₦airaland Forum

internetpirate:
Assuming it is your personal slang for your friends etc, do you think it's particularly intelligent/wise to use it in a public forum? Since you are so good in English and deliberately choose words at random! Part of English writing is the address to "audience" and one chooses words that are most appropriate to the audience. What you use for informal narratives is not the same with what you use for formal narratives!

Now, don't take this personal, but I just feel it's time to speak up on this growing trend on Nairaland! Someone writes atrocious English, and when corrected, the bandwagon descends on the critic, often suggesting that he/she should draw meaning from the mumbo-jumbo, instead of correcting the anomaly and setting a standard for intelligent discourse!

Why I am gravely worried by this trend is because I see it as a reflection of our Nigerian society where mediocrity, poor controls and lack of excellence are rife! We spend time chanting change, yet the change we truly need is a "mindset change"!!! Can we start aiming for the sky in all our endeavours?!!!
Can we start criticising our general performance through structured reviews so that lessons-learnt can reflect in improved performance

Cousin brother doesn't seem like a major faux pas (no matter how you try to burnish it!), but it is part of the canker worms that are eating at our national marrow!! My apologies my "cousin sister"!!

abeg o..all dis long talk becus someone said cousin brother...okey o.

dustmalik:
My fear is, this may lead to civil war, God forbid. GEJ is too desperate, doing all he can to win this election. May God help us in this country.

will u shut up civil war my foot..amechi is shocked dat he is lossing his own state hence he is resorting to last plan

akinsadeez:
You still don't get it. Chad forces are currently in control of some towns with Nigerian army nowhere to be found. They have been shouting that the Nigerian army should cone and take over those towns yet nobody is answering them. If they abandon those towns boko haram will take them over again
Didn't you read d part where their president said that they have to retake some towns twice from boko haram because anytime they leave without handing over to the Nigerian army the boko guys will just come back. That is what the president is angry about. He said ordinarily they should be fighting alongside Nigerian forces not fighting alone. Now chad is in control of some towns in Nigerian territory. Thats wrong.

hw do you expect nig.forces to take over rm chad....wat of da elections wat of da areas were da nig.army liberated who ll secure ese ones....abeg bro read btw da lines.........GEJ deciving usa and eir alliea since 2011

TI1919:
That amount is too small, I will suggests that INEC should increase the amount to 100k for both Presidential and governorship election and the corpers should be well protected from thugs and the rest of them.

come bros you be thief?

EroticAngelina:
Aint nothing sexy 'bout a bag of rice sized boobz and flat sagged asss
too much of everything is not good.

speak for ya self my dearie...does who av let flunt it

GeneralBosco:

Please if you intend deceiving yourself, do that solely without misleading the public. Patience Jonathan is only interested in her husband's reelection and not women empowerment. In her about 5 years of being First Lady what programmes has she created?? What empowerment has she provided for women in different parts of the country? That's the empowerment we're talking about not going around shouting and insulting opposition like a mad woman

Installing the First Lady seat is not woman empowerment, it is what is done with that seat afterwards that matters. One would expect Patience Jonathan to list out how she has empowered women during her and her husband's 5 year tenure but instead she goes about creating hate and encouraging disunity with her hate induced speeches.

re you sure u ve been in Nigeria for da past 5 yrs??or re u just blinded and mislead by hate and stupid malevolence ??who does nt kw da works of mama peace

Truckpusher:
Of course I will after you're done with your mom's tiit.

and u just had to reply a dumb fellow....my dear learn nt to bring urself down to da illitrate nature of this APC robots

DaBullIT:
it almost sounded as if she had any brain

shut da Bleep up and listen wen ur elders re speaking.smh as if any female in ur village infact state has done half of wat she is doing..she has redefined female participation in the Nigerian politics,she is the most active first lady in the world,she has brough feminism to Nigeria..and yet u open ur cesspit to say she has no brains......dare to go infront of her and say it metcheweeeweee

all dis lie lie people saying she looked better wen dark..abegi make una go sidon for corner una blindbt dat does nt excuse her self hate though

Yomieluv:
One remote village in the east.

