₦airaland Forum

i wonder whether the passengers would still call the cops to arrest the fellow if the plane were about to crash

she made me a millionaire but i used to be a bilionaire.
just kidding

she is always there for me,

@poster
no matter what u did, as a man i'd say that u have done your part. try to get involved in other things, i really know how it is when you are in place not that is not ur homeland but try going out with friends and i must tell you that there are good places in europe to visit alone without anybody accompanying you, i bet that you'd be better in a short time without all the trouble even though loving him can't burn off easily. i just hope your love for him won't be dead when he comes back to his senses because you as a woman have got what is called SELF-ESTEEM.  

constructive posts: a person trying to see positive aspects in the society and at the same time provides possible solutions to some problems

destructive posts: a person who never sees positive aspects in the society and thus is always complaining through his post. this lad however has a similar objective as the guy with constructive posts which is providing possible solutions to problems in the society.
however a guy with the destructive post may at times seem to enumerate more possible solutions than the guy with constructive posts.

there is no need to pick up on anybody here, everyone has got an opinion whether constructive or destructive which i believe is with the aim of providing possible solutions to problems in our respective societies,

oh my bad!!! what a loss, may his soul rest in peace, what a loss,

nigeria as a whole possesses great qualities such as brilliant minds, absence of natural disasters and so on, but i must give it to BENNY BOY11 here who i see as someone in for the real truth.  at first the absence of adequate leadership is already a big problem for the nation, secondly we nigerians see ourselves as AFRICA NUMBER 1 and a great force in the world's economy which isn't a bad thing the problem is that nigerians in general talk too much!! when would we begin to learn?!! one thing is certain without HUMILITY our system would remain stagnant despite the fact that GOD gave us everything. you see nigerian leaders always present when it comes to problems relating to other african nations when the country is in disorder, i'l explain:
1. one of the most adopted approach to measure a country's economic power is by it's stability in energy generation and consumption, i don't need to say anything further about this,
2. bad leadership has costed us lack of security, adequate health facilities (which means a great deal), proper educational system, a scary distribution of wealth out of this world's fashion, and, the funniest of all is that nigerians are still fighting for world recognition, boasting about personal achievements such as flashy cars around town, expensive edificies and houses,,  we must always learn to wait for outsiders to comment on improvement in our system and how great we are. my experience with the nigerians i met outside the country has been very frustrating as everyone says the same thing. 'make money and return home to show everybody that i'm loaded'  some even tell the women that their parents are ministers and buisness tycoons and etc,  it's hightime we started doing things properly both in and outside nigeria.

sorry zebra for the delay, i'd post the solution as soon as possible. viewing the question, i could see that you can solve it using the taylor series or laurent. see ya soon,

thanks man. that was a good question there.

one thing about africans in general (i was born in nigeria) from experience is their way of envy. when it comes to things that are out of their reach they would start swearing. i bet you if someone confirms that the china process is real you'd see everybody sending mails to this kenny guy. i plead with you all nigerians lets learn to hold ourselves in. the bible explains in proverb 25:28 that that a man without control over his spirit is a like a city whose walls are broken down,

one thing we should realize is that there is no way you can explain anything relating to engineering especially electricity without a mathematical model. the structure of birds facilitates insulation and due to this reason the flow of current through a bird becomes very difficult. in other words since R = V/I, the resistance to current flow through the bird at that point tends to infinity because the current I tends to zero.
do you know what is going to happen when a curious guy tries to be like a bird, he'd get pimped meaning barbecue.

HI ,
THE SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM:

YOU CAN MULTIPLY BOTH SIDES BY (LN) AND HAVE:

ln(3.e^2x) = ln 2^(x+1)
but ln*e^x = x then, ln*e^2x = 2x.

therefore, 3*2x = (x+1)ln 2
so, 6x = xln2 + ln2
and finally from algebraic manipulations:

x = ln2/(6- ln2)

thanks.

man he isn't usain bolt, he is insane bolt!!

a guy got into a barber's shop in lagos, taking along with him a little boy by the hand.the man asked the barber to cut his hair. after the cutting he immediately asked barber to start cutting the little boy's while he goes to buy a newspaper around the corner. he did the job and was waiting for the man to return. after 2hrs, the barber said to the boy: i think your father got lost!! it's already 2hrs now since he went out, the little boy replied, 'he isn't my father, i was on the streets when he stopped me and asked: would you like to have a hair cut for free?

