₦airaland Forum

Special announcemet
this is to imform the general public that the much anticipated program fraiser nd rukky live on tv has now been shifted to 9pm-1am daily in order to allow the citizens and illegal immigrants of this city have uninterrupted nysc related discussions even though all d discussions no even touch d heart of nysc to open camp on 2nd of march. All interested viewers should kindly tune their tv to golden city television by 9pm for fraiser nd rukky live on tv which wil be co-hosted by spinxytinxy, fraih, sent4rina, kbs468, crobboy, justified10, missoyin, SC31. We assured our esteem viewers of no dulling moment and comedy extravaganza.
This announcement is sponsored by the program producer LogoDwhiz. For sponsorship you can contact the program director Amodu
cc
Rukkyola
spinxytinxy
fraih
LogoDwhiz
sent4rina
crobboy
justified10
Amodu
missoyin
kbs468
SC31
all senators
all ministers
all citizens
all illegal immigrants

spixytinxy:
lol, all na same na

enh enh I no know o

spixytinxy:
na wa for am oooo, very soon now na paraga

paraga ke? Me no too dey drink da one o, unless I get one season film wey I won watch, i guess u understand

Cindy222:
The extra cash now what else lol...

ouch! U just disappoint me sha i no even know say na catch u won talk, I tink say na dat...

Sent4rina:
E go shock u..8-)

ok lets wait nd see, u dey threaten me abi, e go chock u too wen i collect am patapata from ur hand

Cindy222:
Yes now Akwa ibom is a dope and lovely place plus the incentive lol.... you know what i mean now....

abeg shed more lyt because I no know am, I no dey understand parable

justified10:
he lyk drink gan..na palmwine talk everyday..

he don graduate am go dry gin now..

fraiser , rora jaiye o

padimi jo je ki n jaye o, aye o pe meji

spixytinxy:
u too like drink, early dis morning u don dey tlk abt drink

abah lyk drink ke? I no talk say make we drink am nw, I talk say make we go take am brush our teeth, I no dey drink am o, me dey only use am wash mouth ni

Rukkyola:
me sef neva understand them.make my sent4rina catch them ist

bur wait o, oya tell me d truth I no go tell anybody, shebi u luv me for deep inside inside ur mind

boboLIL:
lols chill abeg

naso baba, fight don finish b dat, oya make we enter one palmwine joint make we go take six bottles of regal drygin brush our teeth dis morni my gud friend

Sent4rina:
I pity u my dear friend. Lion catwark is not an attribute of cowardliness o.

lol.. U sure?

At dis junction, I need to respect mysef nd go nd meet dis sleep as hin don dey call me since bfor d sleep disrespect me nd kidnap me unawares again. To all d citizens nd illegal immigrants of golden city I say gudnyt

Kbs468:
Hahahaha.

Fraiser, justified19, LogoDWhiz, Fraih, CROBBOY, Spixytinxy, et al make una come see ooo

Sent4rina, abeg your wife is caught up in her own cobwebs here oo.

No wonder all naija comedians still they honour and hold Ali Baba in high esteem.

I know that many of you are confused about where I am heading to already.

But justified19 would clear up any mix up you fail to understand anyway.

still laughing away my thing

wetin u dey see baba, me no get inner eyes o

Rukkyola:
pressy dah mornin no b small tin.so u mean u sef no knw sey ur country baje 4 ur head dat mornin wey dem cari bomb com tro 4 hea.na God say make i de around 2 hep u settle d fyt.all of ina com run live onli me 4 hea meanwyl na we spoil d country 2geda.
Pressy do u knw dat doz haters are actually plenty in dis city.u nid 2 increase security fa.
Imagine if 1 of dem just voice out lyk dis,na so d remainin ov dem go stat 2 dey comot one by one 2 support dea colleaque,others go even dey hit on lyk.
U need 2 assign me as ur special advicer fa because no b evritin ur brain take sharp 4.If u ask them question
1. Na hu sabi d information wey dem dey com find 4 hea
answer; na u and our fellow colleaque even tho me i no sabi buk
2.na hu them dey vex
answer; u and our fellow colleague
3.y dem dey com hea if they vex
answer: because them b olodo
4.Dem pay u make u dey wrk 4 dem
answer: they no pay
5.if u vex live dis city 4 dem unko,wetin dem go do
answer: dea lyf go remain confused
6.them no they tink b4 dem talk?
Answer: dem no even get brain.

dis one wey u talk na oyo u dey o, if dem com for u i go run go hide for under my bed ni o

Kbs468:
Baban Mutum, kaga juye juyen da ake mana kaman ana juya masa a kaska ko? Anata yin mana wasa da zuchuchika kaman yara nà ginin kasa fa wanda bawuyan rushewa

why una dey speak in tongue again, here don turn church?

