₦airaland Forum

Dyt:
636 New COVID-19 Cases, 149 Discharged And 11 Deaths On August 13


https://www.facebook.com/1042952012434488/posts/4583274718402182/

WoundedLamb:
That's actually a figurative statement. If hitting kids with rod makes them better adults, Africa would have been producing the best humans. I believe a child raised without being hit like an animal has a higher tendency of being honest, open and compassionate.

Dannyset:
Positive discipline for better mental and physical health and a happy childhood.

There are no bad children, only bad behaviour.




How to discipline your child the smart and healthy way.

There comes a time when every parent struggles with how best to discipline their child. Whether dealing with a screaming toddler or an angry teen, it can be hard to control your temper. No parent wants to find themselves in such a situation and the bottom line is that shouting and physical violence never help.
Thankfully, there are other, more effective ways and one of them is positive discipline. We consulted Lucie Cluver, Oxford University professor of Child and Family Social Work and mother of two young boys, to explore how the approach can help parents build positive relationships with their children and teach skills like responsibility, cooperation and self-discipline.


Why positive discipline?

“Parents don't want to shout or hit their kids. We do it because we're stressed and don't see another way,” says Professor Cluver.
The evidence is clear: shouting and hitting simply do not work and can do more harm than good in the long run. Repeated shouting and hitting can even adversely impact a child’s entire life. The continued “toxic stress” it creates can lead to a host of negative outcomes like higher chances of school dropout, depression, drug use, suicide and heart disease.
“It’s like saying: here's this medicine, it's not going to help you and it's going to make you sick,” says Professor Cluver. “When we know something doesn't work, that's a pretty good reason to look for a different approach.”

Rather than punishment and what not to do, the positive discipline approach puts an emphasis on developing a healthy relationship with your child and setting expectations around behaviour. The good news for every parent is it works and here’s how you can start putting it into practice:

1. Plan 1-on-1 time

One-on-one time is important for building any good relationship and even more so with your children. “It can be 20 minutes a day. Or even 5 minutes. You can combine it with something like washing dishes together while you sing a song or chatting while you're hanging out the washing,” says Professor Cluver. “What's really important is that you focus on your child. So, you turn your TV off, you turn your phone off, you get to their level and it's you and them.”


2. Praise the positives

As parents we often focus on our children’s bad behaviour and call it out. Children may read this as a way to get your attention, perpetuating poor conduct rather than putting a stop to it.
Children thrive on praise. It makes them feel loved and special. “Watch out for when they're doing something good and praise them, even if that thing is just playing for five minutes with their sibling,” recommends Professor Cluver. “This can encourage good behaviour and reduce the need for discipline.”


3. Set clear expectations

“Telling your child exactly what you want them to do is much more effective than telling them what not to do,” says Professor Cluver. “When you ask a child to not make a mess, or to be good, they don't necessarily understand what they're required to do.” Clear instructions like “Please pick up all of your toys and put them in the box” set a clear expectation and increase the likelihood that they'll do what you’re asking.
“But it's important to set realistic expectations. Asking them to stay quiet for a whole day may not be as manageable as asking for 10 minutes of quiet time while you have a phone call,” says Professor Cluver. “You know what your child is capable of. But if you ask for the impossible, they are going to fail.”

4. Distract creatively

When your child is being difficult, distracting them with a more positive activity can be a useful strategy says Professor Cluver. “When you distract them towards something else – by changing the topic, introducing a game, leading them into another room, or going for a walk, you can successfully divert their energy towards positive behaviour.”

Timing is also crucial. Distraction is also about spotting when things are about to go wrong and taking action. Being mindful of when your child is starting to become fidgety, irritable or annoyed, or when two siblings are eyeing the same toy, can help diffuse a potential situation before it becomes one.


5. Use calm consequences

Part of growing up is learning that if you do something, something can happen as a result. Defining this for your child is a simple process that encourages better behaviour while teaching them about responsibility.

Give your child a chance to do the right thing by explaining the consequences of their bad behaviour. As an example, if you want your child to stop scribbling on the walls, you can tell them to stop or else you will end their play time. This provides them with a warning and an opportunity to change their behaviour.

If they don’t stop, follow through with the consequences calmly and without showing anger, “and give yourself credit for that – it’s not easy!” adds Professor Cluver.
If they do stop, give them lots of praise for it, recommends Professor Cluver. “What you are doing is creating a positive feedback loop for your child. Calm consequences have been shown to be effective for kids to learn about what happens when they behave badly.”

Being consistent is a key factor in positive parenting, which is why following through with the consequences is important. And so is making them realistic. “You can take a teenager's phone away for an hour but taking it away for a week might be difficult to follow through on.”


Engaging with younger children

One-on-one time can be fun – and it’s completely free! “You can copy their expressions, bang spoons against pots, or sing together,” adds Professor Cluver. “There’s amazing research showing that playing with your children boosts their brain development.”


Engaging with older children

Like younger children, teenagers seek praise and want to be thought of as good. One-on-one time is still important to them. “They love it if you dance around the room with them or engage in a conversation about their favourite singer,” says Professor Cluver. “They may not always show it, but they do. And, it's an effective way of building a relationship on their terms.”