there was a contract to be given for a bridge contruction, and the only three candidates were an american, a german and a nigerian.
the coordinator of the job interviewed first the german to know how much he would charge and what would be the advantages.
the german would charge 1 million dollars, and would use a first class material to produce a simple bridge
The american was interviewed, and charged 2 million dollars for the bridge, with materials from the latest generation, he'd make a very modern high bridge.
then the nigerian- he asked for 3 million dollars for the job, the coordinator asked him
-your price is the highest, so, what are the advantages?
-none he answered
-then why is it high
-let us do it this way, of the 3 million, one for you, one for me and we pay 1 million to the german for the construction.
- business closed

a robbery operation in one of the largest organization in nigeria involving a yoruba man, igbo man and an international influence from portugal failed and thereby led to their capture.
-the judge said to them-you all will be kept for 30 years in different cells without access to anything but you have a right to make a wish! so tell me quickly what you all want,

1.yoruba man- i want a full library in my cell,it's impossible for me to live without books,

2.igbo man- nna men, i need one stupidly sexy chick in my cell, i can't live without woman o!

3.portuguese- i want a truck full of cigarettes, i can't live without smoking.

the judge atended to their wishes and the lock of the cells were seriously fasteened together and, 30yrs later, the police went to set them free. when they opened the yoruba man's cell,they saw him seriously focused and surrounded by teses and mathematical formulas. the second one was the igbo man's. he was very relaxed, laying on the floor, surrounded by children and the woman was already pregnant again.
and when they opened the last cell, the found the cigarettes still closed and the portuguese with a cigarette in his hand, screaming
-match box! match box! for GOD'S sake, anybody is got a match box!!

an old man met a beautiful chick on the beach and said to her:
-pls. can you allow me to rub your breasts for a while?
- go away you old flirt she responded!
-the old man said,i'd give you 500naira.what do you think?
-the angry lady said,' do you think that i'm a prostitute?' go away else i'd call the police now!
-the old man then replied,i'd give you 10000 naira. she thought for a while and agreed,afterall he is old and can't harm me she said to herself.
the old guy began to massage seriously for about 5mins and started screaming:
oh my god! oh my god! oh my god! the lady who was worried about him asked:
oh my god what old man? and the old guy replied
oh my god, where am i going to find 10000 naira?

an old man asked a reverend:
father, is it a sin to have sex at 90 yrs of age?
-no my son, it's a miracle!!

a guy approached another guy and asked:
did you see any guard around?
the other guy answered:
-no
-good then pass me your wallet!

A guy stole fowl,escaped,got onto a bus and hid the stolen fowl in his trousers so that no one could see. he sat next to a nun.unfortunately the fowl begins to make some movement, so, he decided to open his fly(zip) so that it could breathe a little. the guy forgot and slept off,therefore the fowl puts its head out of his fly. the nun on seeing this tried to inform the guy.
- wake up sir! wake up! i don't understand this very well, but it seems that one of your eggs got broken!

a guy caught one of his friend sitting while urinating. -but what is this,you know very well that we men stand while urinating, what happened to you? - look, last monday i went out with a benin girl to a motel, 1.80, large boobs and a wonderful butt,but couldn´t have an erection at all. on tuesday i went out with a calabar girl 19yrs, sweet,babyface, but also couldn't have an erection. on wednesday i went out with a sweet slender white chick i still couldn't have any erection, on thursday i was with my wonderful sugar mummy but still couldn´t have any erection!! his angry friend then asked him: it's ok, that's life for you, but why are you sitting while urinating - ein? after all these you could still think that i'd give this son of a b*tch a helping hand !!

A man was explaining to the police detective how a particular incident happened:

- It happened like this, my wife insisted that i take her mother to shopping along with me. i was walking with her on a less busy street when a boy who appeared to be a junkie or crack head began to knock down my mother in law without any apparent reason. He beat her up until she fell to the ground and even continued kicking her ass!
- was the boy armed the detective asked?
- No, sir!
- was he big and strong?
- he was as slender as a person dying of aids, but my mother-in-law is old!
- I do not understand said the detective, how would you see a man beating up your mother-in-law and still remain with your arms crossed!
- Yes, detective! I was willing to do something, but ,
- But what?
- I found it as an act of cowardice two guys beating up an old woman!

