₦airaland Forum

[quote author=tpia@]nothing necessarily comes to my own mind, but i notice the pc position seems to be the other stuff you stated there.

as in, that's what would be considered the normal and expected reaction from the average person.[/quote]. Reason I mentioned lack of self esteem...You wouldn't put too much into it because all you see is a good truck but a woman raised with no self esteem would think that a man is behind the other woman's sucess.I have always wondered why a woman would knowingly date a married man for instance especially when he's financially well off? Why not say no and believe that her own man will come too

I believe a lot of it has to do with growing up with no self esteem so they mature to adults with no confidence in themselves and therefore end up too busy competing against each other or finding faults with each other.Some men bash and compete with each other too.Ever seen two men fight over a lady or a postion at work it happens there too just on a different wavelength. Let's take this example you are walking down the street and you see another woman walking towards her Range Rover what comes to your mind? (a) She must be married to some tycoon who bought her the car or will you choose (b) that she is a sucessful woman who bought the car for herself??. This judgments between ladies are there it's how you use them to influence your life that matters. Some women are so tired of being hated on they have grown thick skin which might be interpreted as been arrogant by others

Ruth just know you're half way there with time your finances will improve there is nothing as bad as having all the money in the world and being in a horrible or lonely marriage with no peace of mind.I'm sure you have heard of couples with so much wealth but they live like strangers under one roof.Your husband loves you and adores you,You have been blessed with 2 kids there is a season for everything and soon enough you will be back here to tell us things have improved financially. God put that desire in your heart to want to live comfortably and with time that too shall come to pass.You have received a lot of advice from the Nairaland Family it's a good thing you have been sensible with your finances and are not swimming in debt hopefully you will soon get a second income that will be beneficial. You mentioned your husband does a good job with cutting your son's hair you could encourage hubby to make inquiries on where he can hire a seat and be a barber over the weekends. Have you ever considered moving out of London to say the West or East Midlands or up North e.g Manchester or Leeds? The rent and transportation would not be too high in those towns and there is a large african community too
.Another thing to mention you're both taxpayers have you applied for Child benefits or working tax credits it's not much but it is something. Don't give up and remember to thank God for taking you to bigger and better things in the very near future.God Bless You (I'm sorry about any errors typing from my phone)

Yay they won!!! I knew they would...Big ups to my two former workmates who were die hard chelsea Fans I know you guys are celebrating hard wherever you are !!

Oh my Goodness your mom needs Spiritual Redemption quick!! I believe she has been raining curses to your distant cousin that he doesn't know if he's coming or going hence the nonchalant way of not wanting to move out and fend for himself out there.Poverty or not what could be keeping him at your mom's if not fear and a feeling of broken self-worth ? Like many have mentioned your priority should be getting the man the help he needs to get out before you patch things up with your mom.God is your witness and he knows you're trying.Her evil ways shall not be your portion now or in the future IJN.

[quote author=Okija_juju]Driving!!

Its a skill. One in which most women dont seem to be gifted in. Above and beyond moving a car, a driver has to be sharp, alert, decisive and confident in their ability behind the wheel.

The first problem with most female drivers is that they are afraid. Its almost as if they feel that when once they let go of the steering wheels for a second, the car would go out of control so they grip the steering like they are holding on for dear life. what this causes is that they lose fluidity in their manuevers. Example, a man who wants to make a U-Turn on a busy road would simply watch, wait for his chance and would with one hand turn the steering like a racecar driver and within 15secs, he is done. But a woman would come wait for her chance and start making this turn with two hands on the steering doing the hand-over-hand manuever, looking down at her gearstick every two seconds, her chest to the steering wheel, her neck stretched, her eyes trying to see her bumper in front of the car. all this could take up to two minutes in an extremely tight situation. In a womans bid to be careful, she ends up becoming a nuisance on the road. This is especially worse when it is in rush hour and everyone is in a hurry.
All bad drivers are not women, but most women are bad drivers! [/quote]I gotta agree with you on this but there are also men who don't give a second thought,they just make rush decisions and think later

chineloSA: I have obseved that Nigerian drivers are the worst. Hate me if you want to, no wahala

Male or Female.

They do not know the signs let alone observe and adhere to the rules.

They do not know the rules so they do anyhow.

The problem is not about being able to propel the car its about observing the signs on the road and respecting the rules of the road.

As alot of you have mentioned that you taught alot of your female folks, you forget to focus on the road signs, rules etc. when you teaching. Home driving school is not good @ all

that would explain why many countries in Europe and North America require people to do a "behind the wheel test" when they want to drive.Driving back home and driving in the west is different.Imagine people jumping a red light as if it's not a big deal because they are in a hurry or they are worried about their safety if they stop at a red light at night

Generally women drive with more caution Some men believe they are good drivers back home until they come and do the road test in places like Europe and fail the "behind the wheel test" and nobody tell me it has to do with the different road signs!!
I also know many men who can't drive stick and believe they are good drivers how can you be a good driver when you don't have full control of your car?

Kukere - Iyanya

Isn't there another dentist in that town?

I can see Mr..Cork is back
Thought you had gone for good what happened?

We are our own problem,the sooner we realize that the better for us.
I will go for lack of cooperation and also add organisation to it

Nnenna1: ^^^I get what you are saying but if the welfare system and racial discrimination in terms of employment among Black Britons is high then why isn't the Black community engaged in employment creation in and of itself (i.e. Entrepreneurship, mini carribbean or Nigerian towns that are self-sustaining, etc)?

Sometimes I feel like we are too much of victims of circumstance.

