Ndubuisipaul1: Am in love with this lady. She loves me too. But she always ask me for money.
If I had enough I will make sure I meet most of her need, due to how much I love her.
But the issue is that I don't have enough. So am withdrawing myself from her. anytime she discover that am withdrawing from her she will complain .
I love her and it's hurt so much that I can't provide her with her basic needs.
Am just asking God, Why can't you give me money to take care of this girl?
She loves me I love her too but money no dey
The first thing to look out for in any relationship is love and both of you loves each other
The second thing to have in marriage is money which is thr strongest force of all things and you don't have the kind of money that will satisfy her demands
So you have to understand that, the love you have for her needs money to keep thr relationships else you may not enjoy the relationship due to lack of money
So what should be your concern now is, how not to trade your happiness and peace of mind by walking on a broken bottles
Look for what you can afford to keep and not what you can not afford to keep
GistMedia0: In a shocking viral video, a heated confrontation between a lady and a Nigerian police officer turned physical, leaving many stunned as the woman overpowered the officer and beat him to the ground.
The cause of the intense brawl remains unclear, as the footage, captured by another motorist, offers no insight into what triggered the altercation. However, what caught the attention of netizens was the sight of the woman boldly engaging the officer in a fistfight, eventually leaving him sprawled on the ground.
Social media has been buzzing with reactions, as some users question the officer's conduct while others applaud the lady's boldness.
Botreat: My woman is cheating, but i want to mess with her brains before I trash her.
Found out about it from her WhatsApp chats. she's been with me for over 15months barely contributing anything in the house. I met her at a low point in her life and she has told me on several occasions how she was suicidal before we met.
I had never been a fan of checking my partner's phone, but something lead me into checking her chats and for a moment i doubted if it was my girl's chats I was reading. How she's gone on dates with multiple men, how they've been having sex with one of her cell members from church, how she's had girls sending her pictures of their nudes, how she has sent her nudes to men on several occasions.
She's had infections i had to spend so much treating thinking she got it from the toilet because she always complains she doesn't like seating on the toilet seat.
I was really shaken by these discoveries, but I feel better now after discussing it with my guy. Now it's game time and I would so mess with her brain that she would be scared of cheating in future.
The only reason I haven't sent her packing is because I fell into some kind of financial troubles and she had to lend me some funds to support my business and I currently cant pay back everything. I know she's scared of losing this relationship because that would mean she becomes homeless and would have to start fending for herself completely, also from her chats with the guy she is currently having sex with, I can tell he doesn't care about her. He's here just for the sex and isn't ready for any commitment.
Yesterday I told her I've been having this recurring dream about our relationship, but cant recall the details. This morning I just sent her a message about a dream vaguely describing the guy she's having an affair with. Telling her about how a shadow came and was puling her away from me. she took it with so much shock and immediately she got stomach upset and started throwing up. After cleaning up she came back telling me dreams are just figments of imagination bla bla bla, that she's not going anywhere, telling me how I have impacted her life since we met.
Next time I am going to tell her the shadow came with a face, but I cant recall where I know the face, but I am very sure if I see the face anywhere I would remember it.
When I am done messing with her, I'll call my guy to come around and we disgrace her and send her out of the house. I want her scared of cheating in her future relationships.
You are to be blamed for keeping her with you, without any thing useful coming out of the relationship
Your last paragraph is not necessary, by disgracing her and with such, she could harm herself or harm you
I think you will have to let her know that you are no longer interested in the relationship because of the reason you mentioned here and you want to end the relationship
Show her prove so that will see enough evidence and with that you are good to move on
Change the key to your house or wherever need to be locked
But bear in mind that, whichever ways you want to go about it
Wainey: Please if you can't give mature response, don't fill up the front page with drivels.
So I am in a relationship with this lady, but the problem is that she already has three children with her ex, not just one or two but three. Two of the children lives with their father while she lives with one.
Despite this, she is an industrious lady who works for her own wellbeing, though I spent money on her once a while but it's not even half of what she spends on me, that is mostly because she has a better financial muscle than I do. She is caring, loving and loyal, she doesn't even have friends and has always been all about her career, when I asked why she didn't end up with her ex, she said it was cos of tribalism, I didn't ask further though.
Now, Getting married to a single parent is not something I wanted but I have dated a lot of rubbish in this country, but this lady was nothing like them and letting her go is not something I want right now.
