₦airaland Forum

SMH. The society has made u believe men don't love or can't care for their children.tragedy. I hope u not r man n u bcom a father somday then u will truly understand wot it is to b a man

Officialgarri:
All because of Ego.

I still don't know what a man can do for a child in the absence of their mother's care and attention.

Ok fine, he gets the child and then what? Hand them over to another woman...

I would gladly leave children with their mother except she's abusive or promiscuous

Dude I understand your pain but hey that's what love is really is - love is pain. Forget what a few a telling that it's about your ego,there's no harm there it's natural to feel dat way same y a woman feel wen u av had dem or c there unclothedness dats y they r woman n y we r human.
Bro u need to take charge not aggressive dude but in 15yrs u shud understand how to run a home unless if u failed in u duty now u r reaping d fruit of u fail ability.
If u can com bak from work n do d chores what stops d lady from doing same which is r primary role at home.evrn if she's d breadwinner the best player in team mustn't b d captain. It's wisdom dat u r d head but nrva abuse d position.
I no how difficult for men with their children mos don't no how much we really attached to dem n hurts inside but cos u love them am sori u will beats dis n hope n pray she c tins differently. Truth is marriage is tuff n probably overrated but u av to not a must but its a gift no human shud pass by

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

Complete olodo and the op said the person is frugal,so much for frugality.
Guy use you brain and change your life style,u can do tangible stuffs with that 400k cut out all the excesses n fats from u life.
Number 1 rule your house rent shud neva b more that 25% of your annual pay NEVER. Get an inverter save on gen repair n fuel,may u car too that why u go with fuel efficient economy car dats y people buy corrola n the like. Wake up dude
You r actually living a luxurious life if u look at 9ja standard.

Emmanuel909090:
How can one differentiate between a fool and a foolish fool.

Because i see your foolish friend as a foolishly foolish wasteful fool.

Em mates dea build house with 200k salary he is lavishing his future.

Can i see him, i will love to forget black label bottle on his head, olodo.

Sorry please natural immunity are acquired by default becos it's natural doesn't meant its not acquired. A baby acquired his or her immunity from his/her parent. Through vagina birth,breast feeding these are ways the child acquire immunity. So as the baby grows expose to germs n microbes the child now independently develop this immunity. That's how we have been wired by God,these y they are called natural. Immunizations is to help the baby as the child is still vulnerable, it's like leaving an adult n a baby out in the cold the baby will died that's y the parent is there to protect the child.
Now for any sane person to discard natural immunity is like playing God. Humans av evolved and survive diseases by natural immunity and any1 now downplaying nature is criminal. Yes u take the vaccines which are in truth not really vaccine what they basically do is reduce hospitalizations and its symptoms. In effect vaccinated pple a basically asymptomatic c19 carrier that can still b infected n transfers. Furthermore becos d vaccine ain't nature they wane within months.
Plus the survival rate is still 99.7,the whole c19 is a total political mess that has muddle the truth and its forcing pple to question it,nothing wrong here that's what every reasonable humans shud do as u owe it to usef to ask.

jikins:
You have to understand what natural immunity is for you to understand their point of view. Natural immunity is the immunity you are born with. If you aren't naturally immune against covid 19 which is the general case for majority of humans, you will get the virus. Now the degree of the symptoms you get will depend on the strength of your immune system and if it is compromised by other underlying conditions like asthma, diabetes, HIV, age and the likes.

So natural immunity is pretty much useless as it is very rare. What we can get now is acquired immunity, which you can get after recovering from covid as your body will start producing antibodies against it or through vaccines which helps your body produce antibodies before getting infected.

Hope I have broken it down for you.

Leave this people that are calling other asking questions conspiracy theorists. Sometin doesn't add up n it's on logical u probe but it's no longer allowed SMH. Since when u take vaccine n after 6-8 months u go take booster. Since wen u take vaccine u r afraid of the unvaccinated?u are vaccinated u still wear mask,u can still b infected n transfer it. Only advantage is reduce hospitalizations n symptoms dats what they are telling us is d new definition of vaccine n u r not support to ask questions, y is d definition changing. Since wen artificial immunity now supercedes natural immunity?this is insane n we r not suppose to ask questions.

themanderon:
If vaccination truly works then why bother yourself about the unvaccinated? I thought the risk is exclusively theirs? Or does the vaccinated still need to be afraid of the virus? There is surely something someone is not telling us.