There are there at least the ones I knew were founded by carribean people (I can only speak for the North West of England) and later they slowly started employing African people as counselors.
Some are partly financed by the govt and others were non profit what I found weird was these organizations never lasted long and they always closed down,when I asked some people about it they mentioned if the govt failed to see good enough results they stopped financing them.

shymmex: shymmex: Why are people still comparing two foreign countries they have no stake in?? Go fix Nigeria, and stop comparing!!

NHS this, NHS that - can you compare the taxes the citizens of the two countries pay monthly?

Let's stick to the topic!

Mr Shymmex the topic has already been battered in the first few pages,it's done and dusted,
The poster asked,compared,generalized and asked again but still stood by what he believes,what more is there to add?
A short visit to london,a quick look in the international news and he has misinterpreted a few things here and there

Gbawe: Loaded post. You sum up the OP's confused agenda succinctly and also establish what most well-travelled folks know to be the undeniable truth. Some black basketball players swanking around with $100 million dollar contracts , in the USA, is not proof of anything when we consider that a Nation should be deemed comparatively more successful than others in respect to how it meets the needs of the majority. Can it be said that the USA meets the needs of its average black population better than the UK does? Not at all. Events such as the flooding of New orlean shows how extremely disenfranchised some black folks are even if OP , clearly fond of generalising, want to play Ostrich to suit an obviously shallow agenda.

Don't get me started with the health Insurance stuff in the US
paying through your teeth just to see a doctor if you don't have the "right Insurance"
while some white folk in the UK are whinging about the NHS,they need to see how it feels paying for your hospital bills from your pocket across the pond,some don't know how good they've got it compared to their continental cousins in the good old U S of A

Nebeuwa: Nice! I support this 100%.

Where I live, I support black owned businesses as well. We need to learn how to keep wealth within our community. Why is it that Koreans in the U.S. own every hair products stores in urban areas? It is stuff like that, which boggles my mind.

It wasn't always like that,
I can remember in the early nineties when 125th in Harlem had black owned beauty supply stores, fast forward 10 years later I'm walking store after store and I'm tired of seeing Mr Wong's face and that of his brother in every store i walked into.The only black owned store as of 7 years ago was owned by a guy from Senegal who had customers walk in and fly out!!

Unfortunately his store didn't have the latest stuff people feel they wanted or needed I wonder if he is still in business.Mr Wong from Korea can afford to purchase all the stuff because he comes from a country where they always give back to their own community,so if biz is slow he only needs to bring it up to and his uncle's cousin's nephew will be willing to help him boost his business.

Same way it's disturbing that black folk have a very high number of ordering Chinese what happened to good old soul food be it Naija or any other African cuisine? It's just easier ordering those dumplings and fried rice from Feng's restaurant

@ Nebeuwa,
You asked some questions and received some answers but your responses have turned to be contradictory.

Visiting a place and living in a place are two different things,you say you visited London,did you travel anywhere else? there is more to England than just London,and you may be surprised to hear this but not all successful Nigerians live in London.Many might work in the city but commute to other towns you know like some people work in New York but commute to Jersey or CT

Having lived in both sides of the Atlantic I have seen first hand that race plays the biggest role in both countries but that hasn't stopped hard working and determined Africans from getting to where they want to be in both continents

bennyraz: As a man, we know where the original is and we know it would last. So we just test drive the fake to proof that it's fake cuz they get spoilt faster

Ehn..... a dog eat dog world
That's just a pity
Anyway in life you get what you give

As soon as you realize that the woman has all this fake things about her that you don't appreciate why don't you just walk on by and not bother approaching her in the first place.

If you're already in a relationship with a woman who's wearing all this "fake stuff" do you even bring it to her attention? You might be complaining about the fakeness but you're still there with her

If the whole concept doesn't appeal to you it might appeal to someone else everybody is entitled to their own preference

tpacalipse: Don't you people know the difference between a jeep and an SUV. When did Porshe become a Jeep or has Jeep bought the Porshe? The last time I checked, Jeep was still a registered trade mark of a company! How come is Porshe Cayenne now a Jeep? Nigerians! everthing a little tall is a JEEP. shew!

lol it's just the lingo, every time someone says Jeep I just ask which type of Jeep
It's the same way all noodles are called Indomie and every hard spice in a cube is called maggie,and all detergents used to be called Omo.it's all confusing but funny sometimes

Best actor in leading role: can't decide between Femi Adebayo and Yomi Fash Lanso
Most promising actor:Gabriel Afolayan....this guy is going places,he's really good
Best Actress:Tough one as well can't make up my mind between Fathia Balogun & Bimbo Akintola

luckgames: Advisable to stay away from the sick lady

What would you prefer? that she/he visits again unannounced and get treated like dirt? I recognize warnings when i see them,if i don't feel welcomed when I visit my own brother's house by somebody who I once considered my best friend,OP mentioned the SIL went as far as hiding stuff and closing the kitchen door.For the sake of seeing my brother I will call in advance to avoid future embarrassment.

If this is your definition of sick then, ah well. . . .as far as I'm concerned my dignity is still intact,telling my brother about it will only cause more problems between them

At least you are now aware of how she rolls so it would be advisable to call her before visiting,it's kinda odd considering you used to be close but that's what she wants.
Generally it's rare to find a situation where women who used to be best of friends as single women and are still very close as sisters in law.Not sure what happens there but something changes.

Angels Cry - Mariah Carey

Bravo - Ledisi

I get a good feeling - Flo Rida

Obianuju - Duncan.M

Energy - Keri Hilson