₦airaland Forum

Jungpablo:
why are you so concerned about the money? How the money is spent is not your business after all the girls family have been taking care of expenses. Your boy is not complaining it's not his money after all

Point of correction he is also spending and taking care of the expenses.

I guess the only money part you seeing try and read all over again .....you see where the girl sister forcefully discharge the baby without the parent consent.....she signed everything but now they are back and the hospital is rejecting the baby.

excellence44:
Now I get it.
Do you have the NGOs number? Involve them in this issue and let your boy declare total war.

That even least of the issue now......they are rejecting the baby here.

The mother and father slept outside the hospital with the baby.


They are saying since she signed the forceful discharge they can never admit the baby back.

excellence44:
Of course. The guy is just a sperm donor.

Am at the hospital now and we are hearing another thing..........she signed undertaking for the baby be released to her and the baby doesn't belong to the father.

Infact she has requested for the money to be released to her.

Now the picture is clearer now...the girl family are actually after the money not the baby well being

Double0h7:
I didn't say any of that. Also, there might not be even enough for the operation and the hospital stay. He needs to forget about that money and raise more money because this is going to be an expensive and stressful process.

Am at the hospital now and we are hearing another thing..........she signed undertaking for the baby be released to her and the baby doesn't belong to the father.

Infact she has requested for the money to be released to her.

Now the picture is clearer now...the girl family are actually after the money not the baby well being.

HenryDion:
If the boy doesn't have money, he doesn't have a say. Stop trying to save a drowning man or you'll drown yourself.

So he should walk away abi

And the lady should kuku be a single mother.

Because I don't think anyman can stand being talk down on.

player007:
1) How long has he worked for you?
2) Do you trust him?

If your answer to question 2 is Yes then Fight for him like your own brother. But seek his mother’s consent first. ( e get reason)
He’a still the father of that child, so he has a say.
The family is just trying to sideline him because of the money.
He shouldn’t drag the money with them oh.
The child’s HEALTH should be his priority.
If you can’t do all the work. Get him a very good lawyer.

Why I want to fight for him is all the money this boy is making he is actually spending on the baby and the lady......not like he is acting irresponsible

If he had much I know he will do alot from the lil he is doing now.

The gilr family threaten they won't let him see the baby isn't cool for me....that why I want to step in.

BlackyOne:
Like you've stated that the girl's father has been the one paying the medical bills, what the young man that impregnate her should be concerned about is the health and safety of both mother and child and not on the money donated.

The Father of the girl who has been responsible for her should be in charge of the donated funds, the money isn't meant to enrich the them or the boy irrespective of how much is actually spent from it...

It would be absolute greed and lack of self respect and worth for the boy to even be concerned about how the donated fund is disbursed, as long as the baby and mother are receiving good care that should be enough for the boy!!!

Why are you all focusing on the money ??

Am talking about him not being carry along and not recognise in the decision making.

Assuming when the girl sister discharge the baby against doctor advise something Terrible happens will be saying this??

Stenewiser:
which part of Nigeria are you from, that nigga can not claim that baby, if he wants to be wise let him perform all the marital rite for the girl, before calling that child his own. you are a man, imagine this was your daughter, and who told you that man is his father in-law.

U are still not getting the point here.

The point here is the girl family wanting to cut the father off totally.

If not for the surgery.....the girl was staying with him through the pregnancy until delivery...they were transferred to a federal hospital he staying there with the girl feeding her and paying for some of the medical bills.

Telling him to stand and watch while all decisions are made without recognising him is totally wrong.

By law of the country he is the father of the child...he has to be carried along.

The girl sister forceful discharge of the baby without his consent is wrong..

If he decides to work away now...they will tag him a dead beat father

Double0h7:
I'm sorry to say but he has to step back and humble himself. It's not his money so he has no say on how the money is spent. He needs to do his bit and be patient until they pass this stage. It's not a time for ego. He should be grateful for the father who stood in where his family stepped back.

U guys are not getting me .....isn't about having a say about the money but rather knowing how the money is spent.

So what if the surgery cost 200k and the girl family decides to share the remaining 700k among themselves?? That ok

excellence44:
Poverty na curse. As a poor guy, unmarried to the girl, and being irresponsible to the baby's upkeep, he should just stay back and let the girl's family take care of the baby. Dick alone is not what makes a man.
Poverty strips you of some rights.
As for you, what fight do you want to fight? Is your boy married to the girl?

And when the baby is discharge what happens ??...the girl family will keep on taking care.

Karleb:
Tell him what you just told us


People can be funny sha. Their ringtone changed when they saw money.

Tell him to let go of the money. I'm very sure the girl's family will kill themselves for the money.

Isn't even about the money....is the boy having a say aleast.

