cococandy:
Divorced parents don't need to bad-mouth each other. All the kid/s needs to know is that it wasn't working out.

There's no upside to raising kids in a violent marriage compared to a single parent home.
It is worse. Many have died at the hands of their husbands or wives as we read in the news all the time.
And I know two women liked by their husbands.

A violent marriage is worse than a divorce by far.

One way or the other they will out grow that"it didn't work out"explanation and demand for a real explanation lol trust me on that and when they don't get it will create a rift who amongst the that refused to explain. Singles in courtship waste time on irrelevancies instead of probing and addressing important things only to end up getting married and finding out it won't work, at the end innocent children suffer, it's very unfortunate.

EfemenaXY:


I'm still keen on hearing your advice on what she can do to curtail her man's wandering eyes.

will post after work tomorrow, would have read her thread by then. Gosh where is this sleep with i need it? It's 12am.

Flytefalls:
People on this forum tend to underestimate children in situations such as these. In every case a child can deduce which parent is the cause of most of the misery at home. A house with both parents is not always the healthiest option, that's the truth

Okay okay okay, I know when to back down at least. Seems all the ladies are of same opinion (smiles). Will go back to my sit and enjoy the thread. Good job all the same.

cococandy:
A broken home is not only one where the parents are divorced.
Some married men and women still operate broken Homes.
And it affects the kids too as obviously shown in the attitude of the man.
It is even worse than single parenthood because the kids see violence and infidelity as normal in their formative years.

I agree with you on that but don't you think it's better for a child to grow up knowing which of the two was the bad parent than growing up and hearing from mum "your father was this, that..." And when she is with the father she hears "your mother was this and that", this leaves the child utterly confused and in a dilemma. But if the father is abusive and in the midst of it all the mother is trading the child and advising them or the child not to thread the part the father has and letting em know why she still decided to stay in the marriage they will grow up to know better, i wish and hope I won't be misunderstood, unless the situation can't be managed, if out can't then she can walk out, some men are animals. Will need to read her thread.

EfemenaXY:


Requests? Not sure.

I know you mentioned something about sending her wastapp messages. I can tell you here and now that, that isn't a good idea and you'll only get her into trouble. You don't need a crystal ball to see that her husband would most likely jump to the wrong conclusion(s) if he finds out that a strange male is communicating with his wife via social media. I suggest you give your advice here, out in the open as a lot of other readers on here may learn a thing or two from you.

As per her thread, simply click on her profile and you'll see the one and only thread she created way back in 2013. Read it. It should more than answer many of the questions you're asking here.

I will prefer her thread, notice that's the first thing i asked for in my first post when I modified it, the whatsapp was the last option if she won't be comfortable with divulging her husband's character in public oh lol. Thanks for directing me to her thread, will read it up tomorrow and see what i can come up with, I hope it will be useful at the end.

EfemenaXY:


Okay then.

Re the bolded: now this, I would like to see.

I have made some requests, did u see em? In my first and last post. I believe the husband is playing mind games and she needs to beat him at his own hand fair and square in such a way that he won't mess with a woman in his next life.

EfemenaXY:


And this sacrifice you mention - is just her cross to bear, abi? Purely the woman's responsibility?

What part does the man have in bringing up his kids in the right path? Or is it hands-off for him? Because right now, he's setting a terrible example for his kids and they can see how much disrespect he dumps on her head, and how much pain she's in. Her little girl's taken to consoling mummy and wiping off the tears from her face.

Tell me, is this what a child so young should be seeing? I hope you know children are very astute and can see, process, and store information about what's happening around them?

No it's not what a child should be seeing, if horses can be broken then every man can be broken, that's why i said i will come to how to deal with the husband later, the truth is i need to know his full character profile before i can suggest on what and what she could do, i could get that by reading her thread, her posting it here if she is comfortable or if she isn't we could do a whatsapp chat. I am not in anyway in support of the man, if you read me well my focus is on managing the situation and still giving the child a normal life. Thank you.

EfemenaXY:


For crying out loud!

What are you saying?

Have sex without emotions? Go through life existing but not living? Sit tight in your marriage even if domestic violence is involved?

And you wonder why her self-esteem is at an all time low? It's easy for you to give out this sort of advice because you aren't at the receiving end of being pummelled. Please, let's be very mindful of the sort of advice we give out to others, knowing fully well that if the shoe was on the other foot, it won't be tolerated.