So my question to those that are married to single parent, what difficulties did u face in ur marriage?
Editor: Pix used for illustration
For a man, the most important thing is what will make him happy and who gives him happiness
Whether she lives with one of her children, the rest will definitely move in with her once she is married
So both of you need to understand the fact that you are going to accommodate those children because it's her bagages
I am glad she can fend for herself, that means you can both be supporting each other
So if your happiness is with her then go with who you want your happiness to be with
Being a single mother is not a curse, it's circumstances that leads to it
The matured single mother's are more organised and supportive
oritameta: Last year, just after we got married, my husband lost his job. It was a difficult time for us financially. He isn't the social media type. I was the one that encouraged him to open twitter, TikTok and Youtube because of their monetizable options.
He got more frequent using Twitter. Says he prefers how he doesn't need to show his face. He's quite good with words and not long after, started getting views and followers. After he got paid for the first time, he went ballistic. He was still looking for a job but it was around the time I gave birth to our first child. Honestly, him being around has been helpful.
Three months ago, I noticed he started retweeting Onlyfans girls in the reply section of his tweets. Mainly any of his tweets that get from 100K views. We had a serious fight when I told him to stop. He says he can't because they pay him to retweet their content on his viral tweets.
He has always been transparent with me with what he earns online. Last November, he earned over 2K dollars. The money is good but I don't feel comfortable knowing he is retweeting onlyfans girls. We a serious fight in early December and I had to call our Pastor to address the issue. He is a member of the choir. He stopped in December. he even changed the style of his content but they didn't get views like the contents he was posting before. He called me two days ago and told me he was going back to posting his regular stuff. I called the Pastor and he told the Pastor that the Assistant Pastor was a top official in one of the brewing companies but He still preached often. He mentioned another Deacon that owns a restaurant that doubles as a Night club.
Yes he makes good money from the platform he uses to get ads from these onlyfan girls but I asked him if it was okay if I was posting pictures of naked men on my social media. He said it's not his personal page. According to him, the only reason he liked Twitter from the jump was because he didn't have to show his face. He even encouraged me to open a new twitter account and start posting. so that we can both make money posting these adverts.
I have decided to leave him. I cannot be with a man that his comfortable posting such stuff. I have told him when he decides to stop, he knows where to find me.
Well just make sure you are taking the right decision
I didn't read where you caught him or where you saw that he sleeps with those women or ladies
Why not calm down and understand if he is open and faithful to you
You may leave the marriage and he will get worst and still get a woman that will support what you don't like that he is doing
deluckiest: For the past 6 years, my wife has been monitoring all my phone lines—MTN, Glo, and Airtel. She screenshots my chats, records my calls, and even gathers proof with pictures. Changing my phone numbers doesn’t help because she says as long as I use my NIN to register a SIM, she can still track everything I do, whether openly or secretly, unless she chooses not to.
I want to put an end to this, but I don’t want to get her into trouble with the law.
Has anyone gone through something like this? How did you handle it? Please share your advice.
If you have anything secret, switch to Nokia touch light phone and use your android for free conversation
With Nokia touch lights, there are no pictures or anything to screen shot
Rockzy1: I'm thinking of relocating to another state within Nigera and start a new life with 1million naira?
The major reason for relocating is that something happened to me and i want to move on from the pains, depression etc. I've tried to move on but it's not working.
Your pains are hit enough reason for relocating
Let's assume it worths it, where do you intend to start from
Do you have a job, How do you feed Are you relocating to come back or you are relocating to establish yourself there
Well I think you just need a break from whatever that spoilt your mind and probably need to go on a vacation or visit a resort where you can have enough rest and meditate with your God on how to start a new life
Ringstonermasks: I plan on travelling soon for a master degree but it going to be impossible to bring my wife along as she is in active service in the Military.
I have not shared dix plan with her, just contemplating on the idea, although am sure she would advise me not to...h
What do u think?
Well if you know that she is your wife and all the necessary marriage things are done on her
Why are you worried of leaving her behind
Anyway try and get her pregnant then conclude your travelling plans
I posted the above topic before when I married the ugly village girl my mom insisted I must marry.
We've been together for 2 years now, no child. The problem is that she's always giving me one infection or the other. I've treated infection for more than 3 times and this is someone I married a virgin.
