₦airaland Forum

My wings became black
the white is gone
ruined and disgraced
I lie soulless on the floor

Feather after feather
someone painted them
with the colour of death
and that of damnation

My wings were covered
in dirt and shame
in guilt and remorse
and in tormenting pain

Feather after feather
I pulled them out
ripping off all my sins
to the floor they swirled

My wings are now gone
I feel empty and
bare, not able to fly
my destiny is destroyed

Father I need wings
etch them on me
ink them into my skin
I’m an angel, I need to fly

JigsawKillah:
Baba is disappointed!
I wee get berra, I pwomise

Lol, see u
U dah ayam following your lead

JigsawKillah:
straight from the heart!
deep pieces both of y'all

Yeah man. Thanks again

tohpahz:
Or better than mine,

Thank God it did mend to an extent yeah,living with the thought that i dd hurt him would be fresh in my memree like it was yesterday.

What if i had just done things d oda way instead
Or let some things go.
Or shared a lil more
Or made more calls
Or held on a Lil longer
And a million more 'ors'
Would'it' hv made it' stronger ?

The answers to those,i cant find.
Now all i have to do
Is live in the reality that consciously did i do wat i did.
And inasmuch as i miss u, add "fvvcking to that
And i wana go back in time and undo some mistakes we made(talk abt learning from experience) ,if only i could ..

Then the ugly side of u rears its head and throws me a stare in my face,a stare i detest ,a stare that makes my heart ache even to the physical aspect of that sentence.
And i remember my hurt,my own very ache .
So do i care more abt my ache or finding happiness in another while i still ache silently .

"Choice"
...even as it was pretty much to my bewilderment that she decided being seemingly overt with intentions, that word (choice) was all my head could muster....coz that's all there is, and all there's ever been.
Do I make it for her!? Oh! How I wish
Should she for herself? Overly desiring!
Raining blames on ourselves is far off the thing to do now, it's like mixing iron and clay, we wouldn't get the desired outcome; we'd still be weak and divided, soon to pass away again

What to do now? A move, yeah with respect to the choice
Coz as I had aforestated, the door is left open, yes, to who's fiiting.
So she could decide where her direction points, if she wants to fix those she feels she could have...
It's all up to her
As for me... I'm still in the waiting for a reception.

The door was left open as she did walk away...

In ruins did i live all in the guise of letting go

Seconds to minutes, hours from the former and days took over what have we now? Months gone by...

I tiptoed to the door, closing it was my sole option...
...but how do I breathe, hence my only source of ventilation?

So i crept back to my former location, sitting down; legs crossed as tho I had become a kungfu master...

...cos the aim was to revenge; get even wit all that did hurt

Buh glory be to God for the reminder that i could get even more hurt in the intended quest to get even

The multiple shattered hearts have to an extent mended

I await to stand up for and to whoever walks in

tohpahz:
This isn't a poem,its just something from deep within.



So its been three mnths.
I felt like i needed a break,actually i did.. From everything.. Yes i did again
It hurt that i left ,it still does hurt ... But i had to.. Maybe i was stupid to,maybe it was the best thing to do at that time. I really don't know. But wat i do know is that u were good to me and i let u go.
It feels like a long time ago,it feels like yesterday.. Fvvk mahn wat am i saying, nd a lil voice in my head echos (the truth)
Wen the blank for password is drawn ,inputting it becomes a problem cos u are my password (s) ,so tell me,do i change all my accounts or what.!

I dont even have the courage to look at u anymore, "moved on,gud! " i say.. U deserve better.
I remember the song and wish i ddnt. Buh actually better do u deserve,because i know u and i love you.
Maybe I'm over that ,but who knows.. Certainly not me,because my heart mind and body equals hurricane katrina and all its known for.

Some crazy habits i now do,no more the person i used to be, but fine.. Who cares!!.

Sometimes i wish we still talk,but wat wud we talk about and why the h'ell would it be called wat it is if we still talk..

