nice one

LIST OF RULES FOR WOMEN


1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.


2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without
any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose an eye.


3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't
mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.


4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor, it wont happen.


5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and
please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.


6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.


7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".


8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have
seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.


9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to
watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as
important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this, why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".


12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.


Thank you for your cooperation.


Regards,


Men of the World

Homie, lover, friend

Forever more

Dedicated

You saved me

All the money

Tayo,

Dont be mad at me! The fact is that Chris Okotie has to prove to us that he can do the job. He cannot just come out of nowhere and declare intentions to become president without anything to show for it. What has Okotie done to convince me that he is the man for the job. Nothing!!!!! Has he used his calling to promote education, awareness of HIV /AIDS or even added value to his immediate environment (Ikeja or where ever his church is)?He needs to prove himself! And where does he get the money to bankroll his ambitions? That i leave to your imagination.

I'm not saying that anyone else running for the seat is better than he is but i'll rather have Obasanjo with his big belle and big nose there than someone who uses curl activator every morning before he goes to work.

PH girls? No way! We are not like that.

This thread caught my attention, so would like to add my own two cents.

My ex-boyfiend was caught in a money-transfer shop whilst attempting to collect western union in london. He was arrested and arraigned in court and given a date to appear in court in a month's time for sentencing. In my panic, i contacted some friends asking what i should as this was a matter of 2 years in jail. A friend of mine recommended a white garment prophet. Now on a good day, i would never consider this, afterall, i had been through a lot in this country but never, ever dreamt of visiting such a place. But after much persuasion, my ex and i decided to go there to see what he could do. After waiting for close to an hour to see the prophet ( there was a very long queue.), we were ushered in. Cutting a long story short, he predicted and vehemently insisted that nothing will happen and asked us to bring candles, three white eggs and and 2 live snails. If we couldnt provide it, then we could give him money to provide the neccesary things for prayers.

At this point, i lost interest but my ex being in a bad situation wanted to go on with it, so he gave the prophet £50 to get the stuff. The prophet also prophesised that the reason why my ex and i were not married was that someone in my family was against me ever getting married. So he insisted that we come back for prayers after the court case. (Meanwhile the reason why i couldnt settle with my ex was becos he was a lousy person, but save that for another topic). Needless to say, after the prayers and the burning of candles and all what not, he was jailed for 8 months, infact it was God's miracle that he wasnt deported as well.

Another incident:-  the same friend that recommended this prophet was also pregnant for her boyfriend, and they were not married. This is a girl that i know would never get pregnant before marriage as she was a born-again, and regularly attended KICC ( A popular pentecostal church in London). When i questioned her decision to get pregnant, she told me it was the prophet that saw a vision for her and told her that a lot of people in her family didnt want her to get married, the Lord according to the prophet also advised her to get pregnant so that the boy will marry her. She's given birth over 8 months now, and i'm still waiting for the Invite to her wedding. I hope it happens soon.

If he is really a man of God, then maybe he will have seen the vision that he CANNOT be the president to Nigeria. If that is the case, then why is this man wasting the church offering and tithes on a fruitless mission? Why cant he do something else, like start an NGO or something.

I dont really understand what all this fuss and all the lengthy bible quotations are about. Everyone is entitled to their own free will. What one's idea about christainity or born-againism is might be different from the next man's understanding.

Is a catholic a better christain than a protestant or is a deeper-life christain better than a redeemed christain? How can one be better than the other? Is a christain that drinks and smokes better than a christain that backbites, tells white lies or collects small ejunje? Or what about the ones that gives police bribe or pays small cash to sort in order to get his maths to enter uni? What are we arguing about? Please there is no right or wrong way of doing this christainity. Only God can judge us. Sometimes drinkers are even better than the so-called xtains, cos at least we know them for who they are, instead of the so-called born-agains who are more wicked than satan himself.

Pls my dear poster of this topic, if u want to shark, shark u hear! But drink in moderation, cos intoxication messes you up.

I remember when i was in Uniport! Now there's a funny divide in that school. The jambitos and the "slackers" stayed in the hostels and the bigger girls stayed in the village .The village was considered to be better cos it was a better standard of living ie ur own space instead of sharing one tiny room with 15 other girls, a decent toilet instead of "blocking" in the open space of the hostel in the night  after the male visitors have left and a generator instead of perpetually living in darkness in the hostel.

Now every babe's dream was to stay in the village. But a room in a nice estate in the village is not cheap. As at the time i was there, a room cost about N40,000 a semester which was not moi-moi at all. What's a girl to do, in a society where the parents of an average student were seperated or divorced, or the mom or dad didnt have a job or enough to provide the kind of money or the general hardship of nigeria was the factor. The only solution - to follow aristos.