Fraih:
Much comfort, as I can read from you again.
I second that, Fraiser and Rukky. That's the way my Twin always crack our ribs at home here, anytime he's around, trust that the house will never experience any dull moment.
Shammak, Bae sends his greetings, He confessed that he missed everyone too.

****
Amodu, Thanks Thanks! Your cake is Handsome and sweet! May God increase you this your new year.
Gosj01, yea, all will be well. infact, all is well. Even in the well

lyk play lyk play una won officialise my marriage wit rukkyola, d citizen of dis city sef can put person for wahala o, me i dey fear sent4rina my friend because d guy too sabi hire killer o, i no won die now

justified10:
I bn think say na fraiser make dat comment of being d owner of 9pm to 1am. lol.


some pple turn dis thread to novel self..u go c dem viewing for hrs and dem no go comment.. dem go just dey read,dey laff.

very soon we go dey give ticket bfor stranger enter dis city, den no suppose com dey laff free of charge o

CROBBOY:
I fit borrow some from you, or you want make I do 'giraffing' for work tomorrow?

dont worry after d screening tomoro I go give u d materials make u go do fotocopy

Sent4rina:
You answers no get part2.:p

U nd my wife ehn, i sha dey watch u wit my corner corner eyes, dnt 4get o.

i just hope say no b so u go dey watch us lyk african magic till i go put ring for her finger o

Rukkyola:
lol! my belle don burst 4 hea.i gaz 2 check ur remainin ansa so dat i go fit laff wela.c wetin haters don cause 4 us.Dey don even make our IRRELEVENT talk plenty wel wel.Daz 2 show say God dey our bak.na satan dey folo dem.nxt tym dem no go find our trouble again.

go chek am o so dat i go fit know my grade for d exam

laramite:
lolssss Fraiser so mcb get great comedian like u. So u dey hide ur talent since all dis day. Nice one lolssss Fraiser so mcb get great comedian like u. So u dey hide ur talent since all dis day. Nice one

laramite shey na my exam script u read wey u dey call comedy, abeg o I won get A for dis cause o, no go kobalise me for d front of d lecturer, na beg I dey o

CROBBOY:
Where are all those people strictly in need of NYSC matters and its ingredients, please ask all your questions now o!

Because if you don't, I am already activating my 'Romantic Mode' now that my Bae is almost falling asleep.

But come to think of it where is mschubby, spinxytinxy, MissOyin, Amodu, and others? I DEY HAIL O!

I dey hail u too o, hope u dey prepare for tomoro screenin for senate, i don dey read past question since o

Rukkyola:
thank u so much ur excellency sir.U hav been ov gr8 help.pls sir i 4got 2 add
21.can i cari generator go camp in case lyt no go dey?
22.mumcy stil tinks am so smal 2 travel alone,pls can i bring my relatives along 2 camp? Wat ov our house girl?
23.i don't enter machine so can i cari mumcy aeroplane folo go?
24.if i get bele can i stil go 2 camp.
25. As a cattle rearer can i bring my cattles com dey rear 4 camp?
Waitin 2 hea 4rm u sir

I no know say d question na season film o, ok make I continue wit d answer as I don get extra shit..
21. Yes u fit bring generator come camp bur e go be dat big mikano wey den dey use crane carry so dat e go fit carry all d appliances in ur room.
22. Naso u fit bring escort from house lyk female house girl, gateman, male house boy, grandfather, grandmother, u fit even pack all ur village chief come.
23. No o, u no fit carry plane come because seaport no dey camp, bur u fit carry train com sha because i hear say den don build airport for camp because of rich man pikin lyk u wey go com wit train.
24. Yea u fit carry belle com camp just make sure say u bring baby walker wey u go dey put d belle so dat d belle no go distract u wen u won go do drilling
25. Yes o u fit bring ur cattle com bur make sure u bring lyk five lion join wey go dey help u look after d cattle so dat thief no go thief dem

Rukkyola:
'OYO' is also ur case dis nyt.

