₦airaland Forum

You can only advise them, encourage them into being responsible and as well shakara them but at the end of the day, they live with the decision they make for themselves.

However, when it's almost late for them, they start blaming their village people as being responsible for their woes,whereas, they are the architect of their lives' ship.


I wish they listen now, before it's too late.

@op, time heals, with time, you will forgive him but believe me, things can never be rosy between you both again.

haul:
You wouldn't blame your father, he needs a son, don't you know how terrible for a man to be without a son but ladies?? You surely made is marriage boring, give your father a break he's only human.
Females will always be a second fiddle in a mans world hence you father thorough search of a son as heir, why should you mum sob at night? If she's not a witch she should prove that by birthing a son not shedding crocodile tears. Thank goodness she had a son eventually, your mother should blame her cousin that is a hoe who opened legs for your father, you came with a half story in favor of your mother. Women! Confused lots, if you like accept his plea or not, he's a man and its a mans world!

Is this for real
I give up!!!

lesbiangirl:
I feel for you op...please forgive her,fast and pray for her to change her ways, try and spice the marriage alot so she won't look outside. Cook nice meals,wear red boxers and lose some weight...(especially potbellies )

Trust me it aint easy to be married to one prick for d rest of ur life unless yua filled with the spirit of God. God forgives us wen we err so who are we not to forgive. If u leave her now what's to say the next woman won't cheat on you...so please ehn forgive her and don't forget to pray for ur marriage.

Stay blessed!

chai!!!
NL......I hail....
This is just too funny!

lesbiangirl:
I feel for you op...please forgive her,fast and pray for her to change her ways, try and spice the marriage alot so she won't look outside. Cook nice meals,wear red boxers and lose some weight...(especially potbellies )

Trust me it aint easy to be married to one prick for d rest of ur life unless yua filled with the spirit of God. God forgives us wen we err so who are we not to forgive. If u leave her now what's to say the next woman won't cheat on you...so please ehn forgive her and don't forget to pray for ur marriage.

Stay blessed!

chai!!!
NL......I hail....
This is just too funny!

That would make you guys to appreciate women more.

Just leave the little not alone, let him enjoy himself, just make sure you monitor him, lest he injure himself, or you do what the poster above advised.

Or on the other hand, change your TV station to cartoon station for him.

Each to his/her own! Some can and some can't? And that doesn't make none of them better than the other.

If you can, that doesn't make you better than those who can't. And if you cant , that doesn't make you better than those who can. It depends on individual preferences.

Are you sure you've not been saying you're married while acting otherwise.
If no, then, it means those women do not wish you and your marriage well and you need to distance yourself from such set of people. Anyone who wishes you and your marriage well should know that cheating on your spouse is not healthy for you and your marriage.

The Bible says.......flee from all appearances of evil........now is the time to flee from them.
May God help you.

tobymichael:
If you had all the money in the world but still
had to have some kind of job, what would you
choose to do?

Have you seen anyone that has all the money in the whole world

Even Bill Gates never assumed he has all the money in the whole world and never thought of quitting his job/work.


Simple analogy: Stop working, stop earning and start becoming poor.

lol......
You both better don't step your feet in Nigeria, because 14years imprisonment no be beans......

just kidding.....

But on a serious note, has it gotten to this!

byvan03:
My dear I dey, hope your squad is cool. OP mentioned that she has been rescued before, only for her to run back to the husband. At this point I personally will never get involved till she needs me. I don't subscribe to forcing a full grown woman out of her marriage, she should have sense enough to leave when she is tired. What if you help her pack and the next day she runs back, the circle repeats severally. You will certainly get tired at some point.


I really don't have much patience for unusually weak people, I just hope that reality knocks them awake at some point. You can't save someone that doesn't want to be saved.

I'm cool. Thanks.

Okay!

byvan03:
Your wife is taking it too far, it's not her duty to practically pack her sister's things out her matrimonial home. All you can do is talk and let her be, don't bring another man's issue to your home.