Then i moved to Unilag - a whole new culture, at least in lag, some babes especially jambites or those ex queen's college girls or ISS or Fgc shagamu girls went out with the so-called club boys or kings college boys or big mens children. The rest of us,well,  what to do? It was in Unilag that i witnessed mothers coming to school to collect money from their daughters. It was in unilag i saw girls of 24 paying for the school fees of their youngers ones. 

Well to end my little story; the cause of girls following aristos are as follows:-

Poverty
The need for girls to feel among, especially in lagos where apperance is crucially important
The insecurity and inferiority complex of boys in campus, not coming forward to approach and ask these girls out

But most importantly, you cannot ignore the fact that the Nigerian society has created this problem. Look at the jamb crisis, the poverty, the bad roads, armed robbery, corruption, 419, indiscipline and all the other vices in our country.

No one has a right to single out girls and call them prostitutes. ARISTO Following is just one of the many problems Nigeria has

The one who buys the first car buys the second-hand car.

The one who builds the first house on the street doesnt necessarily build the best one.

The fish does not know how hot the water in the pot is until it falls inside the pot.

When you see a woman dancing by the forest, she must be dancing to the drums of the spirit.



Pidgin English:- No be every okada wen pass u go enter.

Anyone that falls with tha pic on your profile is a jerk

Still young, time will come

Not much

No

osaze

Ronke,

Forget about the married guy. U are only prolonging your pain and wasting time over something that will head nowhere. It doesnt matter what this married guy has told your father. Your father will not marry him! Think about yourself girl. This married man is being very selfish! He has too much story and lies in his mouth.

I've been there and done that. U can spend another 2-3 yrs judging this matter or you can move on and start your life again. As for the other guy, if you're not feeling it, leave it. The guy can propose and call his mother to beg you, but again, u've got to do what's best for u.

In summary, leave these two guys alone, it may hurt, but find other things to occupy, eg go to the gym, join a dance class, try to make more friends, join a cookery class, go for make-up classes, learn something new. Readjust your life style and preoccupy yourself. before u know it, they will all be history.

This is one of the most inhuman things to do to a child in this day and age. I just showed this to a work colleague and she then narrated a story to me of a woman who took her little daughter to nigeria to visit, only for the mother-in-law to cut off the top of the baby's p****y.

I really dont knw what ur lawyer can do about this but if this was my son, somebody must wound oh!!!!

I wish God could, so i dont have to keep doing trial and error!!

How does the guy look? Anyone got a pic of him?

I honestly cant stop laughing at this one. Then of all places, AFIKPO !!!. The name of the area sef. If una wan claim the guy ,,, at least give am better area, u know something posh like rivers state, port harcourt, okrika, abuja and names like that!!!

Valentine's day is yet commercially pressured marketing strategy for retail giants and other businesses to extract more and more hard-earned cash from us. When i capture a serious bobo, i intend to make everyday we spend together valentine's day.

Hail Abuloma
Source of our hope
Fountain of truth and conscience
Mother of Science
Home of the art
We owe you love and reverence

Centre of love and unity
Where knowledge flows in abundance
Pride of our state and nation
Where wisdom flows without hindrance
Where learners learn and teachers ........
Federal Government Girls College Abuloma

I love creed fleurissimo. Smells fresh, crisp,oozes of feminity and elegance....... this perf is guaranteed to boost your self confidence,, only hang up is it's expensive at £80 but believe me........ its money well spent.

Avop

Avop, na betta cooking oil,
avop e dey make chop sweet oh

U go lick plate, like finger, scratch bottom plate.....

Avop, na betta cooking oil,
avop e dey make chop sweet oh



Ecobank:- the ad with a choir and all that

There is a quality banking and excellent in all things
Thats ecobank 3x. tra la la.......

I confess i want the body of beyonce...................... really!!!

Whiteshark, queenzy is rite. Anywhere i go, u follow me. i go left, u follow me, i go rite u follow. Abeg if u like me just talk and we can take it from there. But dont forget that i'm only 11.

Well, i'm 11. I'm not selling any market. Infact i feel i'm being discriminated and victimised against becos of my age.

Infact let me report u to the Bro. Seun.

Bro. Seun, Pls come and BAN nicetohave and this yeye boy called whiteshark from this place"

Rubbish. I say i'm 11 and u're dragging with me

If to say i no be born again i for swear for u this boy !!!! Why u wan spoil my market? Have i ever discussed with u about children before. Abi na me and u born the pickin. Infact na u born me wen u go dey call me edede.

I'm 11 ..................................FULL STOP!!!! End of!!!!!

I am 11 years of age........... if u think i'm lying, ask my mummy....1

Wel...now this thread is funny. But i am proud to say i am the youngest in the house. I'm 11years of age, july 15 1994