lol... Me self don dey reason am too oo

Rukkyola:
'OYO' is also ur case dis nyt.

lol... Me self don dey reason am too oo

boboLIL:
Fraiser @ so sorry abeg... Hw went ur day?

my day don dey fine jeje, as I enter golden city come see sey u don cause kasala for ground naso headache com catch me, nd u know my health condition say my body too dey quick react to dat kyn kasala

Rukkyola:
**she was carried away by sleep while cryin bside her husband.She had not even slept for 4hrs,only 2 b awoken by d noise around d neighbourhood.This is very unsual.She is used 2 sleeping beautifully and wakin up hapily feelin d cool breeze of d city.She quickly got up,wonderin wat was wrong.She peeped 2ru d window & then realised dah indeed an intruder is n d city.Wat 4? she wonderedAfter so much enquiries,she found out it was all abou lov,lov,lov,play,play,play,romance,romance,romance,skip,skip,skip,arque,argue,argue,argue,fyt,fyt,fyt! and so on.
The government was no wea 2 b found.The trouble shooters had all disappeared.The citizens wea left alon 2 fend 4 themselves.Wat a terrible government!
She observed 4 smtym tinkin it was goin 2 b fun buh tinz got worsen.
Who kud d intruder b? She wondered.Could it b jombo jombo (double j)?
She later found out it was a female, joan jane john (triple j)
Hmm...she tuk a deep breath.Indeed dea must b some problems wit pple havin 'j' as dea initials.They don't seem 2 b d fun type.wat wil happen if a forple j enters d city? The city myt just burn down she answered hersef.The minister of information and dchiefpriest must b notified abou dis.No j shud b eva allowed into d 'Golden city' as named by her sent4rina.
She pulled up a tactic 2 calm d city down.But stil it was kul enof 2 her satisfaction.
She had no choice but 2 pack her belongings and travel out of d city.she visited d coolest place n America and thought of neva returnin 2 d Golden city.she changed her mind after rememberin her sent4rina wud really b hurt by doin dat.Now coming into d city,hopin dat d city wud b calm already.Buh dat was not d case!
The city was so ful dat she cud barely c tru d gate.she had 2 hang around by d gate.The noise n d city had bcom louder than it was wen she left.She wondered,cud dea b a forple j in d city nw.she tot of runin away.After so much enquiries,she realised dea was a gr8er problem in d city.
Now NYSC don fxck pple up.oma she o.she felt dissapointed.Buh wat kud she hav done 2 revert d situation? NOTHING! She answered hersef.
She percieved dah more visitors wud b visitin d 'GOLDEN CITY soon.
She said 2 hersef, it is beta u don't bring up love,love,love or play,play,play issue 2nyt if u don't wanto b eaten raw by the already angri citizens.**
Abeg o,NYSC don already f*ck ina up o.make ina answer my 20 questions o.Only d his excellency,LogoDWhiz don giv me beta ansa.i need more ansas 2 compare wit o.
*waitin patiently 2 hear 4rm d pple*

rukkyola i don answer your question o

Rukkyola:
Abeg seriousness mode activated.I hav so many questions i wanto ask hea.
1.Hu ar doz dat are qualified 2 serve? Can't my 2yr old cousin serve?
2.must u do ur service in nigeria?
3.When is the senate approved list likely 2 b out.
4.Wen it comes out how wil i get it? Do dey sell it in d market?
5.Wat if mumcy says i shud not serve unko? Wil it affect my future?
6.Must i recieve my allawee wen am being paid?
7.Do i necessarily need my certificate or SOR in camp?
8.Must i go 2 d place of my PPA? can't i just stay 4 my moda shop?
9.Wil dea b free ride 2 my ppa
10.Can i possibly extend my service 2 over 10yrs if i lyk?
11.Y do pple fear 2 serve n d north? Dem dey kil person 4 dea
12.If khaki no reach me 4 service wat can i wea?
13.na tru say soldiers dey purnish pple if u misbehave?
14.Can i really meet my future husband during service?
15.Wat if i meet him and my sent4rina no gri make i mari am unko?
16.Do i need 2 cari fudstuff lyk water,rice,amala,indomie fufu and ko?
17.How many clot shud i cari wen i dey go? 10 box of clothes go do?
18.Na tru say na only white person dey wea evri day like ghost? Wat if e com de dirty unko?
19.am i allowed 2 take laptop,tv,stove,pot,radio and fone go camp?
20.Do dey allow juju in camp incase person wan snatch my husband?
Thank u so much 4 ur quick response.
Cc; sent4rina,Fraiser,justified10,CROBBOY,logoDWhiz,kbs468,fraih,sc31,Joan jane john dat is if u no dey vex 4 me,spixytinxy,bobolil,johndanny,armynu,Alhassanu,DTOBS,dchiefpriest,chiefololade,kil,shaq or marry cos i no remember ur name,miss oyin, and anybdy wey wanto chuk mouth buh pls no insult me abeg

