₦airaland Forum

i know that is why i can never seek advice from u,

i don't understand u, the person u fell in love with is it the same person u are due to marry?or u are due to marry a healthy normal person but now u are in love with the hiv guy?pls answer,

silly silly,what's up now, u gave a very good suggestion.am impressed.hahahahahhahah

i tire ooo.abi dem dey use am collect salary.abegi make we hear word boo, person don talk am say konji no be good thing.even nuns don dey sharp up for that area, please let's talk of something better.

i understand that te economy is bad but to come online to shamelessly request for a sugar mummy,kai,am soooo disappointed, how could u?how could u disgrace your family like this?your father is not doing badly in his truck pushing job and ur mother,i know i see alot of poeple coming to buy akara from her.do u have to go to the extent of searching for a sugar mummy?for u to have even shamelessly dropped your number then it means u are serious and desperate, Kai,am ashamed of u,

benit:
u come choose to come ph wey them no go pity u at all?
But dos kind of babes no dey 4 nairaland oh.
Just go any club make them syphone u till u gho borrow moni tak go back to ya village

hohohohohohohhohahahahahahahahah, true talk my brother, ,e good as u tell am,

michelin89:
What a shame!

Even a man from the land of AIDS now has the guts to be looking for a Naija babe.

We have lost our respect!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahah, una no go kill me for here, land of Aids indeed.u forgot to add rape, aahh Naija babes una don hear am.This is rich! Very rich! My goodness Nigerians are known to be scammers and Druglords but, I don't remember meeting a Nigerian and then rubbing that on their faces.

Angelheart:
This is rich! Very rich! My goodness Nigerians are known to be scammers and Druglords but, I don't remember meeting a Nigerian and then rubbing that on their faces.

Yes, we do have high HIV statistics in the world but do you know that Nigerians are second and then followed by India? Did you know? What makes you think this man could just come on-line and look for an ashewo ? You don't think he can get that from the streets without flinching

My mzantsi brother (Duiker), I don't know if oa bua, uya thetha or uya khuluma. My advise is: Hlokomela/Qhaphela!

PS: Out of all names you choose DUIKER lol

michelin tyre na u dem dey curse ooo.no take am easy with am.oya fire,

webmoney:
Well this topic caught my fancy in a surfthru

Ladies, with all due respect, lets leave money outa it

I have had 3 ex GFs when I had no money and no hope for a tommro and I was loved like mad.

In fact one of them, a supermodel wanted us to get married at the time, I was 21 fesh outa uni and she was in her final year in unilag, then 19. When I told her to chill a little, things got so bad and that's when we parted ways. She was very intelligent and I had 100% access to her money and all, if you know what I mean

Guys are good but ladies need to help em discover themselves, some of these guys will be in millions in less than a year but he needs that love to get by,

I have a fiancee now and when we started dating she used to gimme lots of money even when we quarrelled and I needed it.

Now money aint a thang no more and even though she drives me nuts sometimes, I can't imagine life without her,

In fact I'm buying her a brand new car this year as a suprise birthday gift.

With all due respect to all the ladies, leave money outa love, Love itself is a money magnet, so love first, then you'll be suprised.

interesting, then u were 21.i'll like to know how old u are now and what exactly it is u do for a living, because believe me it will be very wicked of u if it took u 10years to make money and u expect that 19yr old to wait that long, that will make her 29yr old, tell me would u have married her?

Choose another term for your comparisons. Calabar girls are known to be excellent wife material![i][/[pre][/pre][color=#990000][/color]i]


hnnmmmmm,they don come.who ever said calabar girls make excellent wives,

what sort of rubbish is this?who allowed @ poster into nairaland, abeg think of something better with ur brain,ie if u got one.

u really do think u are cute,huh?for u to have posted this picture then u must have lots of guts.so what exactly has been stopping you from making friends and of course getting yourself a girlfriend since u have so much guts, anyway,i'll quote mubowa,nobody really wants to be a friend to somebody that has nobody as a friend.so we suggest u try Jesus,he won't turn u down.start with that abeg,

davidylan:
Guys guys, there must have been a mistake somewhere, i guess she simply wasnt looking and put up the picture of her housegirl. I tell you she'll be back with her real picture, the yellow beauty i expected to see.

But onyex, if that is your real picture then i guess your toasters must be very ugly boys.

