₦airaland Forum

ayusco85: Hateful? Really?? Dude u need to improve on ur english skills. Pls don't quote me again

hahaha...
alright. I won't quote you again. have a nice week

ayusco85: Rearrange? Really? That's the analogy u want to use? When has commissioning a project be likened to rearranging?

excuse my french, why the fuq are you so hateful.anyway I used 'rearrange' cod I early started my state with 'room' that was just an illustration and the way i see it, you're deviating from our main topic.

ayusco85: How come goodluck only commissions projects in PDP states? So APC states should go to hell I hate nigerian politics

**Goodluck jonathan, diving Nigeria across ethinic and political line since 2009***

how will you go to someone's room to rearrange it when he ain't ready for the arrangement, and he doesn't want to see you?

elthakeyz: those armed men are not africans, this is a big time conspiracy and those behind it would not prosper. they know fully well that it is contagious and even if they are exposed they would get a probable secret cure. why would anyone in his right mind free ebola patients?

jeez! you mean they're not Africans? please give me a reputable source I need to confirm this!
men... whites are at it again if its true.
But what did Africa do to them. after willingly becoming their slaves both physically n mentally, they still want to wipe all out?....

R2bees: look up for the meaning of banter

I already know man.
besides we're not in an english class

R2bees: banter!!! banter!!! banter!!! Nigerians eeh

still don't get you.

adonis89: share ur thoughts pls. M becoming suspicious abt it too

just forget it for now.

R2bees: APC!! at work

many are mad, few are roaming.

but before this my ^^^ statement apply to you, what's your full meaning of APC?

damn!

what's wrong with us!
this whole thing(ebola and its subsequent news) is becoming suspicious.
my thoughts remain personal for now...

thegoodjoehunt3: Yoruba Herbalist claims he can cure Ebola.
https://www.nairaland.com/1860650/cure-ebola-yoruba-herbs#25538861

I feel he should be given a chance.

no... instead should be arrested...
do you know how many people claim to have cure for HIV?

Yungwizzzy: Good day great minds of the this section

I'm so passionate in learning java, I've gone thru some threads here seen some tutorials on YouTube, but the stuf is still not clean

Abeg some body should tell me In plain understandable Naija language the softwares/application I need to download or install to start programming in java

I know of java jdk(don't know the version tho)
I know notepad ++
I know eclipse ide(don't know the version)

these are the few kits I've been able to read up online

please someone help with the full list of the kits, versions and probably the download link

and also can I go out and buy those softwares cds and install them myself?


NB: I don't have any prior knowledge in programing


Thanks in advance

is this not Yungwizzy the brother of Andyblaze, the two hoax posters?
Yungwizzy is this one of your hoax?

anyway you need jdk7 (usually written jdk1.7) or the latest jdk 8 and note anyone you are downloading download it with its doc file. preferably go to their official site. oracle.com click on download and select your choice of jdk version.
then if you think you need an IDE(its important for future use)
try out eclipse, its one of the most popular (if not)
to download it go to eclipse.org select your prefered version and your machine(your PC os, linux, mac, windows.)

hope this helps.

Idrismusty97: I think say that one na pesticide too?

according to America the pesticide testers

Bluetooth2: Shame on Obama

like seriously, fuçk him!.
but we should not rely on this

mzlizabelle: [color=#006600][/color]


No be small.

hahaha... give am this post after reading him go smile.

mzlizabelle: Lmao.
You know what? I just had a quarrel with popman and the man was sitting beside me while I was reading this hilarious piece, I tried not to laugh but when I got to the "shove the attachment into her mouth" part, mehn, I couldn't hold it in me.....i laughed and popman just said "emi ko loun fi rerin,awon ebi iya e loun fi rerin.... meaning "I'm not the one you're laughing @,your mother's relatives are the ones you're laughing @.

your pops man dey vex oh

Yemisi63: A friend once swore she was going to help me get a job.
Few days after, I received a call from one lady while I was having my hair washed at a saloon. She told me my friend spoke to her about me and she requested we meet at a named 3 star hotel immediately or lose the 'big opportunity' for a job. With my hair still dripping wet, I dashed home and changed into something decent. As soon as I got there, someone directed me to the hotel's garden. Seated there were 3 guys and a lady. All of them wore a yellow t-shirt and they were fiddling with a laptop.
Oh, so I'm going to be registering SIM cards for MTN, I thought.
The first question she asked was if I am a computer literate.
"Yes" I quickly responded.
"Great! I'm actually a HR officer. My client will conduct the interview herself but I had to meet you first to be sure I'm recommending the right person.."

