CAMNEWTON4PRES:


Why don't you drop your Igbo identity and embrace the African only first? Who are you to tell Bantu they should not identify as bantu ?

Lmao. This is not about Bantu or Igbos. This is about Black Brazilians and how they see themselves. No Black Brazilian identifies as Bantu or whatever. They call themselves Afro or Black Brazilians because they come from different areas of Africa. They are even more likely to claim Yoruba or Igbo before any Bantu stuff.
They are Afro Brazilians....this division and discrimination is in your heads. They don't have that time!

muafrika:


Let them speak for themselves woman,

It's as clear as day. You wouldn't find Brazilians shouting about any Bantu thing. They identify as Afro - Brazilians and just embrace their overall African identity. This division is still in your heads...

alanmwene:

You obsessive desire to link bantus to west Africans is worrisome!Why don't you claim ghanians,tchadians,senegaleses,etc...who belong to the same sudano-sahelian race like you?Sorry mate,you have nothing in common with bantus!Africa would be a better place if it can be divided along racial lines:West Africans stay with west Africans,bantus with bantus,nilotics with nilotics,arabs with arabs,etc...
*

Sorry! Bantu is not a race or ethnic group,it is a linguistic group from West Africa. You can jump into Limpopo river if you don't like it.
If West Africans are Sudo sahelians in your twisted mind,then Bantus are also Sudo sahelians from West Africa who migrated to East Africa.

muafrika:

That's right.

95 Million? Brazil? That's Bantu territory!

Unfortunately,descendents of African slaves including Bantu only identify as Africans or Blacks. They don't have time for that. This Bantu and African division only exist in your heads.

kwametut:
Migration has been part of human race since 1st BC. Why did the ancestors of todays white race migrate from black sea area into other parts of Europe? Why did they move WEST not EAST?

I have seen all the stupid explanations about Bantu migrations from west africans and their fvcked up claims.

Lol. Bantus can come from Jupiter. The essential thing is that they are a Niger Congo people: a group that cover West Africa too! So they can't come from Jupiter but from West Africa.

gatiano:
haha lol haplogination. People are free to make their own opinion, yes ofcourse, just as I can question you thoughts to send me on a quest.
I knew you added sub-saharan, only you did so tactically making believe the sub-saharan add any help in building the civilizations. They built all civizations alone, on their own just because they simply could, and then brought other people to enjoy a while in it.

You are just being stuppid! Can't you read? Fulaman grouped the people of ancient Egypt while purposely cutting off Subsaharan Africans. Can you just be logical and stop ranting rubbish? You have a hard time processing information. I don't know how many times i've had to repeat this explanation.

gatiano:
Ihuomadinihu haplo haplogination; there is nowhere in the nairaland rules where it stated that I should not quote your mentions, and besides, You are in my lane, I own the topic. You however free to quote, like, share, mention as you wish and that goes for all.

Stop dividing One People, You learnt all those division and sub-creating and grouping from the liars.

I believe you can read! Then why don't you figure out who started creating the types of people in Egypt which i tried to correct before quoting me. Didn't you see where i added Sub Saharan Africans too. You are just picking the wrong battle because of your inability to tolerate my previous opinions on a different thread. Like i wrote earlier, scroll up and read before mentioning me. This might be nairaland but only a foool mentions people repeatadly for dumb reasons.

P.s That you own the topic statement is as stupidd as hell,people are free to make their own opinions!

gatiano:
lol ihuomadinihu haplo haplogin. nilo, nilo, afro mero etc what are you talking? do you know that the hutu and the tutsi are the same people, it was the belgian that coined them these new names that made them war so much?
All these thing are the tricks of the johny come lately people of the planet (non-blacks) trying to cause more bloodshed and steal heritage.
Before it was the arabs, later extra-terrestrial, now that we know the whole truth, it is the combination of all people lol.

Egypt was like what usa is today where everybody flocked to for enlightment amongst all other things, before they began flocking there, Blacks have being there from eons. Blacks left, they took their enlightment with which is still hidden till this moment.

Oh My! You should stop rushing into my mentions with your ignorant replies. Why not read the comments of the person i quoted and see why i made this comment in the first place! !