The other day, I was peeing blood and it was so painful coming out. I've never cheated on her and I'm sure she's not cheating but I don't know how she gets these infections.
Right now, I'm on a sick bed battling infection and other ailment....on a new year day. My stomach has been biting me for 3 days now.
I'm tired. I'm thinking of sending her back to the village before she kills me.
I've told my mom that I'm no longer interested but she keeps on begging and telling me that things will get better. Things are getting worse day by day. She's so dull. She just sits at home. No ambition....nothing! Just cooks, washes, cleans, then stays home all day watching movies. A graduate with masters.
I'm so frustrated!
Is possible you are not interested in her, even if she didn't give you infection, she is not your spec
Just return her to her family so that you don't delay her further
Seat your mum down and let her know what you are passing through and the emotional effect on you
ceejay80s: hello guys a friend came from port Harcourt to see me on 24th morning he was with me till 25th , we were at night gisting and I ask about his wife..... to cut the long story short,
the father in-law is still alive but the wife, sister and her sisters husband called him that they will be coming to his place to return the bride price, I asked him , who did u give the bride price to? he said the father, I told him to ignore them until the father in-law calls u or ur father before u go and collect it.
Nairalanders I hope I am right?
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO U ALL
It depends on the situation on ground, if the wife is fed up with marriage same with the husband and they have called him to come collect his bride price
He should go and collect it from whomever is giving him, so far the person is a member of the family and the ex wife is there to confirm she is done with the marriage
For that person to call him, they have all agreed to return it to him with the approval of his ex wife
The father may have nothing to say as the final decision is on the wife that she us no longer interested
Odafe360: I posted a previous topic about my divorce with my wife and i got alot of advice on this platform which really encouraged & have me strength.
I'm really grateful for the nairaland community. The only issue i'm still battling with right now is how to move on, i'm trying everyday to forget the past, but the more i try, the more it's becoming fresh in my heart and the pains too. I won't lie to you it's difficult. Sincerely sometimes i cry and the thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.
A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would contact me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.
Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?
At this point, you have to come out of your introvert life style
You may end up feeling depressed if you don't do what is good for you
If you feel you have ended the relationship with her, start another one soon to fill in the gap and prevent you from falling into depression and loneliness
If you you still want her back, go as usual and do the needful
But it's best you decide what you want and take a new step
Start mixing up with people and adjust yourself quickly
Gagare1: Thanks for your deep input, I will take correction. Even though I believe my earlier decision wasn't based on pride (na villager I be, and besides, all men are equal). I just felt mine should be unique. Thanks again. We learn everyday.
I sincerely appreciate the fact that you read the lines and understands it very well and willing to adjust
Meanwhile some traditional men wants things to be done properly, but these women of nowadays are in another cycle of life and sees things so casual instead of the original traditional ways
Tallesty1: Why is it that you people always come up with irritating takes when the person in the wrong is your gender?
How can we improve as a society if we keep blindly supporting our gender, even when they're clearly at fault?
You're buying an anniversary gift for your husband, and you decide to get the exact same material and color for your brothers?
As what exactly? If it were just a random gift, fine, we could argue it’s because they’re family. But an anniversary gift? Come on.
Personally, if I were the husband, that gift would go straight into the back of my closet, never to be worn. What kind of nonsense is that?
How would you react if your husband gives you an anniversary gift only for you to find out later that he bought the same thing for his mother and sisters?
Let’s stop making excuses for bad behavior and call things what they are.
Don't be surprise that, the same materials in question, another family may have bought it for burial ceremony and may be shared to all members of that family even up to the young children
you are one of the men with pride and na you go tire
In all my statement, I never supported the act of his wife, rather I was trying to calm him down and make him to understand things
Assuming it's a customised cloth with the man picture, that will be excellent, but for a mere Ankara cloth, haba
You didn't read or respond to where he said the wife has been very supportive. So what again do you want
Onegai: Frozen70 and Fiscus105 have given such beautiful answers, I wish I could bookmark them.
I get that it stings because this was supposed to be a gift for YOU.
But maybe she (unconsciously) sees her brothers as your brothers (I used to do that to my in-laws, even cousin-in-laws became my cousins). So she shopped for one family. Which is a sweet thought from her.