Gbam! GOD BLESS U.

[/quote]quote author=htdot post=105709416]
Unvaccinated person too can have the virus without being hospitalized or die if he/she does not have any underlying illness. Those unvaccinated who die have underlying illness.

Am sori,how is God not fair to the blacks race. He basically gave us the most productive environment flowing with milk n Hot. Weather is superb but the blacks r the laziest race always point finger dat its som1 else fault.,neva accept responsibility. How is it God's fault pls?

Demigod22:
When Jesus said it is finished,He was actually referring to Nigeria. If God truly exist then God is not fair to the black race.

So it hasn't occur to you that he is a sadist.

Definition of sadist
: one characterized by sadism : a person who takes pleasure in inflicting pain, punishment, or humiliation on others

seanjy4konji:
Idiotic man...

useless spineless president...

To opress and contribute/ sponsor jihadist and bandits is only what he loves most..

what he gains in the pains of Nigerians is what i dont know...

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At this rate I suppose all men shud just relocate to Afghanistan as it seems it nirvana/heaven for men.
When you see those afghan images it's only the woman that are jumping the fence,crowding the air port,hanging on planes. That place must b such a blissful place for all men to live. Men can only dream

HolinessForever:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9912461/amp/Taliban-fighters-set-woman-fire-bad-cooking.html

We are subsidizing for the rich?really?seriously?i mean a Nigeria with half a brain could believe this. The world head-quarter of poverty, what is the number of rich people in ratio with total populace of Nigeria?
real live scenario i use to spend average 2k on my lil corrola per week now i spend 4k, my friend doesnt own a car he use to spend around 5k on his generator at home now he spends about 9k per week. my other friend use to buy 500 fuel in his generator like most nit for his family now he spends 1k per night.
oga hope you are seeing the picture of how they have bin subsidizing the rich abi. now imagine increase to 300, u dont have govt manage transport system, you dont av water, you dont have lit even that is extremely high, you salaries are obviously not increasing, dollar is astronomically sic. and you have a notoriously wicked govt and you believe they have you in mind . even the palliative was giving to them free to distribute to the citizens that are hungry what happened to it?
I pity some people sha, i guess we get use to suffering n smiling. still some compare us to chad,somolia,cameroon when we know we are constantly comparing our sef with US its a tragedy. its like riding a bike and u are comparing yoursef to a cripple (no disrespect here).
something is wrong with us Nigeria,something is just not right.
Next level joor

amc:
The average Nigerian doesn’t own a car, so we have been subsidising the rich at the expense of the poor who are denied well needed investment in things like education, healthcare and infrastructure.

It will be hard in the short term but the populace would start to see the many benefits in the medium to long term. We are wasting too much scare resources for on this subsidy and there is too much corruption involved with smuggling of our PMS to neighbouring countries where PMS is sold at higher prices.

When are they going to start publishing malaria daily death n infection pls?
They jus throw up figures no stat behind it,how does a sensible human work with this. 1000 infected 50 dead n that's all,who believes thats. At least there's a method to the madness in the west n that's what's informing most of their decisions. If coro is so deadly at list one third of lagos shud av bin gone by now. Som say most are asymptomatic then what's the difference between the vaccinated dat are virtually asymptomatic too.
Coro is real but not as deadly to us d stat is there for all to c,the west know this just that they too r still confuse at the moment.every thing na experiment now,trial n error

Dyt:
636 New COVID-19 Cases, 149 Discharged And 11 Deaths On August 13


https://www.facebook.com/1042952012434488/posts/4583274718402182/

How can a thinking human being take advise from the west on how to raise a child with what you see and hear that is happening over there - it's scare. There is a difference between intelligence n wisdom.
The bible didn't say abuse the child it says spare the rod n spoil the child n that's the truth dat can't b disputed. The Bible even dislike u treating your animals cruelly let alone your child.
I gues u don't have children n u probably believe
what you read. You cant separate love from justice

My people if the offense warranty you flogging pls do but DONT ABUSE the child,ibeg its for you own good not just the child,

WoundedLamb:
That's actually a figurative statement. If hitting kids with rod makes them better adults, Africa would have been producing the best humans. I believe a child raised without being hit like an animal has a higher tendency of being honest, open and compassionate.