Good morning peeps.

Please I will try as much as possible to make this narration short because I need advice on how to handle this issue.

I have a boy that works for me ......he is from calabar, one thing sha lead to another a lady got pregnant for him ......fast toward to October she had an early delivery so the baby is premature.

The baby was referred to a federal government hospital since October.....the girl father have being the one paying majority of the bills due to the guy financial situation before some group of ngos donated about 900k to the baby.

A lady came around on Friday claiming to be the girl sister and forcefully discharge the baby claiming the hospital is just collecting money without doing anything......she said the baby will be taking to a better private hospital......the baby needs a minor surgery but can't be operated yet due to being a premature.

Yesterday the girl father came around and discovered about the baby being discharge ....he started calling the boy threatening him.....I intervened letting him know it was the girl sister that asked for the baby to be discharged....he told me the girl doesn't have a sister.

We move there yesterday night......on getting there the man said the baby need to be readmitted again but the hospital said they can't..After so much begging they accepted.
The issue now is nobody is allowing this guy have a say....anytime he try to talk they all shut him up.

He was blamed for what happened instead of the lady....which I had to speak up for him......the lady sister was the one who signed for the baby to discharged and instead of taking them to a private hospital this lady took them to her house.

So after studying everything I discover the girl family wants to sideline him because of the 900k ......they don't want him to know anything about how the money is spent........the guy is trying is best to pay for somethings he can infact him and girl are living in the hospital.

He is not educated and not smart....his mother refused to help out so he is all alone.

Please nl how do I help this guy gain access to how this money is spent and stop the girl family from treating him like a nobody.

Note: the surgery requires about 200k from what I learnt.

Some people will still call it Audio.


They just don't want to hear anything good in there life about the country.

Kudos to fg for this.

Solofresh2:
The reason why people don't pay attention to the Molesting of the male child is because the opposite gender is seen as the weaker vessel and nobody is ready to come out to talk about it today especially the male gender.
The female gender are seen as a sexual entity that can be abused so people tend to concentrate on the female gender when it comes to sexual molestation and expect the male child to sort himself out.
The male gender are not even taking it serious as well because some see it as nothing
The world isn't really fair on the male gender despite the fact that it's a man's world

Most mother if they get to know her son was molested i think she won't be bother like if it was her daughter.
It just the society not giving a Bleep about boys and we don't know we creating problems for the future.

babasolution:
Apart from sexual issues,there are more pressing needs for boys that need to be addressed, especially concerning values and how to face the storms of life,more like life skills and mentorship that boys need from successful men,boys are not getting mentors,there's a clever boy to systematically and gradually defranchise the Nigeria boy,thereby disrupt his success in life as a man.It's a ploy to destabilise the black male,like they did in blackamericans,here in Nigeria they are cleverly using our own people to truncate the success of future blackmen by denfranchising boys while elevating girls

I agree totally with you....that why we all need to speak up.......why am starting with sexual part is to make people know boys experience molestation too.

If we can actually first bring it to people consciousness then we can gain attention to push other matters (like u mentioned forward)

I can clearly recall there one anuty (i guess a family friend)that do come carry me then....I think i was around 6yrs.
She always made me suck her breast or put my hand and rub it.....she was always naked.
I can't say I understood those things because I don't even no the meaning then....she did it for a while before they moved out from our street.

My rape case or let say forceful sex experience was during my service year.....I was dating a fellow corper and at some point I started avoiding her due to her bad temper.....After almost 3month of no sex with her she came to my place one night without informing me......she held to my cloth that I must tell her why am avoiding her to cut long story.....she had to stay because it was late.

During midnight this girl didn't let me sleep she use all her power to remove my short I didn't want to hit ( that was only thing I could do to stop her) at a point when the stress was too much i had to let her to do it......she was looking at my eye as she was doing it and it was filled with anger and hate.
Throughout that nigth I was just counting down to 6am for her to leave and never see her anymore.

We men experience this things too but is just that society which comprises of both men and women make it laughable for boy/man to say this things....but it has to end.... we need to start speaking up.

https://www.nairaland.com/6866901/neglect-boy-child-need-speak#107947679

It is a joyful thing that after I made that post alot of people were in support of we actually speaking up for boy child in this country....infact I got a mail from someone who actually planning on doing this awareness on big platform which is commendable.

Like I said this isn't meant to cause a gender war but to let us see imbalance in laws and society norms which is causing problems.

Today in the country everyone is actually doing everything possible to protect the girl child from molestion and rape but we forget young boys too experience it......let me give a clear example of the one we all see but don't care.....alot of ladies when they bath there junior one play with there penis..but can a man do that to a girl child??