Fulaman198:


No, as Nubians, Kanuri, etc are not Sub-Saharan Africans. The Kanem-bornu empire at its peak extended into Libya. Most of Niger and Libya are geographically in the Sahara. Many black ethnic groups are indigenous to the Sahara. I can count at least 40 on the top of my head.

Egyptians were a combination of Nilotic, Afro Asiatic, Saharan and 'Subsaharan' African people

Fulaman198:


Red is a shade of Brown back then. Ethiopians were always black.

Ancient Egyptians were black as well. Yes, there were some settled whites that were Roman, Greek or Mamluk. It doesn't change the fact of what Egyptians were, a combination of Nilotic, Afro-Asiatic and Saharan African peoples.

You mean Sub Saharan African people.

@Thunderinghooves Well,i've seen articles that suggested that Tutsi were originally Nilotes that borrowed the Bantu language.

daretodiffer:


I was referring to you two. He made an illogical argument and you carried on with him. You are as a guilty as he is. We are all Africans, Bantu or not

Pls forward this to him. There are deal brokers in these sort of arguments. The Bantu insisted on going down that path and it's only logical you adopt his system and show him that his comparisons are irrelevant.
Enough of these Cautions and advices!! You either join the conversation or stay off my mentions.

daretodiffer:



You do not want to compare at all

Besides, why would anyone compare Guinea with the Igbs, what so special about the two.

Please go back to earlier post and find out who is comparing Guinea and Igbos! I don't have the time for another round of illogical arguments from anyone.

I've been in church since morning. Thank you Radoillo and Scholti for holding it down and teaching the Bantu monkey a lesson.

@Thunderinghooves I am also interested in genetics that was why i asked the Bantu buffon to produce Genetic differences between Bantus and West Africans.
The only thing he could come up with was names of Notable Bantu folks. Lol.

daretodiffer:


You are so wrong there. Guinea is one of the African countries that has civilisation before the whites came. You do not want to compare at all

What do you mean by civilization?
Lol,there are different types of civilization. From your statement,you are trying to imply that Igbo, Hausa, Benin, Yoruba, Fante had no civilization prior the arrival of whites?
Lmao!

alanmwene:

are you seriously going to compare igbos to bantus?You are a serious joke!
The whole igboland cant even be compared to the tiniest bantu country (equatorial guinea) in terms of infrastructure and you are here talking about igbos.Igbos cant even be compared to hausas or ashantis and you are here wanting to compare yourselves to people who own half of Africa?The day igbos will produce something like the kongo kingdom that spans more than 4 countries(drcongo,angola,congo-brazzaville,gabon,south east of cameroun) will be the day you can talk.Until then,go back to your Igbo shithole.

Lol,i will leave at the foot of your own stupiidity,ignorance and wrong perception of superiority.
It baffles me that you don't know the difference between Language groups(Bantu,Igbo,yoruba), Countries(Gabon,Nigeria)
Ethnic groups(Igbo,Yoruba, Kikuyi).
Why would a reasonable person compare Guinea with Hausa or Igbo. If you must compare,then pick two related items!
These are just silly jusxatapositions and comparisons, you keep talking about Congo kingdoms. I would assume you have not heard of West African Kingdoms. When you talk about Pan Africans like Mandela,i will assume you haven't heard about his West African contempories.
When you mention Queen Nzinga,i will assume you are ignorant of Dahomney warriors or even Queen Amina etc.
These countries like Equ. Guinea are not only inhabited by Bantus,there are natives like Igbo and other West African groups in it. Moreover, Bantus in South Africa and Equ. Guinea are incapable of ushering in any form of development. The White settlers are to be apperciated for any development you see in these countries.
You can keep living in the 17th century but this is 2015 and Nigerians and Igbos who have been compared to extremely intelligent people like the Jews are way above you all

