₦airaland Forum

i think DNA is worth doing

Looking at d question and d body of d thread, it seems you are confused, so which one? are u directing d question to d men or to d women?

Anybody can become dada if so desired, just leave your hair without combing for a very long time, automatically, d hair become dread, hence, u become "dada: olowo eyo"

well, as for me,divorced or not, anybody can give advice, but d most important thing is dt, common sense require that intelligence has to be involved, u weigh d advise given, make use of d useful ones and drop d others that seems not to be useful.
However, not all divorcee are bad, not all of them desire to become one, not all of them can be written off, some are epitome of good qualities, only dt they are unfortunate to find themselves in a loveless and non-endurable relationship, some of them are open, sincere and transparent, from such, one can seek for advise, that is where intelligence, ability to know right from wrong comes in, i think, that is what Kobojunkie was trying to pass across, which im also buying into. Conclusively, i will round up by quoting this adage "eni jin si koto, o ko ara iyoku logbon", even from not talking at all, we learn so much from them as being victims of circumstances, and we try as much as possible to learn not to fall in the same pit they fell into, that is also an advice.
Pls, im talking about d sincere ones, not talking about those who could not endure difficult situations with their spouse. So i rest here.

This tonto dikeh issue on dis NL is becoming questionable.......or rather suspicious!

To d usher.....is it a crime to be single?







To d Princess..............is it by force to sit in d front?

Yes, based on what they have passed thru, they advise based on personal experience, and no sane person will want his/her loved ones to pass thru what they passed thru which led them to divorce. I am very sure that no one likes to be tagged "divorcee", only that, sometimes, its unavoidable because of some factors, before, signing for divorce, one must have tried to endure some things, only to find out later dt d other party is not ready to make d marriage work, hence, divorce. So, in order not to allow such things happen to a loved one and their experience while enduring, they have better advice to give.
My opinion anyway.

No, i bet to disagree, quarelling everytime indicates incompatibility and incompatibility is what often leads to irreconciliable differences, which most of d time leads to divorce.

If parents(bothparents) are very close to their children, they dont need to ask a direct and specific question, they will get all their facts during discussion, that is why it is advisable to be friendly with our children, being too harsh with them will push them away to strangers.
It is d responsibility of both parent to engage their children and always have discussions on sex, love, values,STDs, friends to keep, accomplishments,providing them with directions on how to accomplish their goals in life, thorough communication with them will make them to confide in their parents without even asking for it.

Apply wisdom!

Looking good is a good business, but now, what is it becoming?........ Its better to eat good food, u will see d result on your skin.

Im always happy when i hear this type of news from my pple over there.

k2039: Too bad,being the traditional doctor that I'm,I threw my Opele on the ground and consulted the oracle and I was told that womb is damaged.


On a more serious note,I hope her womb is still intact.


Smh,she is extremely stupi.d,the fact that she got pregnant after the traditional wedding shows that she committed no sin,as far as God was concerned she was married(traditional marriage is the most recognised by God,the parents have given their children's hand in marriage).

that is it, but none of us can say dt to her face, she has been going from churches to churches, hospitals to hospitals,from traditional to tradomedical to medical etc, i just pray God have mercy on her.
Last yr, she said to me;"ore, if i had known, i would have listened to u", i just calm her down, there is nothing i could say again, but recently, i advise her to go for adoption, which she vehemently turned down, saying she is certain she will have her own, and dt is exactly what we have been praying for.

Why would u change your good character in order to please a woman, a good wife should be able to accept her husband d way he is, and d man too must always be transparent enough. Truth is bitter, if she cant cope with it, u just say it, it is now left for her to decide what to do about d matter.

chaircover: funny enough I have seen the opposite where a couple who already had a church wedding date but accidentally got pregnant decided to abort the baby because the church refused to marry them and they didn't want to loose face in front of all their invited guests.

Thankfully people got involved and advised them to get married in the registry instead. They had their baby and have been TTC ever since.

A lot of things are just so wrong in Nigeria!