Yoruba ladies are too intelligent to do this...

you and your cohorts re the reason naija will neva move 4ward next tin we kw u start shouting change.............fyi eastern village girl got swags or dont you wanna lick my olange

two fat bitches the one to the ryt looks lyk a gymer the other ones cute though

tobtap:
IMAGINE THE STENCH OF THAT ROOM ALONE....

na lie o dat room looks very clean and organised

Rextayne:
If this is true, then he did well.
Click like for GMB
Click share for GEJ.

and some mumus be clicking abd shareing

kowema:
Ok, This happened right before my eyes inside BRT yesterday..I just got back from church and decided to take a BRT bus from Cele to Ikotun..During rush hours like Say between 6:30 a.m-12pm/ 2pm-7:30pm, The regular buses hype their fare from #100 to about 300 naira........it gets really annoying that many people wud rather queue for hours , waiting for BRT buses that charges a constant fare of 50 naira.......This being the case, most times, u can find like 2 sections of people waiting for the BRT bus...The Standing and the Sitting section , with each section containing like 200 n more people respectively (No jokes oh)Depending on the time and location.....E.g Oshodi-Apapa and back BRT Stands, Cele-Ikotun stands etc.....

When I got to the BRT stand, I decided to join the standing Queue that seemed to have lesser number of people... By the time it got to my turn, The bus was so full to the Brim.....A standard BRT bus can take about 45 sitters and then say 49 standers..NB: (Its the loaders and drivers that choke up the bus Cus they get to share the fare from the standers hence the more standers, the more money to share per time)..... You can now imagine how choked up the bus was but I still insisted I must enter the Bus...I had to struggle my way into the bus interior to find a reasonable place to stand, even though other passengers kept saying "No Space, Where u dey go?, Oti Kun" etc....... Finally, One good Samaritan man Cleared a Space in front of him for me and I thanked him and entered.Little did I know that this man was on heat and needed to express his Libido.

The bus moved almost immediately and the next thing o, this man started taking advantage of portholes......When we get to a porthole which wud always make the bus stagger, this man wud just thrust forward without conrol and hit me with his pelvic region...Ah ah!, Initially mehn!, I said to my self " Na the port Hole they cause am "...Each time, I was doing my best to create space between us but the man somehow use porthole excuse to close the gap...in like few mins to our journey, I realized that this man no longer had a flat Pelvis oh!, it was now a growing Protrusion.Henh!, That was when I decided I'm migrating Mbok!. I bin want shout for am but I remembered he was the one who offered me space so I just jejely pushed my way to his back.....He turned and looked at me n I maintained my cool to avoid drama.....I left the girl that was in front of Me at his mercy and I was watching from behind...

I pity the girl o, cause there was traffic....After like 30 secs, he closed the gap I left and started devouring this mumu girl way no notice.......I was watching his body language...After some time he started shaking and sweating , That was the moment......He Ejaculated....Gross!!!!.....He then crossed one of his leg on the other so the Liquid wudnt fall and people wudnt notice....That was when I saw the wet patches on his jeans .......One old mama and another girl also noticed but we just laughed and faced our journey.............How Shameless!!!!!

babe see your big yansh hw da guy no go get erection you for just shake yansh small for am na

click like if you opened this tread because you saw "treatens to sanction Amechi" en closed when u realised it was nt Rotimi

timilehing:
Can someone explain what's going on cos here in France, I don't know what you talking about

bros dats coca-cola its "everywere you go"

tola9ja:
GMB only needs 25% in that state and we are sure of at least between 40 and 50%. The calculation and permutations are not affected a bit.