Would you advice your daughter to stay in a relationship that's got domestic violence? You think it's normal for a woman to have her self-worth torn to shreds to the point where she's afraid of her own shadow and has to tip-toe on eggshells around her man for fear of upsetting him? And what sort of environment is this to bring up a child? If you go though her thread created a little over a year ago, you'll see the comment she made about confiding in an elder male member of his family and the crappy advice given to her. Not only did this "elder" tell her that she should count herself lucky for him letting her live under his roof, but that his father did much worse to his mother. Now can you see the vicious cycle?

Guy, Pls.

I think u misunderstood me. All i said is no sex (like she is already doing now) no emotions attached instead she should focus on the sacrifice of ensuring her grows up like every normal child. I like to see this as an open discussion and not an e-quarrel oh (smiles). I am simply opposing divorce, that should be a last resort.

Modified: I think I need to read her thread. Could u post a link please? Thank you. If no child is involved i would personally scream divorce, just trying to be sure all available options are exhausted. Finally my comments were not to mess the good thing yall got going on here, keep the positive energy flowing sister.(smiles)

unsuregirl:
My problem is confusing the hell out of me. I have been married for two months to a guy that I have dated for 5 years before marriage. We tend to get into arguments and he is usually not very responsive during arguments which makes me feel helpless. Last night, we had such an argument over sexual matters where I felt that I can not sleep unless he resolves and does what I needed him to do and hence I kept asking him to make an effort but he kept telling me he is too tired to do anything now and we should wait till morning. So I was shaking him to keep him from sleeping and ended up frustrated enough to force him to have intimacy ,  the force did not work and he got angry and became more rigid and ignored me endlessly and finally he said he will hit me if i did not let him sleep now. He twisted my arm and that made me angry and I kicked him a few times when he said that he will go out of the house and I told him he should and that his anger is not going to resolve anything, this time his anger will end everything and he is too selfish to consider my feelings. This was when he slapped me and called me some names. I was too shocked and I slept outside and I have been thinking of leaving him ever since,  He still does not think he did anything wrong, just keeps saying that I made him slap him by not letting him sleep when he needed to and that he does not enjoy it but has to do it to stop me , I think thats crap since there can be no excuse for slapping somebody,  Should I leave the marriage right away?

Lol u dey crase oh. All these talk of leaving marriage makes me puke, we all have buttons, know the wrong ones and stop pressing them, a man shouldn't hit a woman but damn u pushed him too far and he tried to control himself and you nag plus even the worst threatened him that his going out well end everything, u dey crase oh, stay away from telemundo and fix ur attitude. Use ur power to get him to screw u and not to order him like he is Kunta Kinte or some Mandingo honcho.

MrsOJ:

Hello dear pls leave that marriage, therez nothing left for you therer cos frankly ur hubby aint changing today, tomorrow or next. Pls save your life now the opportunity is staring you in the face, remember this is your second chance to be brave and take that bold step. U might not have it again( God Forbid) Wish you the best

I love this thread, I know it's for wives and have been holding myself on this matter, honestly I can't hold any longer especially when it comes to divorce. Speaking from personal experience I will tell you that only a selfish woman or man walks out of a marriage when children or a child already exists, it will take a miracle for that child to be normal. Not ignoring the fact that there is a marital challenge here but where children are part of the equation divorce shouldn't even be thought of. Should she die in the marriage? Hell no, this is where her survival skills should kick in because if u walk out of the marriage you are indirectly teaching your children that divorce is the only solution and easiest way out of any serious marital issue.

Only a man will tell you the best way to handle another man cos we understand how most of us are wired, I won't ask a man for advice if I have issues with my wife, rather i would go to a matured woman with no less than 20 years experience as a wife. Here is my candid advice from a masculine perspective. You still have something left in that marriage, your daughter, on how to deal with ur husband I will come to that. Right now focus on training and raising ur child in a compete family setting that's you and ur husband, do everything ur supposed to do for him as a wife but no sex or emotions attached (you are doing this to give ur child the adequate environment to grow in. Stay away from those silly excuses ur husband uses to hit you, always remind yourself that you are in this for your child, not you, not him, that child must have a normal life cos she is innocent so you don't rob her of that. I agree with every other advice u have been given but divorce? HELL NO. Will address how to deal with your husband later but for now forget walking out, most of these wonderful ladies here grew up in compete homes and know nothing about the psychological effect of not growing up with single parents, Like I said, Good job to Op and others giving counsels but please where kids are involved never talk of divorce cos u got no idea (no disrespect intended, good job, much love from here).

