Who be Davido sef . Na joke section we dey na, no be music or entertainment section. Shalom

Pastor stopped at a traffic light and three girls: Apple seller, bread seller and yam seller pulled by:

Pastor: Apple seller give me one quotation in the bible where Apple is mentioned before I buy.
Apple seller:- bible said you are the Apple of my eyes. good! said pastor I will buy N1000
Pastor: bread seller give me a bible quotation with bread and I'll buy
Bread seller: Jesus said I am the bread of life
Pastor: let me buy N1000
Pastor: yam seller give me one quotation with yam and I'll buy
Yam seller: Jesus said, l yam that I yam...

I think the lady wants a nigerian green card

Is he a cultist? haba :

The one using a wedding ring...

Na wa o ... Abi dem rob okro 4 the keeper hand

The bench wey this goal keeper go chop carry seat belt.

Goal for Brazil... A deflected shot

That was close, Brazil almost scored first from a corner kick and the second from set pieces 8 : [color=][/color]

Thanks to nairaland, I jumped from bed to tune on my tv as soon as I saw this post. Now watching the match live

6 packs or 6 ribs . No make me call u panla ooo

Na wa ooo, Barça can be so so ruthless [color=#990000][/color]

Yeah I live in Brazil...

The acarajé (Eat acara) as it is called in Brazil is a lot different from the one in Nigeria in terms of taste. The one made in Naija is miles better...

Naijasinglegirl:
I am addressing this letter to every past ( & prospective HR) I have encountered in the cause of my job hunt because I want my next interview to be my last in a long time.

Dear Sir
I'm guessing you have my résumé since I have literally applied for every vacancy listed online.
You may send your invitation email tomorrow, next week, next month or next year but just as you listed the requirements for your ideal candidate, permit me to state my own prerequisites so there won't be any conflict of interest when we eventually meet.

1. I will not wear my Christmas clothes for the interview.
As a lady, I am expected to appear in a D&G suit with a 4 inch heel shoe to represent the image of your company. I'm sorry to announce that's not going to happen. How do I gallantly represent the image of somewhere I am not guaranteed?
Oga Interviewer, have you ever felt the pain that comes with leaving the interview room with one's best clothes after the HR says "I'm sorry, you failed the GMAT so you will not be moving on to the next stage." Or stares from passersby, wondering why you are roaming with your CV dressed in a corporate attire during work hours.
That does not mean I wouldn't look decent. I like to keep my dressing simple in the event I find myself local pub where I can drink & pretend I was successful in your recruitment.

2. My double ear piercings does not make me the wrong person for the job.

I know tattoos are wrong on all count but piercings on the ear? The last time I checked, the position was not a choir mistress for an Apostolic Church. I have been putting on inconspicuous studded earrings since I began job hunting. How else do I show I'm professional enough? Do I have to cut off my ears? Dear HR of ABC company, how would a tiny ring affect my ability to use microsoft? Just say I remind you of your ex-girlfriend!

3. Four-person slot is not graduate trainee position

Okay, this is the first time your company needs as much as 4 candidates to fill up a position. I understand you are doing unemployed graduates a favour but why did you have call it graduate trainee recruitment, subsequently deceiving thousands of job seekers online with the aim of achieving free publicity for your company?
How do you intend to pick the best four from the 15,000 applications you received. I'm guessing you stopped reading CV's after the first 100. This is the reason we never met cos my awesome résumé was the 12751th.

4. Be very specific with you ideal candidate before I show up

She must be on low cut, must not be more than 27, must have had at least 4 years cognate experience; 1 in a managerial position, must have ACII but ICAN is preferable, must be multilingual, must be a graduate of a private university; foreign university is preferable, must have flat tummy, must be living at most 30 metres from the company, must be able to work without pay for the first three months ( na so! Is it because some churches are currently running a 100 days dry fast program), must be able to market GNLD products?
State what you want in the vacancy.
I hate unrealistic surprises after I have wasted my transport money.

5. I won't give you my photograph.
If I don't stand a 70 percent chance of getting the job, I see no reason why I should come with all my certificates if it will eventually end up in your company's trash can.
Sir, photocopies are expensive. Taking passports are a chore, do you even know how difficult it is to smile these days with all the brouhaha happening in Nigeria? I'm guessing no. After all, you have lots of money and a job to keep you busy.

6. Open interviews? Keep your marketing offer!
Many people shy away from marketing jobs because of the poor pay. I am one of them. (Except you want me to use my blog to promote your product/service) After roaming the street like a mad man to find customers, one is offered only 0.1 percent commission. Like what the hell? If it were that easy to get marketers, why did your company use euphemisms like vacancy for the post of a 'brand activator', 'key tele agents', DSA! Chief marketing technician? Yimu
If marketing is part of the job requirement, let me know prior to that! I was offered a job as an accountant in a pension company in Benin and the next thing the HR said was, "You know, this is a new company so you also have to bring in clients or your salary will be slashed by more then 50%." I told him don't even know anyone or my way round Benin! He said "Don't you have rich aunties and uncles?" I said "no. If I had super rich relatives, would I be needing the job?"
Next thing I heard was "We will get back to you."
I'm still waiting...

