₦airaland Forum

4four:
I will say it again, most of illiterates fulanis are terrorist while most of their educated one are terrorist sponsor or sympathiser

100 percent correct

mannobi:
Please what do you damage when you watch clips of buhari talking

Ur brain

Oriyominolove:
I am sad and angry at myself right now for wasting three years of my life dating a stingy guy. I should have left since but I still held on hoping it will change but I was wrong.

I usually make this mistake of letting guys think I am financially independent. The reality is that I actually am. It's not in my nature to depend on a man for anything. I buy the things I need and give myself the things I want. This does not mean I wont appreciate financial support and gifts. I do appreciate them and I am happy when I receive them.

My current bf is a very stingy guy. He hates having to give me cash when I am in need and keeps making reference to my money and asking what I am doing with it.This is someone that earns far more than me but will never use the money to take care of himself.

Unfortunately each time I have need for money and he doesn't give me or gets angry and fights me, another guy will give me that money without any stress.

Just recently I was robbed on my way back from work. I lost my 2 phones, wrist watch, power bank, and hand bag. Everything was stolen. I was sad and ask my bf for support to replace those things stolen. Note: Not buy them for me but assist with any amount he can

The dude initially accepted to give me some money but later changed his mind. When confronted, he asked me what I am using my money for and that I should sort myself out with my money.

I feel really sad because I am not a demanding gf nor one who feels a man is a poverty alleviation program. But then I still would appreciate if my man gives me money out of the blues or when I am in need or needs support.

I am very much presentable and have offers from men who are willing to take care of me. Each time he turns his back on me when I need money from him, it makes me vulnerable to this men which I dont like. I cant even cheat on him but then I am only but a human

Am i asking for too much? I am fed up with this whole shit. Our relationship is okay except this money issues.What am I not doing right? Should I just end it?

Do u buy him gifts out of the blue. Do u give him money out of the blue. Why do u think it is your divine right he should do those things for you.
Equality means equality. Not only when it suits women

I believe in equality of the sexes. Equality of power. Equality of responsibility. Equality of financial burden. The OP is very correct. Since she earns, she should bear an equitable share of the bills.

And yes, the op should also bear an equitable share of house chores

Brazenbabe:
My point is that you people are quick to share bills with your wives/fiances but never share the domestic responsibilities
You people are quick to say what you did for her but never say what they do for you
See how all of you are on the other thread saying your families come before your wife, bla bla bla
Will you also tell your families your wives pay at least half of the bills?
I thought Nigerian women contributed nothing to the household and lives of their husbands? Why are we now being asked to pay for weddings
Abi would the man agree to answer our surname?

CEONAIJATUBE:
A JSS 2 Boy Allegedly Impregnanted A Female Corper In Cross River State.

Funny but crazy, the things we hear this days shaaa…

How is this even possible cause one would wonder whether a JSS 2 student is even fertile enough to put a grown corps member in #TheWayofFamily. Lolxx!!……

But you might also have to consider the boy’s age, what if he’s 18-year-old and still in JSS 2? So it’s possible!!

Also, some people in the know have confirmed how notorious the students of the school are.

According to a post on a facebook group “calabar rant”, A female member of the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) in cross river state, was allegedly impregnanted by a male junior secondary school 2 (JSS2) student.

It was learnt that the Corps member who was posted to the school for the Batch B session, was apparently hypnotized by the boy who slept with her regularly until she became pregnant. She was reported to the state NYSC Secretariat by the school authority who subsequently suspended her.

Her #BabyPapa wasn’t exempted, as the teenage father-to-be has also been sent home on suspension by the school authority.

See pictures below!:
https://nasonaija.xyz/2020/01/31/jss-2-boy-allegedly-impregnanted-a-female-corper-in-cross-river-state/

Lalasticlala.

Instead of calling out the lady for having sex with someone under her care, who is likely a minor, u are claiming this minor hypnotised the grown lady who is a graduate.

Pls, ascribe responsibility to this lady. And she should face the law for child abuse of the student is a minor. And if he is not a minor, she should be prosecuted for having sex with someone under her care, which is abuse of power and authority, and may qualify as rape

Annie939:
who will take care of there Child? the judgement is too harsh they should reversed it, at least prison will be better than death sentence

Will u say the same if the accused was male?

Violence is violence

ubunja:
Yes a man can be raped. Anyone can be raped.

Most people mistake a man's erection for consent or enjoyment. But that's like raping a woman and giving her an orgasm then claiming the orgasm meant she welcomed the sex. No. That Orgasm was just mechanical biology at work.

