₦airaland Forum

dawnomike:
The probability that his Nigerian father is late is very high

My British mum’s family opposed her relationship with Yoruba architecture student in 1954, now I’m searching for dad – 68-year-old Briton

Sixty-eight-year-old Mr Paul Bolton, born by an English woman to a Nigerian man in 1954. He tells OLADIMEJI RAMON about his search for his Nigerian father believed to be a Yoruba man, whom he has never met.

[img]https://images./6o5raZZauZLnAP5QsOUed8.jpg[/img]

Q: Tell us about yourself.

My name is Paul Bolton. I am a 68-year-old chartered structural consultant, living in Surrey (South-East England).

Where were you born and who are your parents?

I was born in Leeds; my father’s name is given as Femi Odiendie or Femi Odeiwde. My mother’s maiden name was Denise Rosamund Mary Williams.

Do you have any siblings and where are they?

I am unaware of any siblings on my father’s side. My mother had two children after she married several years later to someone other than my father.

You said your father is an architect from Nigeria; when did you see him last?

It is my understanding that he is an architect, assumed to be in Nigeria, but I cannot be certain of either point. I have never met my father.

In what circumstances did he leave the UK and returned to Nigeria?

My understanding is that he completed his studies in the UK; apparently he was living in Preston (North-West of England) at the time of my birth. It was thought that my father had suggested that he would like to care for me and take me back to Nigeria; clearly this did not come to pass.

How old were you when he left?

Unknown.

Do you have his photographs?

No.

Why do you think he didn’t stay in touch with his family after he left for Nigeria?

Within three weeks of my birth, my mother had to hand me over to an orphanage. My father was unlikely to have been given my whereabouts. My mother’s mother sent my mother to a “Mother and Baby” home in Leeds run by the Catholic Church in order to keep the fact that she was pregnant a secret, with a view to returning to her studies after my birth.

What was the reason your grandmother wanted the pregnancy to be kept as a secret?

Pregnancy outside of marriage in 1953 was considered to be very shameful, particularly within Catholic families, which they were. No doubt, the fact that my mother was white compounded the problem. My father met my grandmother, presumably, before my birth.

How old was your mother at the time she got pregnant then?

She would have been 19 years old when she became pregnant and 20 years old when I was born.

Did your mother tell you how she met your father?

They apparently met whilst they were both studying architecture at the city of Hull. It has been confirmed that my mother was indeed studying architecture but regarding my father, there is also a note to say that he was an engineer, so there is some confusion here.

I found a gentleman on Facebook named Oluyemi Odiende, who studied architecture at the Hull School of Architecture, but he may have died last year. My father was named Femi Odiendie and studied at the same place.

Where is your mother now and how old is she?

The last communication I had with her, albeit via a councillor from the Catholic Children’s society, was back in 1995, when I wrote to her. She elected not to meet me, which was very disappointing. She said that stage of her life needed to be kept buried. There has been no contact since. I do not know if she is still alive. If she is, she will be 88 years old.

Are you in touch with your half-siblings and what is your relationship with them?

As my mother did not want to meet me when I managed to locate her, I assumed that she wanted to keep this stage of her life a secret from her family. I have, therefore, not attempted to get in touch with either of my half-sisters; the eldest sister had severe mental disorders.

Will you like to talk about when and how you eventually left the orphanage?

My formal adoption took place when I was six years old. I was adopted by a white family, who at the time could not have children of their own. I was fostered to them 18 months earlier. My adopted parents subsequently had three of their own children – they always said it was God’s reward (for adopting me). I get on very well with my adopted siblings, albeit we are very different, nature versus nurture – from my experience, nature is an overriding parameter.

My adopted parents were very loving and caring; I owe them so much, who knows what sort of life would have been ahead of me had I lived all my childhood in care.
The town that I grew up in was predominantly white, so as a black kid, I was certainly a bit of a novelty. It was a happy childhood, I enjoyed being different from other kids and I think that it moulded my character.

When did you begin to have the desire to see your father or at least your father’s relatives in Nigeria?

It would have been at the time of the birth of my firstborn in 1993. I realised that this is the first person that I had a blood connection with, thus the urge to know who my parents were became more important to me. I realised that my children would, at some point, want to know their background, so I started my search.