There a particular day I was in a hang out and we had a discussion about our childhood and believe me almost every guy had an experience of one anuty molesting them sexually as a minor....although we all laughed about.
This affect on us but we might not know it.....we were expose to sex as minor which affect our psychology.

In other to create the awareness i think we men need to start sharing how experiences so women can understand that this thing is across board but maybe lower on our side but that doesn't we should down play it.

Let help the boy child by telling our stories so we can use it as a documentary to push this awareness to the right authorities..

Today we want to talk about rape and molestation.....please if you have any experience of molestation or rape as a man/boy kindly share.

FutureIsFemale:
You talking about low integrity when they 'men' don't even have integrity.

I see no reason why a man would withdraw a girl from school. Carry her to tour the world just to gain the attention of the public.
Got her pregnant. Went to see her parent for introduction then dump the girl.

I can't see the logic behind this. It shows zero integrity.

Got her pregnantthis sentence is the most shallow/brainless in human existence when spoken.

So if he found out she has some characters he can't cope with isn't it better he walk out of the relationship than being abusive toward her.

Stop this victim mentality.....ladies dump guys too it is a two way street.

Lalasticlala please help push to front page.

Angela62:
Not until I gave birth to my son and started raising them, before I understood the kinds of challenges the male child faces. Society is built on the false premise that women have challenges only, and men are the cause if it. So therefore, male child are ignored. Before I use to tout anything female, but now, I can see that it's not a good approach because both gender suffer.

But I ask myself, after developing and elevating women, will they date and marry themselves? Isn't the same men that society ignored and don't want to invest upon will be their future husband, Co workers, pastors and much more? You can't tell me you love women and want to help them, why refusing to help men, same men that the majority of female happiness comes from. The earlier we open our eyes to the bigger picture, the better for all of us.

Thanks for this ma......we need good mothers like u to keep on putting this out there.

God bless you and your boys.

Ow0eg0kudi:
Hmmmm @Godoverevery

Except if you choose to swim against the tide...nature has created the female gender to be nurtured, especially by the male gender hence the results of your research.

Save in exceptional cases, there is something in a man that wants to pamper and give a TCL to a woman.

I'll enjoin to accept the fact that it is a law of the universe, just like gravitational pull, that YOU cannot change except God (who is over every) chooses to reinvent the wheels.


E kú research . . .don't be an online professor but please ensure it is published in a journal��

Alright I will try to do that sir.

After doing alot of research online to see if UNICEF or Government really care about a boy child..... i found out nobody cares.

This a thread to let female folks understand the hate towards them now isn't something that just pop up from nowhere but more psychological which is cause by neglect from society and harsh laws toward men.

There are several millions of campaigns in every part of the world towards fighting for the girl child....infact there are millions of activist fighting everyday for this agenda but no one is talking about the boy child.

We talk about rape,molestation,child marriage etc which are very bad toward the girl child but what about child labour which is actually what most boys up north face everyday.
Does it means mothers don't love there son?? or they feel is right for a boy to be on the street survivaling on his own from tender age of 10??

Are we saying having little boys doing labour in site, boy soldiers in war zone,sleeping on the street, going through molestation in hands of there oga etc is a lesser evil compare to rape,child marriage etc.

Everyone talks about what a girl child pass through in the north but not for one day has anyone spoken about what boys are facing which is much more......a boy of 5yrs in the north is on the street already doing various things to survive infact he can even be taking money to his mother and sisters to feed.....some are taken by boko haram forced into fighting a war.

We all talk about chibok girls but no one has talked about some boys book haram kidnapped years back and force them to join the war...those who were not willing to join were executed instantly.

Am not trying to bring a gender war here am just trying to bring this to people mind...the likes of tonto dike, iyabo ojo etc who have sons should also speak up for the boy child....isn't only the girl child that needs protection.

There are several laws created everyday to protect the female gender all over the world even absurd ones (like Ronaldinho paying 13k £ to a ex gf every month as maintenance fee) which is a Brazilian law and Canada is also trying to pass the same law.....how won't this cause hate??

Even though most of this laws are created by fellow men who i think are just simply foolish but ladies need not to exploit it..

Government of the world need to create laws to protect men/boy as well.

Things need to change else this hate will keep on increasing...government and society need to start advocating the boy child rights too so this feel of ño one cares which is transforming to hate towards female gender will stop.

The same way we are condemning rape of minors and child marriages let condemn child labour, boy soldiers, let condemn why the society feel comfortable with seeing minor boys on the streets.

Let speak up for boy child aswell.

I guess there aren't feminist in Brazil...

Like I always say men are just born to suffer in this world......paying 13k � every month to someone who is probably in another relationship already.

Maintenance fee indeed.......why not just call it the real name Liability fee.