When any of the following permutations change, wake me:
APC Northen States Assured:
1. Bauchi
2. Borno
3. Gombe
4. Jigawa
5. Kaduna
6. Kano
7. Katsina
8. Kebbi
9. Niger
10. Sokoto
11. Yobe
12. Zamfara
13. Adamawa
14. Kwara
15. Nassarawa
16. Taraba

APC SW States Assured
1. Lagos
2. Osun
3. Oyo
4. Ogun

APC 25% or more. APC can actually win Ondo, Kogi, Plateu and Benue.
1. Edo
2. Rivers
3. Plateau
4. Ekiti
5. Ondo
6. Imo
7. Benue
8. Kogi

IF YOU FAIL TO KNOW BY NOW THAT GEJ IS DONE AND DUSTED, PREPARE FOR HEART ATTACK

in ur dreams we re talking abt the presidential election u re giving figures for governotorial election. plateau, nassarawa, rivers, "imo"benue,___in your dreams...GEJ TILL EDUCATION BECOMES OUTDATED

rubey:
The only thing I do whenever I am going to my bf's house is:
Plan to sleep over

lucky guy. if I were him and you sleep over I hope you know what's next.... after all fyn gal lyk you will be so conji inspiring

VickyyB:
Her asss isn't visible.
You haven't seen my own boobs.

yes but I've seen hers. and you know what they say ::if you've got it............. .

[quote author=jacksparrow1207 post=30083157]Boss autocorrect cant change 'thread' to 'trend'. Mba!!! Jst accept your mistake honourably [/ Baba ma guy dat tin don tey obeni calm down ]

onila:
That Ghanaian ashawo has been around

ashawo 2 kobo

babe i used dat your profil pic as my watsapp profil pic omo come see questions

VickyyB:
She over edited and i'm still prettier than her.

your claim took confidence and i admire dat but sweeri did you c dat gals ass and boobs chai abeg o no tink am

lacasa:
Yes, youths don't think, and obviously u r their spokesman.


Sanusi blew the trumpet on $20billion yes or no?


And every sensible nigerian wants a president who doesn't believe stealing is not corruption


Wise up!

bros same way you re taking me out of contest is same way u re quoteing our president out of context....nw i said since he became emir nt be4

eedriyz:
If someone is not thinking then it's YOU. Sanusi became the Emir of Kano and that means his business is KANO, not CBN anymore. Maybe you should think again and stop typing anything you want

One question for you is where is the $20b?

read propely pls be4 repling me..is kano nt part of nigeria?do you know hw many votes sanusis endorsment will get buari

lacasa:
Word!


GEJ wanted to play God.


Now, he's paying homage to the same noble man he hounded for blowing the lid on thievery.


#... God works in HIS own Uniique way


#GMB2015

nigerian youths dont think. the jona sanusi saga was just dat ---saga since sanusi became emir has he said a word against jonathan?ask yourself y has sanusi nt endosed buari.and finnaly ask yourself y will a 75 year old ex-coup plotter become my president

TochiPhotos:
"Uncle let's show you our pose" #HumansOfLagos #LittleHumans

i love what you are doing. keep it up its inspiring......

you are all welcome my only regret is that i missed putting quotes from my greatest villian of all times "king julian":its julianuary were everyone gives presents to me

I would be going to see my project suprvisor tomorrow in my capacity as a 400l econs student. So a question came to my mind:after this what will i do with my project?So i taught of creating a tread were past students can post their projects and refrence material.Hey its time your project became usefull again.so let have it.......here is a sample of what i mean