What steps have you taken towards achieving this goal?


I have searched for my father by writing to various universities/colleges where he might have studied whilst in the UK, without success. I also wrote to the Nigerian High Commission in London and the Nigerian Institute of Architects in Lagos, but neither organisation responded.

Why is connecting with your Nigerian roots important to you?

I would like to know about my Nigerian heritage and in particular, my paternal family.

What will you do, the day you see your father or meet his people?

I really cannot answer this, but I suspect that it will be very emotional.

You must have got some information about Nigeria; what is the most striking thing you have heard or read about Nigeria?

My knowledge of Nigeria is shamefully shallow.

If you come to Nigeria, besides your father or his relatives, what other things will you be looking forward to seeing?

It would be good to trace my ancestors and how they lived.

Former President Olusegun Obasanjo on Saturday warned that if Nigeria continues to recycle corrupt set of politicians who lack commitment, courage and understanding of what makes a nation and development, Nigerians “will soon have to say goodbye to Nigeria as a nation.”

He spoke on Saturday at the international symposium organised to mark his 85th birthday at the Olusegun Obasanjo Presidential Library (OOPL), Abeokuta, the Ogun State capital.

The symposium was attended physically and virtually by eminent personalities, including: President Paul Kagame, President Nicéphore Soglo, Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Professor Goski Alabi (Ghana); Ambassador Barry Desker
(Singapore); Professor Juma Shabani (Burundi); Dr. Mary Khimulu (Kenya); Dr. Moussa Kondo (Mali); Professor Sarah Agbor (Cameroon); Professor Chukwuma Soludo and Sanusi Lamido Sanusi, among others.

Obasanjo whose address was titled, “Africa Narrative with Nigeria Situation”, insisted that Nigerians must learn from the events of the past and put aside sentiments in choosing the next President of the country.

"Since 1999, we have changed from one political party or another we have maneuvered and manipulated to the point that election results are no longer reflections of the will of the people and we seemed to be progressively going back rather than going forward politically, economically and socially.

“If we continue in the same pattern of recycling, sweet-word campaigning, maneuvering without substance of integrity, honesty, patriotism, commitment, outreach, courage, understanding of what make a nation and what make for development, we will soon have to say goodbye to Nigeria as a nation,” Obasanjo warned.

The former President lamented that the principles of federal character which ought to serve as a guideline for the emergence of quality leaders had been bastardised by selfish politicians and advised politicians to prioritise nation-building in whatever political arrangement they make.

He stressed that if Nigeria derailed from nation-building process with solid principles, it would collapse.

Obasanjo said, “I cast a cursory look at some of the people running around and those for whom people are running around. If EFCC and ICPC will have done their jobs properly and supported adequately by the judiciary, most of them would be in jail.

“Any person who has no integrity in small things cannot have integrity in big things. Fixing Nigeria must begin on the principles of nation building, not necessarily on emotion, sentiments, euphoria, ignorance, incompetence, ethnicity, nepotism, bigotry, sectionalism, regionalism, religion or class.

“The issues of security, stability, development, economy and our relationship within Africa and with the rest of the world can only be taken care of if we get the issue of the nation building right. We have a lot to learn from the events of the last almost 24 years and God is not to blame if we fail.

“It would appear that we are not getting our priorities right and that can spell doom on our country if we fail to do what we should do for nation-building in terms of fundamentals of equity, justice, common ideals, popular education, shared values, mutual respect and equality of opportunity anchored and propelled by leaders across the board that are persons of integrity, honour, morality, competence, great virtue, courage to do what is right, humility and ability to put a team together and work with them in selfless devotion and service with the fear of God.”

The former President said he had always maintained that if objectivity, national interest and patriotism were brought to bear coupled with equity, integrity, performance, no region or zone should claim to have monopoly of Nigerians.

He added, “If we are going fault finding, zonally or regionally, no region or zone can claim absolute innocence. And federal character is a very important and perfect instrument of nation-building in our Constitution. When we have adequately taken care of nation-building measures especially management of our unity and taken care of every anomalous situation and performance or lack of it, that have put us in political, security, economic and solid quagmire situations that we find ourselves, then we must zero on personalities.

“Each contender must be properly x-rayed and profiled from birth and Nigerians must be educated to be able to make a choice that will be in the national interest and propel Nigeria forward.