In reality nobody actually cares,so off i go ,back to my bad habits..

Nothing compared to yours but then...

The door was left open as she did walk away...
In ruins did i live all in the guise of letting go
Seconds to minutes, hours from the former and days took over what have we now? Months gone by...
I tiptoed to the door, closing it was my sole option...
...but how do I breathe, hence my only source of ventilation?
So i crept back to my former location, sitting down; legs crossed as tho I had become a kungfu master...
...cos the aim was to revenge; get even wit all that did hurt
Buh glory be to God for the reminder that i could get even more hurt in the intended quest to get even
The multiple shattered hearts have to an extent mended
I await to stand up for and to whoever walks in

Deep

It's been months since we last spoke, even longer since I seen you,
I hear a couple rumours from a couple of your people,
I blank out everything now, sometimes I even question if I remember your face,
But all it takes is one little thing for it to all flood back and I start reliving the best of our days,
I called this poem "sometimes" because
Well, yea, you'll get it by the end,

Sometimes I'm sure I'm over you
I start telling my friends,
Like bro I don't think I could go through that again,
I tell'em that I wanna see you happy and I'm alright with letting you go,
But sometimes I go through a milestone and I think of every way of letting you know,
So I start clicking on your Facebook even though you're never on it,
Start asking myself why I don't just ring you, sorry I'm being honest,
Sometimes, I'll stare at your number telling myself not to call it,
So I ring you on withheld just to listen to you talking,
And here's me thinking I couldn't relate to drake,
That's a good lie,
Cause the woman that I would try,
Is happy wit uhhh... *lol*
Yea, well, you get the picture,
But that's sometimes...

Cause sometimes I'm talking to other girls seeing the potential in a new one,
She's talking about our future, I'm listening and thinking we shoulda broken up sooner,
I'm sitting here like being single made sense now...
But that's sometimes...
Because there's always something that brings me back to how you made me feel,
And sometimes I sit here blaming myself,
How did I throw it all away?
What do I need to change bout myself?
And sometimes I think "naah, she lost out on me,
She was playing too many games" if anything I start to feel free.

Sometimes I think what we had was special and I don't see how you or I could find another us again,
Then I think bout being replaced and think every relationships the same,

Sometimes I think I overthink it too much,
I never really speak out these days, I'm running out of people to trust,
And sometimes I think the only way we can get back together is if we get over each other first,
I know I know, but* lol* sometimes it makes sense
Sometimes I delete your number,
I say that because I'll get all brave and delete it like "YEA I did it"
But I know your number off by heart so it ends up back in my phone anyway. lol
Sometimes...

Sometimes I sit here thinking about you, and if you're thinking about me,
Then I think "naah, she's happy without me",
Sometimes I feel to just get up and go and get you *lol*
But it's not that easy
Sometimes I wonder if you want your hero back, them hugs when you're scared, motivation when you're worried.

Don't let me have time to myself,
Cause that's when I think of you the most,
Late at nights when we should be on the phone
Or mornings feeling weird cause we haven't spoken,

I'm starting to relate to Songs that I used to think where just good musically,
Seems like alot of singers went through this; guess it wasn't just you and me
Everyone's telling me we got a happy ending
Sometimes I believe it and sometimes I don't.

A million memories guess I gotta let 'em all pass,
At the time it felt like we where together forever
Now it's over it feels it happened so fast,
Guess there's not always a happy ending but sometimes I wish there was though,
Sometimes I can justify it sometimes I can't,
Sometimes I've got these girls telling me to get over you,
In all honesty I know they're just trying to get a chance.

Sometimes sometimes sometimes...

Sometimes I was in the wrong, sometimes you where
But no matter how complicated things got,
I'm living my life now and I added you to my prayers,

And i just pray you have a beautiful future


Now let me put this poem out before that last statement becomes a sometimes!!!

Lol #True