A man's erection is just mechanical biology at work as well, the body is saying Yes, but the mind is saying No.

n

Nicely said. Very accurate and in line with research evidence

hazan041:
How can i make A in my project?

Hard work sir. Hard work. Follow the advice of your supervisor/moderator. Don't argue against their advice. Make them feel u look up to them and respect them.

My point is that there is politics involved in projects. That may account for 10 to 20 % of ur score.

But hardwork is the key. Follow all guidance. Don't cut corners. For instance, bad bibliography can lead to loss of 5 % of marks. Bad spelling and grammar and formatting can lead to loss of 5 to 10 %

hazan041:
Please dear nairalanders I need your dearly advice

Am a student from a university here in Nigeria, it happens that I got 3.39 as my first gp which makes me unhappy but I didn't allow it to depress me... So the following semester I got 4.75 and now out of 8 semesters in total.. Am done with 4 now and my cgp totals 4.26 ... I have four semesters left.. Can I make it to 4.5? And what gp do I need to keep for each semester left to achieve that.... Thank you

Note: Don't talk about how grade doesn't matter in my life, am quite aware too as am not even planning to work with the degree

Best bet is target A in every course and in your project.

Goalnaldo:
it depends on the bank. Before our interview with uba Last year, we were told we will have to pay 200k if we resign within one year.

Now that is a significant variable. Your point is valid and will impact on any decision I will take if faced with the situation. And honestly, I don't have any answers now. I will have to think about it deeply.

This is exactly what I will do if I was faced with the situation.

I will start the bank job first

When employment letter for custom comes, I will carefully look at start date. When the start date reaches, I will take sick leave from bank or annual leave.

Once sick or annual leave is over, I will resigned from the bank stating personal and family reasons. My resignation letter will be carefully crafted, regretting that I cannot continue with them, but wishing I can come back in the future once my issues are sorted. It must include praise that they are the best people to work for. And make sure you praise your line manager and boss and colleagues in the letter

nnamdi65:
Hi guys Pls

Please a friend is expecting a job from Nigeria custom and have already received a bank teller job too today.

1. Bank Job pays 85k (take home)

While the custom Job is inspector Cadre 6 we don't know the payment.

Please does anyone have idea on custom inspector Cadre 6 payment or a suggestion of any the job offer to select
(Note the custom Job is on process)

Thank you.

Pedrotina11:
U r pained....Isreal is Gods first born....DAT is it...Nigeria is Gods last born, it has been over pampered..

Because you read a book, written by Jews, which says they are God's chosen.

Do you know what is philosophical empire building. Do you know what is called soft power. Have you asked yourself why is it that in American films America always wins or saves the day. In French films, France always wins or saves the day. In British films, the same happens.

Those things are projection of power. Philosophical empire building is meant to raise the morale of citizens, and project power outwards to the whole world. You are doing yourself a disservice by believing in anyones philosophical empire. You too can build yours.

The Igbos say ebube agụ na eche agụ. The glory of a lion protects the lion. That is why empires build glory, physical, phisolophical, and religious.

The saying that Israel is God's first born was ancient Jewish attempt to build glory. It worked for them. Every empire that does it successfully it works. You too can do it.

Read up on world history sir or madam

orbitalgis:
So you have been married for 20 years,meaning you are not a kid sir.What I find rather disturbing about your action is that you have chosen to bring your marital affairs to Nairaland for less experienced folks to chip in without even confronting your wife first.There is no wisdom in your approach and it's a shame to be honest.

You are correct that many on nairaland seem not to have enough life experiences to help in matters like this. But I have read some reasonable comment on nairaland too.

The OP needs to be wise while reading comments, and choose wisely.

Tekzyflex:
Old fire wood no dey quench! OK let me advice you what to do. Take her phone without her knowing. Delete the man's contact on her phone. Delete every form of social media contact she has with the said man. Just do it secretly. Thank me later

But the Kaduna man has her number, and will call her to find out why she is no longer chatting him up. If his number is blocked, he can call her with another number

kweensheba:
When a man, a supposed gentleman, raises his hand to physically assault a woman, he stops being a man. He becomes a beast. Say no to domestic violence.

What of the day a woman insults and psychologically abuses her man? What does she become?

Say no to all types of violence : physical, psychological, and emotional

Brunosamel:
Hello guys, I have been worried about this issue, I just graduated recently and am at the peak of my career trying to shape up my life for the better future, my girlfriend, someone that I have been dating for the for the past 6 months... we have so much in common and built our relationships with love and trust... the journey wasn't easy but we were able to settle our differences and understand each other....