"Such a person will have to lead what remains of the nation to courageously continue on the path of nation-building as a national team leader, no matter on what platform he or she assumes leadership. No one can do it alone. We must, however, stop sacrificing character, track records and performance on the altar of ethnic, regional or
religious jingoism. As the watchman counts on daybreak, so too do I count on Nigerians and Nigeria to bring forth that person.

“I do not, cannot and will not at this point suggest the how and to what, I can only count on the patriotic commitment and desires of well-meaning Nigerians to start the process of forging a path out of darkness into the light of salvation and a new glorious dawn.

“It is time to reach into the ability of Nigeria to always snatch victory from the jaws of defeat as we start this collective search on how we can climb out of this hole in which we find our country, Nigeria.”

Some northern farmers have lamented continued attacks by terrorists, forcing them to abandon their farms.

According to them, if the attacks linger, food production would be affected and a food crisis may hit the country soon.

Isa Yakubu and Moshood Tsaku, both farmers in Kurgwi village, in Qua’an-Pan Local Government of Plateau States in separate interviews with Saturday PUNCH, said going to the farm had now become like going to war, as farmers were no longer certain of their security.

Yakubu said, “I am afraid of going to my farm. I have stopped my wives and younger children from joining me to farm, in case there is a cause for us to run.

“Before now, I used to go to the farm at 4am during the planting season, but now, I have to wait for the sun to come out before going out, for fear of attacks. One cannot be too careful.”

Similarly, Tsaku, who said he had once survived a terrorist’s attack on his farm, said he had developed cold feet towards farming.

“I was in Benue, working on my uncle’s farm when these men (attackers) came in and slaughtered farmers. My uncle and I escaped by the whiskers, but we lost a relative to the attack. I will not risk my life again as I am back in Kurgwi. I will stay in my house and manage whatever I get. I am not afraid of them, but I am just being careful as I am not one to go about daring trouble"

Another farmer in Benue, Shaibu Idah, “You know since 2019, it has been a serious issue here in Benue. The herdsmen, bandits and other criminals attack us every single day. I have injuries to show for this, so it is not a joke. I go to the farm with my own weapon and I am prepared for anything.

“But since we go to the farm late and come back early, we certainly will not produce as much as we would have.

“This planting season now, I should be looking at cultivating over five hectares of land for yam cultivation and a few more hectares for other crops, but as I speak to you, I am struggling to finish one. My workers have refused to even go to the farm with me. It is as if I am doing subsistence farming."

A Forbes report on Monday titled, ‘In Nigeria, Banditry has become a Major Threat to Food Security' ,noted that unprecedented rise in insecurity had displaced farming communities and hindered cultivation.

The report said, “At a national level, since July 2020, staples such as beans and tomatoes have seen a 253 per cent and 123 per cent surge in prices, respectively.

“In Borno State, previously the largest wheat-producing state in the country, producing 30 per cent of Nigeria’s wheat, the activities of insurgents popularly known as Boko Haram have stalled the cultivation of over 400 hectares of wheat in the area, as well as in other states in the northeast of the country.”

compton11:
u should have know niglets there mean children.

AntiChristian:
Where did Jesus mention that he was sinless? Not Peter, quote Jesus!
And If your Bible was copied why not the errors, incests, wars, etc., copied.

Ignorance is when you quote Tafsirs like the one you quote above. You don't even know how to reference your lie![/b]

Hanks0000:
I saw this coming so I'm not surprised.

Hanks0000:
Watch how people will relate it with the mark of the best..
They said the same about Covid-19 vaccine and made Mr. Bill the villain.

immortalcrown:
Abeg, when dem go do wetin go replace poverty and racism?

AntiChristian:
Hypocrisy is when you accepted the above about Jesus and reject that Jesus is the servant of Allah from the meaning and Tafsir of Qur'an 19:30.

Allah made Jesus as He willed. That does not mean he is God.
And that does not remove the fact that he will be questioned on the last day....

ORIAYO70:
We learn under Otokoto, Okija Shrine, Clifford Orji etc... Cannibalism n ritualism r things of igbos untill u open ur branch at Ogun State.

