₦airaland Forum

Shokoloko:
One advice, whether you were right about the divorce or you were wrong and acted in haste, you are going to regret it. You are going to cry and feel despair/fear. You might want to call up the person and beg. You might want to call up your family and rant/cry
When that feeling of regret comes (it will come) DO NOT ACT ON IT. Lock yourself up: shout, scream, cry to make yourself feel better.

Do not go looking for a relationship with the OPPOSITE SEX UNTIL ALL THE FEELINGS HAVE COME AND GONE.
I honestly wish you have a support system. it makes it better

IT WILL PASS!!!

Haste is not even close. How I managed to stay this long is a miracle. Heck, my wife's elder brother even joked to me at a time, asking me how I cope with his sister. He told me he can't tolerate half of what I tolerate. I do not want to delve much into details but I am certain I tried my best.

InvertedHammer:
/
God didn't marry.

Even at 33, Jesus refused to marry.

Satan didn't marry.

Catholic church (oldest christian religion) decided their priests will not marry.

There is something they are not telling us

/

LOL

babythug:
I’d say be positive.
Don’t be quick to get into another relationship.
Take time to evaluate your old marriage and be honest To yourself regarding your wrongdoings.
If kids are involved be the best parent you can be - funding , spend time where possible
Don’t focus on what your ex did or did not do
Focus on your appearance and health
And yes there will be times you wish you had stuck it out
Cc: foreman

Thanks.

Pacesetter2021:
if what you said is true, then pls look into this deeply in terms of living arrangement for the girls. My mother was carefree when I was little and I gree up always fighting to protect myself from more molestation. Whatever you do, let the girls not be left in a potentially harmful environment and their mum shldnt be denied access to them. And if you are getting divorced, hope your focus is to raise those girls to the best of your ability and not to get a new wife that will give you a boy..... It most likely will get worse from there, I mean your life and peace.

LOL. I won't need another wife for as long as I can see. In fact, it's a surprise to me that I stayed long in the current one. It's really a tiresome experience. I won't compromise on security and safety of my kids sha.

Thanks people for your contributions.

My children are girls, very brilliant girls. Apart from their mother being a control freak, I think she is okay to take care of them. The major concern for me is that she seems to be naïve about people around the children. She tried to leave them at a time with one of her siblings to look after them, of course I didn't agree because its a guy, a guy that we drink together sometimes. She allows them go to neighbors house, for extended hours, to play which I have had to intervene in the past. And so many instances that we had serious disagreements. I cannot just imagine my girls left around potential rapists. My wife believes my mind is too dirty. I agree. But I have seen things that makes me suspicious of people and I don't want to take chances, especially with girls. If they were boys, I wouldn't even bother. I grew up on the streets and I believe boys must see ugly side of life.

I am thinking taking them with me and hiring a mature maid will work.

Vision101:
@ahnie
Mba what love came not do...does never ever exist.you must be pay all the bills,love and pamper me and my extended family,sing to me every morning...lace my feet with vanilla and lick.see infact you must worship me.


Provide funds for me to travel see the world every week,shop and visit choice places.
These re all I want ...Deal or no deal?


pls kindly propose to me with a Ferrari.


@me
Then I offer that you take my life because that is the only thing can pay for what you listed.

Are you ready to take my life?

Is it not better to ask what she brings to the table?

mutter:
Interestingly enough I was having a conversation last week with my ex husband.
I have been remarried cover 23 years.
For the first time he was ready to talk reasonably about where it went wrong.
In retrospect if we were wiser we might have kept the marriage upright because we really did love ourselves.
Despite his atrocities... and they were many, I made effort to keep a good communication and I thank God for that.
It must not always end in scandal and fighting.
Strangely enough we remained good friends.
We advise and encourage one another in difficult times. Z
When a marriage has broken down irretrievably its time to part ways but one should do so in a humane way.

23 years wow. How did you guys handle children?
@bolded, why did you say that?

evil1:
Let me tell you few things as a lawyer

Divorce is one hell of a process. Even the lawyer handling such matrimonial causes have to be very strong emotionally, if not it might affect him/her emotionally and pschologically. This is because emotions are put into play not just by the parties but also their respective counsel.

on the other hand, the divorce process is a very lengthy one and as such you should be prepared both emotionaly and financially.

Things you should consider are
1 Children and their custody (If the marriage is already blessed with one)
2 Property acquired within the marriage
3 Maintenance fee if it arises
4 Alternative Dispute Resolution ( court wil try as much as possible for you both to reconcile before even hearing your divorce petition).
5 The type of marriage you both underwent (Customary/traditional or Statutory marriage or the both).