Yea obviously there is a few thing u can pick from the article but at its core it wrong.

Spare the rod spoil the child only someone that doesn't av the experience will argue with that statement.

Pls pls don't take this article serious ooo

Dannyset:
Positive discipline for better mental and physical health and a happy childhood.

There are no bad children, only bad behaviour.




How to discipline your child the smart and healthy way.

There comes a time when every parent struggles with how best to discipline their child. Whether dealing with a screaming toddler or an angry teen, it can be hard to control your temper. No parent wants to find themselves in such a situation and the bottom line is that shouting and physical violence never help.
Thankfully, there are other, more effective ways and one of them is positive discipline. We consulted Lucie Cluver, Oxford University professor of Child and Family Social Work and mother of two young boys, to explore how the approach can help parents build positive relationships with their children and teach skills like responsibility, cooperation and self-discipline.


Why positive discipline?

“Parents don't want to shout or hit their kids. We do it because we're stressed and don't see another way,” says Professor Cluver.
The evidence is clear: shouting and hitting simply do not work and can do more harm than good in the long run. Repeated shouting and hitting can even adversely impact a child’s entire life. The continued “toxic stress” it creates can lead to a host of negative outcomes like higher chances of school dropout, depression, drug use, suicide and heart disease.
“It’s like saying: here's this medicine, it's not going to help you and it's going to make you sick,” says Professor Cluver. “When we know something doesn't work, that's a pretty good reason to look for a different approach.”

Rather than punishment and what not to do, the positive discipline approach puts an emphasis on developing a healthy relationship with your child and setting expectations around behaviour. The good news for every parent is it works and here’s how you can start putting it into practice:

1. Plan 1-on-1 time

One-on-one time is important for building any good relationship and even more so with your children. “It can be 20 minutes a day. Or even 5 minutes. You can combine it with something like washing dishes together while you sing a song or chatting while you're hanging out the washing,” says Professor Cluver. “What's really important is that you focus on your child. So, you turn your TV off, you turn your phone off, you get to their level and it's you and them.”


2. Praise the positives

As parents we often focus on our children’s bad behaviour and call it out. Children may read this as a way to get your attention, perpetuating poor conduct rather than putting a stop to it.
Children thrive on praise. It makes them feel loved and special. “Watch out for when they're doing something good and praise them, even if that thing is just playing for five minutes with their sibling,” recommends Professor Cluver. “This can encourage good behaviour and reduce the need for discipline.”


3. Set clear expectations

“Telling your child exactly what you want them to do is much more effective than telling them what not to do,” says Professor Cluver. “When you ask a child to not make a mess, or to be good, they don't necessarily understand what they're required to do.” Clear instructions like “Please pick up all of your toys and put them in the box” set a clear expectation and increase the likelihood that they'll do what you’re asking.
“But it's important to set realistic expectations. Asking them to stay quiet for a whole day may not be as manageable as asking for 10 minutes of quiet time while you have a phone call,” says Professor Cluver. “You know what your child is capable of. But if you ask for the impossible, they are going to fail.”

4. Distract creatively

When your child is being difficult, distracting them with a more positive activity can be a useful strategy says Professor Cluver. “When you distract them towards something else – by changing the topic, introducing a game, leading them into another room, or going for a walk, you can successfully divert their energy towards positive behaviour.”

Timing is also crucial. Distraction is also about spotting when things are about to go wrong and taking action. Being mindful of when your child is starting to become fidgety, irritable or annoyed, or when two siblings are eyeing the same toy, can help diffuse a potential situation before it becomes one.