Finally,unless you are in love with a man under a wide age bracket,it is not advisable to go for such men. I don't see what a Lady of 24 will be doing with a man of 33 to 35. For God's sake, you are meant to enjoy your marriage with someone you can relate with and be free with. Most older men that date younger girls are doing so to replenish the youth they have lost. Some of them do so because they know that a younger girl of 24 would swallow his nasty excesses while a woman of 28 and above knows what she cannot tolerate from men. The older and educated a woman gets the more informed she becomes,so it's a CATCH THEM YOUNG ISSUE because men want to behave anyhow and get away with it!
Most grown ladies are in tune with their bodies,mind and spirit. She will be able to bring a sense of balance into marriage both financially, mentally, socially etc.
Some of these men from 35 and above have wasted their youth jumping from one woman to another and when he feels that he is getting old he starts looking for younger women. What happened to his age mates? What happened to that 35 yrs old woman that has been with him for a while?
And the OP wants to shame women that wouldn't accept these kinds of men? Everywoman has the right to turn down an older man if it's not want she wants.
A 35 yr old man and above with a regular job who is still unmarried is a big suspect. I am not prescribing anything like the Op,neither am i suggesting that Older women are better than younger girls, but it's very disturbing when a Man bypasses decent women of his age group for young girls in their early 20s. That is a big Red flag!
If he can't handle a grown woman what tells you he can handle you when you begin to grow and become wiser in marriage?
If you say yes then say Yes because you love that 40 yrs old man and both of you complement each other,otherwise let that man go for women close to his age group(30s)
The list is as useless as a Maths set to a Linguistics student!

3. A man with no regular source of income is equal to a struggling man. What are the odds that this man will have a sustaintable job when he finally marries you? How are you sure that he can take care of your kids with that unstable job when they finally arrive? There are no IF'S AND BUT'S here.
Every resonable man should first secure some sort of balance in his life and finances before going for women to avoid unforseen circumstances in future. Through out the world, a man with no viable source of income going for a wife is seen as Unserious and Unreasonable. Any woman that chooses to be with this kind of man, MUST be gainfully employed to complement him.
4. A Small or Big wedding is totally dependent on the Couple involved and not on the Op.
These days, small weddings packaged very well come out very tasteful and classy. So it's possible to make a modest budget and throw a big wedding or party if that is what you want. You can have a Big Tacky Wedding or a Small Mindblowing Wedding. Everything boils down to the taste and standards of the couple. It's not even a Yes or No,Sorry!

I would like to hover a little on the Igbo tradutional marriage.
In Igbo culture,there are items on the marriage list which are compulsory and should be fulfilled before a woman is given away to a man. This list is also open to negotiations,that is why you need an experienced and wise kinsman in your entourage before you to meet your in laws. There are no fast rules in Igbo marriage,what is obtainable in Imo might not be acceptable in Abia. It boils down to negotiations between the two families.
You get married once and for all, having a court wedding and waiting till you have money to for white wedding doesn't make sense. That is why you see heavily pregnant brides or women with four kids on the marriage altar. If you are a man,get a decent job and plan a decent Court, Trad and White marriage before Co habiting with a ''wife''.

It's a Sunday morning and i don't have the time to make an elaborate post but i will touch on a few things.
I have always maintained that this List is as Trashy as it comes,a check list made for those desperate women ready to let go off their preferences because they need to settle like their mates. It's a list that has an overwhelming appeal for those men who have no meaningful jobs but will still go after women when they can't afford 3 square meals for themselves.
There are no hard and fast rules to these sort of questions and saying No to all of them doesn't diminish your chances of getting married.
1. A Woman that can't be with a poor man in one room apartment has no business dating or being with him in the first place. If you must be with him,then get ready to work hard and help allievate his conditions.
The issue is that both men and women do not know what they want in a mate. You see a man date a woman with a bad character....few years later he realizes that she is not a Wife material. Why is he dating her in the first place? It boils down to what you want or wouldn't take.
Stay away from Broke men if you don't see yourself marrying him.
2. A struggling man with no regular job has no business looking for a wife. Every woman and wife needs some sort of Financial security and comfort. What is the point of bringing in a woman when you are unable to afford a decent life?
It's better to go for women that can live with you because every woman is not cut out for suffering and poverty. The problem is that men want the best but are not willing to be the best. If you must go for certain types of women then be ready to satisfy the needs and standards of those kind of women. Otherwise,just cut your coat according to your size and go for the low maintenance women that will be happy to be with you.
That is why you see many mechanics, artisans,farmers, palm wine tarpers, small business owners, school drop outs, masons, carpenters, plumbers happy married to their wives. People like this have no problem getting married because they go for women in their Social Strata who is ready to sleep on the floor with him. What sort of financial security or comfort does a man with an income of 30 thousand have to offer a female graduate who is unemployed or a woman who has suitors with a more balanced income?

