₦airaland Forum

Acidosis:
When a woman says "had it been it was your mom", "had it been it was your sister", "had it been...", bla bla bla, trust me, she already resents your family.

You don't have to believe me. Just wait for the signs. Don't just demand an apology. An apology would not fix resentment. You have a bigger problem on your hands if you don't handle this carefully and with maturity.

Boomboost:
You're correct up to a degree. You beat, but later draw the child closer and explain reasons for your actions.

I got to respect my pops when I was older, feared him less though. I also understood he was saving me from the path to crime which would lead to imprisonment and the trust grew anyways. I sha dealt heavily with low self esteem and shyness.

Kobojunkiee:
That is the problem. We confuse fear with respect. And avoidance with morality!

Mindlog:
Says the Senior Prefect of mugus.

matm:
Even adults obey the law out of fear and not respect for the law.
Without beating,cell and imprisonment. no Nigerian adult will obey the law let alone kids.

matm:
Even adults obey the law out of fear and not respect for the law.
Without beating,cell and imprisonment. no Nigerian adult will obey the law let alone kids.

todugo:
Shutup what do you know about raising kids. It's her child which she carried for 9months.
E.g if the child stole money from the mothers bag or meat, without that punishment and fear of it, he would still do it again, cos he lacks that mental maturity of wrong and right. But if he remembers the beating he won't do it again even when no one is watching.

Acidosis:
The problem is that OP's wife doesn't even have a house. She currently lives with her mother. I'm not sure she has a job either.

descarado:
Don't be surprised he is already living with one lady with a child on the way, yet he took his kids away from their mother cos they are separated.

Glad to see a post like this here because, here, they make it look like its only ex wives that punish their ex by turning the kids against them or running off with the kids.

ahnie:
Acidosis don de misyan lately

Acidosis:
Yes. Split custody is the best approach in this case. However, both spouses should be granted access to meet the other kid(s). The mother should be able to visit her sons and the father should also be allowed to meet his daughter.

None is responsible enough to take care of three kids. One is probably jobless while the other can't even create time for his kids.

Bold? Of course. It's an unfortunate situation. As far as divorce is concerned, the kids will be separated one way or the other either from one another or either of the parents.

Acidosis:
The current arrangement (i.e., split custody) appears OKAY, as long as your triplets are fraternal (i.e., non-identical). Separating non-identical twins is not a big deal, as they have absolutely NOTHING in common apart from the fact that they were born on the same day.

The fact that your ex-wife had previously abandoned those kids depicts gross irresponsibility. Also, the fact that you currently outsource your duty to your mother/sister, in fact, shows a higher level of irresponsibility. In an ideal society, neither of you deserves to have custody of the children.

Prospertochu:
A real mother doesn't abandoned her children no matter how hard the situations is. If she really cared she wouldn't have abandoned them in the first place. Her ashawo work in Lagos is not going well that's why she want all 3 children with her so she will be receiving a big sum of money from me every month for upkeep or else she won't be able to survive again in Lagos.

Prospertochu:
My x wife and I share 3 children together ( 4 years old triplets 2 boys 1 girl). I live in another state due to the nature of my job. The girl lives with her in Lagos and the boys are with my mother and sister in the village. I rented another apartment for them far away because I don't want my x or her family to come and kidnapped my boys the same way she kidnapped the girl . My x wife and daughter are going to the village for xmas she want me to give her my mum adress so she can see the boys she said she bought plenty gifts for them . I refused because the last time she visited she took all 3 children to her parents house only for her to kidnapped the girl leaving behind the boys. I don't want her to kidnapped my boys and she has threatened to take me to court for custody she said the judge will grant her custody because the children are tender . I told her to go ahead and report me anywhere she wants. I am scared to loose my boys. I love them so much they are my everything I won't bear to lose them. My boys are only 4 years old is it true that the judge will grant her custody because they are tender ?


Edited 1 : https://www.nairaland.com/7112098/x-wife-demanding-me-more#112551530

AlphaHakimi:
A rich man has no business with marriage. While a man is working to make money, his wife should also be working to make her own money. Stop leeching on men's money.

If you get married as a rich man, I can tell you that the major factor that attracted your wife is your money. Why not just have kids and any day the woman wants to leave, she should go.

I have never heard that the baby mama of a rich man ever cheated or was disloyal. That's because she knows she will loose everything if she tries such.

Marriage protects women even when they are wrong. A woman feels comfortable cheating when married than if she was just a baby mama. Even if your wife cheats and you demand for divorce, the western courts will still grant her her certain percentage of your wealth.

So I advise rich men, don't sign the dotted lines. Keep her as a baby mama or give her an air tight Prenup as a condition for marriage, better still, Transfer your assets and cash to your mother.

Shalom

pocohantas:
They can't breathe because it doesn't favour them.

Marriage doesn't favour men, that is why they want more than one wife.

That is why they remarry before the coffin of the first wife sinks.

That is why they shame single ladies. They hate marriage so much that they want these women to trap them into it.

That is why they shame babymamas.

That is why they hate to hear a woman divorced her husband. She should have endured with the man in a marriage he doesn't benefit from.

LOGIC101

cococandy:
Chimichurri steak

I like mine well done and ate it with rice

DH loves his medium rare. Served with eggs and fries

buygala:
If you were still in the womb at 3, I wasn't, just like most normal people ..

Besides the child in question is two, not still in the womb.. No be say dem flog am for inside womb wey im dey.

Anyhow, the fact you are asking this question makes me wonder whether you were so dense that you were still in the womb at 9.

buygala:
Yes I do....

That you don't doesn't mean other's don't as well

Rocktation:
He even still talks..he's lucky I don't really have this time today,.. if not...he will learn

buygala:
I didn't type it to be funny.. As there are useless adults, there are also useless kids.. Yes even at that age....Adolf Hitler was also once a kid..

I am a living example... When I was a child and in play class, not yet three, this my female classmate was in the habit of cornering the male classmates including myself to the back of the school and putting our little peepes in her own little peepee... That shit went on till I left the school in primary four.. One 2 year old girl molesting her male age mates up till I was eight years old... That year, the world wasnt as woke as it is now... Teachers and even parents kept catching us in the act.. But they would either give us a few spanks on the back, or simply shout at us to "common stop that nonsense".... That girl is now a popular Nollywood actress with a penchant for fvcking anything that moves and has money..


You don't know the child in question. You haven't observed the chikd to know how naughty he or she can be even at that age...you don't know what kind of morals the child is being exposed to in his or her family... Only thing you know is that the child is two, therefore can do no wrong.


You dont have to agree with me, just as I don't t have to see through your own eyes on issues...

But you calling my comment shit and nonsense puts you on an equal level with a tantrum-throwing 2 year old.... You are too silly to be an adult... And I sincerely hope that you have no kids to pass on this your thoughtlessness to.

Rocktation:
It's even more sorrowful that you buygala, actually think that you can still try to make sense..A two year old molesting kids.. what is wrong with you? There is no point true true. So dumb.

laluski:
So when you discovered this, you could not go back to the school that day or the next day, slap the nanny and give her the beating of her life.. Instead you came to social media, if I were your husband, I'll beat you mercilessly for that... Nonsense

cenaman:
my son at 2yrs can speak fluently, he stops wearing diapers at 1yr and will tell you when ever he wants to pee or poo

loliapoopy2013:
Minding or nanny jobs should be given to mothers and not teenagers or young girls who do not have the patience and experience to handle children. That way some of these incidents will be curbed.