5. Use calm consequences

Part of growing up is learning that if you do something, something can happen as a result. Defining this for your child is a simple process that encourages better behaviour while teaching them about responsibility.

Give your child a chance to do the right thing by explaining the consequences of their bad behaviour. As an example, if you want your child to stop scribbling on the walls, you can tell them to stop or else you will end their play time. This provides them with a warning and an opportunity to change their behaviour.

If they don’t stop, follow through with the consequences calmly and without showing anger, “and give yourself credit for that – it’s not easy!” adds Professor Cluver.
If they do stop, give them lots of praise for it, recommends Professor Cluver. “What you are doing is creating a positive feedback loop for your child. Calm consequences have been shown to be effective for kids to learn about what happens when they behave badly.”

Being consistent is a key factor in positive parenting, which is why following through with the consequences is important. And so is making them realistic. “You can take a teenager's phone away for an hour but taking it away for a week might be difficult to follow through on.”


Engaging with younger children

One-on-one time can be fun – and it’s completely free! “You can copy their expressions, bang spoons against pots, or sing together,” adds Professor Cluver. “There’s amazing research showing that playing with your children boosts their brain development.”


Engaging with older children

Like younger children, teenagers seek praise and want to be thought of as good. One-on-one time is still important to them. “They love it if you dance around the room with them or engage in a conversation about their favourite singer,” says Professor Cluver. “They may not always show it, but they do. And, it's an effective way of building a relationship on their terms.”

While setting expectations, “ask them to help make some of the rules,” suggests Professor Cluver. “Sit them down and try to agree on the household dos and don'ts. They can also help decide what the consequences for unacceptable behaviour will be. Being involved in the process helps them know that you understand they're becoming their own independent beings.”


Advice for parents during the COVID-19 pandemic

The pandemic has brought about sudden and drastic changes in the lives of families with parents directly in the middle of it. Here are some tips that can help parents get through these and any other stressful times:


1. Pause

We all know the stress when we feel our child is being difficult. At moments like these, being present and stepping back is a simple and useful tactic. Hit the “pause button”, as Professor Cluver calls it. “Take five deep breaths, slowly and carefully and you'll notice you are able to respond in a calmer, more considered way. Parents across the world say that just taking that pause is enormously helpful.”


2. Step back

Parents often forget to care for themselves, says Professor Cluver. “Take some time for yourself, such as when the kids are asleep, to do something that makes you feel happy and calm. It's really hard to do all the things right as a parent, when you haven't given yourself a break.”


3. Praise yourself
It’s easy to forget the as tonishing job you do as a parent every day and you should give yourself the credit, advises Professor Cluver. “Each day, maybe while brushing your teeth, take a moment to ask: ‘What was one thing I did really well with my kids today?’ And, just know that you did something great.”

“We might be in and out of isolation, but you are absolutely not alone,” she says. “Millions of parents across the world are all trying and we're all failing sometimes. And then we're trying again. We’ll survive this together.”

https://www.unicef.org/parenting/child-care/how-discipline-your-child-smart-and-healthy-way

nice one

WibusJaga:
At this point, all of you still mocking Arsenal should ask God for forgiveness. It's like mocking a cripple.

nice very true

sunshineV:
nigeria is a crime scene

So? because they are asymptomatic is bad abi? Being vaccinated doesn't stop u from getting infected n spreading it. So what's the different pls reorient us ejoor

Yong4ever:
. You really need a reorientation, don't be deceived, many people have it without being symptomatic hence they transmit it, if you don't go for test you can't confirm it.

Thanks i appreciate your response.

We all understand the drugs are cheaper, treatable and measure to mitigate it but 95000 death if that's not beyond alarm and need urgent attention i don't or cant see what. does it mean 95000 death doesn't matter cost its treatable? However, our (Nigeria) discharged rate on covid is massive massive success when you compare to death rate (thumbs up for you guys). so how are you guys treating them? though we keep hearing its not curable or treatable.

