₦airaland Forum

decatalyst:
Joke time: On sunday I was sitting in the church, and it wastime for offering so the offering basket was pass around. Despite the Pastor's charge for goodoffering, I still hurriedly and secretly pulled out N50 from my pocket and dropped it.Just then, the person behind me tapped me on the shoulder and handed me a N1,000 note. I smiled, then put d N1,000 majestically in the basket and passed it on. I turned and thanked the manprofusely for being so generous.He replied, "Don't mention my dear, after all it felloff your pocket."WhaaaatIf you are in my shoe what will you do?



Happy new month.

CHESTER48:
You are a typical liar.you can lie to non medical or medical doctors who might not have time to read this.But i am reading it,and i have time now to tell you how bad you are in lien.You suffered off and was in stroke.which stroke did the doctor tell you you were in?because it is only one stroke which can be treated at the hospital so.was it "ISCHEMIC stroke" OR " Hemorrhagic STROKE"Which one and be clear.another thing,High blood pressure is not anemia.But Since both high blood pressure and anemia directly relate to kidney function they often come in pairs.example..High blood pressure damages healthy kidneys. Healthy kidneys produce the hormone that regulates red blood cell production. So, if kidneys damaged by high blood pressure aren't producing the red blood cell hormone, anemia is the result.Work on your English it bad..just know[s] you have a medical tycoon or whatever i don't want to brag okay[/s].nut know it my work though.check ma profile and location never lies..

Parasitic:
I woke up from my hostel bed February 2006 and was greeted with a swollen face and legs as well as fever, tiredness, lack of appetite and severe headache.

I went home and visited a doctor who conducted urinalysis protein 4+, serum creatinine 5, urea 60, doppler scan which showed that the both kidneys were getting weak. Doctor diagnosed chronic kidney failure. Met a nephrologist who told me I had high blood pressure 200/90, anaemia. So he initiated treatment with drugs but I was so ignorant of this killer ailment that I neglected my drugs and didn't bother watching what I consumed like, alcohol, cigarettes...

By September 2008, I was getting too weak, slim, pale, breathlessness, no urination. I travelled home and miraculously I didnt collapse on my journey because I was a dead man walking.

Finally, when I got home, I sat on a couch and collapsed. Well the next time I regained consciousness, I was told I had being in a 3-week coma. In fact I woke up hooked to a dialysis machine.

Doctor said I had stroke. I had up to a total 20 pints of blood transfusion, erythropoeitin injection three times weekly, iron sucrose, high bp drugs and the rest.

I was on dialysis for 6months, 3 times a week. Then it dawned on me that God given me a second chance to live. I started obeying all medical advice. Since I had stroke, I lost all my psychomotor skills. In short I had to restart life as a baby, I learnt how to move my body, eat, stand, walk, sit, talk, clench a fist. Then, within one month I was recovering with aid of physiotherapy.

January 2009, with the help of family, friends, well wishers. I was transfered to India, I had a kidney transplant April 2009, with mum as a donor. After the transplant I started feeling great. Haemoglobin was now normal, I started having normal urination, blood pressure now 120/70, infact if you had seen me before you wouldn't have recognised me again. I started living a normal life strictly according to medical advice which is to take immunosupresive drug for life.

Six years on I am still healthy, hale and hearty. I can't remember the last time I had malaria fever. Nigerian patients who did same surgery with me that same week, one died two years later, while the other had kidney rejection 3years later due to inconsistency in taking immunosuppresive drugs.


I give God thanks.

lonelydora:
Is it the trend now? PSquare showed his yesterday, Now Terry G is showing his....who will be the next?

MrHardOn:
This test is only suitable if you sense the babe is local.
If you try this with posh babes like Empress2014,GemC3 and Azeeza, you are on your own. That will.be the last time you had see them.
And some guys will want to try this out now....at your own risk.

donigspain:
We've read a lot about the "gold-digging" and "materialistic" tendencies of our ladies nowadays especially from broke guys.

So here is a little test for your girlfriends:

- Get the snack/food below ready in a fancy plate.