"I am the right person ma" I affirmed.

"Are you born again??" She asked.

That question knocked me off my feet.
Judging from that, It was obvious I was going to be an accountant for Deeper Life Church.
"Yes..I'm born again ma.'' I replied trying not to mince words.

"Beautiful!!" She exclaimed.
"Your interview is going to be at No bla bla bla by 9am on Saturday...its a new plaza in town. I don't need to go into the details of the job but I'm positive you're going to love it. Send your CV to bla bla bla mail. Also make copies of all your credentials and take it along. And pleases do something about that hair before Saturday. First impression matters you know." she added.

End of first interview. I heaved a sigh of relief and left the hotel.

Friday morning, sickness struck. Headache, fever remixed with cold and catarrh.
I contemplated between using the little money I had to make my hair or using the money to buy drugs and LIVE.
"Make your hair, get the job and use your salary to buy a pharmacy." The devil commanded.

If I pass the interview, the sickness might disappear out of excitement, I thought.
The next morning, I was on my way to the interview with the most painful Ghana braids on my hair. My bad health was not helping matters.
To be honest, the malaria had me looking like a fairly used chicken.
I also went with a Ghana must go bag of all my certificates (except my death certificate) only to realise it was a small ugly, stuffy bookshop without a standing/ceiling fan to cool down my temper.
My temper at that point was capable of boiling yam for a family of 3.
If I had my way, I would have tattooed the meaning of plaza on the HR forehead. Smh
My potential employer had not arrived yet so I used the opportunity to peruse the books on a dusty shelf.
A couple of Joyce Meyer books, books on wildlife, one Daily Manna devotional, Igbo men success stories books, history books, a couple of encyclopedia, and some other random boring looking books.
By 9:30, Madam CEO arrived and the interview process commenced.
She fired me a number of JAMB questions like she was sent to hire me as an accountant for Aso Rock.

As God would have it, I impressed her.

Then she began her speech...
"This plastic chair you are sitting on is going to be your office. You are to report from Monday to Saturday and your job runs from 8am to 6pm."

Before I could utter, what time will I use to search for a husband then?
She cut me and continued her cool story.
"You are the customer care representative, office assistant, and marketer of this place."
Upon hearing that, I had to peep at the wall mirror to check whether I have three heads. Does this woman think my head is 3 in one or what?
She went on...

"You would also assist Lilian, the sales girl in drawing accounts. Every Wednesday is marketing days. You are to take some of the books to churches, banks and offices to sell them. These are nice books so its going to be easy for you. That should enable you network."

Wonderful! With this sort of job, my salary should be such that I would be able to ride a Buggati to my village in 6 months time.

She was not done with me...

As a customer care rep, you have to try to read all the books in this shop. People will call to request information about one book or the other that's why."
My head harddrive had crashed upon hearing that.
Are you kidding me? Woman, I don't even read sign board these days!
I didn't want to hear more.
"How much is my salary?" I deadpanned

She paced around for a few seconds before dropping the bombshell.
"Salary is N10000!"

The last time I checked, Nigeria abolished slavery.
I broke into laughter. A laughter of misery and frustration.
To add insult to the injury, she began to yak on how there are no jobs in Nigeria. In her words "I better accept the offer. People will kill to have this job."

Even if I were stupid enough to take the shitty job, my transportation to and fro the bookshop was roughly N8000 a month. Tithe is 1k. Basically, I'll go home with 1K every month at my age, stage and relationship status?

Waste of Ghana braids!
I just wanted to loosen my braids there in her office and force her to swallow the attachment.
"Thank you madam for your offer!" I muttered.
If I had spent an extra minute in there, I would have probably be tumbling down the book shelves.