Other matters will follow when the process is on

Thanks. I would say my case is not so troublesome. We kind of have mutual understanding on who takes care of what.

I am just trying to decide whether to take some of the children or not because I know I don't have time to take care of them. Yet I need to know the implication of a woman raising kids alone.

Kelvinhunta:
I have passed through it, it's nothing that you can't handle! Marriage is the best option but when life is threatened, divorce is only the wise option. Depending on if you have kids, plans about coparenteing the kids. Babes go de run for u ooo. So think wella

Actually, I am almost done with the process. It's just the kids thing that's remaining for me. Can you shed more light on co-parenting, how does it work? What are the pros and cons of raising kids separately?

Oizee:
what's your story?

Complicated.

luminouz:
@pretend.

I have these to say:

1. Why did you have to hide your popular moniker? No one here would have judged you based on your story. Sometimes, sharing these stories with your KNOWN moniker drives home the point and makes better examples for others.

2. Just take it easy:
Hell, you went through a harrowing experience and survived, take some chill pill on this 24 year old babe. A student and that young? She is prolly shit testing, rigmarolling and rope-a-doping you to commit. You have been out the game for a year so naturally, your dating game is outdated but don't stress yourself on this chick by making the damn first move to call,text or whatever. She should on a norm have called to let you know how far, even if na to just say thank you for the outing and 5k you spent. Little gestures like that go beyond the act,to the personality within. Either she is not into you or she is being a woman with her drama.
My advice: Relax your mind, If she doesnt call to check on you. Meet more girls,get your frame and game up to date. Things will naturally pick up from there.

N.B: So your fiancée left you,despite your being in a lucrative profession(doctor), when you were sick and needed her? Well, the lesson there is you can't trust anyone unflinchingly but your own frame

Ikillbrokegirls made a valid point below your post.

Nice one.

In addition pretend, if you take any lady out, spend your money on them and they don't call back to say thank you or even message. Don't ever bother to call the lady again. If she calls after a while respond but you have to proceed with caution from there. From my experience entitled girls are the worst to deal with. It's either they think they worth more than you or you already appear needy to them.

Don't call. If she doesn't call, burst it. She didn't feel you the last time

SportsHD:
I'm not even married yet but i know I'm getting a divorce.
As a future divorcee, life's good. yunno banging pretty beaches, my kids going to the best school. My ex wife receiving her allowance every month.

It's nice to finally have freedom.

be careful what you wish for. Don't even bother to marry if you have this mindset.

tonak:
Very depressing. Try not to be alone all the time. Also, do not check her social media pages, Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram etc.At the end you'll be fine.

Thanks. Depression isn't even close.

veave:
My dear you will not really get any tangible advice until we hear jist.
That's how nairaland works. You give us something, we give you something in return.

I see LOL.

adadike:
i don't like divorce at all and I don't pray to end it suddenly with my future husband
Can you tell us why you want to get divorced, maybe we can help remedy the situation Biko my dear, divorce is not the best

I think we have passed that stage dear. Just preparing for the aftermath. I really need people who have passed through the experience.

Why una dey judge wetin you no know anything about?

SanctifiedSista:
am not divorced nasty breakup

LOL. Your own better nah. You are not even yoked yet.

SanctifiedSista:
I wish I was more truthful and did not yoke myself to an unbeliever...miss him but relieved it's over

Wow. truth be told, differences in religious leaning is a big issue.

Did you guys have children, how are you coping with them?

I am about to get divorced. Just wanted have an idea from people who have experience.

Are there things you wish you did differently?

BLOODYSPERM:
Twitter and Facebook are leftist politically correct platforms where unpleasant ugly truths about women's nature are not entertained for open discussion or dialogue, you would be reported as offensive to women and attacked with ad hominems like toxic , misogynist, then you would be censored and eventually deplatformed


Social media prioritizes poliltcal correctness over factual correctness

It seems the whole thing is connected to the benjamins. Think about the platform itself. If women are displeased with your SM platform, what do you think will happen to your business?

DEMZEE:
Lol

I'm still waiting for someone to counter my patriarchal stance though

We are just filled with feminized men who camouflage as redpillers sha especially in this thread

gROW uP

papiforreal:
True. Islam religion is filled with redpill truth about women. I wonder how Islam was able to get it right about women nature 1500 years ago while we still have simp in our midst in 2021.