7. Salary is a very sensitive issue
Please when its time to discuss my salary expectations, don't bring your colleagues to distract me. Its no time for jokes. I'm a sucker for compliments. For this singular reason, my mom stopped sending me market errands cos when she gives me N5000 for soup items. I hand the entire sum to the first trader that tells me 'Omalicha...Sweety mi...African Queen, come and buy my yams."
Dad also stopped sending me to make cash deposits cos when the beggar seated outside the bank says, "Fine girl, Angel, please gimme money. God go bless you for this life." I hand over the money to him.
Last year, an HR asked how much I wanted and before I could say N120000 is okay. lol, his colleague chipped in "Mr Aderemi this particular candidate looks so humble. . . Her smile is really infectious."
I heard that and stupidly said "You guys can pay me anything like. I will manage."
The HR said, "We will give you N20000 per month."
Yimu! Do you know how much it cost to maintain this smile?

8. ABC Company is not the place for salary earners.

I can see that's your company core values. I understand you need my salary to keep up with your biannual vacation to Seychelles. No problem.
I am going to work for you without pay. After all, I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.
But what other incentives are you offering? Am I going to learn on the job? No. Would it advance my career development? Maybe. Would I have to cross third mainland bridge to work everyday? Yes. Do you have a company bus? No.
Is your firm an advertising and communications firm, you know that's my dream career path? No.
So why do you want to 'eat' my salary? No answer.

Gentlemen, let him who has ears, hear!
From a pained job seeker.

Yours sincerely
Naijasinglegirl.com

You are very wonderful ma'am. It was an immense pleasure reading your piece, one of the best I've seen from anyone. Thank you again...

Hila12:
Just like Nigeria, money does not grow on the streets of Yankee or Europe. Apart from the few who are well to do over there, many struggle and do all sorts just to survive. Should they come back? Hell No! The comfort and security is a very good incentive to remain there, plus if Nigeria was that good in the first place they wouldn't have travelled. We love our country Nigeria but biko things rough anyhow for naija. Contrary to what people think in Nigeria - the nice pictures, fine roads, beautiful gardens in foreign photos are product of a functioning government/system, most are basic facilities(free) put in place by government and are open to all for use (including beggar). They respect and care for their citizens compared to naija. What folks in Nigeria confuse for riches are the basic amenities and privileges their relatives abroad enjoy which obviously is the standard way of life over there (most times they don't pay for it). So don't always think they are rich, it's a shame in Nigeria only the financially stable can go to the cinema, or go shopping, or eat chicken and chips (that is the least food abroad, no less option). Poverty has ruined Nigeria and has eaten deep into everyone's mind, we now see things from a ridiculous sense of view. On the streets of Yankee you will see rotten meat and cigarette filters not Money!

Thank you very much sir/madam that was a wonderful explanatory write up. Thumbs up.

Foolish write up, where do you live? Dreamland?
...Wait a minute? How did this make front page

Just saw these jokes again

in a psychiatric hospital: a doctor found a nut case writing a letter and said to himself, wow! this guy now writes letters he should be alright by now. he went close to him: hey you, to whom are you writing there? the nut case responds, oh! am writing to myself since i never receive letters from anybody. and what is written inside it?asked the doctor. how would i know that? i haven't received it yet! said the nut case


A politician got on stage and said:
- look here in this pocket,no public money has ever entered!
a guy down there said;
-new agbada, eh?!

jsunex:
Dnt know wat ds guys sees in white chick... black is beautiful... I luv naija babe... I luv my gurl.

That is your problem... Comments like this show the level of ignorance of a lot of people here. How can people like you be great world changers when you still think this way. The way a man thinks so he is, not the way he clothes himself...Youths they say are leaders of tomorrow, but definitely not youths like you... not as long as your thinking remains like this.

Thanks guys

AkPOS was baptized and dipped in water 3
times. At
the 3rd time the Pastor said: "You are now
baptized.
You are a new creation the old one is gone.
No
more drinking of alcohol for you. Your new
name is
Jacob." Jacob went back home and headed
straight
for the fridge. He took a Heineken,dippedit
in water 3 times and said:"You are now a
new creation, the
old one is gone.
Your new name is Orange Juice!!!.

Brazil all the way!!!

Well, according to the Brazilian comentators 'monstro Enyeama! monstro Enyeama! monstro Enyeama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'. monstro means monster

Guys plz help me here, Im playing Fifa 2014; on Playstation 3, where do i press to make Suarez bite someone...

Describing what you wanted took me 20 seconds....

Johnsinia: Spain will only win if they concentrate more on goals instead of baseless tiki taka, and also have a very tight defence, if nt they will lose up to 3-0 against Brasil. Brasil is very good up front while spain looks wanting, this is why samba is better than tiki taka.

The guy talk am oooo...

This would be one of the best things to happen between Nig-Bra. I hope everything works out.

This lawyer should be seriously flogged.

ASUU suspends strike
Vanguard,23-08-2009
I love reading old news paper