₦airaland Forum

Nengiraw:
Hello nairalanders, please I need help on this situation. So I’m a lady in her mid 20’s. I’m actually very much set for marriage in the eyes of my family, since society deem it fit to place marriage as an achievement for women, and always bring up your age to remind you to. Anyways, it’s not a priority for me to get married now, as I feel like I’m not ready mentally,and I have a lot of trauma to work on, but I’m also open to it, if it’s in my face and ready. I don’t stay in Nigeria, so my family don’t know if I have a man in my life, so they decided upon themselves to introduce me to a man who is my uncle’s friend that stays in the same country as me. They were more focus on the fact that he comes from a neighboring village from us and that he was a doctor. (Meanwhile he’s actually a nurse, but he told them, that he was a doctor, he also never mentioned to them that he was married and had a child, before they decided to introduce him to me)

So we eventually started talking on WhatsApp, he saw some of my pictures already and he was mesmerized. In fact he was already kind of making me his wife in that moment. So one day he called me and we were just talking,and I heard like a toddler crying so bad and needed his attention, I asked him who was that , he told me it was his daughter, there was this awkward silence for almost five minutes of us not saying anything, so I told him I’ll call him back. I called my mother that day and was mad as hell, that they didn’t disclose such information to me, but from my mother’s reaction she had no idea, and she was also mad and she told me, she will call me back, so she could verify from my uncle, since that’s his friend. Even my uncle too had no idea. To cut the whole story short, he later called me the next day on a video call, and he started telling me about his wife( Yes! She’s still his wife, because I don’t think he has divorced her yet)and how abusive she was, and how he tried to make it work, but she was so crazy and stuff like that. That he’s actually trying to get shared custody of the child. That he’s no longer married to her. I was not really having it, because I just felt like he wasn’t being honest with certain things and on top of that his wife is still in the picture, and I don’t know if I want to settle for that. Also he just turned 40, and I’m 25. So the age gap is too much for me. Also I have not met him in real life, cause he stays in a different state from me, my family still wanted me to be open minded until I see him in person, then I could make a decision if I want him or not. He always sends me pictures of his daughter, and he recently sent me one with his first wife and daughter, I was surprised that he did, and he said he wanted to show me the daughter instead. I still felt like I didn’t need to see a picture of her. I started seeing the red flags of him that I couldn’t settle with. Also the way he talked about the wife was vulgar, and I felt like he didn’t need to tell me about her in that manner.

Now the most recent thing he started doing was sending me random stuff about marriage to my WhatsApp. I usually glance at it,and don’t reply, cause I don’t know why he’s sending me that. The one that gave me a major big red flag from him, is when he sent where Regina daniels( the actress who married Ned nwoko) was talking about marrying her husband a virgin and how it’s important to be a virgin. He then asked me if I was one. Honestly I felt really numb, because I don’t know why he will be asking me stuff like that, when he didn’t really get a respond back from me, he proceeded to send another message telling me, “No mind them sha, virgin no sabi. With a heart eye emoji. I was dumbfounded, I didn’t know how to reply to him anymore. I stopped picking up his calls and I have no intention to meet up with him anymore. Now my family is mad at me, saying that at least I should see him in person, but I don’t want to. In fact I’m no longer interested in him. Please am I wrong for feeling the way I feel? Thanks.

WarrenP:
Comments are welcome

50StarGeneral:
Good day all and Happy Sunday. Pls, anyone with previous experience should pls recommend a good country I can visit for 2 weeks in Africa. Must offer Nigeria Passport visa free, visa on arrival or e-visa pls.

Thanks !!

adenigga:
Source: https:///President-Tinubu-Is-Determined-To-Lift-133-Million-Nigerians-Out-Of-Poverty-Edu

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.



Thank you .

Nlfpmod front page please

Thanks

doggedfighter:
Even at that many can still not afford it.



Learnt house rent is still very cheap.

Food too.

Living in the north seems very easy and cheap too.

You people are lucky !

IconicR:
Such a gullible man, if Peter Obi can successfully manipulate a young man of his age then he's not a sensible man.

labake1:
I have fear of height (Acrophobia), I always run away from storey buildings. In fact I always avoid a situation where someone will carry or lift me. On my wedding day, I will tell the MC to skip that part. I don't know how to overcome the fear.

What are you afraid of?
And have you conquered your fears?

Jennyclay:


I’m scared of Men!!

I hate Men!!

I hate Men!!

I hate Men!!

Never you hate your dad and brother's

Treasure17:
Favour kor. Except the jolloff.

Shal0mmy:
I tire o.
My boyfriend tried to do this kinda thing to me after giving him my body.
But he stoped after i threatened him with juju
He now holds me tight

Popesuccess:
Because of the high rate of teenage pregnancy where i live in Abuja mothers have started doing family planning for thier daughters. They are just getting pregnant as if it is a competition. These girls are just giving themselves for sex to these small boys that don't do any but Sagging their trousers upandan. 13 to 17 years old girls getting pregnant anyhow. I

Hardtotrust:
I am very very angry right now. I couldn't sleep last night. That is why I'm bringing this here this morning before I do something very bad. A father should be after the growth of his son and not after ruining him.

Please you guys should help me look into this matter. I understand that it was a matter of life and important concern.

I'm seriously struggling in the city to eck a living for myself and do the little I can for my family also. My father was a petty trader who hardly can provide adequate for the family. Some of us who come from a very poor background would understand this better. I mean coming from where absolutely nothing is kept for you. No support from the family and nothing, nothing and nothing. You are the one who die and same you would have to pour yourself water to come back to life. You, you and only you.

I buy fast consuming products and supply to people and make some gains from there. Sometimes I hawk the products. I was able to save up to N150k. Around May this year, I went to the village and bought some rubbers of palm oil and store them to sell around November/December and make gains.

Last week, I got a call that wind pulled off our house roof in the village. Since they are using small torchlight phone, I didn't get to see how serious the situation was. Even though I didn't have money, I sent N15k to help fix it. My father later called me and complained bitterly on why I sent just 15k, that according to the carpenter, that materials and workmanship would cost N65k. In my mind, I was just like, does this man even know how I survive here in the city?

For two nights, they didnt sleep in the house as the wind pulled off the rooof.

On Tuesday, I learnt my younger brother was being operated of Hernia. I know about the hernia but was under plan to raise money for it. And I knew there was no money to settle medical bills for operation. So I was shocked where they got the money to do operation.

As I traveled down yesterday to see them, dear Nairaland friends, all my rubbers of palm oil has been sold and the money spent on fixing the roof and paying for the medical bills for the hernia operation without my notice.

I am not taking this kindly with my father who engineered the whole thing and I want to arrest him to refund my money.

That is my life investment and it took me so much to raise the amount. Due to how things are now. I even wanted to sell two rubbers to invest back as the business is facing challenges now.

What should I do here to recover my money back? If I have another money, I would over look it but that is my life investment of my labour.

casualobserver:
Everybody knows the story of Banana island. It doesn’t cost you anything to do some research, google is free. If it it BBNaija, you will have data. When Buhari called you lazy youth, una vex.

Since you are too lazy to research yourselves, See below:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana_Island,_Lagos

FalseProphet1:
Don't waste your time, nobody is gaining any kind or form of weight this shege period regardless of what you eat, just eat anything you see and enjoy your bony figure in peace.

This I have seen.

kristian98:
How do I make money abeg?

duncan511:
Which country in west Africa, Can I relocate to with my family with 3m Naira and start up a business