Tell her gently, like you've done before. Thank her for her gift, tell her one day you'll sew it. Ask her to let any anger and hurt pride go, as you will. End with "I love you".
And please ignore every other person on this thread save for the 2 I mentioned. Why? Because I know someone and his wife who had a very similar situation as this, in August 2022 and it escalated and now they are waiting for August 2025 to file in court (the man was the one who escalated everything due to pride, ego and resentment and people gingering him with "I won't take that rubbish if na me!". He didn't care that his wife was pregnant and he had kids, that both sides of the family tried to stop him, he destroyed his marriage in a wild frenzy).
All the devil needs is a small chink, a little crack to slip in and bam.
I take God beg you, let this go. Smooth things over with Madam. In 5 years' time, you'll laugh about it, with her.
Blessings to you.
Fantastic 👌, you made a valid point, not because you picked my advice
But because you went straight to the point and truth
[quote author=lavylilly post=133482825][/quote]One thing I learnt in marriage and I practice it too. I don't wait for my husband to create the comfort I want in my marriage and family
Am the one that wants it so I will create it either by funding or by implementing
Today is our six years wedding anniversary and my wife (a very good wife) decided to surprise me with a gift. She bought a material for me to sew native attire. Of course, she said I would have to settle the tailor charges when I get it made. No qualms. I was so excited and thankful. Then it came, she told me that she also bought exactly the same materials for her two elder brothers. My wife knows that I don't do anko (asoebi). Now I feel belittled and the gift looks more like a slap. I strongly feel that mine should not be the same with anyone else 's. That difference is key to me (even if mine is cheaper and of lower quality). I am her husband and the father of her child, not just any man. She has been my sole responsibility for the past six years and her first ever anniversary gift should not equate me to her brothers in the village.
I gently told her to at least change the color of mine, but she has been moody since, claiming that she bought it since November and kept it with the seller, she only collected it yesterday. God knows that I don't intend to use that material. I might just give it to her younger brother next time he visits.
For the matured men (my elders in marriage), please am I on the wrong here? I am open to honest responses.
I just feel that mine should be different, the price doesn't matter. The value for me is rooted in mine being different. I do things for my sister too, but never on the same level with my wife. Her's is always different to reflect her unique place in my life.
Sorry, not so brief after all.
We have to be appreciative of a gift given by loved one, Irrespective of how we feel about it
Now to your own issue, I know that you appreciate the gift but having the feeling that it shouldn't be the same colours with her brothers, doesn't add up
You have a special place in her heart and so does her brothers too
So kindly erase that thought and sew your own cloth and wear it for her to see that it's beautiful on you and fits you
If you and your brother in law are going on same occasion with you, call them and you guys can wear same uniform, it's shows love and understanding
You can even take pictures together for memorial sake
Once we can remove pride from our life, everything will be equal for us and we move on well without feeling that you class and level is bigger than another
ChizzyBuna: So my parents are in village for christmas. Coming from lagos to visit for xmas I decided to visit our house in town where our family lives. Before going to meet them in village
What i found in my fathers room shocked me
Condom packets that were not prpperly thrown away.
Ky gel found open on the table For those that don't know Ky gel is lubricant for sex.
This is enough proof this man is cheating. Should i repirt him to my mum??
Your mother knows that your dad cheats, so reporting him to your mum will add to the family problem
Dont worry your mum will get hold of him one day and that is the day you will prove to him that he is a cheat
But bringing a woman to the house was just an insult to the family
techgurl12: I am seeking advice from anyone that know about immigration matters here.
M marriage is at the stage of divorce. Three years ago, I wanted to travel with my husband and kids to the US, but it didn't work out due to financial reasons. Meanwhile, I already started the process and got passports for all of us. Now that we are about to part ways, my husband is requesting to have the kids international passports. I wanted to give him at first, but when I saw the way he was threatening to deal with me if I don't give him the passports before the divorce, I became scared of making another mistake I might regret later.
What do you guys think? Please fam, skip the insults and advise a confused woman.
