₦airaland Forum

lefulefu:
yesterday evening i was listening to a programme on the radio and the radio presenter was asking a lady on the phone if she's attracted to davido. The lady said yes !.. The radio presenter asked if it was because of davido's wealth and fame... The lady said she's not attracted to davido's wealth and fame but the reason she's attracted to davido is because he's so hardworking and caring that he was able to purchase a porsche for his girlfriend. Ok how many hardworking upcoming young naija men fit jus buy porsche or any automobile for their girlfriend . So u see where d wahala dey. A guy cant afford for d main time to buy a car for im girlfriend or take her shopping to dubai and she will be angry and break up with him and start looking for a rich caring man.u see how d wahala dey take start?.

Can your father purchase a Porsche for your mother? Most women are just too lazy and being dependent. Don't go and hustle.

She is going to manipulate you and take advantage of your love and emotional feelings. It's better not to get involved with someone who just like you and not feel a thing for you.

People will say with time she may fall in love with you but I bet she wouldn't and you will only waste your precious time with that person. The best is to find who feels how you feel.

I have experienced it before and I must say she took my love and simplicity for weakness. She was only there because of what she will benefit and was never after my well-being. I wasted my time loving her when she just like me as a friend.

We were not in any relationship when she did it. She did that when she was 21 year old (about two years ago). She was still a virgin then and got disvirgin that same year by her ex boyfriend. Though, I have known her long time ago even before I asked her out. I didn't considered myself having anything to do with her as at then. I should have been the one to disvirgin her but I didn't feel anything for her then.

She is not a prostitute but her action for taking the family planning makes me think she just wanted to mess around with some random guys. Perhaps, her dad is a pastor and maybe she doesn't want to bring an embarrassment to her dad. I told her what she did was very bad.

She hasn't done any abortion before. I asked her about that several times but she said she hasn't. She only had sex with her ex boyfriend four times before they broke up. After that she didn't dated any other guy until I ask her out early last year. No one knows she did family planning, not even her ex boyfriend.

In terms of communication level, she is this type that hardly talk or express herself in public. She doesn't express herself in the present of her own parents. I have known her long ago even before I asked her out.

Apina:
A 23 year old taking such a bold step leaves a lot to ponder. First of all, where both of you in a relationship when she did it? If yes, ask her why? If No, is she a prostitute? Because most of them who flow with the big boys engage in unprotected sex.
Secondly, she saying the decision was taken due to pregnancy could possibly mean she had done abortion in the past and might be preventing a repeat of the situation.
Thirdly, marriage is not you like me and I like you, both of you are not friends from the look of things, that's why the communication level is poor. Rethink this decision, it's a life changing decision

Yeah, I guess I'm forcing myself too hard on her but I'm doing this because I want to know how she feels about me. I want to know if she is in OR if she is just with me for her own selfish interest. I just want her to communicate and tell me her feelings because I don't want to settle down with someone I will regret marrying or someone that will make my heart skip all the time when I traveled from one country or state to another. I just want to be satisfy that I'm with the right woman.

egwekwe:
Relationship isn't meant to be this hard and it's definitely not by force..


Seems to me you're forcing yourself too hard....


#myoneticket

Sorry for the long post but I think it is essential you all know how I feel.

I've had bad experiences in relationships, in the past. So, I kind of have trust issues with my new partner. I'm very open with her and she is not that open with me. I'm upon her completely but I don't think she does the same. Though, love doesn't need to be equal, it has to be fair.

She lacks communication (Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Effective communication bring trust). She is not open minded. She does not express how she feels. She keeps everything to herself and this made me nervous. I tried as much as I can to communicate with her. I told her about my past and I asked her about her past too. She told me some few stories but I wasn't satisfied with what she told me because I felt she wasn't telling me everything I need to know. Before she could tell me about her past or anything I asked her about, I will need to force her to speak by being aggressive. According to her, that's her kind of person, she does not like too much talk. She told me to get use to her that way but I don't like that.

