₦airaland Forum

the following conversation took place in baba ibeji grammar school:

TEACHER: you over there on the second sit of the 5th role! why are u sleeping during my class? stand up now and
spell 'POST OFFICE'
STUDENTstands up, crying) please sa, i no know. abeg.

TEACHERfurious) what! you mean you can't spell?! i won´t admit you in my class anymore unless you go home and bring ur father! now get out!

*the student cries as he goes home to get his father. he suddenly meets a mad man on his way who stopped him to know why he was crying. the mad man convinces the student to go along with him as his father to the school after he explains everything to him.
AT THE SCHOOL
'the mad man scares every soul as he enters the class'
TEACHERvery scared) who are you? are you his father? what ,

MAD MANcuts in) why did you decided to send him out because he couldn't get a spelling? do you think you can spell everything? eh?

TEACHERconfidently) of course am the teacher here.

MAD MANWHISTLES LOUDLY WITH SEVERAL DIFFERENT VARIATIONS) NOW SPELL IT!!!

TEACHER:

here in my school in brasil the most difficult is electrical/electronics engineering followed by aeronautic eng., physics,pure maths,bio. medical eng.,medicine,law,chemical eng., mec. engineering, down to history

lmão

being caught shitting on the bed's better than what he was in the dream. i would personally thank my wife for waking me up

@poster
nice but the first one got me cracking up.

@poster
very nice, i'ld try the same thing

the poster dey craze

harrison, a tall well built good looking young man has something all women cherish in a man (hugh privates,almost extending to his knee) but there seems to be a very big problem preventing him from getting even 1 single lady(as nigerians would say) . HIS VOICE, as tiny as the first string of a guitar. one day he decides to see a doctor as his situation gets unbearable.
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

HARRISONwith his tiny voice to the doctor) i need help sir,the nature of my voice prevents me from having ladies around me not to talk of having an affair.

DOCTORflabbergasted) this is serious! come closer let me examine you.
('harrison moves forward as the doctor begins to examine him')

DOCTOR: JESUS WEPT! did you ever discover that your privates is so hugh that it pulls your voice cord? the only solution to this problem is an operation to reduce it's size which could commence anytime you want.

HARRISONtiny voice) please. let it commence right away i can't wait.
('the operation was successful, his dignity as a man is restored to normal(his voice). he thanks the doctor and leaves hurriedly for action)

two weeks later: he returns to the doctor's

HARRISONwith a normal man's voice) i can't understand whatz going on.the women are now telling that my privates is damn too tiny for my size and that it's is better off the way it was.(he asks with a funny look) now doctor tell me, is the process reversible?

DOCTOR TINY VOICE) NO!

na school level my people, exams and stuff. man must huzzle.

after many years in the same post, Mr chidi at last got a promotion which made him a manager. he got an office of his own  with a telephone, airconditioned and everything a good office could have infact he was so happy that he almost got nuts. during the first few days at work in his new office, someone knocked on his door:

Mr chidipicks up his phone and pretends to be having an intense conversation and at the same time shouts at the door "come in!!"

strangerenters) good day sir, i am,

mr chidi: (interupts in an angry manner) mr. man,are u blind?can´t you see that am on the phone?
(mr chidi keeps on pretending to be having the conversation and at about 5mins. later he drops the phone and asks the stranger, )

mr chidi: now mr man what did you say you wanted?

stranger: am here to repair your phone.

mr chidi:

@poster
u bad o!

thanks my guy,i was busy with a project. now am less busy i hope.
anyway it's always nice on nairaland.

A certain man visited a pet shop and decided to get one for himself as his attention was drawn to 2 parrots. He calls on the shop keeper for information.

MAN: my guy how much does each bird cost?

SHOP KEEPER: oga u see, , one cost pass the other. one fit sing and the other no fit so,

MAN: (CUTS IN) could you please tell me the prices?

SHOP KEEPER: the one wey fit sing costs 300 naira and the one wey no fit costs 850 naira.

MANANNOYED) which kind yawa be this? how bird wey no dey sing go cost pass the one wey fit?

SHOP KEEPER: take am easy oga, the one wey fit sing be the musician and the one wey no fit be the composer.

u wicked o!

that was sweet

rivaldo esupofo

never seen it before.anyway i found it nice.

@poster
thanks for making my day

@mailmaniac
i still can´t believe that a retarded animal like u is calling human being pentium one fuckin' shit, well as it was said, 'strange things would happen in the end time'.
@sauce and ify
now u saucekid begin to screw ify,she needs your contaminated nutrients to replenish her brain function even though she may end up retarded like mailmaniac.

damn! una don destroy this thread for the few days i was out. na wa for un O
riddles and joke people
what goes around the world and stays in a corner is a STAMP, no one got that right.

dude u now realize that this isn't the real world , killing urself to catch a little fish and trying to convince tufe and ify, what a pathetic lone vert. as the story goes 'u want to eat meat, call malu egbon'. it's better for to go after live girls instead of virtual ones afterall benin's got lots of good looking girls on the streets.are u that hideous

@maniac
ok, na gentlemen like you go turn ur wife into punching bag and am sure u never had a girlfriend before. now, get these things into ur legs cos no more space in ur brains:
1. this is a site
2. everything here is virtual, it's like owning a second life
3. u're fuckin' dumb that u try to relate ur personal life to a thread

one more thing, u feel u're better than people from the stone age?now tell me what u've got that they haven't or is it ur black and white tv(president) or ur kick and start volkswagen, ur god forsaken shoes and wears, ur exponencially depreciated way of reasoning. look i'ld advice that u go back to the stone age to learn the basic things of life.

@poster
could you put down a write up on 'the world without men'? am sure that u'ld start crying before finishing the write up

na common fanta make am be like that, what if na beer?

@ify
wtf, u wouldn't want me to loose the respect i got for you?would u? so, if you got any problem maybe menstruation tension or a fight with ur husband or whatever don't get it on me.ok?

back to the riddles, the answer to riddle no. 2 is[b] FOOTSTEPS[/b]
one more
what goes around the world and stays in a corner?

how you go take understand me when u dey busy scratching all over the infected area just take care make u no wound am the more

@poster
pls would you kindly tell me why the man was shouting 'last fight'?

na him right hand man na, who else but 'saucekid'

@migs
this thread wasn't made for pussies like you, so don't ever post here again.

kai!! infact that's a very good butt,i can tell when i see a good one
@clemcy
with due respect, what do you think of em, a vacation?u and i.