If your husband is requesting for thr children passports alone, then it means he is about filling for them and you are not part of thr processing
It seems you and your husband are having issues and for thr fact that he is in USA, it will be difficult for you to get there as a family without his enforcement
If you are thr one causing problems, it's time to drop it off and start making moves fir a good relationship
Because over there in USA, he has a big chances of starting another family due to your misunderstanding with him and he doesn't mind to wait till the children gets to 18yrs and above then he will convince them to visit him as adult
Then if thr problem of thr marriage is from your husband, honestly you just have to keep tolerating it till you are able to get to USA then you can do whatever you want, either to obey him and stay peaceful with him or disobey him and pull out of thr marriage
But the fact remains that you guys have to make peace
KingintheNorth: What's your Advice and opinion about this. This is actually true life scenario and I'm posting for someone anonymously.
A guy and a lady planned to travel to the UK on a student visa together they contributed and paid the deposit. The plan and agreement was that the guy will study then the lady will work to help with the tuition fee payment of £18k 50-50. then after school everyone will go their way.
Before they traveled, the lady was subtly catching feelings for the guy but the guy was having none of it because it's just contract for him.
When they got to the UK last year, they both moved to different cities , the guy started school and she got a job and started working.
When it was time to pay the balance of the tuition, the lady refused to contribute to the payment. Claiming she doesn't have money and if she must pay it, she will have to move in with him and start acting like his wife.
The guy refused and reminded her about the agreement. She insisted on her own ideas. When she saw that the guy was not bulging she blocked him on all social media so he was not able to reach her for sometime.
When the pressure from school became too much , the guy started hustling day and night breaking his back and still covering his lectures and assignments.
The guy was tempted to remove her from his visa because he's the main visa holder and she's the dependant but he didn't , hoping that she will still fulfill her own part of the agreement.
She remained incommunicado untill the guy managed to pay off all the tuition, passed all his courses and finished school.
Few months after he finished school , she reached out and was acting all friendly. Apparently the company she was hoping to get a sponsorship from disappointed her so she was trying to buy her way into jumping on the 2 years post graduate visa the guy was about to apply for.
Remember, out of the £18k tuition , she only contributed £2k for the deposit and refused all further payments. Now she wants to give the guy £2k to take him on his post graduate visa.
The guy refused and removed her from his visa because of her wickedness and untrustworthiness. Her visa expired and as she was not able to see a sponsor,she was asked to leave the country .now she's in Nigeria swearing for the guy. Threatening to report him to her village juju etc.
Do you think he did the right thing??
She faulted an agreement, so let her go and report, the juju will attack her not the guy
Juju also know how to judge issues with out talking
Vikto17: My dear Nairalanders ,, a girl l want to marry next year is consistently been stalk by her ex...
The guy called her last three months and l warn her sternly about her having anything to do with her ex... she should either choose the guy or me... in which she called the guy in my present and warn him to stay off ... she block his number too... Just yesterday, she told me that the guy called her again with a different number.....
l told her that the last thing l will take is cheating and she should know how to handle this guy since she claim to choose me....
Honestly,, l am thinking of ending the relationship,, don't want to drag this issue into my marriage..... please anyone with experience ..how do u handle this...
I don't know if it's proper to blame her for saying the truth that he calls her
Animegirl: I have a burning passion to become a wealthy and successful woman, but I'm worried that getting married and having children might force me to put my dreams on hold. I'm concerned that I won't be able to balance family life with my personal ambitions. Furthermore, the societal pressures in Nigeria, combined with the constraints of time and age, are making me feel like I'm already at a disadvantage. My desire for success is strong, but I'm fearful that having a family might mean sacrificing my dreams.
I'm really scared.
You have to be married and make family by having the number of kids you desire, then your dream will be well accomplished
But if you still insist on the way you want it, relocate abroad marry a white man and live with him alone
parkervero: I want to ask if there is any married men in here who have formed their own families without involving their family members (mother, father, and siblings).
Is there any consequences for not involving family members?
I don't want to involve any of my family members in any of my affairs including the time of difficulty, sickness, even to the point of my death.
I want to stay on my own till eternity
This is mission impossible, what happens incase it happens,
Who will your children run to or call uncle and aunts
Even the richest man in Nigeria still align with his root
Dont come out and create problems for your wife and children
A tree can never make a forest
I think the best thing to do is to keep your family affairs away from them but still relate with them
Because if you try what you are planning and if anything happens, your wife will reroot your children to her family and if possible including you
My opinion though, as you have the right to do whatever you like, na you go feel am pass
Romance › Re: The Girl I Want To Marry Demands Money A Lot by frozen70(f): 6:28am On Jan 12, 2025
