₦airaland Forum

DEAR JOSE;

I would like to thank you for helping chelsea win
the title last year. It had been a while. You are
one of the best football managers in the world
and you have an impressive cv to prove this. I
wont say I was happy when you left chelsea the
first time because I was one of those who believed
wrongly that managerial stability was key to club
success, Sir Alex and Mr Wenger had been
dominating the league prior to your arrival and you
broke that monotony with cutting edge ideas and
brilliant man and game management.

I will forever as a fan be happy that you came because at that time you were what was needed.
But these days one would be forgiven for thinking
that all your prior success has gotten into your
head and you have lost your way. There seems to
be a dark cloud hanging over you and the only way
to emerge from under it is to pack your bags and
leave while you can retain some dignity and class
which is something I think you have always been
short on. Somewhere along the line in your career, you stopped thinking of yourself as a great manager and decided that you would make a better god as well. Well, Karma is a baitch and now the whole world sees you for the fraud you have become.


When you were re-appointed as chelsea manager, I
was not happy despite all the cheers and jubilee
from the fans. My reasons were very simple. As
a human being you thrive too much on controversy and I feel like chelsea had come too far, winning the elusive CL trophy, the europa cup and a few other minor trophies in your abscense trying to rebuild our image as a club and I felt as though re-hiring you may bring trophies but they would come at the expense of our already dodgy club reputation and sustainable footballing. I was proved correct when you promptly ;


1-sold our best player for 2 seasons to a league rival.

2-brought in 'etoo' as a striker and loaned/sold
'lukaku' who was younger, more eager and
only needed guidance to become a long term
option upfront.

3-sold 'david luis' who was a fans favourite and did
not bother to replace him.

4-blamed players for losses but claimed praise for
successes.

5-demoted your medical staff for no reason.

6-sold good players and bought terrible
replacements.

7-falcao?

Only the deluded would think you can arrest this
poor form. Chelsea stand to drop at least 7 more
points before january when you may or may not
be able to bring in new players which may or may
not help. All these reasons and more are why I think you have finally come to a reckoning with fate. Please resign and let someone esle try. Maybe Roman will call you back after a few years again.

Paul From Nigeria......football365.com


SUPERB!

I can see why you chaps enjoy trolling her! She actually thinks my "judaism remark"actually refers to "jewish people from isreal"! Talk about lost in translation..... Lol!

freecocoa:
Yea right, like alum is the only way to go, I don't even believe the vagina slacks to the point that it becomes 'no longer sweet' especially from too much sêx like I already said.

I don't even understand this texture talk, how does sêx affect the texture of one's vagina? I seriously want to know, does an originally smooth sirfaced vagina become rough or what excatly?

Okay, let's agree that many steady partners don't use condoms but how does sperm affect anything is what I asked?

I don't have a peenis alright but you don't know that I don't have a girl in my bed as I type.

Why should I be with a jew man? I'm not anywhere near being a jew girl.

You must be a youngin? So just remember these wise words from your lord on the "real vagina monologues";


1: Vaginas come in different sizes naturally. Hence some will seem tight and some loose! So stop concerning yourself with the "too many _cocks spoil the broth theory", although childbirth also plays a minor role in this regard so get ready for a suprise after your baby lands!

2: Guys play an important factor in a woman's
arousal level and also in how tight a woman's vagina will be during sex hence the need for extended _foreplay, so always open your gob and tell your _coitus partner what sort of _foreplay you like so that you can plateau easily!

3: There are exercises that can be done to help
women not only get "tighter vaginas" but also have "better orgasms". They are called "kegel excercises"! Encourage your man(if you have 1) to also do these "unisex excercises!"


As for your 'judaism?' Well, that's for another thread!

Maybe van gaal needs to allow this guy start taking the team talks before games;

"We're disappointed of course, "YOU need to finish". If you want to win, "YOU need to finish". In the first half, they got some chances with set-pieces. We were dangerous as well in the first few minutes of the game. In the 2nd half, I think we deserved the 3 points. We created the chances but I keep repeating myself, "YOU NEED TO FINISH"!

“The fans are disappointed and we are as well
with the result so we have to move on. Of course this was an opportunity to be at the top of the table, that's why we're all disappointed with that draw."

" If i can say something about the team spirit it is that everybody works really hard and everybody is working for each other. We don’t give away chances, and we are well organised defensively. We need a little bit of luck maybe with our chances. We have to recover, get our minds clear and go on to the next game. It's a very important one.”


Daley Blind on MUTV!


Later on gaal will be chatting shite about leftbacks!!!

milychocs:
Covered up in white sacks/body bags
Anatomy lab comes to mind
I am glad I am not the only "MORBID" one here!

I am sorry, I am not a boy/man/guy

So maybe its time you changed your moniker to "morbidchocs"? It has a nicer ring to it!