Recently she met a childhood friend whom she had a crush on when growing up, but the guy never asked her asked to be his girlfriend never said anything to her cuz he saw her as a small girl then..
The guys is into business and has quite established himself... last 2 months the guy asked her out and she told me about it cuz she needed my permission whether she should go or not and I said okay she can but it will only be first and last time she will go out with him...

To cut the story short, last night I called her line and she was on another call for more that 30 minutes.... I confronted her about it and she started crying was begging me that she was sorry and that the guy is really disturbing her....... asking her to give him a chance, to the extent that she should leave me for him, he will give her anytime and even train in the university.... she told the guy she can't leave her boyfriend becuz she loves me so much.... I was dumbfounded and I don't even know what to do about it cuz I don't have the resources (money) at this moment

Relationships gurus what do you think about my situation I need your opinion and suggestions cuz I love this girl so much and want to settle down with her cuz she suffered with me and I suffered with her.... say what ever you want to but just be brutal honest with me....

I wonder what you want us to say to u.

The decision lies with the lady. Let her choose who she wants. If she chooses the man, thank your God and move on. You will not understand this now, but I am sure u will later...

CAPSLOCKED:
80% OF THEM WENT FREE BECAUSE THEY BLAMED IT ON SELF DEFENCE.

THE OTHER 20% RECEIVED ONLY MINIMAL PENALTY BECAUSE THEY BLAMED IT ON THE DEVIL.

AND MR. CROCODILE TEARS WILL ALWAYS BE AVAILABLE TO BAIL THEM OUT.

And this list does not include those that killed their husbands by poison, and said the men were poisoned at beer parlour.

Say no to violence whether done by man against a woman, or a woman against a man.

ppeessuu:
Goddeywithme I like ur analysis a lot n I totally concur to it but in my own case I have developed an absorber that no AMT of women insult would move me but the cross line for any woman no matter ur leve is to raise ur hand n hit me then u will receive the beating of ur life.
From the op narration what I can conclude is that the man did the intentionally n it is very wrong. But men can sometimes snap by heating a woman just once not continuous beating.

You are correct, if the OP is giving us an accurate picture. However, there are gaps that make me wonder if I have understood what really transpired. That does not mean she is lying, or deliberately not saying the truth. No no no. I am only saying I am suspending my judgement because I am unsure if I fully understand the situation.

By the way, I have only read OP's statements on 1st and second page (I think). Maybe she has released more information that has created a fuller picture. If she has and I am still saying she needs to give us more information, then I am sorry.

Thank you sir.

folks4luv:
If a guy who has served in the military for 15 years or even less verbally assault you will you vent your frustration through physical assault on him or you will calculate your weaknesses against him and find an alternative? The truth is, some men vent frustration on their wives cause they know they can handle them. A civilian married to a military woman won't try it

Based on ur analysis, a woman married to a soldier won't try it also.

Pls ma'am, my point is that verbal assault is wrong. Just as physical assault is wrong. If I did not explain it well, I am sorry.

But let me repeat it. Verbal assault is wrong, whether done by man or woman, whether the victim is man or woman.
Physical assault is wrong, whether done by man or woman, whether the victim is man or woman.

Hope I made my point clearer this time ma'am

Plead:
Rubbish. So if I should give you the insults of your life that will make you regret why you came to life the next thing is to physically assault me abi?
I repeat,no amount of verbal assault equates or requires physical assault. Insult the person back or forget about it.

Honestly,I keep saying it that 90% of Africans(especially Nigerians) if given the chance to live in the west they won’t last upto 5months before being locked up/thrown into jail.

Animals !

Hahahaha. How many Nigerians and Africans live in the west. Do u know? How many have gone to jail. Where is your statistics sir?


Well, u deserve to hold on to your opinion. Its urs. Good luck with it. And enjoy ur life.

I hold onto my opinion. And my opinion is this: any form of abuse, physical or psychological, is wrong, irrespective of the gender who is the abuser and the gender who is the victim. I believe in equality of men and women. No one has the right to abuse the other, physically or emotionally or psychologically.

Graxie:
Read this and get your answer.

Did you see this part? See it copied and posted below. It is from the same post I made you said I justified violence against women. Now tell me how this bolded part below justifies violence against women.

I do not condone and do not justify violence against women. I also do not condone and do not justify verbal violence by women against men. I believe in equality. No verbal assault. No physical assault. Both are injurious to the victim.