Madam CC, u are right, so many things are wrong here, especially with religious fanatics, personally, i dont like hypocrisy, i have a friend, very close friend, she got pregnant after d introduction, she already have church wedding date ahead, so because of d fear dt d church will not join them, she decided to abort d preggy, d husband pleaded not to abort, he even reported her to me in particular about d incidence, i went to her place and pleaded that she should not abort d preggy, that she can go to d registry and have her wedding done there, she refused totally and got d prenancy aborted without d approval of d husband, with d excuse dt she cant miss d church wedding and that the congregation will make jest of her, to cut d long story short, she aborted d preggy, and went ahead with d church wedding, very big wedding, but, till now, since 2001, she is yet to get pregnant again, now she is regretting her action of 11 yrs ago now. Is dt not hypocrisy?
If one can abstain till after wedding, fine, if one cannot, and get pregnant, instead of pretending and making pple believe that u are a saint, have your baby and go for registry/court wedding........simple.

Amen to that, lets be optimistic for once.


With God, All things are possible!

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it should not be, but it depends on what d wife and d husband want, everybody with his/her own opinion.

However, if there is pregnancy before marriage, probably when they dont plan for it or as commonly used "it was by mistake".....it is better to have d baby than to abort d pregnancy because of wedding, that is hypocrisy.

U dont need to forget before u can forgive......( inasmuch as u are not suffering from memory-loss).....forgive d person and move on with yur life, if d person tries to be too close, which u may not be interested in, set boundaries, be careful with d person, lest what happened before should happen again, forgive completely, its good for your health, dont try to refer to what happened before, just live your life and be wise enough in relating with d person. May God help u.......... Amen.

I think madam CC and Aunty Yemi has already answered dis question rightly, i dont think there is a better alternative to solving dis problem, d4, i go with them.

Two great nations, just like Jacob&Esau in d bible.

Im married and im happy being married, i wasnt into clubbing or partying b4 i got married, so i cant really compare and i cant say i regret getting married, so, i enjoy my marriage, it makes me more mature, tolerant, accountable, responsible and above all, God fearing.
Hope that answers your question.

What is d position of d father as regards dis unborn child u are about to......................(fill in d gap yourself)

Did u and d father of d unborn child take dis decision together, or u just took d decision without carrying him along?

Can someone pls summarise d thread for me, its just too long for me to read............when i read d summary, i will post my comments.

debrief08: Greatergood believe me pretending to please in laws is behind so much unhappiness, aggression and frustration in marriages.
I don't know why we teach children that marriage is suffer suffer

.

Marriage requires wisdom as well as confidence, especially when it has to do with in-laws, if u are not firm and confident, they will turn u to something else. Maybe, its because of what happened then, im not really having any problem with anyone of them, thank God my hubby is even firmer than me, so they dont even overstep their boundaries.May God help us all

jennykadry: Lol @greatGod

What is it With these family people and meat? So I won't eat meat in my own house Ehn? May times we just buy turkey, cook and grill and everyone eats. I wonder what such people will say to that. na die ooo

abi, o since that incidence, i've decided that each time she visit, i will entertain her with drinks.

[quote author=Mynd_44]Send me an invitation oo. I can't turn down a good rice party[/quote]abi o, i will do, God spare our lives, its still over 2 years now.