sheabutter1:


I never read where op stated your claim in your 2 point above, ..you know it's actually possible to date a guy in a room.? emotional spring up when we don't prepare for it. Assuming, you had mere friend (a guy) living in a room. you never had a mind of dating him. you just find it interesting holding talk with him, eventually, you both like each other, consequently , dating and making love to each other in in the so called in a room. All of a sudden, the guy propose to marry you , you turn him and your emotion down all because he didn't meet up the criteria , you want in a man. ..i believe , this is what I underderstood of the op's view

If that is how you understand it. Then it's not different from men that date women that are Lousy in the kitchen, Dirty and Lazy, Disrespectful and loud and suddenly realizes that she is not a ''wife material''. Why is he in a relationship with that women when he knows he can't marry her because she doesn't fit his standards? In this case,the society keeps a blind eye and even hail him for dumping such women.
So why is it Wrong and Shameful if a woman does the same thing in this case? It's still the same patriarchal double standards in the society. Just like a man can wake up and realize that he doesn't want that woman, a woman should be left to make her choice.

Your understanding and the Ops example are extreme cases. A woman who doesn't want a Poor man should never contemplate going for one,a woman who doesn't want a One room Apartment man should never date him. Everything boils down to choice,standards and being aware of what you want in a relationship and marriage.
The problem with the Ops post is that he is wrapped up in his own little world and thinks that saying No to these question will lead to a life of full spinsterhood.
In the real world out there, saying Yes to these questions without careful considerations will lead to a life of full regrets.

double0seven:


first of all, I'm not your sis. I'm a guy

again from this answer, I can tell you are either small boy or a troubled soul.

A matured who has had relationships with women, and when talking about relationship with women with marriage in view won't be shouting mess , sc.rew, ban.g .....

you are still in your period of sexual fantasy.....na school mentality still dey your head.... that's it's full of images and words like fuc.k , scre.w etc...

silly small boy trying to dish advice to his aunties and bros

una people get time

Thank you. Reasonable men and women do not use such derogatory words to describe a sexual activity no matter the level of emphasis he is trying to create.
What we have he is misorgynist making attempts to infuse silly ideas in the minds of women while slaming people that don't share his opinion.
I pity the kind of women that will come here and run off with his points because they want to get married by all means possible. Talking about women like they are some sexual toy and manic is a huge Red flag on its own.

sheabutter1:


I can be rest assure that, you completely understand the op now , it require a lot of understanding to be outstanding .op's on point ..the No 3 point, simply means yes, iif you are ready to find a way to make it work out.

your no 5 point 's still on the illustration I made earlier ..if you can find it interesting seeking advice from older one , you could develop a feelings for him. just like Celin dion who got married to her Manager who's far older than her ..Marriage 's all about who we get connected for and makes us happy ..aside the materials things of the world. I drop my pen. gudnite!

Both you and the Op are not being logical at all. I find it quite disturbing that a lady would approve and comend whatever Op has written. Firstly,these are no suggestions or advices. They are points made to humiliate women that would naturally say No to majority of his questions. There are no fixed rules in marriage. I have seen people that answered No to these silly questions who are happily married and People that said Yes and are struggling to remain in marriage. You don't sit down and draw a silly list for Women and suggest that they might never marry if they don't adhere to your points.
There is nothing to understand,sorry!

oluamid:


You make me remember a story that broke during the week about a lady who shared details of her abusive marriage on her husband's facebook wall on his birthday.

That story left me thinking if the lady ever knew the guy was violent before marrying her. But because he was 'her specs' and could comfortably take care of her needs and wants she agreed to marry him. Only for him to unleash his real self on her after they got married.

Funny enough, the same woman may have the 'face-me-i-face you living kinda guys wooing her when she was still single whom she probably sidelined because they don't fit into her 'class'.

I that case,that woman was only in love with the rich man's money. I believe what we are discussing here is if a woman can say Yes to that poor man she has been in a relationship with. If there is no love whether in wealth or poverty,there is no point jumping into either unions.