This clown above the lord believed his own hype so much he had to name his sorry ass "jigsawkillah"/

Well the "jig" is up, I "saw" your vagina thru your pants, so now "killah" gets to be renamed "domitilla"/

FRIENDLY FIRE?

"I don't think that we will be able to win the
champions League now. Maybe next year when we strengthen our selection again. But now we have to come as far as possible and maybe we can beat everyone, that I am sure. And we have proven that already, also in the premier league."

"But we are not good enough to win the champions league. You can win, and when we are there we shall try to do everything but you also have to be realistic. I'm happy with my squad now but we can strengthen the selection still in certain positions, for example the left-back position is not well covered."

Louis van gaal..............Sky sports!!!



Left back? What of striker? Good god........

Better late than never! 'Giyazz' probably won this by sticking to the script but this 'pdizzle' guy also 'came harder than a _porn star' to the party! He is one to watch! Great rhymes, imagery and content by both parties! Best battle of the tourney so far!

Mvgt: giyazz!

TV01:
It's not a boast - Mindfulness has provided unimpeachable evidence, and Freecocoa has categorically stated that it's the baddest girls that get the dream men.

TV

Is that so? Abeg help me ask 'cocoabutter' how come "cossy 'the boobs' orjiakor" is still single then!

Sweet battle! E be like say some "underlying beef" dey between these 2 homies because all the bullets, axes, saliva, teeth and punches wey full dis thread tire me!


Funniest bar from elymaxiimus:

"you said i lost to the coogar/ wrong! 'cause recent events proved the fraudster's a loser/"

Kai my man gbenguze don hear am! The consistency of his bars in every graph, methaphors and the brutal personals also did maximum damage to lim( those pix were funnier than family guy!)

Limerick also went hard on this bar;

"so I pierce a nail through his flesh. . .but if his scream's derailing the thread/ I go 'straight to the point' and 'hit the nail on his head'!!/"


Limerick also had some tight "metaphorical gems" littering his graphs but was less consistent! Limerick should have just beat him up with supreme flows since it seems he was lacking in the "personals department" against elymax!


Mvgt: elymaxiimus!!



Good showing from both guys!

Sorry I'm late but my nigga got hitched yesterday so the 'gala and booze' made nairaland look like an add maths blog to me all thru the weekend!

Mvgt......... jigsawkillah


Both jig and oluwagrin were consistent, but I think jig won dis with 'experience'! Oluwagrin kept it within the 'naija realm' with some of his bars so kudos 4 that! After all na nairaland be dis! But jigs contribution was more 'poetic' in general! All though I think you could both have done better since this topic was easy as fu.........oh? Its sunday so I can't finish dat last part! Nice showing!

Senate presi-THIEF!

Timbuktou:
And I have said men should not be chaste? Stop arguing with yourself woman. You refuse to respond to questions thrown at you.. But for some weird reason you think you can ask questions of others. You cannot railroad us to accepting your opinions, you will convince us using persuasive superior argument. If you're not here to argue but poo poo our thoughts I guarantee you're not welcome. This is no tampon thread for those with no control over their menstrual hormones.

Bros don vex! That's her modus operandi...take note!

Wtf?

roxxie:
How about pharmacies in lagos? Directions please

Don't live in lagos, but you can go to the pharmacies in "shoprite at lekki"! They have everything!

Mvgt; peindanzo

This line stood out!

"there may be hip-hop in love but never love in hip-hop/"


Complex and deep line! Too bad some of the other bars seem to have been stuck in traffic! I thought this was supposed to be an 'ode to hip hop'? It came of looking like a confused and angry break up with hip hop at some point!

Try to listen to a track by the chicago rapper "common" called "I used to love her" next time before you tackle such a theme! It would guide you!!!

SailorXY:
Fellaini does well in a middle -3-, as do the entire team actually.

LvG knows it, if most of the players are bored then it's LvG's cross to bear not the other way round.

What does he actually do well? Killer passes? Score freekicks? Volleys from outside the box? Control the game from midfield? Drive the team forward? NO? Bruv! Fellaini just plays "aproko soccer"! elbowing, chesting or bullying smaller players all over the pitch! United is not a "butch soccer team", he does not fit in at all with what is normally expected of united midfielders! He is "average"!!!

GARY '1 CHANCE' NEVILLE SPEAKS;


"I've been offered jobs in football over the last
four or five years but the timing has not been
right," he said. "I wanted time to learn after
coming out of football. But when I received the
call on Sunday, I thought what an opportunity
and what a challenge. Sitting on TV talking about coaches these last few years, the time has come for me to stand up. This is a wonderful football club. If I turned down this opportunity, I would have lost some credibility."


My responsibility is to appraise the players as quickly as possible and pick the best system that allows us to win straight away. Spanish is going to be my biggest challenge, but I have to immerse myself. I will take lessons every day - but I can't find a teacher to get up at 6am. I'm incredibly excited to be here. I understand the huge responsibilities I've been given. I know the passion and intimidation from the fans from playing here in the past and I want to harness that in the coming months."