Hahahahahhahhahahahhhahahhaahhhahahahaaa, this time i actually fell off my seat.SECOND THAT!!!!!!!!!!.very correct.u just hit the nail on the right spot.let's hope she comes back with the real picture.hahahah.make una follow me see trouble in katanga.

Wooow!!!!!!!!!!!!@debosky am tripping, that's a very nice list u know.but i hope u practise what u preachooo.if soo meenn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!mee trip for u.

@xjovial.i am highly dissappointed, u see,u just came here to disgrace yourself, what kind of definition was that u gave?it goes a long way to show that u are just a mayie,mumu,mongus, abeg comot for here joo,

hahahahahahahahahhhahahahhahhahahaa, oh myGod4!!!4!!!!!!!!!l didn't even see the picture before i replied above.let me tell u what happened when i saw ur profile, i almost fell off my seat because i was just laughing, see this babe ooo.na who carry u come here.i was expecting to see one fine yellow paw paw.hnnnmmmu must really be very funny, why didn't u just give us some other topic,why u wan show ur self like this, puuleeaase, don't just say anything again before u incure the wrath of some very impatient people.

luxoire:
onyex

against my better judgement, i did have to visit your page and c for myself. u are NOT that light, and if that is what guys

have been telling u, then sorry, because they have been lying to u. SO oyah, carry rubber band hold your head make e no

big pass now ohh!!, i was expecting to see one yellow babe or albino sef!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaahhaahha, thank u oooo, help me tell this babe ooo.she came here to do advertisement, abeg no kill me with laugh.

@nurexg
monkey, maybe u should define love for me,

eeeeeeeeyyaaaaaaa,,sorryooooo.this is serious ooo.anyway,take heart it's one of those things that happen when u don't listen to what ur mama told u, but how come it was this ur friend that got pregnant.ol' boy u no try oo.why did u sleep with her now, anyhow shaa,take heart, but u don't have to marry her just take care of her and ur baby, papa bonboy,

hnnnnmmmmmmmm, let's go is not a journey meant for one person oooo, u came all the way from india to look for wife abi na girlfriend.this is very suspicious, INDIA of all places, anyway giirrlliies in the house no talk say i no wan u ooo, it might be rituals ooo.maybe they told him that Nigerian girls bring more money when they are used for it.

@poster
i know what u want to hear is a strategy to make this guy love u.GOOOd!!!!!!! why don't u try taking pride in ur self.develope ur self esteem.always tell ur self that it's improper for anybody to treat u like shit,when i say anybody,i mean anybody not to talk of a guy wey be say when hin tell u i love u,he means i love the have a taste of ur psssss,
abegi,stop mumuing urself.i know these things happen yes.sometimes we tend to go overboard with this thing called love but ol' girl the earlier u snap out of it the better for u.

i don't think i'll survive a yoruba guy, they are soo loud and dirty sometimes, give it up for the igbos, they are juuusssst it,

[quote author=kate_angel link=topic=62602.msg1244273#msg1244273 date=1182975614]1) DON'T say "I love you"

Saying "I love you," especially repeatedly, often pushes your spouse away and in essence, probably does not reflect the truth of what you really want to say.

Here are ways your spouse might respond internally when he hears those words from you:

Yeah right! What does she want now? She's just saying that so I won't leave. Or, she's just saying that so I will leave the other woman. She's using that to manipulate me. So, I will walk away or not say anything.

He loves ME? Yeah right! How can he love me when I do something like this? It doesn't make sense. Who would love someone who fools around on them? If he fooled around on me, I know I wouldn't love him.

Hey, this is cool! I got two of them wanting me. Man, it feels great to be pursued by two people. It is great to be loved by two people. (This may not be acknowledged but it might lie behind a need to continue the soap opera drama.)

She loves Me? What in the world does that mean? What is she trying to say when she says that? I don't understand. Is that all she can say? Isn't there more she needs to say to me? How am I to respond? Say, "I love you too?" Geezzz louise, it's not that simple.

I hate it when he says, "I love you." That really makes him unattractive. He seems so sickeningly needy when he says that. And, that really turns me off. When he says it, I think of a whining lost little boy who needs reassurance. Sorry, but I'm not there. I don't want to be a mother.

2) DON'T criticize, complain, whine, nag

This should be fairly obvious. Criticizing, complaining, whining and nagging are not attractive! Who wants to be around such a person? When I criticize or complain I have a hard time being around myself. This behavior is usually an attempt to deal with the internal tension you feel. You don't know where to go with the tension, so it seeps out around the edges.