- Cover it up to hide content

- Act like you specially prepared the 'meal' for her (or both of you) to enjoy

- Allow her open the cover

- Watch her reaction (first 3 seconds matters)

- The first reaction is usually the NATURAL (and often inhibited) personal character.

rezzy:
Make I tell you.
My husband left his car Key in the car when he got to work. He called the gate men to help him out. From the drivers'seat window, they drag down one rubber, put a stick inside and push down a button on the door hand, all the doors opened. Omo, my husband fear e head.

oge4real:
See what Nigerians and their bad mouth has caused. This fellow needed help but was afraid to ask for it because people would come on social media to ask him what he did with all the money he earned as an actor.

Now he's dead, everyone is asking why did he die in silence.

echobee:
Hmmmmmmm! None of them helped,when he was alive . Now,he is gone ,all of them dey show face

jokesmaster:
WHY GUYS AVOID PRETTY LADIES

As compiled by Jokes Master

1). Most pretty ladies believe that their beauty is their
bargain to be well spent on, and most guys don't have
that kinda money to spend on a woman. Hence, they
avoid them.

2). Most pretty ladies always act pretty. They always
make it obvious that they know that they re pretty and
this behaviour tends to rub offensively on the faces of
guys. Hence, they tend to avoid them.

3). Most pretty ladies look down on non-handsome
guys, and this pisses off even the handsome guys who
are friends to these non-handsome guys.
So, in solidarity with their guys, those offensive pretty
ones are been avoided or hurt along the way.

4). Most pretty ladies are not sociable. Most of them
tend to be introverts, thereby sending the wrong
message to guys (that they re not needed).

5). Most pretty ladies are beauty freaks. An addition to
their beauty through extreme make-ups tend to make
them too beautiful to be approached by men. This
sends a sense of insecurity to guys, hence they avoid
them. Lolzz

6). Many guys believe that the more beautiful a lady is,
the less intelligent she would be. And most times, they
re proved right. This however, is an injustice to the few
beautiful and intelligent ones that abound.
Unfortunately, all of them suffer the consequences of
being avoided by guys.

7). Guys fear that the more pretty their woman is, the
more likely a money bag would come to snatch her
away from him.Hence, in order to preserve their hearts and dignity, they go for the averagely beautiful ones and avoid the beautiful ones.

SOURCE: http://www.diamondreport.com.ng/2015/01/why-guys-avoid-pretty-ladies.html

major466:
Disclaimer: This is advisable only in life threatening situation. Don't practice this on your husband.

HAH:
Am doing abd even today sef, God punish morning sickness as my wife is still in first trimester.

Funny enough my wife prefers my cooking when pregnant, see me see wahala o

kamez:
Its no biggie doing such a thing for the mother of my unborn kids.


But I don't eat pounded yam so except the meal is meant for her alone..

House chores don't scare me one bit. Even with my tight work schedule at the moment, I still tackle these chores with ease on daily basis.
I grew up with very lazy elder siblings so as the last born in the house , I did lots of house chores...till i gained admission and moved out of the house

Guess its gonna come in handy in a few yrs time


Besides whatsoever a woman can do for me witout complaining, I can reciprocate

dustymania:
Over beauty dey worry you shoow

Lakeshizu:
Pls do o, most of the death around that Ojota is caused by over speeding drivers, which I am one of. Am always in a hurry to beat traffic congestion and not to get robbed in the early hours of the day.

jojoki:
Who says 9ja girls are not beautiful?

You're indeed a product of Jah (flawless).

Proudly 9ja!

InZA:
Oh my!...You are so pretty.


No strings/PM attached.


Just a harmless compliment.

Oildichotomy:
Big bobbi is always better than some tiny oranges hanging out.

What is the essence of having small bo.obs when I have a chest.

emusmith:
I choose to use the word "Girl" instead of "Ladies" because I suppose that the later should know better, but unfortunately it's not always so.

A Typical Nigerian Girl is one who swallow hook, line and sinker everything she watches from Home videos, Hollywood and Telemundos...

Her role models are stars who has no good record when it comes to chastity and morals. Better put, Stars with indecent records...

I know some of these are common with ladies all over the world but most are unique to us here... Our brain is too much


Seven Wonders Of A Typical Nigerian Girl...


1. She asks you to borrow her money that she knows you wouldn't ask her to refund.

Their new style is "Borrow me, I'll pay back", How you wan take pay back na? You ain't working, How? I prefer to just freely give than to expect ANY lady to pay back! Hmmmm...
They don't ask too much because that might not be feasible. She may request around #3000 to #5000... Is it wrong to "beg" money? No! But, must you beg sef? Some girls are just too "BIG EYED". If your parents don't have it, don't go about begging! You will soon begin to open your legs for it! It's just plain Discontentment!