However,it's a different case,if the man trying to 'date' her is poor. It's entirely up to her to decide if she wants to go out with him. Moreover,there are no guarantees that the man you suffered with today will marry you tomorrow,that is why most ladies now operate on once bitten,twice shy. There are no fast rules in marriage,people just do what make them happy. That being said,no lady intentionally go for poor broke men unless she loves you and sees acknowlegdes the potential you carry, the other lady that rejected you for being poor shouldn't be shamed. You have every right to pick who you want just as she has the right to go with who she likes.

sheabutter1:


oh so you are able to understand the 2 points of op out of the 5 . my ddear , if you are able to read calmly, I believe you will pick some senses from other 3 .

I believe op, never stop you from your choice, he just emphasize on, never perceive what you can't condole. you know a guy in a room a No to you , you should never have let him date you in any reason ..for you to consider him to date you, that means your choice is scarce , and nothing bad in starting a life with him if he's ambitions minded ..not someone, who's comfortable in a room and room and ready to spend the rest of his life there..

By the way,there is nothing to understand from 3 and 5,ok.
A woman that wants a large wedding will look for a way to have it! Either she supplements with her money, borrows and puts the family in debt or she forces you to go out there and look for it. Before you answer any silly questions,it's better you sit down and access what you really want.
A woman that desires a large wedding might adjust and go for a small trad and a large white wedding in order to be 'happy'.
The most important thing is your happiness,it's not a no or yes answer. A woman who says No to 3 will never be a spinster forever,she would have to work with her partner to make her happy.
Finally, number 5 is not a closed question. There are thousands of people married to people within their age group. You don't have to say Yes to a 40 yr old man to be married,if that is not what you want deep down inside you! Tufia!
There is no point saying Yes to anything out of desperation,say yes because you are happy within you.

sheabutter1:


oh so you are able to understand the 2 points of op out of the 5 . my ddear , if you are able to read calmly, I believe you will pick some senses from other 3 .

I believe op, never stop you from your choice, he just emphasize on, never perceive what you can't condole. you know a guy in a room a No to you , you should never have let him date you in any reason ..for you to consider him to date you, that means your choice is scarce , and nothing bad in starting a life with him if he's ambitions minded ..not someone, who's comfortable in a room and room and ready to spend the rest of his life there..

Sorry,Op never made sense in the other points. Don't get carried away and swallow everything they Op posted. In the first place, he concluded that every man and woman in a relationship are sleeping with each other,that is insane!
Secondly, every guy that approaches you for marriage must not be your Boyfriend or someone that is dating you. In Nigeria, people meet their partners through different sources. Half of the proposals that come to ladies are not from men they are dating. Most of them are from friends who have admired them for sometime. The question is can you say yes to that poor broke man? If you are comfortable with it,by all means possible,accept his proposal.
The issue here is that the Op is shaming women that would say NO to the guy's proposal.
It's not a matter of saying Yes or No,it is about shaming women that stick to their standards and preferencies. In his twisted world,women are not supposed to have or make choices in marriage but Men have the liberty to do anything; including picking the most beautiful women, best cooks, sex kittens, educated, respectful, loyal, tall, shapely etc! Why the double standards?
No reasonable woman will pay attention to folks like him.

At the end of the day,only points 3 and 5 are a little logical because they are preferencial issues. Some people apparently prefer small events and simple packing when it comes to weddings. Everyone must not put up a Mind blowing wedding reception for the world.

Number 5 is also based on Preference and Choice. There are single girls that prefer older partners. However,it's not advisable to go for people far away from your age group. Things may be all rosy at first but soon,you will start drifting away from that each other because you are no longer on the same wave lenght. When he is talking about retirement and slowing down his activities,you will be thinking of kick starting a new business or attending one event or the other.

Experienced married folks say it's preferable to marry someone within or not too far from your age group....

Apart from these 3 and 5, the other points are absolutely useless. A broke ass guy has no business chasing women for marriage. You have to put certain things in order before thinking of bringing in a women into your home. With marriage comes responsibilities,pregnancies and children. Who are you going to heap these problems on?
Get a regular job,get an accomodation before thinking of getting married otherwise you go for women you can afford and who will like to be with you!
Like i said before,this post is for broke ass lazy men and desperate women,a man that knows his onions and a woman of high esteem has nothing to gain from this post.