I packed what was left of my dignity and sicknesses and hurried out of her book kiosk.
As for my friend, we've not spoken to ourselves since then.

Naijasinglegirl

choi choi choi...this script need to be forwarded to nollywood.

duni04: Oga i'm sorry to say but its you that is ignorant. The body in Nigeria responsible for testing experimental drugs is NAFDAC. If NAFDAC doesn't want to test a drug for whatever reason, the Lagos state government has the right not to allow the use of an untested drug within its domain. When the WHO said it was ethical to use experimental drugs for the treatment of ebola, they were referring to drugs that have at least passed trials in animals but hadn't been tested on humans. Nobody knows the effect of nanosilver on animals or even humans because it has never been tried! Nobody even knows who the makers are or their location. Its a big scam!

ok, if at all NAFDAC refused testing the drug then Lagos state gov't is right. if you read some of my post, you'll know I suggested trial on animals.

Tashamania: I dont think they would either. I'm just saying I know Fashola would never support the use of the trial drugs.
what beats my imagination is the way these people (US) volunteered to help us with the US troop for the Chibok girls thingy (which they never helped us find anyways) and now cant help us with the drugs

Fashola refusing this test drug shows he's daft(IMO) at least it should have been tested on maybe monkeys before refusal, this just shows he's ignorant and unwilling to learn new things but depends on some 'saviour' from the pit of hell.
let me stop here...

now pertaining America rushing to help us on chibok issue... hehehe...
those guys are the oppressors. if you followed their everything(including arrival in nigeria) pertaining chibok rescue. you'll know that they wanted to bring their drones here (Imagine!) to put us under surveillance and you know we'll be perpetually under them if the drone stuff was accepted. so they had to go cos there's nothing again to gain from naija.

hope you get my 'rant'

Peppyluv: And he is from 'that region' according to calebo101

most definitely...
he sounds like...one of em

BedLam: Do you have a picture or video clip of a Yankee scientist testing ZMAPP on monkeys?

then what did they use. abi them just wake up, administer on some body? are you this daft?

Tashamania: Confusing. I trust stubborn Governor Fashola too, he would never give in

and you think America will send you/us Zmapp?
I doubt it cos they'll definitely want something in return. which is neither your oil nor your money...

sexyseun: you suppose knw na

ok ok ok... I now understand.
you look sexy tho, from your profile

na wa oh....
that's all I can say.

sexyseun: The truth is even though majority of us here criticize it, over half of unmarried couple cohabitate. I remember when i was in school i was living with my BF, staying with him gave me a sense of direction as he was a serious and focused guy, Damn!!! that guy get principle sha.. we would wake together, pray together, go to the library together, he fixes my assignments, he advices me, he was like my elder brother,i couldnt even think of cheating on him because i had it going well, as soon as he graduated things changed and then i became SEXYSEUN.
My point is, it all boils down to the individual you are cohabitating with, marriage doesnt change anybody its just a way of telling people officially that we are cohabitating for life. I have got many couple who initially lived together and ended up as lovely husband and wife and same i had couple who went straight into marriage(after normal dating iissh) and now headed for divorce....













It all boils down to what you both decide and not Nairalander's comments

hehehehe true true n true.

bur sisi abeg gist me on how you became SEXYSUEN

y'all forgot to note this OP is already using this post to control many of you.(your mind)

Michaellegend: 12: Money: money is the language modern people understand and its the best mind control.

brother, this does not control only the mind but the full being. it controls the complete man!

Osama10: This country can only get worse.

I wanted to say something different to you but as I saw your name... I remember you're a son of destruction.

its good. it has never been a good idea

Ptoocool: Yea, i am..u've qot α problem with dat?

ok. I've got no problem.
but no vex oh

IamGodzilla: Join the url together

ok. I've seen it.
mehn am low on data, the size is big.
later I'll try it

Ptoocool: ε possible??
Thuqs been on hiqhway since 17bc

I guess you're one. that's why you made this statement

Jregz: are you on mobile ? click "Skip ads"

am on mobile.
its not the issue of skipping ad cos the page doesn't even open.