And, of course, your spouse will respond in his/her typical fashion, probably by moving away or countering you with his/her negativity. Ever feel like you hit a brick wall, time and time again? What does your criticism, complaining and nagging actually get for you? Give it some thought.

Can you find a different way to let this person know what you want, what you need or how you would like your life to be, without resorting to something that is absolutely guaranteed to give you the opposite of what you truly desire?

3) DON'T say "I've changed"

In an attempt to persuade a spouse to stop an affair or restore a relationship you may use the ploy, "But I've changed I'm a different person" or "I swear I'll change."

4) DON'T Argue, Reason, Plead

You may believe that the more persistent you are in trying to get your spouse to "understand," the better off you may be. Not always true. Usually, it has the opposite effect.

An affair is not based on logic. One's quest to "find him/herself" through an affair has little to do with reason. The allure of the other person, whatever that allure might be, has little respect to reason, logic and thinking and talking something through together.

Arguing, reasoning and pleading keep the focal point on each other. It keeps the relationship bound together (we call it enmeshment) in a powerfully negative and destructive way. You merely continue to rehash the old stuff with the same fruitless outcome.

5) DON'T get friends and family involved

It is not uncommon to look for an ally.

But don't seek out an informant. (i.e. quiz others about what your spouse is saying and doing) You pump for information. You may look for signs of hope and hang intently on every word of your ally.

And don't enlist a friend or family member to be your mouthpiece to talk to your spouse on your behalf.

Getting friends and family involved only worsens your situation.

6) DON'T Act helpless, depressed

Talk about unattractive. It takes a tremendous amount of energy for someone to be in relationship with a person who consistently acts helpless and depressed. People, over time, weary of being around such a person. Do you like being around a depressed person?

7) Don't give up opposite sex relationships

If your partner is involved in an affair, you must likely have the tendency to shun people of the opposite sex. There are a number of reasons for this.

First, you probably do not feel very attractive or desirable. As I've noted in other writings, being on the receiving end of an affair dumps self-esteem down the toilet. Even if you had an interest in pursuing a relationship, this would get in the way.

An interesting phenomenon I observe very frequently is that the spouse having the affair sends a subtle or not so subtle message that only he/she is allowed to have an extramarital relationship. It is his/her domain.

If the offended partner begins a relationship with a person of the opposite sex the person having the affair may become jealous and disturbed, sometimes extremely so. Make sense? No, but then again, not much about affairs makes sense.

You may hold back from having an opposite sex relationship because you believe it will only give permission to your partner to continue the affair and provide further ammunition for him/her to truly leave. This does occur, but only in particular kinds of affairs and, I believe, only in a minority of situations. It will NOT be a major factor in his/her decision to truly end the marriage.

Holding back from developing an opposite sex relationship typically indicates you are doggedly determined to focus on what your partner and what he/she is doing or not doing. You are riveted on this painful elusive relationship. It occupies your every moment and breath. To think of having a life of your own seems terribly foreign.

When I talk about having a relationship with someone of the opposite sex, I'm NOT talking about dating or sleeping around. Don't jump off the bridge. But, there is such a thing as a healthy relationship with those of different gender.

Don't get reassurance from children

Please don't intentionally involve your children.

Here's what I mean.

Don't share information with them about their other parent.

Don't try to pry information from them about your spouse.

Don't ask (in any way) for them to agree with you or side with you or comfort you.

Don't talk about your spouse to them in any way shape or manner.

You can say directly: I'm having a difficult time right now, but I'm doing everything to take care of it and this too shall pass. I will always be here for you.

9) Don't Use the Bible or Dr Laura

It is a natural impulse to want to beat your wandering spouse over the head, not literally, of course. Well, maybe, (Just kidding. Don't do it!)

But, on a number of occasions I've run across those who throw Bible verses, selected passages from books or talk show hosts comments about the immorality and path of perdition he/she is following by engaging in an affair.

Now, granted, engaging in an affair is sin because it certainly does miss the mark in terms of having an authentic and truth-filled relationship and it certainly has dire consequences in which the other does walk down a difficult path. However, using this as a weapon to stop the affair brings dubious results at best.

Beating him/her over the head with moral persuasion most likely will increase his/her resolve, if not openly at least internally, to oppose you. Poor strategy!

