₦airaland Forum

Roon9:
Ozo is the most insecure man alive

It actually takes self-confidence to be so true to one's feelings.

RTSC:
Father lord, do not give me a daughter like erica.

I pray with all my heart.

But a son like Kidd?

Timekeeper:
Mumu girl.. All for the money


Porn star

Vp Pikin sef is jobless..
Can't she help her father in changing Nigeria for better?

Mumu Kiki wasting time watching BBN when she shud be in office working tirelessly for Nigeria

What about the boy? He can't help his father? He is not a porn star? SMH

jamalnation:
Fine girl were no get sense na her private part go suffer

How will it suffer? Can it break like a penis?

goodmorning40:
He might be saving you from an impending doom

Do you know his health status
Have you both gone for medical checkups
Its important you run tests STDs and the likes before intimacy

Anyone who decides to forgive a cheating partner should insist they run a series of tests on STI.

The-men-are-not-responsible-for-contraceptives-crew over to you.

The photographer did a really good job.

The wife's smile is beautiful by the way. And I love the white dress she is wearing.

delkuf:
Thank you for this. I don't know you come to threads like this.

You're welcome.

Kendumazy:
The head is not meant to be a suffer head.

But the wife is meant to suffer working three jobs? Why do you people read selectively?

We see or don't see what we want to see or refuse to see. Once you decide to get a particular car, you will see this car everywhere. How our perception works has been shown in experiments such as the 'Invisible Gorilla'.

The phrase, "the invisible gorilla," comes from an experiment created 10 years ago to test selective attention. In it, study participants are asked to watch a video in which two teams, one in black shirts and one in white shirts, are passing a ball. The participants are told to count how many times the players in white shirts pass the ball.

Mid-way through the video, a gorilla walks through the game, stands in the middle, pounds his chest, then exits.

Then, study participants are asked, "But did you see the gorilla?" More than half the time, subjects miss the gorilla entirely. More than that, even after the participants are told about the gorilla, they're certain they couldn't have missed it.


In this sense, God can only prove himself to those who believe he exists. In the words of Zora Neale Hurston: "Gods always behave like the people who make them."

Hassanmaye:
That stingy creatures, I don't have time for them, marriage na scam.

But it's your fellow men shaming ladies and other men who refuse to get married.

Kendumazy:
This is not an issue at all. Women should do away with the mentality of "Men are meant to suffer for them"

When men makes more money, they take care of their entire family which is the wife and children and not the children alone. The same should be applicable to women.

Ladies, take care of we your husbands too. We are not suffer head

You are no longer the head? Noted.

pocohantas:
Lol. Yes na, he is accurate time-keeper. I wonder why he thinks I care.

Few weeks back there was a thread on a man complaining of his unenterprising wife. He was asked to cut off the source. Make her understand lack, that way she is gingered to work. Men give themselves the best advice because men love peace way more than women. I like them for that and the only advice I apply from a man is that which he would have given another man.

This!

Is virtuous woman the female equivalent of simp now?

ClixMaster:
Why would you buy gifts for your kids only ? So because you now earn more than him you now feels he is not worth your gifts abi? If it were to be the other way round now, he will buy for you and your entire siblings. Women are unbelievable!!

You are missing the point. She is working three jobs because he has refused to up his hustle waiting for a miracle to happen. How can a man, in a society where you consider yourselves the providers and protectors, watch his wife work three jobs and instead of being worried about the impact the work load will have on her health, ask for gifts because she bought the kids snacks.

Has anyone acknowledged this woman's vision and plan for a better future? You should all pray for a wife who thinks of building with you instead of asking you to spend on her wigs and nails. But no! Mr. wants gifts because she got the kids some snacks.

Amorprincesa24:
Pasta and Chicken for Lunch. Very spicy!

This looks very delicious. How did you make it? I want to remake it.

AjalaDtraveller:
Fried rice with shrimps, liver and veggies

Beautiful!

mutter:
I can't tell you how much this means to me.
Sometimes I wonder if I should be more theatrical but that isn't me. Thank you for inspiring me!
I will remember this anytime I feel low or dsmotivated.
God bless you.

Thank you!
God bless you too.

MrBrownJay1:
True, for the first 2/3yrs of a child's life, after that this child will be spending all day in kindergarden/school, so mummy staying home alone is pointless to the child. Thus my below point:

I will call you when the discussion takes place again and the crew 'you are a bad mother if you have a job' shows up.

cococandy:
Please tell us how to interpret control

I stopped reading the thread when I saw this comment.
I quoted him first but didn't want his way of thinking to interfere with the sunny weather.

MrBrownJay1:
Lol, now you are absolutely right about the above....
- doing your bed in the morning, so that you can come back at night and messing it up before going back to bed again, is a waste of time IMHO. Reality is, we only tell kids to clean their room and do their beds because it give them a sense of purpose.
- shower wall, sink, bathtub, behind/under the TV, Windows, curtains etc doesn't need to be cleaned every day IMHO
- making sure the sofa looks like no one has ever sat on it, is a waste of time IMHO
- just like I don't see why we should spend 3hs when going to a mall, if we already know what we are gong there to buy.
- just like we men will never understand why you women will always claim to have nothing to wear, but your closet is full of clothes/shoes, til there is no space for more.