Take a look at this hadith:
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “I was shown Hell and I have never seen anything more terrifying than it. And I saw that the majority of its people are women.” They said, “Why, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Because of their ingratitude (kufr).” It was said, “Are they ungrateful to Allah?” He said, “They are ungrateful to their companions (husbands) and ungrateful for good treatment. If you are kind to one of them for a lifetime then she sees one (undesirable) thing in you, she will say, ‘I have never had anything good from you.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 1052)

I have witnessed this scenario legit in my life, a woman tell her husband that has been footing her bills for many years that he has never done anything good to her, just because he could not afford to buy her 30k ashobe. Omo I shock that day.

Also check this hadiths also. I will be posting some Islamic literatures that I think are relevant to redpill.

Abu Udhaynah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The best of your women are loving, fertile, suitable, and comforting, if they fear Allah. The worst of your women unveil their beauty, take pride in their appearance, and they are hypocrites. None of them will enter Paradise except as rarely as you see a red-beaked crow.” Source: al-Sunan al-Kubrá 12480 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.” [Ibn Maajah, and was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani]

At the bolded. I can confirm this first hand as a married man. I have also seen cases around me.

Skepticus:
I've not insulted you and it's good that you revealed your deeply-seated insecurity which has shown by you addressing other guys here who politely reply you as "LOW VALUE" and other tropes that reeks of a poor, weak frame.

Anyway, before I end my conversation with you, I've always seen you around comment sections that made front page trying to explain "red pill" to the female monikers and how they egg you on till you give them the cheap attention they seek. Please, try to reduce it so they can see you as the tough patriarch you claim to be. Telling them the game is a lame move.

Have a good day.

Wucked somebody.

seunmsg:
I can bet you’re from the south but you’re here hyperventilating on how to make sure a northerner defeats a southerner in 2023 after 8 years of Buhari rule.

So tell me, what does the south stand to gain from another Fulani presidency? Will the south be better off under an Atiku presidency than a Tinubu presidency?

It’s such a shame that lots of southerners are willing to cut their nose to spite their face. Atiku and Tambuwal are as nepotistic as Buhari. They will rule Nigeria the same way Buhari is ruling. Someone like Atiku will even be worse because he’s extremely corrupt and very wicked. It’s time for the south to stop this politics of bitterness and acrimony.

Atiku is not nepotistic though. His network cuts across every part of Naija.

Lordcassy:
Kings
Women do not fall in love, they think they do but rather they fall in love with how you make them feel.
They are only capable of loving their children unconditionally.

Kings
Never marry a woman that has tattoo, you can bang them but only for a short term, tattoo usually symbolizes she lacks impulse control, she being cover with shows psychological beauty.

Kings
The red pill � only teaches about women and inter sexual dynamics. For you to get the chicks you have to have game and become a high value man.

Kings
When gaming a chick I do not care how pretty she looks..always maintain strong eye contact and have a good posture. do not ever slouch..be a confident alpha

Kings
Most of you are not alpha naturally that does not mean you can not have that alpha mindset, get a job,strive for promotion, if things are not going your ways do not wallow in victimhood, grab your balls and be a man. Start a business, if you can..i don't care if you are selling shoes by the roadside, find a way to spread your web hire another boy to sell the shoes for you or if you want to start a business and know nothing plus you can't grasp concepts from books. go find a mentor in that field and work for him for free till you get it. make sure you dress like an alpha man, groom like an alpha, walk like an alpha.

Kings
Train her like a dog, if she misbehave don't take it or excuse it call her to order, call her on her shit and if she behave well reward her. do not reinforce bad behavior and always be spinning plate.

Kings
if you want a first date lay, take her out of the norm. do not be like other guys that take her to restaurants. take her to where you like to to do stuffs and make sure she participate, let her enter your frame, for instance bowling,arcade somekind of fun activities that will get her blood pumping and you comfortable. Alcohol may be used if she drinks, if she don't the adrenaline will do the trick and also make a damn move..be willing to lose her, try to kiss, grab her waist, be confident about it don't be creepy and apologetic...if she is a known loose hoe ignore this and just invite to your house.

Kings
Red pill alone won't get you chick, red pill is like faith and faith without work is dead.
know the red pill,become a high value man, learn to speak well, broaden your knowledge and have game..i don't care if you look like Shrek, there is no girl you can not get.