While setting expectations, “ask them to help make some of the rules,” suggests Professor Cluver. “Sit them down and try to agree on the household dos and don'ts. They can also help decide what the consequences for unacceptable behaviour will be. Being involved in the process helps them know that you understand they're becoming their own independent beings.”


Advice for parents during the COVID-19 pandemic

The pandemic has brought about sudden and drastic changes in the lives of families with parents directly in the middle of it. Here are some tips that can help parents get through these and any other stressful times:


1. Pause

We all know the stress when we feel our child is being difficult. At moments like these, being present and stepping back is a simple and useful tactic. Hit the “pause button”, as Professor Cluver calls it. “Take five deep breaths, slowly and carefully and you'll notice you are able to respond in a calmer, more considered way. Parents across the world say that just taking that pause is enormously helpful.”


2. Step back

Parents often forget to care for themselves, says Professor Cluver. “Take some time for yourself, such as when the kids are asleep, to do something that makes you feel happy and calm. It's really hard to do all the things right as a parent, when you haven't given yourself a break.”


3. Praise yourself
It’s easy to forget the as tonishing job you do as a parent every day and you should give yourself the credit, advises Professor Cluver. “Each day, maybe while brushing your teeth, take a moment to ask: ‘What was one thing I did really well with my kids today?’ And, just know that you did something great.”

“We might be in and out of isolation, but you are absolutely not alone,” she says. “Millions of parents across the world are all trying and we're all failing sometimes. And then we're trying again. We’ll survive this together.”

https://www.unicef.org/parenting/child-care/how-discipline-your-child-smart-and-healthy-way

WibusJaga:
At this point, all of you still mocking Arsenal should ask God for forgiveness. It's like mocking a cripple.

sunshineV:
nigeria is a crime scene

Yong4ever:
. You really need a reorientation, don't be deceived, many people have it without being symptomatic hence they transmit it, if you don't go for test you can't confirm it.

Beancounter94:
Well

1. Malaria drugs are.cheap

2. Insecticide treated nets are widely available free of charge

3. Malaria is treatable

4. You need to go into politics and ask your goverment the questions needed about how it spends money

5. There have been numerous public health campaigns on malaria

6. Malaria does not kill many people as it should in Nigeria becausemost people are immune in some way to it.

Don't ask me about money. I'm not in goverment. I just do my job. You do your job and ask your poloticans how they spend money. Join a party or form one. Do the hard job called democracy

Good morning.

Beancounter94:
I work as a frontline health worker. At my hospital , we had to refer three covid positive patients to a treatment center last week. Infact, I just got a whatsapp message yesterday informing me that one of the patients died.

The patient that died just got worse and worse. When he was at my working place, we threw everything at him. Antibiotics, ivermectin, zinc, etc. Nothing worked.

I also know at least two family friends who have died of covid ...AND in one of those cases, the entire family had to go into quarantine. I also have treated a patient who may have died from covid (she met the clinical description, but died before we could test) recently

I have also had colleagues go into quarantine for covid as well over the past year.

The thing is real. Effing real. And the reason why you don't see a case or think it is fake is because less than 200000 Nigerians have tested positive out of our 200 million people. I hope it stays that low.

Good morning, and thanks for insulting me. May God bless you in return

omonla10:
I'll like to know the infection rates in well vaccinated countries. Cos I haven't been convinced about the usefulness of these vaccinations

jizzison:
How much for your Nintendo 3DS?

4Play:
You have the traditional "African" mentality that dates back to the pre-colonial era of seeing our leaders as ennobled beings sitting on their thrones and entitled to respect, like our traditional kings/monarchs/rulers.

A president in the 21st century is a public servant, or at least ought to be, and the utterances of a public servant should not be inflammatory or be capable of being interpreted as promoting genocide/human rights violation.

To suggest that the Americans should become more like us in the standards they hold their presidency to is profoundly ignorant. If you want to apply ancient African standards, then remove all the vestiges of Western-style governance - stop calling the head of state "president" and choose a title like Emir or Sarduana, abolish the constitution and stop holding elections. That way we know we have a traditional king who deserves to be "respected" by all and sundry and who can say what he wants in any medium.

4Play:
Twitter censored Trump's tweets whilst he was President....the most powerful political office in the world. There was no talk of the US government banning Twitter as a result.

The Nigerian government hasn't even investigated or detained Miyetti Allah members for incendiary statements, it's a social media platform they are tackling.

seunmsg:
It is a serious aberration. Sadly, people are only looking at it from the prism of their hatred for Buhari. Censoring the speech of an elected president in another country should never be allowed.

omonnakoda:
What is democracy
Twitter is a business
Twitter is not democracy
Are Nigerians present on the Board of twitter? How many?
I would say the same thing for Jonathan, Obasanjo or Abacha

Twitter should not censor the president of Nigeria and if it chooses to do so it should be kicked out of Nigeria. That s the African way

References:
https://punchng.com/breaking-covid-19-fg-returns-curfew-restriction-on-mass-gatherings/?utm_source=telegram&utm_medium=social&amp&utm_term=Autofeed&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Twitter&__twitter_impression=true

Luckydubby7:
https://thenationonlineng.net/nerc-mulls-another-electricity-tariffs-review/

JudgeKronos:
None....