debrief08]Truth is that in the "how to be a Nigerian Wife Manual" you are taught to be a zombie, believe me I have been one. Brains rotting away and all that.
I never really understood the mother in law problem because I have been blessed with good ones both mother in laws were great,
I went to a Friends house, she is a very loving, cheerful person, we were having wine gisting and laughing till a horn blows and madam peeps through the window, the look on her face you will think she just saw a nuclear bomb.
She dashed grabbed my wine and her, ran to the kitchen poured ot away, cleared every item that showed sign of fun and hide this was within secodns, I was still in shock am sure if she had her way she will hide me in a cupboard. While I was still wondering what was going on my friend had opened the door and knelt down.
In walks majestic mother in law, not minding the woman kneeling down greeting her. "Where is my son and those spoilt kids of yours"? "Who is this one who is seating and looking at me"? "Ehnnn, so all you do is seat home and gossip"
Still in shock I said "excuse me"? My friend was gesturing me to keep quiet and kneel down, but one thing I learnt from hubby is be myself and never pretend, and also age is not an excuse for misbehaving, respect is earned.
I got up took my bag and said bye, the woman followed with insults my friend was begging she screamed at her "shut up, see how this one is dressed, how won't you be wasting my sons money on rubbish"(my friend is a top management staff of a telecom company propbably earns more than hubby but is nice and as humble as can be), anyway I stopped at the door turned to the terrorist and asked Madam are you okay? Are you sane? You walk in here and start throwing insults and curses, don't you know your age? Can't you respect your self? I don't even know who you are but woman to woman you are a disgrace, look at how scared this lady is off you, you think it is respect? Well take your nonesense far away from me because I won't take it.
The woman stood in shock then muttered "I am sorry", I didn't answer told my friend bye and left.
Anyway sometime later I asked her how far, she said she got tired of it all and one day after another terror visit she was as usual reduced to a ball of tears, her son in children wisdom came and was consoling her then said "mommy you have to learn to face your fears" that it was as if cold water was poured on her and she remembered how this woman had insuleted me and when I corrected her she apologised, so she walks into the parlour, mother and son gisting, mother turns as usual to taunt her, she calls mother in law by first name, gives her mega warning, tells her I have tolerated enough of your crap, if you can't respect me in my home you are not welcome here anymore, my friend was shaking from fear inside butr stood her ground said her mind from years of pent up hurt, she finished picks her car keys and leaves, no destination in mind. Leaves her phone at home.[/quote]debrief, pls stop it, its too early in d morning, i cant laugh again, i was just rolling on my bed while laughing, abeg, just stop this,
u made me remember one of my siste-in-law (my MIL is a very wonderful person , i never had any problem with her)this my SIL is d 1st born of d family, a divorcee, 3times, soo autocratic, so dominative,etc. After my wedding, we went for honeymoon,spent 2 weeks there, and came back , she claimed to come visiting d 3rd day of our arrival, my hubby had gone to work and i was still enjoying my leave, when he entered, i knelt and greeted her,and stood up, and she asked me after staning up "have i asked u to stand up" ,i pretended as if i didnt hear what she said, i went to d kitchen and prepared food for her, immediately she saw d food, she raised an alarm, "see how big this meat are, haa, when will my brother prosper if u go on to eat like this"...at this juncture, i said "madam, pls respect yourself here, this is my house, u cant come to my house and be insulting me, if u cant do without insulting pple, then stay in your house, the next time u come to my house and insult me, i will get u arrested" then she took her bag in annoyance and left, i didnt even ask her anything, i was interested in knowing where she was going, she went and report me to my MIL, and my MIL told her "why shoul she go and be disturbing me, i never knew she went there, i just decided to call my MIL and report her, i said "mama, pls, warn ur first daughter never to come to my house to insult me again, im allergic to insult, if she tries dt again, i will get her arrested, i just want to keep u informed" and i hanged off, believe me, sincerely, she never tried it again, d kind of respect she give me self, no get measure, when my hubby came back from work and explained what transpired btw us to him, he said "i love ur action". Till now, im never insulted by her or anybody in d family, they all admire and respect me with passion. So women, reject wht u dont want

I think d title is misleading "fighting" how can fighting be regarded as fine?
Now, to d subject matter:
Once its my name, i dont have problem with that. The only problem i have is not calling my name properly, i will simply correct d fellow, apart from that, every other thing is fine by me.

[quote author=Mynd_44]Or when they are renewing their vows, she can have a stylist turn it into something great and she can wear if again.

It will be just like the last time[/quote]hhhhhhhmmmmm, talking about "tunmigbe" im thinking about this idea, seems like a great one for me, maybe at our 10th yr anniversary ..... It'l even save us some cash. Thanks.

Vikin: Your own must be outdated by now no offence! Just leave the gown where it is, just for remembrance.

why do u think so?