2 friends were in a discussion,

jonas when my mother in law is gone i'd bury her upside down so that if she resurrects instead of going up she'd go down.

the other says,
when mine dies i'd make a hole 300 metres deep, because deep deep inside i like her.

on getting home late jack was afraid of getting screamed at by his wife,so, he got slowly under the blanket massaging softly her leg and followed up with a prolonged MouthAction until she got to her boiling point, after the session he went to the bathroom and found a letter saying:
darling, am sleeping in the children's room because my mum arrived from travel this night so i decided to give her our bed to sleep.

A husband got home when his wife said to him:
- sweety you won´t believe what happened today!
-what was it dear?
-the wall clock almost fell on my mum's head!
-oh! damn clock, always late

A guy won three lottery tickets to Jerusalem. Cheerfully, he asked his wife to get her bags ready and turned to ask his mother to go along but a heavy discussion started because the wife wanted to take her mother. At the end of the fight, he agreed to take his mother inlaw. In Jerusalem, on visiting the place where Christ was buried and resurrected, his mother inlaw got too emotioned and soon died as a result.on seeing this the husband asked how much the funeral in Jerusalem was, and they said it costed a thousand dollars. after a few moments of thinking he asked about the cost of having the body sent to Nigeria and learned that, by air and everything it would be for twenty thousand dollars. He then decided to send the body to Naija. the Jews and his wife got very surprised and asked. - Why send the body to Nigeria, it is 20 times more expensive?
The husband answered: - I am afraid. Here in Jerusalem you already had a case of someone who died and resurrected. I'd rather not risk it. :lol

A man suspected that his wife was betraying him every time he traveled on business. Until one day he had to make a 15-day trip to the US. meanwhile he has a parrot which he raised in a very corrupt way, so he asked it to watch his wife while he was away. The next day the wife comes home with an unknown man and the parrot sees everything. The two go into the room while the parrot spies everything that took place. After hours of pleasure the guy removes the condom from his privates and throws it at the roof of the house. After 15 days the poor guy returned and was soon talking to the parrot: suspicious husband: - hey parrot did she betrayed me? Parrot:-yes! Suspicious husband - but how was it? . Parrot: - Well in my whole life i have seen what is called a violent Bleep, but i have never seen a guy like this who pulled off the skin from his dick and threw it at the roof! lol

One day a man named Joseph decided to marry. His wife became pregnant and 9 months later, during delivery the pregnancy was psychological, only air came out of her. Then on knowing this the whole town named him joseph the air man. Wherever he went people shouted: air man, air man. He got angry and started killing people. Who called him air man got killed. One day a reverend father called him and said, Do it not, you are sinning before God, just because you are called Joseph the air man. he was sorry and said: All right Father, I won't kill anymore. When he left the church, the priest heard a few shots and when he looked, it was Joseph the air man. The priest said: But Joe, you just made a promise before God, and still you killed someone? the air man said: Father, i can still accept if they call me joseph the air man, but to ask me for my cock to fill a bicycle tire I wouldn't accept that.

@ ituen

whatz the difference between being black and being chocolate?? if u ain´t black or white then u're must be MICHAEL JACKSON.

am in full support mr milla, i really miss the old crew

somebody said this: < Ifeco06 is from Kwara and he is a genius although the likes of him are rare in kwara >

no offence, it just seems that people do not know the difference between an intelligent person and a genius.

1. no one is 100% in everything, so academic intelligence has no influence on the other forms of intelligence(i mean the other 10^n aspects of life)

2.  we humans are at least intelligent in something therefore a genius is a person whose ability is multiplied by n (meaning infinity) in things that he knows how to do best. this means that in compesation his abilities in other aspects is also multiplied by 1/n.

3. few geniuses in the likes of einstein also had what is called insight (the sense of viewing things in a way that isn't physical ou normal), which i believe is gift from God, so in compensation he lacked in other aspects due to the fact that he was also human.

4. a genius will always be recognized worldwide because he is born to be successful, the fact that he was born rich or poor doesn't have anything to do with this. Like pastor chris said, 'success has nothing to do with ur education,grades,family background,erros, it is simply spiritual, 

one more time no offence, just wanted to clarify your thoughts on who a genius is. GOD BLESS

@poster
thanks for this one. it got me really cracking up,
who no go run