2. They Want To Trap A Guy With Pregnancy Just Because Of Marriage.


This school of thought is same with even the so called "Learned" ladies...It's a pity because he will NEVER love you which is actually why you want to trap him. Abstinence from Pre-marital sex is just the solution. You see a small looking girl and her appearance is like that of an old woman! SMH! Beaten and Battered! Even three bras put together can't lift it up...



3. She Spends Her Youthful Days Flexing And Partying And Her Pre-Thirty Years Praying And Searching


To whom it may concern:
You and church are far apart now... you spend every weekend in your boyfriend's house...he cheats on you and you're back to Square One...Going to church more than ever...Joined Choir or Usher (where guys will notice you). But, they're not... Do you have to go through all that?



4. She Believes She Can Transform A Guy, with what??


The fact you have nice curves and all doesn't make other girls not to have them.
Trying to change a guy (anyone at all) doesn't work except on movies and novels.
In fact, the only way to change him is to stand your ground! He wants sex before marriage? You give him and automatically and immediately he loses respect for you! ZERO TRUST for you till Jesus comes!



5. Jack Of All Trades Master Of None


I dunno what's so cool about dating different guys when you know you truly love just one!
I am talking about Multi-dating.
It's so common now especially with the invent of social networks like bbm, Facebook, whatsapp, badoo, 2go etc.
If he tells you He loves You and wants to marry , stop freaking out- think Future, Get to really know him. Flirting is a dangerous game!



6. Suffocating Her Dreams For A Rich Dude...


I was interacting with a Typical Nigerian girl one time and we discussed along these lines. Her comment about a friend of hers was "She was lucky, she just married a rich man, and me too I also want the same .." (i know she spends half of her day with junks over the TV) It is disheartening that most girls (at this age) just wants a man that will buy even toothbrush for them...Their plan is to enter into marriage with nothing but "Ghana Must Go" Haba! Even their dreams and aspirations can go to blazes if only they can find that guy... Since she left University, when was the last time she read a book? Hmm!



7. Adding No Mental Value To Themselves.

Continuing from Point 6, reading flies away from her dictionary after university! She feels relieved after school. Instead, she prefers to spend 6 hours in her friend's house talking from flats to grants, the whole day at the saloon or two days in front of the TV watching the Kardashians and Home Videos... Nothing to do to add to her mental capacity! Such ones wants to marry The Smart Ones to complement for their inadequacies! That she could do something about! Now that a child's intelligence taps 80% from the mum nko! hmm...


This is a Wake Up Call...Not A Bashing Thread, as it were...

Don't take it too personal...

Do something today, your children can really thank you for tomorrow!

A wise woman builds her house. A foolish one plucks it down!
IT STARTS NOW, not then!

dechandel:
Wetin concern Chicken republic and Gele o

neejay1986:
The agbero life style still dey him body, despite in G wagon still dey throw way hand outside.

Victoriousvic:
See my baby in the arms of another man.

Bisolarh:
I have been a guest on this forum for quite a while. I stumbled upon a thread created by the king of threads creator (tosyne2much) which made me decide to register on the forum. I have to come up with a counter thread even though I'm a lady

It took me high level of courage to put this up and i hope ladies will not vent their anger on me for writing this piece

10 Things Broke Girls Often Say

1. Any dude who cannot spend on me doesn't deserve sex

2. I have never bought a phone with my money, unless those who are stalking me are not aware of my needs

3. I can date any guy provided he can cater for my needs. Shey na handsomeness I wan chop ?

4. Any dude who cannot supply my needs has no business being in a relationship because money is the main lubricant to a good relationship

5. I can never date my fellow student because most students can't even eat three square meal a day

6. A guy who truly loves me should at least pay for my hair every two weeks

7. Though I have my own money but I can't date a broke guy because they are not always reliable

8. A guy who truly loves me must pay my t-fare at every visit

9. Me I can't suffer with any man ooooo. When he gets rich after suffering with him, he will dump me

10. I cant go to an expense of calling guys with my recharge card because they are not worth it

Ladies I'm sowi if this hurts

Let insults keep rolling