@byvan, long time.....
I would have agreed with you if I haven't seen someone close to me who died as a result of this mindset. We were actually minding our business until it led to her death, it was then we realised that we shouldn't have minded our business, we should have at least helped her out of the marriage. but it was too late for us to realise.

I'm not a troublesome person myself, but there are some people who are too weak to take appropriate actions they need to be helped before it's too late.
The op said he want them separated, but what if the woman do not have the gut to pack out by herself, don't you think she needs someone's help.

henrygale:
I actually support them separating coz of the gross irresponsibility of the husband,i don't think he physically abused her,but den,there r tns worse Dan beating partners do to eachodas dat can make the oda person almost commit suicide wch has been d case severally. she is emotionally broken.

if that's the case, then leave your wife and her people to liberate her from the bondage called marriage she put herself into. Or do want her dead ni.

In Yoruba land, there's an adage that says........." Dada ko le ja, sugbon o laburo to gboju.


Let your wife fight for her sister. I can do the same.

There's a friend of mine who is still regretting not helping her gentle sister to pack out of her abusive marriage. The woman died as a result of hostilities/cruelty from the husband.

Abeg, a stich in time saves nine.

If your wife's sister's life is at risk, I mean if her husband is physically abusive, I support your wife 100%.

We have lost so many people to death due to abusive partners who ain't stopped nor fought back with.
Please, let her be, by the time she's back,(thank God she didn't go there alone), she would tell you why they have to take the action they took.

Life is too precious to loose because of marriage. One can only remain married if one is still alive.

I'm watching this thread!
Most ladies will say.......forgive her.
Most men will say...........send her away.




If it's the other way round.......

Most ladies will say..........divorce him, he's an unrepentant cheat!
Most men will say.........it's men's world, men are polygamous in nature, its not easy to stick with one woman for the rest of ones life.......bla bla bla.......


@op. you don't need justification of your action from anybody. Do what it's in your mind.

Mr man, o ti yo tan, o nwa bekun bekun kiri
...........Literal meaning....... you don't belle full, you dey look for wetin go burst your belle.


Better don't try it, for your own good. You attested to the fact that you have a wonderful wife, whom God has used to bless you bountifully, but you don't mind hurting her feeling just because of your selfishness.

Get a manager like others have suggested, carry your wife along with your plans, so that she will understand the reason for your constant travellings.
Don't betray your wife's trust, it's dangerous!

herveze:
She is nt working yet bt she is staying with her mum at shop and making money for herself,she is hardworking and never ask for too much from me,she understand me a lot bt nw because of her age and pressure from her parent she doesnt want to understand my situation

Honestly, I don't like discouraging people, but with this post, I'm afraid.
First, she's not yet working and you're earning just 25k.
Secondly, she's still staying with her parents and you too is still staying with your parents as well. Are you going to rent an apartment from your 25k?


Thirdly, Because of her age and pressure from her parents, she doesn't want to understand you again, but she knows that you earn only 25k in a month, how does she expect you both to cope?
My brother, love alone is not enough, she should be able to understand your conditions and take the marriage issue easy with you or ............


However, if you think you can both pull through, you can go ahead, but honestly, I'm afraid, and I hate hearing/reading bad stories about marriages.
May God open a better way for you in Jesus name.

It is well!

You can start by age 2 for them. But it's either you get baby monitor or you're very close to the baby's room to monitor the baby's cry of help with the help of an alarm which should be set at one hour interval.

RiloKiley:
Not vexing, lol
I was stunned when I heard the price but apparently they put into account security, serenity and sentimental value. The fact that you are assured your loved one is safe for all time and you can visit them in a calm environment, also the upkeep and maintanence of the gravesite etc.

Also interested in cremation. Any idea how.much it costs? I heard its expensive.

well, each to his own!
I like cremation, but I don't think its something embraced here (Nigeria). So, I don't have idea of the cost. Do they even do it here?