Damn. LOL. Cut the fuc-king chase

Dliquidmetal:
you are very much correct sire,I'm not so sure but from what I see around in this country people hardly read books outside their school curriculums which is so sad. The more I read the more lonely I feel and the more ignorant people I meet,I'm currently reading "laws of human nature" by Robert greene i think,that book is very much helpful making me understand my emotions better and how to best control it cause in my line of work what could be your biggest barrier are emotions but I know I'd get a hand of it soon,I'm gonna keep studying books till I die.
But I dont know why I find my school books boring this days lol they dont even interest me anymore you got any idea why?

I think you know.

emmaodet:
Rather than constantly putting myself on unnecessary pressure to perform and please a woman, i will rather pump and dump them thereby putting them on pressure to secure my commitment.
Bro,life is hard enough, don't let us add women's issues to it.
Most of my life, have always been in a position to impress others. Always trying to get their attentions, to be in their good book so as to receive praise from them.
From our parents, to trying to impress our teachers in school so that they will like us, to our pastors so that they will recognise us, all the way to our boss at work so that we will be in their good book, down to our gfs/wives/women so that they won't leave us or start considering other guys.
Enouuuughhh!!!!
I am fuuucking tired of trying to impress others. Who will impress me? Or is that a taboo? Am i not human too?
Ever since i realized that pattern, have made a reverse, a U-turn.
I don't impress my pastor again - he has been giving me cold shoulder lately because other members are falling over to buy him things, raise money to send his family on vacation etc
At work, i just do my thing. No more among workers trying their best to be boss boy - worst case scenario - you sack me or not promote me when due. Solution - i mind my business and alternative sources of income.
Women - i even enjoy there own more, ever since i stopped trying to impress them, i noticed there is this peace of mind, no more pressure to impress, i just do my thing. I f you like me fine, if not faasii. Even if you like me, na your problem. I just pump and dump.
Now all i hear is am arrogant, pompous, feeling to high or big, wetin i get sef, i qm stubborn etc i just don't care anymore. To hell with them all

Congratulations bro. Once you get to this stage, you are indeed a free man. I am here I believe, the feeling has been on top of the world. Now I am described with similar words. LOL

sylve11:
The truth of the matter is, I can not hate others because someone I am trying to attract hates those people.

The person I am trying to attract can look bush if he or she wants that.

I think you miss the point. Don't join to hate, but pretend to.

Jessepaid:
Hehehe...


A man once told me....


If you want to get married to a lady...
And you want to know the whole truths about her origin and family



Go to her village without informing her....



Pick any beer parlour....




Buy the men there drinks....



Get the conversation going with them...


Then randomly ask about the girl and her family....



They will say everything good or bad...



About the beer parlour being a place for men to drown their sorrows...


I always say remove beer parlours, bars and brothels from the equation and most men will either commit suicide and the rates of domestic violence will increase..

Damn right

Orpazpjr:
Woahhhh!!

So while men are trying to redefine the limits to what civilization really holds, women who are more introspective are interested in figuring out how to string men along in line with their agendas.

LOL. While men are battling themselves, sometimes to death, to get one political office or the other, women are busy campaigning for 35% affirmative action in allocating the spoils, political office. It beats me why politicians listen at all.

Jessepaid:
hehehe....


you misunderstood me...


the society creates the reality that a man should help himself... this reality turns into action as the man begins to work for himself without expecting help....


if he ever has a breakthrough it gives him self confidence..

that self confidence gives him courage to keep pushing and repeating his breakthrough thus leading to success...


As much as we all want it to be, we must realise that life isn't fair...

and men are forged not pampered to greatness..



pressure and intimidation is leading so many guys to their early graves... because they are still stuck in the matrix not red pill but the society matrix...

the fear of what people will say and the act of trying to always be at par with the society is simping on another level...


the ladies are moving ahead how?

because they are getting jobs that they are probably sexually harassed for or paying in kind for?

most women are not going anywhere they are lurking around...


they are always lacking something...


if they have money they lack love...

if they have a marriage they might be lacking good sex...


never compare yourself with a woman you are far better..


the married ladies are now scared of losing their husbands to side chicks....

Even if they have all those, they will manufacture something to make them unhappy. I don nearly see them finish.

BLOODYSPERM:
Women sexualize themselves as much as possible meaning through exercise, tight clothes, long hair, make-up, and so on and learn dance and other things.

The woman will become trapped in her own game but she is certainly trying to get the wealthiest and socially desired male.

Why the fvck won't you improve yourself and status to game effectively so you can have the abundance and optionality of multiple women,when women do it normally on a daily basis

#GAME
#PUA
#REDPILL

Word.