"Malaria deaths reduced from about 400 000 in 2010 to about 260 000 in 2018, the largest reduction being in Nigeria, from almost 153 000 deaths in 2010 to about 95 000 deaths in 2018" https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/world-malaria-report-2019

So why the hype of covid (even within the medical and frontline guys like yourself) when something else is killing Nigerians more?

Beancounter94:
Well

1. Malaria drugs are.cheap

2. Insecticide treated nets are widely available free of charge

3. Malaria is treatable

4. You need to go into politics and ask your goverment the questions needed about how it spends money

5. There have been numerous public health campaigns on malaria

6. Malaria does not kill many people as it should in Nigeria becausemost people are immune in some way to it.

Don't ask me about money. I'm not in goverment. I just do my job. You do your job and ask your poloticans how they spend money. Join a party or form one. Do the hard job called democracy

Good morning.

Hello Frontline health worker, how many malaria positive you record per day in your hospital and the number of death let say this year from malaria.
Nigeria government just allocated is it 36billion to fight "third wave" - for me there has never been any wave looking at the official death figure let say 3000 since last year march. How many Nigerian have died from malaria between that same time. If federal put that 36billion into fighting malaria and mosquito wont we have seen progress or decrease in infection and death http://saharareporters.com/2019/12/05/nigeria-has-highest-rate-malaria-globally-who

Why was/is malaria treated with same attention as covid at the moment in Nigeria?

Beancounter94:
I work as a frontline health worker. At my hospital , we had to refer three covid positive patients to a treatment center last week. Infact, I just got a whatsapp message yesterday informing me that one of the patients died.

The patient that died just got worse and worse. When he was at my working place, we threw everything at him. Antibiotics, ivermectin, zinc, etc. Nothing worked.

I also know at least two family friends who have died of covid ...AND in one of those cases, the entire family had to go into quarantine. I also have treated a patient who may have died from covid (she met the clinical description, but died before we could test) recently

I have also had colleagues go into quarantine for covid as well over the past year.

The thing is real. Effing real. And the reason why you don't see a case or think it is fake is because less than 200000 Nigerians have tested positive out of our 200 million people. I hope it stays that low.

Good morning, and thanks for insulting me. May God bless you in return

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Dedication,determination and discipline.

No pain No gain

It's a lot of conflicting info out there,yes it reduces hospitalizations and the severity of the disease which is actually the goals of these "vaccines" but it doesn't stop you from getting infected nor spreading it. In effect it make the person asymptomatic. Same condition your average Nigerian has but they fear that you could be spreading it unknowingly.
People still die of the disease even when fully vaccinated the reduced number. In essence,its not a silver bullet but it jus to manage hospitalizations rate. There are even cases in Whitehouse now of fully vaccinated staff but won't make the news properly jus do your research.
Do we need "vaccine" here I would say no Mayb for the elderly n vulnerable cos obviously it's not deadly here it's a FACT(1 and half yeàr living with it here in 9ja confirms that unless you need a decade to confirm it)

omonla10:
I'll like to know the infection rates in well vaccinated countries. Cos I haven't been convinced about the usefulness of these vaccinations

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jizzison:
How much for your Nintendo 3DS?

Truth be told I really don't disagree with what you wrote,it may actual b the solution to our problem as we are trying to fit oursef to a system that basically n obviously not working for us.
Anyway Nigeria govt has every right to regulate whoeva operate witin it's space. Twitter has its policies as well

4Play:
You have the traditional "African" mentality that dates back to the pre-colonial era of seeing our leaders as ennobled beings sitting on their thrones and entitled to respect, like our traditional kings/monarchs/rulers.

A president in the 21st century is a public servant, or at least ought to be, and the utterances of a public servant should not be inflammatory or be capable of being interpreted as promoting genocide/human rights violation.

To suggest that the Americans should become more like us in the standards they hold their presidency to is profoundly ignorant. If you want to apply ancient African standards, then remove all the vestiges of Western-style governance - stop calling the head of state "president" and choose a title like Emir or Sarduana, abolish the constitution and stop holding elections. That way we know we have a traditional king who deserves to be "respected" by all and sundry and who can say what he wants in any medium.