I pray that one day some people who fight online discover they are related by blood or work in the same company and same building or it will require a signature of one of the parties to sign a contract the other has pursued for a long time, u will just imagine the embarrassment and look on they faces.

A friend of mine who was once a school principal pursued a contract for months from Kano, Abuja finally to Lagos spending so much money (millions) to push it through and on the final day he had an appointment with the overall boss in Lagos guess what happened? The secretary to oga kpata kpata was a former student in his secondary school, not just that, he dealt with this girl terribly and yes ur guess is as good as mine, she turned him down at the office "oga is not around Sir, he travelled to dubai". My guy almost fainted, on his way down he remembered the face, went back and confirmed she was the one and she recognised him too but still turned down his appointment and that's how he lost the contact. He gave us this account when he got back to Kano.

Moral of the story is that this world is a small place and we should try and as much as possible be nice to each other. Nneka and xandy(pardon me if i spelt the monikers wrongly) in the spirit of Valentine i want the two of u to settle ur differences here in fact for this new baby's sake (smiles). Love you all.

#modified: some of the best friendships I know that stood the test of time started with these kind of frictions, no ego will be bruised, I just want yall to settle these qualms.

Whatever they like make them do, I have personally chosen not to go back to my base ph until after elections, if I as much as perceive "Civil" talk less of "war" I don from ilorin enter Benin republic lol, after my experience in Kano i won't be stupid enough to get myself entangled in any shenanigan.

By the powers vested in me I name him Valentino XV de Nairalando de Ventiuriano. TAKE IT AWAY AND JAHHHH BLESS HIM, YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

astOorR:



JOHN!!

correct.

Onila darling I pray ur done with posting these "posh foods"? Please let's go back to the calabar akwa ibom native foods threads, now that's more posh lol. You make me wanna take u hostage oh, i love food, guilty as charged.

More please, Onila darling leave ur posh food thread, it's posh already right here.

obongproff:


Omo, e be like say na to open 'Marriage-Phobia' Club be dat oh, since we don plenty

Am in oh. Haven't dated for 4 years now, scared of marriage, just that fear of making a wrong decision wallahi and the thought of putting up with women's drama considering the fact that I have a short fuse.

I hate domestic abuses and have sworn that divorce will never be an option if i finally get married, but how do u manage a woman who knows that and takes advantage of the fact that u want a peaceful marriage chooses to give u hell for nothing?

Am I the only one having this feeling? Seriousbabe and Cklent will hook up soon and maybe get married ha ha hhaaaaa, na so e dey start.

mixedgene:
This is serious and got me thinking lately, can a normal bloke with an active sexual life do without touching a wowan for atleast one full month and still maintain his sanity without distractions whatsoever? if yes, please what is the secret?

candid opinion is welcome

I know a workaholic who hasn't had sex since 2012 personally.

Mama John has three children named Coke, Fanta. What is the name of the third child?

Zohan:
The mumu knew the crime scene na. Ok op i have a question for you.
You need to measure one gallon of oil Out of a barrel but you only have a three gallon container and a five gallon container. How do you do it?

Simple, fill the 3ltr gallon, pour inside the 5litr, fill the 3 ltr again pour inside the 5litr but this time two litres will fill up the 5ltr gallon and u will have 1ltr in the 3ltr gallon left, pour the 5ltr back into the barrel and go about ur business with 1 ltr in the 3 ltr gallon. Hope someone else hasn't answered it lol.

@op

Lol ur case is simple, tell himyou will if he accepts to return the favour by allowing you pee in his mouth, since love is mutual so is respect he has to respect ur desire too, that man will never raise that topic again, i swallow ur fluid, u swallow mine lol watch him run from the matter.

[quote author=phemmyutd post=30635694][/quote]

Lol ur case is simple, tell himyou will if he accepts to return the favour by allowing you pee in his mouth, since love is mutual so is respect he has to respect ur desire too, that man will never raise that topic again, i swallow ur fluid, u swallow mine lol watch him run from the matter.

Now how do u mess with a 7 year old's brain. Okay Peter and Paul what u saw was me helping your daddy to adjust his thing because he couldn't sleep last night it was paining him....... Awww forget about it, your daddy needed help and I helped him, that's, what two grown up people who love each other do........you know what? Kneel down, why did you enter our room without knock, #ituay ituay (flog them senseless, it will format their memory), repeat the same flogging session at night when they asleep by morning the issue won't be what they saw but not knocking before entry lol.