Sex education is a fallacy.

In fact, the moment you tell a child the do(s) and don’t(s) about adulthood, na that time he or she will like to experiment the don’t(s) especially this uncircumcised generation....

There is a time in everyone’s life when he/she will turn into what he/she will become......

When that time comes there’s nothing you as a parent can do to stop him/her.

Doyin Okupe comes to mind..... my apologies for mentioning a name... but let the message be passed..

Do your best as a father/mother ....... the rest is an unpredictable phenomenon.

My one cent .

Jman06:
All I see in your post above are so much generalization with no sound logic to back up your claims. Who told you that the evolutionary responsibility of women is just to birth and nurture If that is the case, then we can as well say that the evolutionary responsibility of men is to impregnate women.

There's no assigned responsibility for any gender outside the natural reproductive roles. It is humans of old that assigned roles based on their limited knowledge at the early times. Now, we advanced humans have seen that some roles that were hitherto considered gender specific can actually be done equally by both genders. So, in order to ensure a better and more egalitarian world, we now encourage gender equality and unlimited exploration of the potentials embedded within the female gender for greater good of society.

bignero:
God is in a Christians spirit.. So you'd hear him through, intuition, inner voice, still small voice etc
... You wont hear an audible voice, ada thats your husband..

God doesn't choose... The Bible says "what things so ever ye desire".... Its you're responsibility to choose.. God can guide you..

When God guides you and you meet or see the person.. Something in you will pick interest in the person.. Like prompt you.. Like hey look what you're looking for.. Thats God major way.. He may also speak directly within you.. But not always, the sure way is an inner prompt.. But don't think you can ignore God all your life and all of a sudden start hearing today.. He speaks not all hear

bignero:
God is in a Christians spirit.. So you'd hear him through, intuition, inner voice, still small voice etc
... You wont hear an audible voice, ada thats your husband..

God doesn't choose... The Bible says "what things so ever ye desire".... Its you're responsibility to choose.. God can guide you..

When God guides you and you meet or see the person.. Something in you will pick interest in the person.. Like prompt you.. Like hey look what you're looking for.. Thats God major way.. He may also speak directly within you.. But not always, the sure way is an inner prompt.. But don't think you can ignore God all your life and all of a sudden start hearing today.. He speaks not all hear

Afiastikal:
Good day all

I noticed that most churches especially the not so new ones insist intending couples seek the face or mind of God towards their union.

This is to ensure the supposed union has heavenly approval.

So the big question is this, Do they really hear from God, like words to the ears or is it the usual God given instinct that every one possess that they eventually rely on

I know for instance that that if someone meets a good wife or husband material, there is this peace of mind that comes with being with the person or the thought of getting married to the person.. It is worth to note that this feeling, instinct or intuition is also present in a normal human being

So,please do you guys really hear from God before getting married

Bar1941:
It will take close to two decades before the madness planted in the minds of some Americans by Trump can be healed...

I'm 99.9% sure the asśhole is one of his supporters.

jaelz:
So I was hosting an uncle of mine and we were discussing about why he wasn't wearing his ring, to my utmost surprise he said he wears his ring any day his wife wears hers. I was shocked though but my mind drifted back to me so many of my friends and relations who also do not wear their rings again even despite being married.

Back in the days I know you only take off your ring when you want to flirt abi play away matches, but these days it's almost as if they take off their wedding rings immediately after those church weddings.

So my question is why?

TheSupleemLeada:
http://saharareporters.com/2021/03/31/feminism-why-women-get-beaten-marriage-%E2%80%94pete-edochie

Ctorch:
Is God really against taking Alcohol or Just against excess of It.

Galatians 5:19–21: "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: ... drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God ." Ephesians 5:18: "Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to Immoral behavior.

The bible was particular about it drunkeness and not against alcohol.

Further

1. The Bible allows Christians to drink alcohol for medical reasons.
Paul told Timothy, "Stop drinking only water and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illness." (1 Timothy 5:23 )

The Bible forbids drinking if it hinders the gospel.
Paul explained in 1 Corinthians 9 that even though he was allowed to eat and drink anything he wanted, he was very careful not to do things that would hinder the gospel of Christ. He said, "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many a possible.

Proverbs 31:4-5

4 It is not for kings, Lemuel— it is not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, 5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.

What do you think God was reallly emphasizing on?

Zetty177x:
I'm not a judge or God. No comments. I wish u d best gal

Agbegbaorogboye:
So you want a ref, coach, linesman to be appointed in epl just because they are black to satisfy your racist innuendos.
Same quota system that killed Nigeria you want to export to Britain

etokhana:
https://sports.yahoo.com/amphtml/palaces-zaha-becomes-first-premier-153458528.html?__twitter_impression=true