All these wife-killers and husband-killers should have given themselves break joor.
It's only when one is alive that one can remain married.

Yames70:
We're not judging, we're only saying no human being deserves to be treated as such, no matter the story behind it.



And yes, the world is wicked, but we all can collectively make it a better place for ourselves.@greatgod2012, I ve been wondering where u went to and silently praying u be okay,really missed ur mature comments, thank God u are fine, remain blessed!

thanks for your prayers.
I was busier more than ever before, so, I have to give NL a break to have time for my busy schedules.
Thanks so much

She know the kind of person she is and she knows that the man deserves a better person. Talk of guilty conscience.

RiloKiley:
A friend of mine got buried at the vaults and gardens and I heard it costs N50million to get a grave there. Looking for something cheaper.

50 million naira to get a grave
Na wa o!
I'm not hating, envious nor jealous but as for me, I'll rather wish such amount of money
be used to better people's lives, especially the less privilege ones. That's if I'm the owner o and my remains buried in a less expensive grave or even cremated.

No vex o.......lol.....

@op, seems both of you really love each other. Have you called her to explain your present financial status, if yes, how did she say she will cope, what are her suggestion s on how you guys are going to cope with such an amount in this present day Nigeria?
What are other things you think you can do to add more to what you're presently earning?
What is her her own work, since you say she's an understanding type, what's her own plan on how the home is going to be ran.
The truth is that, in this present day Nigeria, it's difficult to cope with such salary asca family, but with rugged determination from both of you, you can make it, even though, very difficult.

herveze:
Thanks but i love this girl and the girl helped me a lot during my school days,i will feel sad and ungrateful if i leave her

But will you rather like to be termed "lazy and irresponsible" if you get married with such an amount as your salary and you're unable to meet up with your family needs.

I honestly pray that God make a way for you and get a better pay, but is she ready to wait for you till then?
Pray. persevere and be focused.

@op, 25k is too small to maintain and sustain a family. Let your wife and her people realise that you love be her and will like to get married to her but love alone is not enough. Since age is already against her, I will suggest you let her go, sometimes, real love is about letting go.

ULSHERLAN:
But what if the case is that the lady sat down there to hold on to or properly watch over what she kept there from theft. It's just perspective and yea no one deserves to be treated in bad way

Anyways, let's hope that's what's happening sha or what creamish said up there....


Benefit of doubt.........

Yes, you can! But it depends on some factors.....

If your wife is working and she's ready to assist in financing the house and kids (when they start coming).

If you don't have high taste, as in, you're not the type that goes in for very expensive stuffs.


If your wife also is the type that can maintain such a lifestyle with you.


If you don't have demanding relatives, as in, you have understanding relatives who believe that each is to his own, and your wife is also from that type of family.


If you're focused, prudent and conservative, you can cope with the income you're currently having.
The truth is that, many are earning way below that, and they are married with kids and they are maintaining their family well according to their capability. It all depends on the type of spouse involved and type of lifestyle one believes in.


And the bitter truth is if you're still waiting to become a millionaire or a billionaire before settling down, you might just wait for eternity.

My advice: Do what you wanna do, with proper planning and steady focus, you will get there.

Warning: Study your wife-to-be very well and make sure she's ready to cooperate with you in the journey, or else. na OYO you dey o.
May God help you.

ULSHERLAN:
The world itself is wicked.

Lets not judge since we don't know the exact story and we never can tell if the woman sat there voluntarily

We're not judging, we're only saying no human being deserves to be treated as such, no matter the story behind it.



And yes, the world is wicked, but we all can collectively make it a better place for ourselves.

Terry68:
don't conclude from afar. there's more to the story than what your thought can administer.

no matter the story behind it, my brother, no human being deserve to be treated as such.



But I'm 80% certain that it's maids that are usually treated as such, which is very very unfair. As if it's their fault to be born without silver spoon.

[quote author=thelish post=43051175][/quote]Thanks dear!


@cococandy, happy belated birthday dear! Greater heights in Jesus name!