It's very important to know your trading system's WIN:LOSS ratio(how many times you win VS how many times you loose).

Below is a template i have made to helpu decide on the best minimum risk reward ratio to use for ur your trading system depending on ur trading system's win loss ratio to stay profitable.

(RISK: REWARD), (WIN: LOSS)
1. (1:10), (1:9)
2. (1.5) , (2:Eight)
3. (1:3), (3:7)
4. (1:2), (4:6)
5. (1:2), (5:5)
6. (1:1), (6:4)

If every "1" under risk: reward represents a dollar ur net profit after ten trades (the sum of the numbers in the brackets under win loss ratio) will be as follows:

NET PROFIT.
1. $1
2. $2
3. $2
4. $2
5. $5
6. $2

You can see that 4, 5 and 6(6 because the risk reward ratio is easy) are the best. Know ur trading system's win loss ratio first before choosing the risk reward ratio to use per trade.

Now number five is my main concern, u see that with as little as 5 wins (50% profitability of the trading system) it still gave the highest profit.

Questions are welcomed. Tom especially this post is for u.

@tom under funding is not ur main problem, you need more than that to succeed. I have pasted chat I had yesterday with a member of my forum and if u can follow these principles then ur on ur way.

[5:46am, 2/4/2015] Forexmart: Discipline is not even the first issue

[5:46am, 2/4/2015] Forexmart: You can't be disciplined about nothing

[5:47am, 2/4/2015] Forexmart: You can only be disciplined about following up a plan, decision and stance towards a subject under consideration in this case a trading plan

[5:48am, 2/4/2015] Forexmart: So where there is no trading plan there is absolutely nothing discipline can do.

[5:50am, 2/4/2015] Forexmart: Now talking of trading plan, you cannot have a trading plan when you haven't decided the kind of money management structure or template to use.

[5:51am, 2/4/2015] Forexmart: Now to money management structure, you can't decide which money template or structure to use if you do not know your trading system.

[5:52am, 2/4/2015] Forexmart: Knowing ur trading system means knowing the relationship between the two most important features of a trading system anatomy

[5:53am, 2/4/2015] Forexmart: The anatomy of a trading system is made up of 1. Risk reward ratio and 2. win loss ratio

[5:54am, 2/4/2015] Forexmart: Your average risk reward ratio is derived from the average win: loss ratio.

[5:56am, 2/4/2015] Forexmart: Finally you can't know ur trading system's average win loss ratio until you trade the system and take records for a minimum of 1 month.

[5:57am, 2/4/2015] Forexmart: I have just dissected ut from top down for u so u see that discipline is far far away in the top rank.


So tom take a break go back to the drawing board and start from the bottom up.

honeric01:


I fear o, i for say....

My screen is still giving me headache, i am getting a new phone this week hopefully. away with this YEYE phone that wants to blind me.

Okay chief, icell don too chop ur pips money abeg, change am.

Optimisticgondy:
Sorry about the loss bro..but honestly speaking, you need to work on your money management. If your risk per trade was 5% on that $90, you wouldn't lose more than $4.5. Losing this amount of money on just two trades shows greed; you probably wanted to double your account with just a trade which is bad

Lol he will even have to pass the free money management training i am planning to give him before the signals. Money management is 80% in this business, trading system and the rest makes up the remaining 20%.

tom29reloaded:


thanks bro. can't connect u on whatsapp. something is wrong at my end or urs. is still my old number. i sent u a mail.

for those shouting 5k, Forexmart signal service goes a minimum of 15k. when he told me, i said it was too expensive cos my capital was just $100. I didn't bother with it again.

Try again. Ur whatsapp has to work to get the signals.

Owliver:
FOREXMARTS the alert you intended given Tom why not give the thread also. At least to clear the air. Its only a suggestion though...

You see that's the problem, am not trying to clear any air on anything. Don't forget I announced and did a a free one week signal service from 5th Monday January to Friday 9th 2015. Anyone who was sincere about clearing the air would have signed up. The serious ones did.

Not a bad suggestion tho but it won't be fair to subscribers. What i have decided to do for tom is out of my own free will and when am ready i will announce another free signal period for those who want to sign up. Thanks all the same.

@raycols. I don't remember ever telling anyone to pay 5k here. Pull up a post, the minimum you can pay for my service is 15k per month with other packages ranging from 20k to 30k so keep dreaming. Your woes just started from today for bearing false witness unless God is not alive.

Hmmmmmm