1
Frozen ( 2013 )
Olaf: Hi, everyone. I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs!
2
Shrek ( 2001)
Gingy: Ok, ok...I'll tell you. Do you know the
Muffin Man?
Farquad: The Muffin Man?
Gingy: The Muffin Man.
Farquad: Yes, I know the Muffin Man. Who lives
on Drury Lane?
Gingy: Well...she's married to...the Muffin Man.
Farquad: The Muffin Man?
Gingy: The Muffin Man!
Farquad: She's married to the Muffin Man?
3
Wreck-It Ralph ( 2012)
Wreck-It Ralph : I'm bad, and that's good. I will
never be good, and that's not bad. There's no
one I'd rather be than me.
4
Tangled ( 2010 )
Flynn Rider : You were my new dream.
Rapunzel: And you were mine.
5
Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox ( 2013 )
Nora Allen: Barry, when I was a little girl,
Grandma taught me a prayer: Accept the things
you cannot change. Have the courage to change
the things you can... And have the wisdom to
know the difference.
Young Barry: ...I don't totally get that.
Nora Allen: Heh, you will.
Quantom X
6
Team America: World Police ( 2004)
Gary Johnston: We're dicks! We're reckless,
arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild
are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole.
Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get
bleeped by dicks. But dicks also Bleep assholes:
assholes that just want to shit on everything.
Pussies may think they can deal with assholes
their way. But the only thing that can Bleep an
asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem
with dicks is: they Bleep too much or Bleep when it
isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show
them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full
of shit that they become assholes themselves...
Because pussies are an inch and half away from
ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy,
crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let
us Bleep this asshole, we're going to have our
dicks and pussies all covered in shit!
7
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut ( 1999)
Cartman: Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!
[Gasp from the class.]
Mr. Garrison: Eric! Did you just say the "F" word?
Cartman: [confused.] Jew?
Kyle: No, not Jew! He's talking about "Bleep"! You
can't say "Bleep" in school, you fucking fat ass!
Mr. Garrison: Kyle!
Cartman: Why the Bleep not?
Mr. Garrison: Eric!
Stan: Dude, you just said "Bleep" again!
Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
Kenny: [Muffled.] Bleep.
Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt
anybody. Bleep fuckety Bleep Bleep Bleep.
Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the
school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
[Gasp from the class.]
Mr. Garrison: What did you say?
Cartman: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Actually, what I
said was...
[Cartman pulls out a bullhorn.]
Cartman: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY
BALLS? MR. Garrison.
Stan: Holy shit, dude.
8
The Lego Movie ( 2014 )
Batman: If this relationship is going to work out
between us I need to feel free to party with a
bunch of strangers whenever I feel like it. I will
text you.
9
Shrek Forever After ( 2010 )
Shrek: You know, I always thought I'd rescued
you from the Dragon's Keep.
Princess Fiona : You did.
Shrek: No. It was you who rescued me.
10
Who Framed Roger Rabbit ( 1988 )
Roger Rabbit: No! Not my Jessica! Not pattycake!
It can't be! It just can't be! Jessica's my wife!
It's absolutely impossible! Jessica's the love of
my life. The apple of my eye. The cream in my
coffee.
Eddie Valiant: Well you better start drinking it
black, Acme's taking the cream now.
11
Aladdin ( 1992 )
Aladdin : Wish fulfillment?
Genie : Three wishes, to be exact. And ixnay on
the wishing for more wishes. That's all. Three.
Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges or
refunds.
12
Free Birds ( 2013 )
Indian Chief: Those are some angry birds.
13
How to Train Your Dragon ( 2010 )
Hiccup: I really did hit one!
Gobber : Sure!
Hiccup: He never listens!
Gobber : Runs in the family!
Hiccup: And when he does its always with this
disappointed scowl, like some one skimmed on
the meat in his sandwich. 'Excuse me barmaid,