We (as a family) may see many things differently, but the bottom line IS: both men and women fully well know that
two salaries is better than one...

LOL

The last part, there is this school of thought that it's better for kids if the mother doesn't work.

MrBrownJay1:
I am giving you all the possible scenarios that can happen in a family unit which has both parents gainfully employed.... Any man that tells you that he can't pass by the grocery store on his way from work and/or help the kids with their homework, is a bastard that needs to be run away from. That's simple stuff, just like cleaning cooking, that anyone can do.... Sadly, social laws dictate that mummy should do it while daddy fixes the house and face armed robbers at night (aka put his life on the line for the family)

As much as I rather work than stay home doing "God knows what", I also fully understand that if I DID stay home, I would be done (cleaning/shopping) by noon, and have a full afternoon doing absolutely NOTHING but watch Telemundo, before picking the kids after school.

That's because you men don't see a lot of the stuff that could and should be done. One of the reasons why women's houses are nicer than men's houses in terms of cleanliness and organization on average. Either way chores are the most boring job there is in the world.

Dear Mutter,

it's a pity nobody has commented on this thread yet. I have seen several of your videos and have always admired your calm, warm-hearted manner of delivery but this video is the best I have seen so far.

I have just watched a documentary about autism on Netflix about young adults with autism looking for love and I learned a lot about what it means to be on the spectrum. I can't describe how adorable some of the characters in the documentary were and the documentary inspired me to dig a little bit deeper in the topic. One thing led to another and I stumbled on this thread.

I think that such threads/videos are very important since autism is sometimes diagnosed late and too late to tackle some of the effects autism can have on development. However, your video should not only be watched by parents with an autistic child but by every parent. There are so many lessons to be learned here. One of them, to give an example, is that we should make the learning process fun. I think it would serve every child if we knew how. I also love how you addressed your little assistant saying thank you for agreeing to help you. It tells so much about the kind of mother you are and the way you appreciate your children and what they do. I could go on and on but I don't want to make it too lengthy so let me finish off by saying that you are a wonderful mother, as far as my humble self can judge, with beautiful children and I hope more people will visit this thread and learn from your video, this one especially.

Thank you for posting this.

MrBrownJay1:
A) you are talking to a man who was dropping and picking kids from kindergarden for years... No big deal whatsoever. Coming back from work and picking up kids from kindergarden is part of the joy of the day, because that's probably the 1st time daddy got a true smile all day.

B) any kids Need to learn discipline by doing housework too, after their school homework. So cleaning their room, helping in the house etc, is a must in order for a kid to get proper life standards. So technically, the job that you are referring to is very small, and easy, and can be done/shared after work.

C) I doubt a gainfully employed woman needs to do more than 1h of cleaning after work, every day. While she cleans daddy will do kids homework or take kids to sport practice, and wifey can thereafter start cooking while daddy help the kids clean up after sport practice. No big deal! In the weekends they will ALL (as a family) go grocery shopping for the week, make other shopping needed.... And after, daddy will mow the lawn, fix the car/house and take kids to football practice etc while mummy do the washing/ironing and weekly deep house cleaning. This is what a FAMILY UNIT is all about.



True, just like mummy doesn't need to clean the house everyday... We finish eating breakfast, I pick up the dishes and put them in the dishwasher or sink, you clear/wipe the table while I am off to drop the kids at school. Then everyone goes to work. Now tell me exactly what "difficult" cleaning you are talking about that needs to be done after work (apart from breakfast dishes and maybe sweep the floor)?! Haba, you women think we men are blind and don't see what you guys are doing?!?!?!?! If the house was clean last night before we went to bed, why should it be dirty in the morning?



ALLELUJAH!!!! Women having a 9 to 5 is the basis of my point...anything else can be done as a family unit.

HALLELUJAH indeed!

This description of how chores and responsibilities can be shared sounds completely different from the description you gave before.

Just so you know, I would much rather do my job than stay at home but that's just me.

I see the marketing team that works for Coca-Cola is worth their money.

I hope guys will not start to propose at KFC now.

MrBrownJay1:
Do the laundry everyday?!?!?! Ironing everyday?!?!?!?! How many people live in your house that you need to run a washing machine everyday? What house needs deep cleaning everyday?! Or you mean to say that picking the kids toys and cleaning table tops and dishes will last 3 hs?! Come on now.... Everything you mentioned can be done after work!!!! And I am even talking about abroad lifestyle because 9ja housewife get house girl who will do ALL THE HOUSE CHORES, so wifey in Nigeria is indeed a jobless telemundo expert.

- Daddy can help the kids with homework, while mummy cooks and cleans....
- Shopping (grocery/clothing) is done as a family outing ON THE WEEKEND... Unless of course you believe it "must" be done daily by women (as if walking to the corner store is so difficult)
- Women only do the bulk of unpaid work because they choose to stay home (pretending that this is a job)... Unless you actually believe that ONLY WOMEN Can help kids with homework, buy groceries/clothing/school things etc?!?!?!