Graxie:
You are not wanting people on Nairaland to see anything, you are just shocked to know that a man can decide not to beat a woman that yells at him. You are not use to such a scenario. You are justifying women battering due to yelling and claiming the men snap. I have shown you that I yell, not all the time but when it happens, I don't get beaten. My sound husband doesn't see my yelling as an avenue to beat me. Meanwhile, enjoy. Keep doing what works for you.

Where did I justify men beating women? Point it out for me and I will apologise on my knees.

I do not and will never justify men beating women. However the same way I condemn men beating women, is the same way I condemn women yelling at and insulting men. That is me. I condemn both.

Pls, read my previous posts and show me where I justified men beating women. I am waiting patiently for u to point it out to me

Graxie:
Get it that my husband can never beat me, let it sink in your head. I know and I am sure, my home is far different from what you guys have and portray on nairaland. He can never snap to beat me, oh before I forget, this year makes it 16years of my knowing him. Men with head don't snap to beat their wives. Don't bother about my kids, the home they are coming out from and the type of father they have is already a testament that they won't beat their wives. As per my daughter, she will choose right.

You are so concerned that your husband won't beat you. That's significant. I am happy for you.

Have you wondered about the impact of your yelling? Have you. Do you know what it does to him. Do you seriously believe your kids enjoy seeing their mother yell at their father?
Have you read any psychological research about what that yelling does to the man and to the children who witness it?

Or you think because you do it in your room when you are alone with your husband (if that is the case) that your children do not know?

As I said, enjoy your life ma'am. Its your life. Just know that what goes around comes around.

You said you have a daughter. She is learning from you that it is okay to tell at a man. Let us pray she gets a man who will never snap at her

If her future husband never snaps at her, she might yell at a random man in the public, who will snap t her and who knows, hit her. The man may go to prison, but ur daughter might be seriously injured, or go six feet under

What is wrong is wrong madam, irrespective of who does it. That is the main thing I am trying to explain here. By the way I am not trying to change you. I only want all readers on nairaland to read my perspective as well as yours, and choose which way to follow. To each his or her own

Graxie:
Keep your advice, I have been married for 11 good years, sometimes I yell when I don't like a particular situation. He doesn't raise his hand, sometimes I don't even respond and beating doesn't happen. He is a balanced man, his brain is working. We are heading to our 12 years, no shaking.

There you go justifying your yelling. Hahahaha. You see....

The same way u justify your yelling, so will your man (and other men) justify beating you the day he will snap.

I do not condone and do not justify violence against women. I also do not condone and do not justify verbal violence by women against men. I believe in equality. No verbal assault. No physical assault. Both are injurious to the victim.

You are as free as the wind to do what u want to ur man. Its ur life. Remember though, that you are teaching ur sons that it is acceptable to be yelled at by a woman. You see, what goes around comes around.

Enjoy ur life ma'am. It's ur life

Graxie:
This is the second time according to you, the next beating we will read it here with rip beneath. Useless women, no sense, you keep marrying idiots from damaged homes. Most of them are already here, seeking to justify the man's reason for beating you. Continue, Zainab from Abeokuta journey ended on 25th December due to beating, she is gone. Be here and be looking for advice. Assuming you even said something that made him angry, is it a cause for beating? This is my 11th years in marriage, my husband can never raise his hand on me. The highest thing he does is to walk away. Sound men don't beat their spouse, only animals do. Stop looking for answers here, go and enjoy beating. I hope you survive the next episode.

Glad your man doesn't beat you.

I hope u show the same restraint by not verbally assaulting him.

His muscles is his strength. Ur tongue is yours.

Just as he shows restraints in his strength, do the same. Always walk away, instead of insulting him.

Plead:
Look at words?

No amount of vabal rants/ assault equals physical assault. Nigerians/Africans need to know this!

Animals

I disagree with you 100%

Verbal assaults can be emotionally and psychologically damaging. Their impacts last for years and destroys people. Sometimes it is more lethal and leaves no trace, in the sense that it can drive the victim to suicide, and leaves the guilty party free to walk away innocently, because there is no evidence. Comments like yours make women feel they have the God given right to use their tongue to kill a man's soul, believing it is acceptable and has no consequence. Not so sir.

I beg you to read up on psychological books on the evidence of the destructiveness of emotional and verbal assaults.

As many have said, op's story doesn't add up. I am waiting for the fuller picture before I....

Just as many women say that the day a man lays a hand in them, that is the end of the marriage/relationship. I often say, the day a woman verbally or emotionally or psychologically insults me, that is the end of the relationship /marriage. This mindset has led me to avoid abusive women.

