Seeing that this poor lad was of no use to em,they tossed me out of a moving vehicle in the dark..

Na job I find come warri but now am soiled up in my own worries,wetin i go do now,am stranded and to top up my problems i don't have a dine with me, deep inside i just uttered this three words to my sub conscious,(I DON DIE).

While wandering about with the bruises i had gotten from being violently tossed out,i jam this church wey dey do revival,wasn't so sure if it was a revival or get together,i sneaked in nd layed my behind on a chair nd within some seconds i blended with the crowd shouting halleluyah nd all while nurturing the hope that there was gonna be a buffet of some sort to eat from,cz i could smell the strong aroma of jollof rice in the air.

I clapped,yelled as if i was thrilled nd submerged in the holy spirit, but it was all a faux(LIE)cz na food tinz carry me come the church,I could see some coolers well positioned @ a precise angle in the confines of the church and i was hundred percent certain they contained food..within some minutes into my intense shouting and rantings i became overly exhausted and just slept off on the tiny chair i sat on,by the time i was awake they had already served and all that littered the tiled floor were bits and pieces of take away plates, con see as I cry,I really wept my reservior out.

A lady walked up to me and inquired from me why i was crying, instead of spilling out the truth to her that i missed out on the food, i told her i was filled up with the holy spirit and that I was in a transe of some sort which inturn evoked my tears..

It was noon already and cocks were cookroodooing all abt,I took my leave from the church and like a compass without a bearing i wandered abt hoping to locate the spot were i was picked and abducted from or better still kidnapped from,na that day i know say warri big no be small coz i no get the spot @ all.

I walked up to a couple and asked if they could be of help to me coz my stomach by then was awry and in need of something to take in,they first sized me up from my bald head down to toe nd just retorted by saying,u are wearing a TM lewin nd a pair of top notch loafers nd u are here begging for money,we wey u dey beg sef no dress reach u,,,abegi park well they said to me and they just waved their fingers to dismiss me off,when has it become a crime to dress well and after all everything i had on were mere imitations and not the real deal so to say.

Na then I know say to dress well sef no dey make sense in some cases,so instead i commot my shirt i squeeze am and i chuck am inside my pocket nd took of a feet of my loafers and chuck am inside my pocket too,now i looked like a guy in need of some serious help.

Sighting another couple i went straight to them and asked if they could be of financial help to me.they gazed at me unceasingly for almost five minutes nd retorted that they don't give out their hard earned money to hoodlums,I looked @ myself from my slightly broad chest down to my feet and i sure looked like a tout,i tried explaining to them that i wasn't one but they just said that my likes say such tinz all the time,nawa oh the first couple said i over dressed and i decided to tune it down a little nd now this derailed couple are saying am a tout cz i took off my shirt nd tucked my loafers in my pocket.

Out of anger nd their outright underestimation of my personality,i took out my imitated Tm lewin shirt from my pocket nd my pair of loafers just to show them i had class nd swag nd started putting them on,they were shocked by what i was doing nd instantly took to their heels probably thinking that i was mad nd all,then did i realise that i was doomed,so warri go become my geographical enclave be that..more to come...watch out for more peeps.

Gexin u did Phil bk @ skul,,,loved ur quote of jean Paul satre,,he is one of my favourite existentialist philosophers.

Has the shovel not compelled me to the hollowness of the sands.

And deep down I start a new life of ease with no one to love or cling to.

When alive,you curtailed me into the pleasures of life nd got me drenched in the debts of love.

But now am a ruffled up skin with worm holes to contend with.

I was the chubby sort with a robust outlook but now am an outcast in this world. and that I seem to cherish.

Why not wish death for this fellow for amidst the thoughts of life he toiled.

The amusements of life are of ephemeral length, but I sure enjoyed mine to the brim.

Love sucks especially when u run out luck
Then u become stressed and abreast with fears
So its better to stay away,
For in that way u are gonna see another day.

Gag my soul nd tag my bone for I am no more.

Love killed me.

Hey peeps,''this Bleep rated story is a slight peep into my ordeal as a commercial sex worker...(have been there nd have done that)..but am nt ur everyday asewo,I don't lace Allen road looking for intending customers to devour me,I work through my agent,,,I av peepz who manage me nd my kinds cz d demand for our joystick is high. cz we are so rare,',,,,,,we are male ash3wo"s..away with the intro let's delve into the koko..(don't get me wrong the koko I mean here is the story nd not some wad of muscle tucked in between my thighs).

