelsHe abolished the third-party marketing of Nigerian Crude Oil
222. He expanded the refining company from 300,000 to 445,000 barrels per dayHe developed and commissioned the Portharcourt Export Refinery
223. He accelerated work on me LNG ProjectHe introduced Butanization Programme in the petroleum sector in NigeriaHe secured overseas market for Nigeria’s LNGHe acquired 4 (four) vessels for LNG transportation
224 . He developed the Oso Condensate Field
225. He initiated work on new products pipelines linking all refineries In the country
226. He completed and commissioned the ESCRAVOS to Lagos Pipeline.
227.He achieved a successful experiment on the Gas-Power car
228. He completed Phase I of the Petrochemical Programme
228. He completed the development of the National Oil Policy
229. He strengthened Nigeria’s position in OPEC and a Nigerian, Alh. Rilwan Lukman emerged as OPEC’s Secretary General
230. He increased revenue allocation from the Federation Account to oil producing areas as well as institutionalization of organs for encouraging rapid community development in these areas
231. He conducted the most successful headcount that the country ever achieved since 1963
232. He introduced Bureau de Change in the Foreign Exchange Regime.
233. Established National Wages Commission
234. Established National Planning Commission
235. Established National Women Commission
236. Established Urban Development Bank
237. Established Public Utilities Commission
238. Established Nigerian Pilgrims Board (one for Muslims and one for Christians)
239. Established National Economic Reconstruction Fund (NERFUND)
240. Established National Boundary Commission
241. Established National Population Commission
242. Established National Energy Commission
243. Established the technical committee on Privatization and Commercialization
244. Established Federal Urban Mass Transit Programme
245. He built Bida-Kamba-Jade
Road
246. He reconstructed Chiyako bridge in Kano State
247. He dualized Onitsha-Oba Road
248. He built 218 Housing Units in Benue State
249. He built 180 Housing Units in Sokoto State
250. He built 207 Housing Units in Rivers State