Recently, she did something that made me think she was cheating behind my back. Though, she wasn't cheating behind my back with anybody. We exchange each other phone (I bought the phone for her). I can open her phone with my fingerprints and she can open my phone with her fingerprints too. I went through her phone messages and I saw the text she sent to one guy. Here is the content of the text "you made me come around and I called you but you didn't pick my calls". I was cold when I saw the text. I called her and I pretended as if I needed my phone to make urgent transfer.

She came around immediately and I asked her if she was cheating behind my back but she said no. I showed her the text she sent to the guy and she told me she didn't go to the guy place. It was hard to believe because the contents of the text justified that she went to see the guy but she claimed she didn't. I could not trust her that much and I accused her of cheating behind my back since she is not always open with me.

I have sat her down several times and I told her that communication, commitment, honesty,open minded and sincerity play very vital role in relationships. I had to force her again to tell me what she thinks I need to know about her since I'm planning for our marriage (she has seen my family and I have seen her family as well). She told me that everything she said about her past is true but there was one particular thing I'm yet to know. Though, she said this same word to me early last year ( I tried to know what that particular thing was as at then but she didn't tell me. I decided not to ask her again). She opened up and told me that she did family planning about two years ago (this means she is not fertile). I wasn't in her life then when she did the family planning.

I was angry with her and I asked her why she didn't tell me then. She told me she was scared of how I was going to react. She showed me where they injected her with the contraception implant injection. Though, it is reversible and she can get pregnant immediately. I asked her why she did it and she said she just want to protect herself from unwanted pregnancy. I accused her of taking the family planning because she wanted to mess around with different guys and that she didn't think of the infections she would get (maybe I was right or wrong in my assumption but since she is not communicating effectively with me, made me think the other way around). I told her the best way to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy is to close your leg rather than taking family planning at her age when she hasn't started giving birth. She is just 23 years old.

Please Nairalanders, How do I prevent this her communication deficiency and keeping of things to herself from affecting my emotional being? I'm too emotional and my emotional feelings makes me lack trust in her. My emotion makes me lose myself up for the one I love and care for. It makes me think negative and I tried as much to control it but this is a natural part of me.

*** Note::: I don't want to make the mistake I did in the past again because I'm planning of marrying her mid next year. Though, she accuse me of not trusting her and I replied her of not being open with me and her communication level with me is zero.

Na mumu him be. Dem no dey compatible but e won shook head. It's advisable that AS should not get married to AS. Bone if both of them love each other. Na d children (SS) go suffer everything .

TarOrfeek:
All this story because of woman.

I don't get it, lately it seems to me that no matter how bad a break up was or how much of a douche bag the ex is, women always go back to the ex sooner or later. Why?

Op your story is very pathetic and everything you clearly stated above shows the girl doesn't love you a bit. You were just forcing yourself around her. She didn't see you in her world and perhaps not in line with your vision.

The best thing to do is to move on with your life by avoiding her totally. You need to love yourself more and I want you to channel all those energies into developing yourself and your future.

You need to understand the fact that before she came into your life you were happy and your happiness does not depend on her. Love sometimes make us think our happiness depend on the ones we love but the truth is your well being should be your happiness.

Don't let your negative thoughts manipulate you that she will change.. She will never change. Besides, she has random guys that she mess around with. Why would you want to be with such a woman.

Abeg give yourself brain before you lost your direction in life.

Op, I don't think your relationship with your bestie will last for long if you finally ask her out. The fact that you like her and she likes you doesn't mean that same friendship feelings can be put into relationships. Relationships is another level of commitment that is different from friendship.when you guys started dating,things will get sour over time because you will see flaws that you didn't see during your friendship days and it will be very difficult for you to cope. I have been there before and I tell you it didn't work out along the line.

I will prefer you look for someone else completely and always be bestie to your friend.

Though, the best person to marry is your friend but this days, it doesn't work properly in Nigeria.