Ex collecting monthly salary from me because of one absurd law.....I will rather leave that country and renounce my citizenship.

Gaabasky:
To be frank he really lay down the foundation.

Lagos was a mess before 1999. Though the process started from Marwa but Tinubu catalysed the development.
Lagos had ports and alot before but it was a serious messed up state.

I was born grown up. The only better area in Lagos as at them was V I and some part of Ikoyi. Others was dirty

Surulere wasn't dirty bro.....I doubt if really grew up in lagos for you to only mention ikoyi and VI as the only place clean then.

I can mention more than 6 place in lagos that was really cool then apart form those two.

Favfables1:
There's something called loyalty you know...

And besides...

If the cases were reversed....

That man will be called all sorts of names for not "sticking" with his fiancee during trying times...

It always amaze me if the reverse was the case and everyone called the guy wicked.

A lady left a guy she dated for 4yrs cause she felt he wasn't ready (financially) for another man....everyone told the guy to move on bla bla bla (time isn't on her side)...
"no one talked about her wasting the guy time ooo"

Now if a guy should leave a lady he dated for 4yrs cause he feels she wasn't ready (jobless) for another lady who he feel is better.......we all know how it will go.

Why the double standard.......what is so annoying is you will see some foolish men supporting this double standard.

I know we have lot of weak men this days.

You are meant to learn from other people mistake.


No woman is worth fighting for .....(except only your mother)

Sonnobax15:

Marriage isn't for the faint-hearted...But I strongly believe everything about sexxx is highly overrated . Na who never collect from the side effects of over lashing dey sing praises about am

We are different bro....alway have that in mind.

Sex isn't overrated at all......it is the biggest pleasure God created for human.

padi94:
Waeponising sex is wrong[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]

They have two weapon they use.

Not cooking for the man.

And denying man sex.

The moment they see this weapon doesn't affect the man they turn it to he is having an affair outside.
Lol

Lilsameey:
Nawaoooo, all this marriage shit I dey hear lately don dey make me fear to marry. God airpus sha

Selfishness and lack of sacrifices is killing marriage.

Men are seriously feeling cheated....is like the whole design is actually meant to favour women.

https://www.nairaland.com/6858105/sex-starved-husband#107773729

After going through that post on front page with people replies I realised most time is not actually the women fault but we men.

This a clear case of a woman weaponiasing sex to her advantage.
She only wants it when she feel like
She uses it to blackmail you into doing things she wants.
Is very funny to see a married man advising the OP in that thread to try and always make her happy or be buying her things..(so you have to bribe your wife everytime to have sex with you).

No one like rejection especially sexual rejection.....alot of men are experiencing it because they are WEAK.....we have lot of WEAK men this days.
The moment a woman sense you are soft or weak as a man then you doomed.....if she knows you are a no BS taker there are somethings she wouldn't try.

If you as man think your duty first is to always make your wife happy then you are doomed as a man...she will never care about your happiness....that why this days we are seeing lot of men complaining.....Alot of men make this mistake from on set of letting her have her way in most things.
Choice of food is her decision
Where to hang or visit her decision
When to have sex her decision etc...trying to be a gentleman BS...she knows she has you in her purse nah.

If your wife can weaponiase sex against you then you are a weak man because you should be able to reject her aswell anytime she want it....that the checkmate.

Women hate rejection....if she feels sex is only meant to happen anytime is convenient for her then you are also meant to be available when is convenient for you

Note: Men never make sacrifices or inconvenient yourself for anyone/woman who won't do same in return.
Being a strong man isn't about violence or be hard on her....is just being mentally stronger to understand the game she playing and beating her to the game.

If she reject you tonight.....the next day you got her a gift and all of a sudden she isn't tired to have sex....if you continue doing that...Bro you are a very big fool.
Making sacrifices is one of the major thing that hold any marriage or relationship.....you must be able/willing to do things that are extremely not convenient for each other.

BRATISLAVA:
Bring your statistics.

Ooo did you have the stat to back your claim of all men are sex felons??

BRATISLAVA:
The excuse of it's the kind of men you meet is getting old. Who are the people perpetrating such acts if not Nigerian men? The tooth fairy?

Is it that you're in denial of the normal daily headlines? Or you are waiting to meet such dirty men to know they exist? Maybe if a gay man turns that Nigerian men charm on you, you will feel otherwise.

Only the truly unfortunate person here will deny statistics and work with sentiment rather than facts. You can't even address the issue head on, rather diverting here and there.

Most Nigerian men are sex felons.

What you said is a fact....can you see most guys ain't arguing with you...infact most guys are calling him all sort of name.
We don't defend such behaviour.

I have marked ur moniker the day any guy make a general statement about you ladies which is a fact and you try to exclude yourself......(hmmm) drop mic.