10) Don't suggest counseling

OK, what's the deal? A therapist who is recommending that you NOT pursue counseling with your spouse? Yes, exactly. Believe me, I've seen hundreds of couples and counseling when an affair is involved seldom, and I mean real seldom, works.

In most communities, getting counseling is the thing to do when there are marital problems. Family, friends, clergy and other say, "Have you gotten counseling?" Many spouses agree to attend. It usually lasts for a few sessions, if that.

He/she often enters counseling guardedly and with little intent to self disclose. He/she usually in some fashion sabotages counseling. It doesn't work.

Here's the kicker: the person is then able to say, "Well, we got counseling, and it just didn't work out!" Counseling becomes a rationalization to pull further away.

11) Don't tell him/her we need to work on the relationship

This usually means you want to go back to the way the marriage used to be. You remember the good times and your intent is to recapture them. Or you believe that the two of you, focusing on each other with more purpose, can change the flow of the relationship.

The spouse involved with the other person may concede to trying, since it serves basically the same purpose as counseling he/she can at some point say, "See, we tried and it just didn't work." It may ease the guilt or give internal permission to pursue with more vigor the other person.[/quote]Girrrlll!!!!u are the bomb.i feel u really.everything u said is juuusstt ssooooo true, the i love u part just makes me sick.especially when he acts like his life depends on it.am talking about my boyfriend.meennn!!! he's just soo babyish sometimes it makes me sick like i always need to mother him all the time.really i want to get back into the relationship and get serious with it but his attitudes are just not soo attractive anymore.that was what actually made me loose interest in the relationship in the first place, infact,i think u need to talk to him.all this mushy mushy true love confessions won't make a girl love her guy again if she stopped,

nurexg:
no way,

just tell us say u like money we fit understand.

u are just a monkey, make i tell u say na money i like.ewu congo.my friend if u have nothing better to say abeg shut up, let's even assume it's money na concrete i for chop, hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.


eehnn,back to my good people,i appreciate ur views.it was just something i thought about not like it's happening to me.don't mind the fool that was talking about money.

iykstein:
@ poster,
it is really quite unfortunate that you've chosen this forum to embarass your girl-friend. calling her ugly is an insult to humanity and God. You don wack finish come remember say the poor girl ugly, even if she really is, as u claim, there's no need bringing it here for public discuss, u should have quietly let go, afterall, no be person tell u say your girl ugly.

SECOND That!!!!!!

sillyboy:
@ Hazel eyed.

You can bet I wasn't collecting stuffs from her ooo! She wasn't a sugar mum o. We just went out like normal situations. Then, why would you know I've done such things?

because u are silly,remember, and for the records i never said anything about collecting money from anyone oooo.hnmmmm,e bi like say na ur mind u just dey battle with.

sillyboy:
Age doesn't really reflect maturity. I can go out with a lady older than myself, infact I went out with a lady that was 6 years older than me while I was doing my Youth corp. And presently now am just about 6 months older than my number 1 babe.

i just knew it.i trust u to date someone older than u, anyway was' up.


@topic
personally i think age has nothing to do with maturity.but i think it wil be safer to settle with someone that is at least 6yrs older than u.and guys puulease for God's sake date ur junior so u can use ur church mind to treat her like ur little angel,

@abilityman,e bi like say u no get work.which kain topic be dis.abi u be virgin,

ghengis:
_yawns

my grandmother is a virgin and she's not hooked, u interested?

very good.na hin be say una go need hammer and chisel to open the kini, mumu pikin.u come hear come carry ur grandmama play.i pity u bend bend life.

pannyman:
if i flog u eh

hhahahhahhahhhahahahahahaahah, pannyman,don't mind him.na koboko we go take flog am comot for here.see this pikin wey no get respect for elders.u seef wan kiss,

i know my twin and my twin knows me.

children of nowadays.u are 12 and all u are thinking about is kissing.my dear wat happened to ur books.na waaooooooo

ok silly,someone here said i should call a truce.i want peace.u better accept or else na 3rd world war u go see ooo.seriously,let's forget the biff.ok.


but really u are silly.and yeye too.i didn't say that ooo.
my twin did.

sillyboy:
@Hazel eyed.

tell tem wetin we do now

joee!wake up from ur slumber.u and who did what.u wish.abeg comot for here.we no wan see children for this place.oya COMOTTTT