Women pls,only settle for what makes you happy and in the arms of who makes you feel special and loved. Secondly,it's also important to look like what you want to attract. If you want a rich,intelligent and decent man you have to learn to develop yourself along those lines.

For, my sweet Nigerian women,
MANAGEMENT,AVAILABILITY,NO TIME,SETTLING AND OLD MAID are the wrong words to use when you are thinking of marriage. If you don't like what you have today,you wouldn't like it tomorrow. Marriage is not something you do because others are getting married,do it because you are happy with what you have.

Vikky014:
lol. d fact is saying yes or no to the points does not hv any impact on d said person in the real. no one can pretend to b wht she is not. my own point is our old sisters dt time is no longer on their side shld get busy and stp dreaming about wht dey cant afford. hw will one marry a soo rich guy whn one can barely recharge her phone with airtime jst saying tho

His points are entirely useless and inconsequential to people that want to get married. I believe that a woman shouldn't stay idle but should work and earn her money no matter how little. Even if the jobs are not forth coming,a single woman should develop herself mentally,socially,spiritual and otherwise. I lay huge emphasis on the mental aspect. Wise men are looking for intelligent women not some gullible lady who is desperate to be a Mrs.

oluwadartey:


Like seriously?... Please who has choices, preferences and standards helped? If the Op is engrossed in himself, what's your business with it (Angry black woman). Paddle your canoe and let the Op paddle his.

It's an opinion and the fact that anyone uses it doesn't mean they're gullible or battling low self esteem as its obvious that you're.

And call me English teacher but it's Gullible and not 'guilible'. Your low self esteem won't let you learn to spell properly.

You don't have to correct any error,obviously people are typing fast and no one is above such little errors.
Angry Black woman? You probably just watched a black Hollywood movie because they are the only people that throw that up when they are arguing with a 'black woman'.
Scream from now till tomorrow,the fact is that the Op's post is useless,bullshit and detrimental to women and young girls. Who advices a young woman to overlook her desires, standards and priorities for such trashy points because she is running out of time. A lot of women are married today,not because they are happy with their decisions and choices but because they don't want to be called an old spinster. A lot of married women are wallowing in Adultery and affairs because some damn fool advised them to SETTLE with the avaliable man. Believe you me, any woman that will ignorantly say yes to these sort of foolish questions especially without Love will live to regret her decision in a few years time.
There is no A plus B in marriage,if you must say Yes to these questions ,then Love must be involved not the tick tuck sound of the biological clock.

P.s Nairaland is free for all,i reserve the right to counter any opinion so stay off my mentions!

Vikky014:
the ops thread is for d desperados and sex addicts dt want to marry a ready made man whn dey r nt made to hv a rethink. and dose categories of ladies are in their late 20 ties and 30 ties i guess
nt defending him though bt sme old sisters here can hv a rethink and settle dwn tru his post dts for dose dt takes marriage as an achievement though

I pity the so called Old sisters that will go through his illogical post and apply these points in their search for a man. These posts are basically for teenagers, women desperate to hook a man and of course,unintelligent women. The greatest mistake a woman will make is to say Yes to any of these questions because time is slowly ticking away.
When one enters a relationship,you should know what you can take and what you can't tolerate and endure. If you have to yes to a poor man with a one room apartment,then let it be out of love and care for that man and not because you don't want to be called an Old maid at 30.
It's a pity the kind of rubbish women face on nairaland.

The only thing i can pick out of this thread is an OP that is entirely engrossed in himself and feels he knows it all. An Op that slams and disrespects people's opinions and choices has no business making these kinds of thread. So if a Lady says No, to these questions, she will die a spinster in your mind?
Whatever happended to choices,preferences and standards?
People and threads like this push young women into marital mistakes just because they are expected to get married at a certain age. Every dick,tom and harry now put up all sorts of useless and demeaning post in the guise of marital advice for guilible and low self esteem women. What's all this nonesense about?

Where did you get your list of best countries in Africa? Lmao!