hmm hmmm clearing my throat... I for like give answer to all d questions u ask in dis exam bur d answer booklet wey dey my hand no go reach so i go answer d questions randomly.
D pple wey dey qualify to serve ar dose pple wey no dey carry dis nysc mata for head lyk wyclef because na dem no go develop hypertension bfor nysc finally decide on wen to open camp.
2. No b by force make u serve for nigeria u fit choose any of dis country for ur service: iraq, syria, somalia, sudan, gaza or afganistan
4. Wen d senate approved list come out den go sell am for oshodi or alaba market.
5. E go affect u for future because den go ask for ur nysc certificate bfor u fit register for antenatal care in d hospital.
6. E no compulsory make u receive ur allawee, u go just put my account no down, shikena.
7. U no need certificate or sor for camp, all u need to do is just to come see me make i sign autograph for ur cheek make u go show camp officials.
8. E no compulsory make u dey go ur ppa, all u need to do is to make my bedroom ur ppa.
10. If u make my bedroom ur ppa nobody go tell u bfor u extend ur service to 50yrs.
12. If khaki no reach u, u fit com borrow my grandfather agbada.
14. If u won meet ur future husband during service, just try work ur posting to sambisa forest.
15. If u work ur postin to sambisa forest, nobody go tell sent4rina bfor hin giv u divorce letter.
16. U no need carry fud stuff go camp, all u need is to work ur postin to kuje or kirikiri prison, ur three square meal per day is guarantee

Kbs468:
lol yes na normal thing everything b including your yàñ above but wetin no NORMAL AT ALL NÀ D TALK WEY WE KNOW SAY EXPERIENCE IS THE HALLMARK OF PROFESSIONALISM AND EXPERTISE THROUGH LEARNING FROM ONE MISTAKE AND CORRECTING IT IN ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY but why NYSC go make mistakes repeatedly and continuously unabated despite their huge years of experience of operation

but their is one thing I have known from the outset, the 2nd of march earlier slated for the commencement of orientation excercise was an illusion, it's not in anyway feasible unless we just want to deceive ourselves considering the fact that registration will end on 28th of february

Fraih:
Twinnie, everybody dey vexing mode, no make the fight start again o. I trust you though

you mean vexing because of d TT? E no even bother me a bit, I aways blive God's time is d best

jubrealguy:
E b like say the fight don finish ooo, no go start wetin don finish ooo

i no here wen den dey fight d fight o, i won make d tin start again now, hw den go dey fyt wen i no dey around

Abeg oo I get special announcement o, make una no vex say i go use pidgin english for dis annoucement because english no too sweet for my mouth lyk dat, dis nysc of a tin no reach wetin som pple go kill demsefs ontop o, na norma tin make we register wen portal open, na normal tin make dem post us either to d north, east, west or south dependin on each person fate, na normal tin make we go camp, na normal tin make den post us to our respective ppa after camping, na normal tin make we do pop after d whole service yr... oh sorry i don forget cds sef, dat one too na still normal tin for service... So wetin remain? E don finish nw, why una come dey press pee on d mata wey una won turn am to problem una go dey carry from one crusade to anoda, abeg make una repent from dis una criticism o because e no go stop me from aspiring to be a minister for dis city, e no go stop me from tellin my bae i much i love her, e no go stop me from taking care of my twin sis fraih, e no go stop me from givin marraige counsellin to rukkyola, spinxytinxy nd SC31, e no go stop me from givin advice to kbs468, amodu, crobboy, sent4rina nd justified10 on how to put dia marraige nd politics on a balance, e no go stop me from being a close political associate of LogoDwhiz, e no go stop me from recognising greatestman, kuchikau, igravweIG nd amodu as distingushed senator of dis golden city... Hmmm e no go stop me from taking una time to read dis rubbish wey i just type...lol... Una no laff, so e no funny abi.. Ok ooo