Me becoming a sex manchine didn't all start @ d blink of an eye.it took years..sit bk nd enjoy..



The rich quick syndrome is always lurking in my core central(mind),i wud take a quick glance at a car and convincingly brew up the thought of having such a sleek ride but since i was a financially condemned chap with high pitched pipe dreams(the sort that would wipe away as fast as they came)..

life for we the common folks is a hell hole and quite challenging,a friend introduced me to the bizness not until then I never really knew that male ashewo's existed,he convinced me to tag up with him in the business which I wholly refused, saying I prefer money ritual than getting tucked in some skin business..

i braved myself up nd decided to opt for a quick means through money ritual,this i thought would clear away my problems bt finding the ryt babalawo was one hell of a job, so with more trials and no luck in finding the ryt ''Babalawo'' i swayed towards sumtin else and i decided to become a sex vendor or better still an 'ASEWO'.

I had a swell time selling my body and it's kinda like a dream cum true.i wud offer my body and get wads of naira bills in return,what else could a chap ask for..

Am an asewo but not ur everyday asewo,an asewo on a different scale and level,I please people cz that's what I do best..if u are in dire need of some ecstatic sex aura feel free to reach out to me cz am gonna treat u ryt.

But now I just foung a lady I love and adore nd I really wanna kEep tinz straight with her.
I really don't know how she's gonna feel if i tell her am an ashewo cz she is the descent sort with high morals nd all..

Really afraid that am gonna loose her to the truth..the truth in most cases hurts so most time I try to stay away for it...am @ a cross road nd am blank,not sure abt what I should do...

Though i was the crusty sort with no means of livelihood and no job, but i was still the chubby kind with loose flesh padded all over my body and sagging flesh overlapping my neck,u go fink say i be butter but am far from that,na disposable spoon dey born me with nd not the silver sort, in a nutshell i wasn't born with a silver spoon.


Seeing me for the first time you would take me for a rich dude and probably the chief executive officer of a top notch oil company, but in actual reality am a broke guy without a penny lining the enclave of my pocket. Am the usual sort you would see plying the street of lagos looking for left overs or pennies to feed with.


It was a monday morning and I got a call from a friend who is based down at warri, he told me to come to warri and I should bring my resume along, that there might actually be a job opening for me in a firm as a low end clerk of some sort, the firm in question wasn't far from he's place of work, you should have seen the look on my face when he conveyed the news to me, I became wobbly like a jellyfish and just danced around.


I tidied myself up, got dressed nd headed straight to the road side, where i was sure I would get a cheap bus, the sort we broke lads do call "sole" or one chance. Cheap,rickety and amazingly fast and less I forget they are also amazingly risky if u don't know ur way around em.

I got one and within some hours I was in warri,since I Maself be confirm lasgidi chap I don expect say warri go be small fry for me.

I was well dressed,wore my best shirt and a trimmed edge tie and the best versace(imitation)pant have got in my wardrobe,i just had to make a good first impression to the company,but with the way I take dress, me myself don forget say na low end clerk job i dey go for, but all the same a sound first impression should be sought after nd na wetin I do be that.

I also wore(wait sef but how person go wear perfume wallahi oyinbo people sef get problem)a heavy scented banila cologne to top it and a set of brown loafers which i had just gotten for employment instances such as this from the ever busy katangora market and na chikini money i buy am,u'll be surprised @ what that rowdy market has to offer,market wey fit turn slum chaps to apparel celebrity..super(cantagora)I hail oh)..

I took a cab and headed to were I was to drop my resume,the cab man seeing that i am a power dresser mistook me for a rich lad whose car had just broken down and needed a cab to ease the pain of being scorched by the sun..to spoil the matter me sef come sit down for the back of the yeye warri cab as if na me own d ride.

He told me he would take me there at the rate of five hundred but I had to beat it down to three fifty because that was the last amount i was having on me..he agreed with the the bargain probably finking that have extended all my moni on my wrecked up car nd i needed to go grab some more at my house.