Am sorry if American collectively disrespect their president it's their choice not a standard.
What they did is wrong pls don't allow your dislike or hatred cloud our judgement.

4Play:
Twitter censored Trump's tweets whilst he was President....the most powerful political office in the world. There was no talk of the US government banning Twitter as a result.

The Nigerian government hasn't even investigated or detained Miyetti Allah members for incendiary statements, it's a social media platform they are tackling.

100% with you.
U cant slap your landlord and expect continue stay. Twitter has their rules fine so is Nigeria (sorry that we collectively select(not elect o) Buhari as our president but that's the reality - e dey pain me badly)

seunmsg:
It is a serious aberration. Sadly, people are only looking at it from the prism of their hatred for Buhari. Censoring the speech of an elected president in another country should never be allowed.

I guess few people don't really get where u r comin from. Yea I dislike Buhari as much as the next person,persnally I think Buhari is among one of world top 1000(bin generous here) dullest human,he is exceptional dull.but we shudnt let our judgement b clouded cos of celestial failure.
I don't tink u can abuse your landlord/mall owner and expect u continue stay or doing biz in same place. U av to play by the rule of the owner or u move to a diff house or mall.
Personal I don't think twitter shud ban or delete any president in the world comment but flag it or put sometin on it. It's dey personal biz n rules same right the landlord/mall owner has as u(twitter) has to obey too.
If u don't wan to deal wit landlord shit u go build u own house.
Twitter has every rit to disagree with the president but wit respect. Twitter shudnt delete any president comment witout @the least reaching out to them.

Just my personal take

omonnakoda:
What is democracy
Twitter is a business
Twitter is not democracy
Are Nigerians present on the Board of twitter? How many?
I would say the same thing for Jonathan, Obasanjo or Abacha

Twitter should not censor the president of Nigeria and if it chooses to do so it should be kicked out of Nigeria. That s the African way

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Luckydubby7:
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Fallacy at its best.

What has the so call education done to human, the stat is obvious moral decadence everywhere why then still stick to somtin that obvoiusly is not working - its a fact.

Please donot introduce to your child at any age but always guide and be observant - the mind is a curious beast. You just be the best parent you could ever be, live responsibly, treat your hubby or wife with respect and always correct your child when he/she is wrong if you need to flog you have to. Pray as you have put in the work already and hope grace of God guide them. that the best you can do never introduce any Sex education o ejoor

JudgeKronos:
None....

Sex education is a fallacy.

In fact, the moment you tell a child the do(s) and don’t(s) about adulthood, na that time he or she will like to experiment the don’t(s) especially this uncircumcised generation....

There is a time in everyone’s life when he/she will turn into what he/she will become......

When that time comes there’s nothing you as a parent can do to stop him/her.

Doyin Okupe comes to mind..... my apologies for mentioning a name... but let the message be passed..

Do your best as a father/mother ....... the rest is an unpredictable phenomenon.

My one cent .

He is right,he said "evolutionary responsibility". The woman sit @the top of animal evolution look @her reproductive organ. The society may have define Dez roles but God himsef did define the roles in d bible unles if u don't blive in the bible which is understandable. Social animal by default av defined roles for the good of the colony - go read about ants,bee,termites etc.
Advance human, yeah, dat means no define role den.strangely in office there are define roles that one or u can't challenge. There are things woman does beta dan men n likewise men dan woman.
Also I think his rit about expecting a lot from a woman. Gues dats y u av a lot of so called men complain they r actually immature.

Jman06:
All I see in your post above are so much generalization with no sound logic to back up your claims. Who told you that the evolutionary responsibility of women is just to birth and nurture If that is the case, then we can as well say that the evolutionary responsibility of men is to impregnate women.

There's no assigned responsibility for any gender outside the natural reproductive roles. It is humans of old that assigned roles based on their limited knowledge at the early times. Now, we advanced humans have seen that some roles that were hitherto considered gender specific can actually be done equally by both genders. So, in order to ensure a better and more egalitarian world, we now encourage gender equality and unlimited exploration of the potentials embedded within the female gender for greater good of society.