Nice One

A girl of 14 was put on a bus from Onitsha to Lagos by her mother to spend holiday with her aunty. Her mother tells her before she gets on the bus " No forget to tell the conductor to tell you when una don reach ijebu-ode oh"

About 15 mins into the journey, the girl shouts to the conductor " Conductor when we reach ijebu-ode, tell me oh abeg". Conductors says no problem.

When they get to Benin, the girl shouts again "Conductor we never reach ijebu-ode? Abeg no forget oh." Conductor says " we never reach now, i go tell you when we reach there, u hear".

Another 30 minutes and she shouts again from the back of the bus " conductor, no forget oh, !!!" At this point the other passengers are getting irritated and shout back at the girl "shebi, the conductor don tell you sey, him go tell you when we reach there, wetin u come dey shout here, abeg keep quiet now !!".

They get to Ore and she attempts to shout " Conductor, i still dey here oh,  ! Ijebu-ode and now everyone is very angry and shouts the little girl down.

After that, she keeps quiet throughout the rest of the journey, and the conductor forgets about the girl and the bus goes straight to Ojota. The girl then shouts again " We never reach the ijebu-ode ?" Then the passengers felt sorry for the girl and told the conductor that they had to take the girl back to Ijebu ode.

When they got there, the conductor says to the girl " This na the Ijebu-ode, come down,
The little girl says, " This na Ijebu-ode? Na here my mama sey make i take my merecin, oya make dey go Lagos!!!

Na wa oh. I'm happy for her oh but the wahala wen dey now be sey this gal has been 25 since i know her. She no dey grow? That age is a pure lie

To IBB and to those who know him and can relay this message to him.

IBB, please i am on my knees, begging you. Enjoy the money you have stolen from Nigerians in Minna and leave Nigeria to sort out its problems . You know your plan, you want to come finish the destruction you caused during your tenure.

Why do you want to come back, IBB! Why? Havent you caused enough pain?What is it about money and power? We do not need you IBB! You have nothing but havoc to offer this nation. Do not put your desire and greed over 150million Nigerians.

I take God abi Allah take beg you.

I was known in school for being notorious and funny! Senior girls picked on me, my mates adored me, my juniors wanted to be like me

beyunce, did u think i was fibbing?

Its true sha, that choosing husband business is very phoney

@blacknbold, i wasnt mocking mfm's way of prayer, i was just sharing some of the prayer points i know. i actually pray some of the prayer points sometimes and it works for me, The funny ones were just a joke

U guys need to lighten up . Even God likes a good laugh sometimes.

My grandmum was Felicia, and my cousin was named felica after my grandma, and becos my dad really wanted me to be named after her as well but was beaten to it, he called me Felicity.

My dad was educated and lived in the UK, so that explains, but i'm glad its a different name, hardly come across anyone with that name.

We could make this happen, I can nominate myself to project manage this! If we can generate enuff interest, say 20 to 30 people, we are game! We can use my garden, i live in abbeywood, or we could meet at a wine bar in central london or sometime.

Ghana high is the highest oh!

Has anyone ever heard of foodsteps?

My english name is Felicity, Damn thank God its not Felicia, my cousin got that one

Nice one

And i also carry my rabbit! ( u might want to google that) Strictly for the ladies

okirimaja, rostototo, yekpetttaaaa skonta baba rasta nwannem osondi owendi, decoq, romboowombo lombo attatatata pat attah

I have been known to carry meshai ( Nigerian burger with bread and fried egg)
Funny thing is armed robber stopped me and 2 friends ( One was a toaster oh) One of the armed robbers took my bag and poured the contents on the floor, my meshai fell out, armed robber burst laugh!

Ah, before we came to the uk, we went for deliverance for 5 days in MFM! I could not cope with the dry fast oh! For 2 days no food no water. My brother and i used to go to the corner and eat oh! When we buy our food, the people selling ask us if we are for the deliverance program, and we said No, haba sister we are the workers in the church! But that was years ago.

One more prayer point

U satanic monitoring wall gecko, coming inside my house to monitor me and my progress, back to the SENDER, CARRY GO!!!!!!!

Afeni, whose side are u on? Why u dey diss me now? None of these prayer points are directed to you oh!

You evil bird, that perches by my window in the morning and making noise, u are an enemy, Die by fire.

@idollier, MFM stands for Mountain of Fire and miracles.

@ Afeni, i used to attend mfm when i was a teenager and didnt have a choice, these days i spend my sundays reading and developing myself for the challenging and competitive world out there, instead of praying for a miracle that may never happen.

One more prayer point for u:-
Every "follow follow power, ur time is up! Fall down, catch fire and DIE.!!!!!!!!!!