You can never be happy with her again neither will you ever trust her. The fact that she cheated with your best friend means she may be cheating with other dude behind your back. The girl is not worthy of your love, time, attention, commitment and above all your precious love. The best thing to do is to break up with her and you must let her know your reason for the break up. Don't try to take her back unless you have the heart to comprehend more heartache.

Also, I won't advice you to turn her to side chick. That's not the best way to punish her. Just let her go so that you can meet someone else that is far better than her.

Please let the wound to heal. Don't touch the scar so as not to reopen the wound. Let's the wound heal before thinking of getting another girl.

The op is right. People always criticize men that beat their women even when she is wrong. They don't always criticize the woman that indulge in some sort of immoral behavior that provoked the man.

A man cannot just wake up one morning and start beating his wife of girlfriend. Something must have triggered his action. When such men beat their women up, people tag it as domestic violence and this sometimes makes some women to behave the other way.

Guys, do you think girls sometimes need to be spank for their wrong doing?

She gets so dependent on your forgiveness because you genuinely love. This makes her does the things you don't like because she knows you will always forgive her. In essence, she took your simplicity and your love for granted.

I know most girls and some guys will disagree to above questions but sometimes girls need to receive some sort of beating for their wrong doing. I'm not talking about giving her injuries on her body but she needs beating to sit up.

What do you guys think?

pcguru1:
This is dumb what if they have business ideals together OE potential business partner.

****after giving her number out to guys, they start asking her out and this create problems in her relationship.

Read the bold text above

Winter4:
OP, please define the term for me...do you mean any guy...or guys interested in the gal?
I don't think its fair to generalize that every guy collects a lady's contact just to disturb her or ask her out. Most do sha!

I don't mean every guy. A lady should know the intention of the guy when he first approach her or perhaps as time goes on.

EmpresFIDEL:
having a boyfriend doesn't mean you can't make friends with other guys because your boyfriend might not end up been your husband. giving number out doesn't mean she's will date them.

After giving out her number, the guy start disturbing her causing problem in her serious relationship. What is the point of giving out the number when you know the intention of the guy...

You girls should stop saying "you don't know where help will come from. " that's bias

DABREEZYTOS:
My own question is quite simple...op,how did you get your gf's number?.i'm pretty sure she might be in a relationship when you got her num

I got my girlfriend number when she wasn't into any relationship. I don't force myself around girls when they told me they have boyfriend. I can't do such

Respect55:
It is not all bad as we take it. What makes it bad is if the girl fails to tell this other guy that she has a bf.



This same shit ended my relationship few months back. My girl got involved with another guy, they got chatting and she denied she had a bf. I kicked her without a second thought.

This is exactly what I meant. I'm not saying she doesn't need to give her number out but you need to let the guy you are giving yourself number out know you have a boyfriend when he keeps disturbing you. I don't see any big deal for the girl not telling the guy "I'm sorry I have a boyfriend.. Except she doesn't know what she wants "

Hello everyone,

I just want to know....why some girls who have serious boyfriends give their number out to another guy who they just met?

She knows she has a boy who is everything to her yet she gives her number out to total stranger who just talk to her on meeting her.

Is it really proper for a girl to give her number out when she knows she has a boyfriend?

Why can't she say no or sorry I have a boyfriend?

****after giving her number out to guys, they start asking her out and this create problems in her relationship.

Fabolousibk1:
How is that a big deal....?... You're feeling insecure ni jor ..

There is nothing like being insecure. It's not proper for a girl to give her number out. She knows the intention of the guy yet she went ahead giving her number out. She is expected to tell the guy blank no or sorry I'm not interested cuz I have a boyfriend.

How will you feel when you are having a quality time with your girlfriend and her phone keeps ringing because of the numerous guys she gave her number to?

Hello everyone,

I just want to know....why some girls who have serious boyfriends give their number out to another guy who they just met?

She knows she has a boy who is everything to her yet she gives her number out to total stranger who just talk to her on meeting her.

Is this really proper for a girl to give her number out when she knows she has a boyfriend?

Why can't she say no or sorry I have a boyfriend?