AntiChristian:
Shebi you believe your Jesus said "Eli Eli lama Sabachthani"

It is that same Eli that will question him on the last day!

compton11:
Don't forget the 42 little niglets Elisha killed just because they called him bald headed

Lordmoh:
I called it a misquote because you just read verses without reading the commentry for further understanding, now check below



The ‘Ulama have explained that this Hadith should not be understood as an encouragement to sin. Instead, it highlights Allah Ta’ala’s mercy and forgiveness. This Hadith should be viewed as an encouragement for wrongdoers that have sinned, to repent and make tawbah.

Just as Allah Ta’ala loves showing kindness to those who do good, He also loves forgiving those who have done wrong.

Once you're done reading, can you please answer my questions on your Bible cus you keep skipping, lmao. I don't know why you guys don't bring out verses from Quran, you just focus on hadith, lmao

Lordmoh:
And yet again another misquote lmao. Read below and see the sins punishable by death in your religion (st Paul's religion). Whenever you decide to have sense, you'll know that there's only one God, he created me and you but you chose to follow the words of st paul, st Matthew, st luke

AntiChristian:
You know your parents and the Bible didn't inculcate how not to abuse others in you!
So much i neglect you! Die in your rage!

Lordmoh:
I have given you a summary of the verses you Quoted but you're still quoting out of context. Be guided, it's your religion that says every human is born with sin or don't you know about your religion again. So you mean every sin in your religion is the same? For example, As long as a rapist believes in Jesus pbuh, means he's going to heaven?

Lordmoh:
Humans are God's greatest creation, he created us with free will which not even the angels have their own free will. Of course he created us with desires and the verses you Quoted are types of minor sins that humans commit almost everyday which can lead us to the major sins and he the Almighty (swt) the beneficial the most merciful says "call upon me and i shall respond", we seek forgiveness 24/7, we don't have to go to a pastor to intercede for us. The Holy Quran has solutions to all your problems, read it and find the truth cus Jesus pbuh said seek the truth and the truth shall free you

ajumma:
read below carefully
so that IPOB will not brain washed you like
@
cc

FamTomx2(IPOB cannibal mkpurumiri addicts and miscreant)
after4
Iceberg3
Zorn
thatsleepboy1
Wakanakarue
gwafaeziokwu
heniford2(aka ritualist)
GreatAxeMan

Lordmoh:
So what's wrong with the verses you Quoted??

AntiChristian:
You still haven't answered any of the questions!

Did Jesus fast in lent?

Did Jesus put Ash on people's forehead as we dey see today?

Who started all these?

Kindly give us names/Bible verses of the starters of lent and incidences in the Bible?

An Ogun State Magistrates’ Court sitting in Isabo, Abeokuta, on Thursday, remanded a couple, Kehinde Oladimeji, 43, and Adejumoke Raji, 35, in prison over the alleged murder of a 22-year-old woman, Ife Adeh.

The defendants, who were arraigned on two counts of conspiracy and murder, resided on MKO Abiola Way, in the Leme area of Abeokuta.

The Magistrate, I. O. Abudu, who did not take the plea of the defendants, ordered that they be remanded in prison.

Abudu said both husband and wife should be remanded in the Oba and Ibara custodial centres respectively, pending legal advice from the Ogun State Directorate of Public Prosecutions.

She adjourned the case till April 29 for mention.

Earlier, the police prosecutor, Oluwatosin Jackson, told the court that the defendants committed the offence on January 12, 2022 at their house.

Jackson said the couple conspired and murdered Odeh, who was a close friend of Adejumoke.

She said Adejumoke invited the deceased (her friend) to her house and prepared noodles with a sleeping substance.

The prosecutor explained that after the deceased slept off, Adejumoke allegedly strangled her, butchered her body, and sold her head for N70,000 to a ritualist at Ibadan, Oyo State.

Jackson also alleged that the offensive odour from the remaining part of the dismembered body attracted the attention of neighbours, leading to the couple’s arrest.

The prosecutor said, “The offence contravenes sections 324 and 319(1) of the Criminal Laws of Ogun State 2006.”

Lordmoh:
There's no such from imam bukhari, you can't lie to a knowledgeable man like me. Get your facts right. when i challenge you about your religion and scripture, i don't lie or make up things

AntiChristian:
They were tested for virginity! How was the test done? Those who are virgins will be spared. Those who are not will be killed.