As i stepped into the cab i just slept off,I really didn't know what came over me or untop of me but I sure enjoyed the short nap cz i drooled on my t.m lebin (instead of lewin that's how it was spelt out on my shirt) and within minutes of me waking up i was in a building half way being completed with mask men surrounding me some even stood untop of me as if they were expecting some sort of blo..w job from me.

It was obvious,these guys were kidnappers but they just took the wrong victim,i just shake my head in pity for them say dey don carry pass their strenght today,they inquired the company i worked for and other details about my sorry as(s), i tried telling them i was no good to them but they insisted i say the truth or else i would be seriously dealth with,they started brandishing their horse whips and pankere na then i know say no be joke at all,in order to avoid more whipping and lashing i had to concoct a lie that i worked with chevron,which is an oil exploration company. you should have seen the glow on their faces,not knowing that i lied to avoid being dealt with and this is were the suspense comes in,sensing that am a top notch executive officer at chevron they thought it wise to pamper and caress me,I ate arrays of meals and drank assorted wines.I took moet wey I never take for my life before,na then i realise say getting kidnapped na good thing for some of us.

I was moved from the uncompleted hide out and tucked in a flat,they contacted my company and requested for a ransom but instead the company said they don't have anybody of that sort on their payroll,at this point they came to the realization that they took the wrong guy.....e nevar finish oh ...stay glued for more.scroll down for season two nd more

Finally....(meaning).abeg elaborate now

Being a cyber geek is an innate etching that has been drilled into my mainframe,it's sort of like an integral part of me without which am not complete.

It all started out when I lost my old man,this gave me the needed urge and toss that I had been craving for,with an obsolete and outdated laptop plugged into a reliable bandwith i could perform bizzare and heart wrecking wonders,I once earned ten thousand dollars and I blowed it off within a week and it sure was fun..

Away with the sequel,let's delve into the definition of the PLUS etched out from the term yahoo PLUS,since the clamp down on yahoo chaps has been a hard one,we the lads in the main stream had to look for alternative ways to purge our wallets,the plus therein entails a lot and you would get to know all about em in ma next write up..

Its celebration galore and churches are tucked up in carol services,some are slightly awkward and appalling while others are alluring and completely of the hook, meaning that they are the acute definition of what groovy entails.

Though I was the crusty sort without any means of livelihood and no job at all but I was still the chubby kind with loose flesh padded all around my body and sagging flesh overlapping my neck,

Seeing me for the first time you would take me for a rich dude and probably the chief executive officer of a top notch oil company, but in actual reality am a broke guy without a penny lining the enclave of my pocket, I was the usual sort you would see plying the street of lagos looking for small change or pennies to feed with.

It was a monday morning and I got a call from a friend who is based down at warri,he told me to come to warri and I should bring my resume along,that there might actually be a job opening for me in a firm as a low end clerk of some sort and that the firm in question wasn't far from he's place of work,

I tidied myself up, got dressed nd headed straight to the road side were it was sure I would get a cheap bus, the sort we broke lads do call "sole" or one chance,cheap,ricketty and amazingly fast,

I got one and within some hours I was in warri,I was well dressed,wore my best shirt and a trimmed edge tie and the best pant have got in order to make a good first impression to the company I prayed would employ me,I also wore a heavy scented cologne to top it and a set of brown loafers that I recently got from the ever busy katangora market.

I took a cab and headed to were I was to drop my resume,the cab man seeing that I was a power dresser mistook me for a rich lad whose car had just broken down and needed a cab to ease the pain of being scorched by the sun..

He told me would take me there at the rate of five hundred but I had to beat it down to four hundred cause that was the last money I was having on me.. As i stepped into the cab i just slept off,I really didn't know what came over me and within minutes of me waking up i was in a building half way being completed with mask men.

It was obvious,these guys were kidnappers but they just took the wrong victim,they inquired the company I work for and other details about my sorry ass i told them I was no good to them but they insisted i say the truth and i was seriously dealt with,in order to avoid more beating and whipping i had to lie that i worked for chevron,which is an oil exploration company and i could sense the glow on their faces not knowing that i lied to avoid being dealt with and this is were the suspense comes in,sensing that am a top notch executive of chevron they pampered me,I ate arrays of meals and drank assorted wines.

I was moved from the uncompleted hide out and tucked in a flat,they contacted my company and requested for a ransom but instead the company said they don't have anybody of that sort on their payroll,at this point they came to the realization that they took the wrong guy..