₦airaland Forum

alexistaiwo:
do u seriously believe I will take my time to type that if it a lie besides whether u believe or not. not my biz

Bros, we are not fighting na...
I swear I want to believe o...
But my conscience ....

alexistaiwo:
mine happened last 2weeks. I came back home late in the night so I want out around 12.30pmin the night to take my bath (u know face me I face u bathroom na) cos it was dark and everyone was sleeping. I didn't want to switch on my blackberry z10 flashlight cos if u know that phone u will attest to the brightness of that phone flashlight. so to provide light, I start playing porn vi deo of 40minutes duration on your phone in the bathroom.
all of a sudden, I saw a figure standing before me, lo and behold it was this beautiful neighbour of mine who had come outside to take a leak staring at me stark naked dressed in see through nightgown. to cut long story short, she entered the bathroom to see the video and ended up following me for a 45minutes session in my room. till today the girl never knew how I seduced her

Seriously......is not like I don't believe o.
It's just that if I believe this, my conscience will judge me..
Shey u get?

angiography:
Yeeeepa

Now I have to be careful wen with girls.

Asin Ehn....
Since den na jeans I dey use sleep.....

The animal said we should share our brain

If not that your said your father was a herbalist...
I for just swear for you...
Idiot oshi!!!

smudge2079:
D dumbest post on Nairaland ever.

Don't be too quick to judge...
This is nairaland anything can happen

adaksbullet:
Am fork one stamerer on our strt yestadae....wen am forken her, am ear her say hahahahahahahahahahaha....am angry sombody am juss use vex chaze her out off mine room.....so todae, she chat me in wussup say while am chaze her out lik that, am juss telled her that she laugh wen am forken her hard she noun telled me that she his nort laugh that she is want too say HARDER......she his cry noun that am nort loved her that am brake her @.....


Am want too eat, I we continu latas! By by

Pls after eating, drink sniper and die!!!!
If u come here to continue this rubbish thunder will fayA you!!! Ewu!

Kingsley1000:
...she left just like that

Sooo.....I was supposed to say everytin Abi??
Lol....
Remember I said "at this point I wasn't embarrassed"
It was because I didn't fall my hand.....
But when she went to tell her friends that's when I started feeling embarrassed....especially when they came bk to proclaim the good news

How old are u Biko?
Don't ever let me hear u in your life say #childnotbride
Because that girl is a #childnotprostitute

***modified*****
All my FTC has always been on idiotic threads.....God why me?

So she came over to my apartment for tutorials after which ....we watched a movie and lost track of time...and she slept off.....
She was beautiful and she had changed into one of my big shirts....she was damn sexy but I really didn't want to straff d girl....
She was too good a friend, I didn't want to spoil it.
Junior had other intentions sha, as the guy couldn't just sleep, he was just standing at attention all tru the night, made it hard for me to sleep, but I eventually did.....
She woke up before me, as she had slept earlier and she tapped me to tell me she was ready to go....
Guess what .....I was laying on my back nd junior was standing straight looking at the ceiling.....he had found his way tru the slit in my boxer....
Now this girl could see my pole....
I tot she ws going to be embarrassed but she smiled...
And said I'm going....I didn't utter a word and she left..
At dis point I didn't really feel embarrassed until two of her friends met me in school and said ....."we heard u are really blessed"
That was when the embarrassment started...
*long story abi*

faith551:
OK, maybe it wasn't that embarrassing, but that's the only one that comes to mind.
My mum has always told me I had beautiful legs, but in didn't really see anything special in that,at least not until I wore shorts to school ones.
I was walking with one of my friends, and he saw a girl he knew, he greeted her and they hugged, but just in that moment she noticed my legs from the guys shoulder and she was like, wow! Faith you have this beautiful legs? She didn't even know when she left my friends.
Went in for lectures and this girl o knew too, just walked up to me from a group of giggling girls behind, and was like faith you have pretty legs, well I said thanks and forced a smile, then she gave me the "knock out "
Can I touch it?
I just froze, the other girls were looking in our direction, I didn't know whether to concur or not, she was already reaching for it and I was like pls blessing dnt do this to me and all of them just started laughing.

You say??

So all this drama has Jst been super story.....

collarfreak:
Guys are not smiling on NL na advice I dey find...see detriment opinion

Cut ur Dick...
If womanizing symptoms persist after two days...
Hang yourself!

prettythicksme:
Bro nothing do u abeg if dont enjoy ur life now,wen will u enjoy it?enjoy it to d fullest!!

So by d time ur mate don finish building their houses,dey buy plenty plenty cars,u go dey on top hospital bed with ur hiv/aids okay. .o
nothing do u!

This girl lemme alone....stop tickling me
Hahahahahahahaahahahaha.......
Ur advice sha.....they are very winchly

Cut ur Dick! .....
If symptoms persist after two days....
Call your doctor
#cow!!!

Wow.....nairaland houses more mad men than yabaleft....seun should be awarded for reducing the number of roaming mental patients and transforming them into typing mental patients.........

prettythicksme:
No implication,tell him to continue!!

Lol.....ya just a winsh!!

MrCork:
...anyways bak to the thread before beeen rudely intaruppted by that angry homebase nigerian called theLegion.....sweeery how would feel if u go out for dinner wit a guy who chop chicken in front of u wit his bear hand?? ......serrriously...wouldnt he make u feelin like u out wit a roadside mechanic? .. would u there see him again?...be honest?