Let me ask you a simple question: what would you think is best for a family? To A) have two salaries while daddy helps with kids homework/shopping after work etc (while you cook and clean) or B) have just one salary while wifey waste time doing at home (during the day) what she could easily do after work, if she had a job?

As for you claiming that a woman works as much as a man, I am sorry to say that I won't compare doing kids homework, going grocery shopping with the tough job some men are doing to care for their family. But I guess, your housewife job is so tough that you'd rather stay home to do it, instead of getting a job and sharing your "tough" housewife duties with your husband, abi? Wandaaaaaaful!

I wouldn't have to answer all of these questions if you switched roles for a couple of weeks with a mother with children of kindergarten age. And you would certainly not tell me that doing chores every day after work for 2-3 hours is easy not even taking into account the nature of the job of different women and how long it takes them to get to work and back and whether they had a sleepless night or not because junior had stomach ache and who do children go to when something hurts? Yeah, mummy.

The best would be daddy would stop pretending he fixes the house every day or checks the car on a regular basis to start with.

Women do not work as much as men, women work more than men. In addition to a 9-5 job, they do the freaking chores every day for hours and at weekends. How often do you fix something around the house or in the car if at all?

RamessesIV:
True but they should stop talking down on our women when they are doing green card marriage

I agree.

MrBrownJay1:
Let's call a spade A SPADE, unless you wanna make us believe that a woman CANNOT get a job because she has to clean the house (aka something she can easily do after work). As for cooking, who is she cooking for during the day?! When men have to fix the house, they easily can do it after work. So again, let us not try to fool anybody here....when women cook and clean after work, men fix the house. so when men go to work all day, women should do the same (since they are free)

As soon as kids are old enough to go to kindergarden, there is no use for a woman to stay home all day.

I never said she cannot get a job but running the family and the household is not something you do easily when you return from work after a long day. Do men fix the house every day now? Because women do clean and cook every day, do the laundry and ironing. Let us not forget the homework they help the kids with and the errands they run, the doctor appointments, the extra curricular activities they take their kids to, the shopping they do for everyone in the family (not only groceries but clothes, school things, birthday presents) and the elderly care they are involved in more intensely than men. Women, and this has been proven over and over again, do the bulk of unpaid work so if your woman has to work as many hours as you do and you only fix the house while she is doing what needs to be done every damn day then they deserve more than they get.

RamessesIV:
Sha some nigerian men dey fall my hand like wetin dey old white women,chai poverty is a disease

Do you say the same when you see young ladies marrying their daddy's age mates? It's a transaction in both cases. The parties willingly participate in it and if that makes them happy so be it. I can never understand how they can sleep with their daddy's or mommy's age mate but everyone is different. In some cases it's not even poverty. I don't know if it is greed or a daddy complex or true love but this is not my headache.

Klass99:
You have a very valid point with Gandhi!

I have male friends who have impacted me positively through their advice or input on things.

Like, when I needed an AC Technician, a plumber and help picking out a TV (as I know very little about good technology) my friend came through for me.

In fact, he helped me locate my current accommodation and always negotiates prices with artisans before sending them to me (because they can be funny at times)

I place a high value on him and our friendship, his impact in my life has been more valuable than money.

You should try going gbola free (if you're not already) you may just like it better than me.

One's material wealth is not a measure of one's humanity and inherent values. I know we live in a vain world but it does not make it less true and all this vanity causes a lot of suffering and will cause even more suffering. The problem is when people have nothing else to offer than money or beauty. Then it is very easy and recommendable to go gbola free.

RamessesIV:
The few ones who marry old whit women

They probably live off there meagre retirement pension so there is nothing left to collect or the marriage falls apart before they get to claim any alimony.

MrBrownJay1:
here is a simple clue: if your wife stays at home for 10yrs, cooking/cleaning/taking care of the kids while you are the only one who works and brng the cheddar, then A) if you divorce and SHE gets custody of the kids, then you have to pay this jobless woman to take care of your kids and to have a decent place (similar to the one you were living in) where to live with your kids.... But B) if you guy divorce and YOU get custody of the kids, then she has to pay you for taking care of the kids.

The reason why you never hear stories about men receiving child/spousal support is because these same men believe it's wrong for them to stay home watching telemundo while wifey goes to work all day...but these same men have no problem whatsoever to go to work all day while their wife stays home all day doing nothing (but watching telemundo all day). The problem is NOT the law here, it's the failed mindset of these foolish men who allow their women to be lazy/jobless.

Do you even know that you can clean the house after work?! Do you even know that you can cook dinner after work? Do you even know that as soon as kids turn 2/3yrs old, they go to kindergarden all day thus nobody need to stay home all day for them?! So technically, as soon as kids turn 2/3 yrs old, EVERYBODY can get a job and provide for the family "equally".

I think it is unfair to wives and mothers who run the family and the household to call them jobless.