₦airaland Forum

You Nigerians used to call PDP share the money. What will APC be known for?

When he cannot give palliative to the poor but the rich are gifted cars.

This man is a super human. His recovery is fast. That is very nice to hear. Big congrats to him and his family

tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi

OP I salute your maturity but one thing I have come to understand about women of today is that they get married with the mind set of seeing the Union as a business venture where their calculations is that the man or husband will do this and all that for me so when little set backs is experienced then they show their ugly character. Continue to take care of your kid and move on. Forgive her and follow your heart that is all I can say. YOU ARE REAL MAN.

GodPunishBiafra:
Why do men die much more earlier nau
From diabetes, hypertension and prostate cancer especially

Please men, ENJOY YOU LIFE TO THE FULLEST WHILE YOU HAVE IT!
Don't live your life for anyone or to the happiness of anyone AT YOUR OWN DETRIMENT.
Our life expectancy is shorter, especially in this part of the world...

RIP to him.

The truth of the matter is with diabetes and hypertension, the sufferer needs to be very careful as regards stress and worrying too much. Men stress a lot and also worry too much because their wives are not helping matters. RIP man

Is PMB himself not a betrayal? A man who betrayed Nigerians after coming in as a president, so don't expect him to work with people who are very straight. They are all betrayals, snitch and backstabbers

He sensed danger

With this Covid19 issue, men still dey do olosho tins. The most annoying side is that before his death he would have been wearing face mask not to die of coronavirus but at last he died a gruesome death in that hand of opio.

Why is the army apologising for the death caused by a MOPOL. Is MOPOL now army? This news sha.

This man is a complete bastard. Doing it with his own daughter? How does he maintain erection seeing his own daughter's unclothedness? Mad man

How many people is NCDC testing a day?

passion007:
Suspected Coronavirus Patient In Ilorin Picked Up Without Personal Protective Equipment (PPE)


Oh my goodness!!
Look at these men wearing a fabric mask to pick up a suspected covid case

Oh my god, this is the height of irresponsibility by this government. You can't even protect your first responders, but there's PPE to be wasted on burying Abba Kyari, but no PPE to protect these frontline men ignorantly putting themselves at risk to save a life.

This is really depressing!!

Admin and mods need to push this to front page, urgently!!

Nigerian government needs to get her response right.

These frontline staff need to be immediately tested, and quarantined. They also need to sue the government for criminal negligence.
There's need to protect all frontline care staff. A fabric mask is useless against coronavirus and it is outrageous someone okayed for these poor men to be sent out to retrieve a coronavirus patient, wearing only a fabric mask. That is criminal!

This needs to go on front page, and urgently too.

This is a public health crisis.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y55pnUmKJTY

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=844510112709057&id=475203649639707

Please urgently push this to front page before these men return to their families tonight!!

Is government in Nigeria ever responsible? They are complete irresistible

For naija. Even Senator wey collect money and cover it with his cap wasn't investigated. Let dem investigate E-Money, he will come out clean. Who is dirty in Nigeria?

FALZ is a lawyer he can do the needful

This is deep

Lord Lugaurd, Obafemi Awolowo, Nnamdi Azikiwe and et al must be crying blood in their place of rest when they hear and see the level of corruption going on in the entity they forcefully created. APC and PMB has taken corruption to a new height.

This list is total crap

I am sure the IG doesn't see the wives of our politicians that use police attached to them as domestic staff. Though I am not in support of this but the IG should play the game square and fair

The Hausa cabals will not let this happen. Tinubu himself is power drunk and he wants to control the country.

This is pure hypocrisy!!!! The police out there are not even given facemask, instead they buy it. I am talking of police faskmask that POLICE is boldly written on it, it is being sold for 200 naira. I hate fake gestures like this. Your rank and file are working on the road and you CP cannot provide common face mask for them and you are here forming helping people, rubbish

All roads should lead to Madagascar. What of Prof Maurice Iwu's cure?

There is always two sides to a story. I would like to hear from the other side before I give comment.

ahmEenu:
hahahahah. joke of the year

Thanks man. coping with government lockdown is not easy and the landlady added more difficulties. I pity the tenants though

Two lockdowns, one by the government and the second by iron landlady

No dollars to steal if they patronise you, baba Iwu

Too many mistakes by this Iranian government

Seems the figures NCDC is reeling out is audio

I hope that son of El Rufai who promised to rape that woman the other time is not involved in this. Kaduna and rape is becoming something else ooo.

No more waiting for Bill Gates vaccine

inoki247:
Did she discover the cure also

Prof. Maurice Iwu did but I am so surprised that when the real covid19 came, him and and his cure are no where to be found. Igbo Amaka

Boys sef na wa oo. Even with this covid19 they are still inviting maga to Naija from Yankee. With all the high rate of infection and death in the US of A. The boy get mind ooo. The YY boy should be isolated and quarantined as well as all those who came in contact with him. E don red ooo

Pictures please