Some women will come here now and say but that is just a way for a woman to vent her frustration. Thus makes me laugh when I hear it. My reply to them is this, what if I tell u that a man beating u is his way of letting out his frustration?

My advice to women is if u want a shouting match or want to show ur prowess in verbal assaults, go finds a fellow woman. For men, if u want to show ur strength, go find a fellow man and have a boxing match.

I know the impact of emotional and psychological abuse by women. I know men who have committed suicide because of that, and the woman continues to enjoy life.

Women also rape men.

Your advice is excellent. I would have liked u to include this question: did she rape him?
Or do you think it is impossible that a woman can rape a man?



[quote

But I think you should still ask your brother how it happened. Were they into a relationship before she met you? Did he rape her?[/quote]

davillian:
Bro
If truly they are your friends they should be able to give you a soft loan to start a business.
If they can't then they are truly not your friends....
What you should do is to get close to family and your true friends making money legitimately for assistance write your business plan and mail all of them and if nothing comes out baba join them make small change invest it....
Pls if you join them and make small money hopping you don't get caught in the process cut them all off.....
God help you sometimes in life you need to dance with the pigs in the mod to cool off.

Is it not possible that Most of those who refuse to help a friend until the friend joins the business are into some sort of ritual.

That is y they won't help u because if they do, u will enjoy clean money, while they suffer the consequences of doing whatever ritual they did.

Think about that OP.

Good plan you have there. Thanks ma'am

One line in your comment caught my eye. You said he is a man who knows how to spoil his woman. And it seems you enjoy that. Which is excellent.

Just remember men like to be spoilt too (I know you have plans to do that).

You see, I am a man who loves and respects women as my equal. This has made me to enjoy the best of women. It has also meant I have no time for a woman who has entitlement mentality, who believes in equality of power but not equality of responsibilities. I believe women are equal to men, in power and in responsibilities.

From your past two comments, it seems to me you are a rare woman. You know what you want. You go for it. You treat men as your equal, in power and in responsibilities. THAT IS RARE. Kudos to you.

I hope young Nigerian ladies will learn from you. You are an inspiration.

victorian:
I thought of buying him a designer wristwatch but he has 5 expensive designer watches.
I thought of perfume, he has some collections of designer perfs. He even gave me two out of his collections .
Then he made a transfer of 100k for my Xmas celebration!
In a split second! I was like wow!

It's good to date a real man who knows the value of spoiling his love with gifts and money.

Hmm I'm thinking of gifting him designer shoes. Even though he made it clear, all he wants is my loyalty . That's all he needs from me.
And I solemnly swear I will be faithful

But I will still buy those pair of designer shoes next week and gift him. He deserves it.

victorian:
Y'all have time arguing this topic every day.. I swear una get time.

Ladies! Work on yourselves, hustle, make your money, upgrade your lives. And in the process of it, don't manage or suffer with any broke guy, cause broke guys are just there to use y'all.
When uv tushed up yourself, your character, your career to a certain level, rich matured guys will come your way, and beg to spend the rest of their lives with you. They will make you feel like the princess you are.

Forget story that guys no longer spend or take care of their responsibilities. Some do. Forget about anyone saying your age is going, that's story of the birds. If your don't over use your body and u take good care of yourself, u will always look young and adorable.
I'm in my 30s, I date only rich guys. Not yahoo. But correct rich guys who struggled and made it to the top. If any rich guy I date and his character is zero I break up, I don't have time to teach a grown man how to be husband material. If you are not husband material from the day u start wooing me, and after checking your character for like a week! then forget it. Because I'm 1000% wife material and Ive paid my dues accordingly.
My man is 1000% husband material as well. He spends, he balls hard and works hard. And he's so amiable. His wealth doesn't get to his head. He has already given me my Xmas gift, a lovely bank alert. That's the beauty of dating a rich understanding guy. But it took me many years, to meet someone like him and I was patient. And I'm still patient. I will never ever date or marry broke guy., God forbid! I will never even marry a rich arrogant man who doesn't respect me , God forbid as well! I jump them pass!

So if you are patient babes and work towards your goal, u will get the best of men. That's what I told my best friend. I told her, Alhaja I must marry the best of men out there. My husband must be It! If not I'm not marrying.
She replied, insha Allah God will do it, I replied in Jesus name Amen.

And that's the truth. I ain't settling for less!

What was your Xmas gift for him please ma.

Hope it was as good as what he gave you ma.

If not.....