In Numbers 31:40, 32 virgins were reserved for God. Can you tell us which of them gave birth to the son of God? Do God need virgins? And for what?

Racism was even mixed in as other nations can serve as slaves but not Israel.

Deuteronomy 21:10-14
Marrying a Captive Woman
When you go to war against your enemies and the Lord your God delivers them into your hands and you take captives, if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife. Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife. If you are not pleased with her, let her go wherever she wishes. You must not sell her or treat her as a slave, since you have dishonored her.

Not all little girls are considered virgins and rape were common. Have you forgotten the laws for rape?

As for the women, the children, the livestock and everything else in the city, you may take these as plunder for yourselves. And you may use the plunder [Yahweh] your God gives you from your enemies.
Deuteronomy 20:14

ajumma:
CC
FamTomx2
after4
Iceberg3
Zorn
thatsleepboy1
Wakanakarue
gwafaeziokwu
heniford2
GreatAxeMan

War no be like wetin you dey watch for American movies, weh dey end after one hour oh.


WHEN WAR STARTS...

When war starts, first of all, you won't have internet to post or comment.

You won't be able to withdraw your money from the Bank, or even buy and sell.

Shops, market, hospitals, transport, petrol stations, power companies, will all be closed.
You will soon be left in darkness with no food, light or even water.

People will loot, kill, destroy, rape, kidnap and there won't be law enforcement agents to be called upon. The few law enforcement agents will be protecting the politicians and important facilities.

You won't even know where your brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers and children are.

You will soon go hungry and you gradually die without even been hit by a bullet.

Every where will be on fire. All you will hear, will be guns, day in, day out.
It may last for days, weeks, months and even years.


listen and learn especially FamTomx2(brass neck)
IPOB cannibals mkpurumiri addicts and miscreants

cannibalist you can't create country inside country

NeoWanZaeed:
Your forefathers, the Jews.. said more than this..

It's sad you can't hear or know they're wailing in their grave �.

Wait till it's your turn.. no doubt you will know how far

NeoWanZaeed:
This nonsense you posted, you are to ask those that does that to explain where it is in Islam that they're allowed to do that.
NO MUSLIM WILL EVER DO THE NONSENSE THAT CHRISTIANS DO.

NeoWanZaeed:
Hadith

حَدَّثَنَا إِسْحَاقُ بْنُ مَنْصُورٍ، أَخْبَرَنَا أَبُو هِشَامٍ الْمَخْزُومِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا وُهَيْبٌ، حَدَّثَنَا
سُهَيْلُ بْنُ أَبِي صَالِحٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏"‏
كُتِبَ عَلَى ابْنِ آدَمَ نَصِيبُهُ مِنَ الزِّنَى مُدْرِكٌ ذَلِكَ لاَ مَحَالَةَ فَالْعَيْنَانِ زِنَاهُمَا النَّظَرُ وَالأُذُنَانِ
زِنَاهُمَا الاِسْتِمَاعُ وَاللِّسَانُ زِنَاهُ الْكَلاَمُ وَالْيَدُ زِنَاهَا الْبَطْشُ وَالرِّجْلُ زِنَاهَا الْخُطَا وَالْقَلْبُ
يَهْوَى وَيَتَمَنَّى وَيُصَدِّقُ ذَلِكَ الْفَرْجُ وَيُكَذِّبُهُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏


Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying. Allah fixed the very portion of adultery which a man will indulge in. There would be no escape from it. The adultery of the eye is the lustful look and the adultery of the ears is listening to voluptuous (song or talk) and the adultery of the tongue is licentious speech and the adultery of the hand is the lustful grip (embrace) and the adultery of the feet is to walk (to the place) where he intends to commit adultery and the heart yearns and desires which he may or may not put into effect.
Sahih Muslim, 2658 a
In-Book Reference: Book 46, Hadith 33
USC-MSA web (English) reference: Book 33, Hadith 6422 (deprecated numbering scheme)




What's difficult here to understand.. laughing.
The adultery in question has been explained extensively.

No way a man can escape these things stated.

Haakeem:
see i don't have ur time, i am currently at work.

We would argue other time. Gracias.

Haakeem:
lol, may satan free ur way of reasonen some days i pray. Bunch of clowns.