****after giving her number out to guys, they start asking her out and this create problems in her relationship.

This op must be the greatest liar of all time. I don't believe what op wrote. He just wanted people to comment on his post which I just did

Op, you saw all her red flags and to be sincere with you, this girl can't be faithful to you. Don't get carried away by her desperation of wanting to be with you.. She hasn't change her bad ways. She is not the kind of wife you need in your life. She took your simplicity, your love and every other roles you played in her life for granted by cheating behind your back with some random guys.

However, I am definitely sure she is pregnant. There is no need conducting any kind of test on her.. Just let her go.

The truth is you guys are not compatible and stop dreaming of her career. She is this type that will give you heartache when you wife her.

Run for your life and find someone better

This op sounds like kids..

You are just killing yourself over nothing. Beside, you have no feelings for this girl. You are just being jealous because you haven't taken your share.

Man up

Lemme see your entire body that was beaten before I can proceed with my advice.

Anyway, you put yourself into this mess... You didn't put yourself first rather you were showing care to people who don't deserve it. You fail to understand that your number one priority right now should have been you getting that degree and looking back at your parents who want the best for you.

It is good to help others but don't try to satisfy or impress anyone when you don't have. Take heart op...

Things get better with time just like the weather

I thought I was the first to have commented

Op I had similar encountered.

Here is my trend

https://www.nairaland.com/3772405/damn-it-new-girl-pussy

No one can tell you how to manage it. You alone can do that all by yourself. You fail to love yourself and love made you think your happiness and life depend on the girl you love. You gave too much of your heart and comment just to pleased the girl you love.

The same way you fall in love with her, that is the same way you have to take your mind of her. Your life does not depend on her

A guy being broke at the moment doesn't mean he is going to be broke forever. Things get better with time just like the weather. I expect most girls and ladies to understand this ideology. The rich guys or financially stable men you see today, didn't become stable or rich in one night. It took them time "except if he is from a wealthy home". At least, they were once broke. Girls, don't think the grass is always greener at the other side. Sometimes, it is just a near mirror of the real thing in the word of form. I expect girls to be with the one man who love them unconditionally in respective of his financial status. You should be contented with what you have and stop this bandwagon thing. The number priority in any relationship should be inner peace of mind. I always say this to people "any girl who can stand by me when I had nothing, will definitely dance with me I have everything ".

Girls today think the man should be responsible for all their needs. They can't do anything for themselves "they can't buy common body cream ". They expect the man to do all the expenses. Ladies think the only thing that man is after is sex but it goes beyond sex. When the man is not up to their needs anymore, they tagged him to be a broke ass niggas. Yet, they didn't bring anything to the table. Any girl who can't support his boyfriend emotionally, psychologically, financially and others alike should not even think of dating. The truth is they can never support their husband in their marital home. Take your damn sex away.

Girls level of mentality today have changed dramatically over the years. This is as result of poverty. They claimed to be classic but in the real sense, they are not. Statically, in Nigeria today, one broke guy is equivalent to 30 broke ass b1tches. So guys, any girl who leave you because you are broke is not worthy of your love, your time and attention.. She didn't complain when you meet up with her needs but now she gives you attitude when you don't have money to give to her. She will definitely goof around behind your back with some random guys. Girls like this don't deserve a better man because they are gold digger.

marriages break up today because most women end up with the wrong person. they were never patient with the one that loves them. they end up with the already made man who has no regard for anyone. Cherish and support the one who show you love in respective of how broke he may be. Sometimes, it is not all about money but inner peace of mind.

He may be broke today but he is rich tomorrow. He may not have all the money and cars but he is definitely going to have more than this tomorrow. Life is not all about enjoyment but investment.. Invest by supporting your boyfriend emotionally and psychologically and I promise you he will never forget you.

Girls don't tag any man has been poor or broke cuz your parents were once broke or perhaps currently poor. Don't let your situation change your mentality. Guys, don't let any girl change who you are. Just be yourself and be proud of your current situation. It won't be like this for long. Any girl who can't endure with you, let her go.