"I'm very aware of the traditions at Valencia, I
came up against some fantastic wingers in my
time as a player, My responsibility is
to appraise the players as quickly as possible
and pick the best system that allows us to win
straight away. We don't have a pre-season. It's important to pick the right team to win matches,
irrespective of style."


"The only way to approach it is as a permanen job, even though the contract is only until June! Every decision I make will not be a short-term decision. I don't believe in working that way. We will appoint people from within the club, I don't want to bring over an army of coaches. I want stability at the club. My family will move over to Valencia. I always wanted at my club for foreign players to show commitment to the city and to the culture, and it's important I show that level of commitment."


"The idea of a coach or a player talking about anyone else other than the players at the club disgusts me. I want to work with the players in the dressing room. Those players deserve the opportunity, they are wearing the badge and wear it with pride I'm sure. We have young players, it's easy to make decisions too soon on young players but I'm very patient."

Fellaini should actually be playing for either "stoke or chelsea" because he is not united material at all! Herrera is a fans favourite for a reason, its just that his attacking instincts and style of play in midfield which have endeared him to the fans are not in line with the "craplosophy" that his head coach prefers!

He should just go to barca abeg, I'm tired of seeing him treated badly by gaal! As for "ince", well he was a bruiser in his day and a lot less talented than ander so maybe na 'bad belle'! He is also a mega failed coach so he needs to sip a 'hot cup of stfu' till he finally understands how to manage talent!

End time kasuwa? Hope dey are able to save the gworo pyramids anyway!!!

Mourinholic:
Rafael and Nani's incidents were in the 1/4finals....Thats too far from the trophy to count

Don't take this as a snide remark, but the last thing we need on this thread is a 'chelsick fan' whose team are currently 'keeping it real in the relegation zone' trying to chat to united fans about trophies, winning in europe, prestige, players, coaches, wealth, success or even league positions!

Change the discussion or come back when your opinions actually matter, or at least when your teams position on the log changes! Maybe sometime in febuary when you guys may be in 10th or 8th but definitely NOT NOW!

kr0ne:
Cc: Sinizia. Please help us create a topic - and a thread later - for our late comers, Obesemf Vs Raplinx. To post on Saturday. Thanks.

Dude! A lot of the netcees you have participating the king of poetry tournament are unreliable no shows! Or maybe its because there is no "owo, kudi or ego" involved in the comp? Who knows!

Although I've noticed that most dudes in the rap section are also lazy when it comes to trying to perfect their art via battling or while trying to make it in this game! Its called the 'reverse hustle syndrome'! You vets and the mods need to find a solution to this ish! Even the millionaire artists who come to my spot to perform regularly are more committed than this regardless of whether its about 'cash or kind'! Sound the "alarm"!!!

Rexaxe? This your poem is more like a braggadocio street single from your yet to be released 'new york' album! "Nines busting? And techs are sprayed?" For naija? I don't believe it! Its not bad but the 'originality factor' and the 'poetic flow' was missing from your bars!

You could have scripted the events in your hood with more depth too, we've seen this format too many times in normal battles but at least you were consistent but these your 'dots' tire my eyeballs small!

You may have won via a no show, but when you come up against a 'proper poet' in the subsequent rounds you may be in for a nasty suprise! Go for more depth and unique metaphors in your next poem! Shalom!

Best graph:

"This is my hood .. Where daily .. Techs are
sprayed .. / the sky is a mirror reflecting the
darkness beneath, .. The light kept away ../
streets aint safe.. death .. is a step away ../"

Mvgt; rexaxe!!!

GAZ! PHILOSOPHY FOR THE FUTURE UNITED?


"Four years ago I made the very clinical decision
that I wasn't going to take a coaching role, That I was going to watch
football. I'd only ever seen Manchester United.
Watching a game live, analytically, is completely
different. I wanted to go and watch every
single different type of football that I possibly
could over a three, four or five year period."


"All these matches, I never would have watched
if I'd been a coach at a club and you change
over time! But you end up
finding yourself and what your beliefs are in
football. Barcelona during the first few years
of my Sky career were probably the best team
that's ever lived in most people's eyes and in
my eyes. But they don't meet my principles on
football."


"The Borussia Dortmund team over that period.
The first Bayern Munich team under Jupp
Heynckes. They were more aligned to me.
That's what I like. The Barcelona philosophy is
unique to them. Of course, I want teams that
press from the front. But the endless
possession? I believe in possession but I don't
believe in constant possession!"

"Ask me who I would model myself on as an aspiring coach right now and in a flash I would give you the name of Mauricio Pochettino! "His teams style is high-energy, passionate, good to watch, defending high up the pitch"and these are "all the things I would love to instil myself and my teams as a coach".

Garry 'gaz' Neville [valencia boss]...Sky Sports!!


The Glazers and the fans are watching you closely gaz!

Ogbeni strikes again! Welcome to the labour market anyway!!!