I'm afraid you brought me the wrong offspring! I
ordered an extra large boy with beefy arms, extra
guts and glory on the side. This here, this is a
talking fish-bone!'
Gobber : Now, you're thinking about this all
wrong! It's not so much what you look like, it's
what's inside that he can't stand.
Hiccup: Thank you for summing that up!
Gobber : Look the point is, stop trying so hard to
be something you're not.
14
Shrek 2 ( 2004 )
Captain of the Guards: Yep, that's catnip...
Puss-in-Boots: Um... That's... Not mine.
15
Kung Fu Panda ( 2008)
Oogway: Your mind is like the water. When it is
agitated it becomes difficult to see, but when you
let it settle, the answer becomes clear.
16
Toy Story 3 ( 2010 )
Buzz Lightyear : Quiet, musical hog!
17
Scooby-Doo! Stage Fright ( 2013)
Shaggy: We need aspirin, a chiropractor, and
some baby oil. Right now!
Quantom X
18
The Incredibles ( 2004 )
Frozone : Honey?
Honey: What?
Frozone : Where's my super suit?
Honey: What?
Frozone : Where is my super suit?
Honey: I uh - put it away.
Frozone : Where?
Honey: Why do you need to know?
Frozone : I need it!
Honey: Nuh uh! Don't you think about leaving to
do some derrin' do! We've been planning this
dinner for two months!
Frozone : The public is in danger!
Honey: My evening's in danger!
Frozone : You tell me where my suit is woman!
This is for the greater good!
Honey: I am your wife! I am the greatest 'good'
you are ever gonna get!
19
LEGO Batman: The Movie - DC Super Heroes
Unite ( 2013 )
[Superman and Batman walk up to Lex's
receptionist.]
Superman: We're here to see Lex Luthor.
Receptionist: And you are?
Batman: ...seriously?
Receptionist: Seriously.
Superman: I'm Superman, he's... Batman.
Receptionist: Are those last names?
20
The Simpsons Movie ( 2007)
Lisa: I haven't seen you in school.
Colin: Just moved from Ireland. My dad's a
musician.
Lisa: Is he...
Colin: He's not Bono.
Lisa: I just thought, because you're Irish and you
care about...
Colin: He's NOT Bono.
21
Megamind ( 2010 )
Megamind: You dare challenge Megamind?
Titan: This town isn't big enough for two super-
villians.
Megamind: Oh, you're a villain all right. Just not
a super one.
Titan: Yeah? What's the difference?
Megamind: PRESENTATION!
22
Puss in Boots ( 2011 )
Puss in Boots : Fear me, if you dare!
23
Brave ( 2012)
Princess Merida: If you had a chance to change
your fate, would you?
24
Tom and Jerry's Giant Adventure ( 2013 )
Red: Magic harp, final tone. Guide these heroes
safely home!
Quantom X
25
The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the
Unicorn
( 2011 )
Tintin : We failed.
Captain Haddock : Failed. There are plenty of
others willing to call you a failure. A fool. A loser.
A hopeless souse. Don't you ever say it of
yourself. You send out the wrong signal, that is
what people pick up. Don't you understand? You
care about something, you fight for it. You hit a
wall, you push through it. There's something you
need to know about failure, Tintin. You can never
let it defeat you.
26
Finding Nemo ( 2003 )
Gurgle: Oh, the human mouth is a disgusting
place.
27
Ice Age 4: Continental Drift ( 2012 )
Gastornis bird chicks: When you drink water
through your trunk, does it taste like boogers?
Ellie : Uh no... Well... Sometimes, Now let's move!
28
Horton Hears a Who ( 2008 )
Katie: In my world everyone is a pony, and they
all eat rainbows, and poop butterflies.
29
A Christmas Carol ( 2009 )
Ebenezer Scrooge: What do you want with me?
Jacob Marley: You will be haunted by three
spirits.
Ebenezer Scrooge: I'd rather not.
30
Lilo & Stitch ( 2002 )
Dance Instructor: Lilo, why are you so wet?
Lilo: It's sandwich day. Every day, I give Pudge
the Fish a peanut butter sandwich. But, today we
were out of peanut butter. I asked my sister what
to give him and she said a tuna sandwich. I can't
give Pudge tuna! Do you know what tuna is?
Dance Instructor: Fish?
Lilo: IT'S FISH! If I gave Pudge tuna, I'd be an
abomination!

From the wise witty sayings of King Julian to the stupidy of Sponge bob.Or the heroic villianity of Mega mind we have all had cartoon characters that have left indelible impressions in our minds.....so here you upload the pic of your best cartoon character **note** cartoons open for considration must not date beyond 2010