I love MFM oh. Please don't diss that church!!! Its not a church u go to everyday sunday IMO but when overtake don dey overtake overtake,,,,,,,,,,,,,, MFM provides desperate measures for Desperate times and problems.

Every demonic satellite monitoring my progress, SCATTER !!!!!!

The one thing i enjoyed about deeper life when i was in my teens was going to Ayobo for the retreat, It used to be fun and excitement all in one. But the only problem was the lady that introduced us to that church was a heavy prayer warrior in that church with the natural hair and tying of turban. Housefellowship in her house and every monday, wednesday, friday, saturday and sunday, she will attend one program or the other.

But when this woman is beating her husband here, iraq war is child's play!!!

My mumsie makes me laugh. Whilst we were in Nigeria, she went to different churches from Deeper life to redeemed to MFM, you name it, she was there and trust her to drag us along with her, if not, no food for us that day.

In one of the churches, they announced that if you want to have the gift of the tongue, come out. Trust mumsie to drag herself and us to the front of the church. The pastor laid his hands on us and prayed and then asked us to wait after the service.

Well, after the service, one of the prayer warriors started to say we should open our mouth and say anything. He even said we should say banana, plaintain, pineapple in the sequence and after we repeat millions of times in the spirit, we shall begin to speak another tongue. Ur girl start now,  wetin i for do? I was very hungry and i thot to myself that the sooner i get the hang of this thing, the quicker we go home.

I opened my mouth wide and in my loudest voice, bananaplaintainpineapplebananaplaintainpineapplebananaplaintainpineapplebananaplaintainpineapple until i switched to bobobobosantan orobokibo sainterebaba.
When the prayer warrior had had enough, he sent us home. When we got home, i told my mum that we didnt have to speak in tongues to be good christains. To cut a long story short,  when we all told her  how silly it was to be saying banana plaintain pineapple, she bursted out laughing and began to see the light.

Now she doesnt go about seeking for the gift of the tongue, she just prays her own ( and she still hasnt received the spirit yet)

Its almost like you have to speak in tongue to be a good christain.

Nairalanders in the UK, don't you guys think it will be a splendid idea for us to hook up and meet one another? Perhaps, we could meet up in a wine bar, a club or have a barbecue in someone's garden this summer.

I think this will be a great idea to have some kind of do this summer. Nairalanders around Europe are also welcome.

Come on guys,  lets make things happen!!!!!!

Why dont i send anybody except myself most of the time?

Why do i spend so much time tidying up my house and then messing it up 2 mins later?

Why cant i just be plain direct with people sometimes?

Why dont i want to pick up my phone most of the time?

Why do people think i'm so mischievious when i think i'm being funny?

why do i miss naija so much but when i'm there, i cant wait to leave after 2 weeks?

Why do i cry when i watch telly?

Why cant i watch horror movies now when i was such a fan when i was younger?

Why do i love music so much?

Why do i watch the news everyday, when its filled up with the war in Iraq?

Why am i so addicted to www.nigeriaworld.com?

Why do i yab people i see them looking funny?

WHY CANT WE NAIRALANDERS IN THE UK MEET UP FOR A DRINK IN THE WEST END OR WHAT THE HELL, WHY CANT WE JUST ALL HOOK UP AT MEANTIME NEXT BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND?

Why am i telling you guys so much abo myself on this yeye forum sef?

I dey Bleep up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just to add my own two cents,

I remember when i was growing up as a child in D'line port-harcourt. We had this guy on our street who had small shop ( A.k.a Kiosk) and he sold small things like peak milk, sugar, milo, key soap and those kind of stuff. I've known this guy like forever,  we used to call him ibo man,and once you mentioned his name everyone knew him. He was the kind that would ask you about your school work, if you were been respectful to your parents, if you were coming first in your class, he would also give you a sweet if you had been good.

I will never forget ibo man. When i went to portharcourt on a visit, i went to his shop and that was after over ten years since he last saw me,  ibo man was close to tears when i reminded him of who i was,  he told all the customers in the shop about me, and how he knew me when i was a child and praised me so much when i told him of all that i had achieved since the last time he saw me.

I tell u, the admiration and genuine appreciation in his eyes will live with me for the rest of my life.

Bottom line is, the african definition of customer service may be different, but when we come across such genuinity, we never forget it. If i ever have the opportunity of owning a business, i will learn from "ibo man" because he taught me so much. Actually, even in my daily life, i try to make a difference because you never know who you can touch and change by simple genuine concern and a loving smile you give to that person.

Moral of the story is in your everyday life,  whether in business, a relationship or otherwise, ALWAYS STRIVE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.