Interrupted not intaruppted
Eats not chop
Bare not bear
Wouldn't he make u feel not wouldn't he make you feelin
Dare not there



But come.....idiot look here
How do u have a rangerover and can't buy a smartphone with autocorrection ability

MrCork:
...see yor Somali head like jacket potato....when did i ever abuse u, any nody & jobless nigerians on nairaland??....when?...issit ma fault u dont hav moiney to come to london...or isssit ma fault u cant use fok n knife..or isssit ma fault women dont want u or even sef, isssit ma fault u cant aford £28,000(cash) Range rover spot??..... Bro be nice & i will post u £10 to but a suits ther in Nigeria!!! (no oofeinse)

U just sound like an overfed baboon!!!
Ewu London!!! Atulu Jamaica!!!! Efi potorico!!!

leksmedia:
This is MiMi at 14 weeks, I've been so busy that I couldn't upload pics , here are pictures of Mimi taken today

14weeks?? Wow.....u have a great dog here.....

Mustiboy:
common, this is being ridiculous, I've got very good grades in both waec(my maths was held though) and gce and I don't mind going through the stress of having to take a picture of the results and posting them here.
I ought to be in school now but due to some challenges we had in our family in the past, I had to drop out @ a very early stage of my studies in the University. you can check my profile to read the topic I named 'pls advice or help on my dad' to understand more.
in case you care to know, I graduated outta secondary school in 2012, so imagine what level I'd be had it been I didn't drop outta school in 2013.

Hahahaha.....ok, take a chill pill, this is nairaland, u really don't need too much details about everytin...and u need to mind ur business (sometimes)....someone opens a thread nd u post a pic init try to feel cooler Dan the op.
When I first quoted you I was just trying to give u a doze of your own medicine.....
No bad blood ok.....
I'm stopping now.....u shld too

Mustiboy:
did you just refer to me as smallIE? for your information, I clocked 19 on the 19th day of June, so I'm not a kid, the op and myself are probably of the same age, so stop being too forward.
I might look very young though, which is the more reason my close pals call me babyface.

So I wasted my quote on a 19yr old teenager?
Anyways how was ur G.C.E HOPE U WROTE WELL?
be a good boy ok??

Mustiboy:
I'm sure better

Smallie how was your GCE?
Hope u wrote well?
Respect your elders and stop bursting threads..
Be a good boy

DEPENDS ON THE CAR.....
WHEN I GET THAT RANGE ROVER OR BMW X6...
OMO I WILL GIVE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING LIFT...
INCLUDING KARISHIKA.....LOL

PaulCI:
Yes, I am one of those. The permanent member of “The Singles” club and after reading lots of forwards titled something like “The virtues of being single” and all, I am still not convinced that I am not a l-o-s-e-r. I am one of those infinite men in the universe who end up being just friends with the girls rather than their respective boyfriends. I have some - job, my own place (which only guys visit to watch football on weekends, and one or two girls when they need to charge their phones), not bad looking. I don’t smoke and I drink socially, a drop or two. I don’t have any bad habits as such. I don’t bore people much (I know this because at times when I really bore them they ask me to shut up and this hasn’t happened many times). And yet for some unfathomable reasons I am single.

Things I often get to hear from girls are:

1) You are so sweet.

2) You are so cute.

3) You are my best friend.

4) It’s great to have you around.

And well, you have to be sweet when a girl calls you that and you have to be around (not with) because you are good if you are doing that.

Things I don’t get to hear are:

1) I love you.

2) You are so sexy.

3) I wish to spend my whole life with you.

4) You want to come visit me?

5) Kiss me! Now!

And now after so many years of not listening to these lines, I am beginning to believe that I will never ever get to hear them.

I don’t know what is wrong with me. Why do I always end up becoming friends with girls!? I have seen guys who are, well, “not-so-gentlemen”, to put mildly, going out with the best of the girls, having fun, ditching them or being ditched by them, still being happy and finding a new girl whom they can actually introduce as “my new girlfriend” without the girl feeling bad about it. And the only thing I end up saying is, “There goes another"

I remember there was this day I decided that I wont be a nice guy anymore and the very day a friend-girl broke with her boy-friend, she calls me up to meet me (that’s the exact time when girls actually remember me) and I am prepared to take my chances. So here is a girl, single and talking to a changed me. The new me. The straight-talking me.

“You deserve it”, I say, “for going out with a player” And I am about to say why she needs to be with a guy who can hold her and all when she says, “Oh! You are so nice. I wish my boyfriend was like you.” and starts crying on my shoulder.

I mean W-H-AT–T-H-E–H-E-L-L!!! I am being bad and still I am good and she wants the bad guy to be like me and doesn’t want me. And that’s when I actually understood the meaning of the song I had been listening to since I was in j.s.s 3

It was one of sisqo's. Old school!!


Its simply says “My life will be made if someone like you walks into it”. Get it? Like you – not YOU.

So that’s my story. I don’t believe in the posts that tell me why its great to be single but then there’s nothing I can do to actually compare the two modes of life: committed and single.

And I don’t think that my so-called friend-girls (not girlfriends) will ever realize that my friendship could actually be my love? But then, I can’t sulk about it, can I?, because I am the nice guy who is always around.

IGWE!!!! IGWE!!!!!
IGWE FRIENDZONE MAY YOU LIVE LONG!!!!
#ATULU #EWU'KOTONU

Stephansmily:
Azin..wariz dis

just negodu anya!

Abasha!!!

EZI'GBOTE ABASHA!!!!

With this grammatical misappropriations and linguiSticAL deficiency .........WASIU IS THE MAN FOR YOU, HE IS YOUR SOUL MATE!!

KiidaACE:
100k is still broke now!!.

Walai!!!!!

Omotayor123:
You should worry about the circumstance under which she lost the ring.*Like was it forcefully taken by robbers etc.* Do you think a lady will like to loose her engagement ring even if it's #100 aboki ring

Emmm....ok, ya right sha...
I was just thinking outside dat...
If someone stole my baby's ring....
I shall find the person and kill the person *jimiyke's voice*
Dats after making sure she's ok