₦airaland Forum

He needs to rest though, spend more time with the family and space his career before he becomes a face u get sick n tired of seeing.

michelin89:
Why didn't he die?

haba its not good to wish death on someone.

Men are stupid wen dey don't realize that they themselves determine the sex of their child, its so funny wen they blame women where they are indeed the problem.,

hackney:
Sounds fabricated but still a male child actually comes from the man:
The female has XX chromosome and contributes one.
The male has XY chromosomes and contributes one.
so if you 'MR MAN' , keeps bring X to the table your lineage don finish.

LMAO

its so funny wen they keep marryn too many wives just for a male child, wat is it about a male child that makes him more important than a female child. in this century, wat a man can do, a woman can do way better.

You Rock My World is my all time favorite.

lol thats ciara, maybe her dude likes the hair down there lol

i knew it would not last, usher is too hot to be with a grandmom, if he could cheat on chilli from tlc, he would never stick to one woman, and for his wife. Congratulations, she just got her payday, child support and spousal support lol

i don't think this stuff is a big deal, we all know and expect this from Eminem, so taking it too far is not the solution. ya Nick standing up for his wife is cool and all, but we all know this stuff is a joke, Eminem dissed everyone, its what he does and its why we love him.

this is my phone, samsung instinct. love it to death

kay_pumpin:
You blow a fuse easily and YET you do not nag? Seem almost impossible and i am sure one of your way of venting will be to either throw tantrums or become impregnable emotionally.

This seemingly little undoing of yours could be the SOLE reason he is going AWOL.

weird but ya i an not a nag, i don't go throwing temper tantrums. me having a short fuse is being controlled which is why i ignore things cuz trust me i would not still be married to him. and one thing his dad told me is to be patient with him, which i have been, and my mum said never nag on a man, its one thing i would never want to do, which is why i choose to ignore and a way of keeping me from blowing up.

kay_pumpin:
Why do i have this feeling that your marriage was rushed as i think this feeling of resignation,rejection and dejection is too EARLY into the marriage.

3 years ONLy and all these  

Maybe you both need to see a counselor together.It is not as if it helps more than whatever you both agree on as per your marriage BUT then,may be he's gat a STORY as well.

ya i agree he has his own side of the story, and no two person will have the same story, but one thing he will not deny is that i have been a good and supportive wife. one flaw is that i get pissed off easily over little things, but i am human.

amosexy:
Re: Why Naija Guys In The Diaspora Go Home To Marry
« #25 on: May 02, 2007, 06:18 PM »  

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i read what everyone said and most of you made sense, i agree with somebody. most girls in naija pretend, ya there are good ones but most of them are ashies, when you marry them and take them out of the country then you would see their true colors.

But you can't just say women who are abroad, don't make better wives, or that you can't find a good woman here, women are the same everywhere you go, i think its just because men want women that would be their slaves and not stand up to them, ultimately its all about control, they wouldn't want to be with a woman who would challenge their opinons when they feel it is wrong, girls abroad are more knowledgeable annd wouldn't want to be in a controlling relationship, because from experience, Naija men always want to excercise control over everything,(im 23 years old and my dad is still tryingto control my every move, even when im not in naija) as for me, if it ain't gonna be a 50:50 marriage, then why bother. Bible says 2 become one, not one controlling the other.

at the end im going to marry a naija man, who understands that a woman should matter too in a marriage, and her place is not always going to be in the kitchen, i didn't spend 6 years in college n getting a master's degree to become a full house wife eh. im lucky because my guy understands and respects that, i am a great cook, i clean and know how to take care of my man and family, and i am still a virgin, so don't tell me there are no good women abroad.




Those were ur words b4 u got married,guess most of the time wat we see in our men b4 we marry them are all illusions.A guy u thot respected n understood u has now turn to wat ?


I think u  should start prayin cos it is too early to complain.Dont think of hangin out with ur friends becos  the outcome might be very bad.Make God ur companion if ur hubby wont be.

i have tried prayers and is still trying, but i am not gonna and tired be (of being) a submissive wife who, a man thinks he can take for-granted

tope2000:
Gbam

@poster
I change my mind sef . . .go out n enjoy urself

i intend to from now on, if he wants space i will give him all the space he wants. cuz talking don't seem to work

*Hauwa*:
lady, you dey make marriage scare us o eh  

give him good food   something to always run home to  

heavy egusi soup with heavy poundo will keep him at home sleeping  

lol what haven't i done. he still eats at home so no worries about that.

davidylan:
Have you expressed this feeling to him before?

1 yr dating before marriage . . . i fear o.

ya i have expressed it to him, but i feel like he doesn't care. i am not scared of him or talking to him, but its just that u tend to ignore things to avoid conflict

stillwater:
How long would you keep on ignoring? That's why he takes you for granted.

i honestly don't know, but nagging is one thing i never want to do. maybe i need to give him his space, maybe he feels smothered. but i am tired of being the nice and supportive wife for a man who does not appreciate it. it pisses me off and sometime i feel like i would be better off single (but i know divorce is not an option), i have tried talking to him but it ain't working. lol maybe i need to get pregnant that way i have something else to concentrate on.

tope2000:
Im sorry but how long have u guys been married??

How long did u guys dated for b4 u marry each other??

Have u always kept quiet abt everything he does because u dont want to come across as nagging person?? If so big mistake.

Been married for like 2 yrs, dated for like a yr b4 getting married, and ya i have just ignored things he says or does bcoz i do not want to be a wife that nags, i feel like he doesn't really appreciate me (i mean u don't really know what u have until u lose it)

davidylan:
Perhaps she does this way too often the guy was begining to feel smothered. I'm not even a fan of married folks who bring their marital problems here . . . solve them at home! It isnt rocket science . . . if you cant read your partner's body language by now . . . na wa o.

To be honest i don't call him at all to find out where he is at cuz i have work 5-6 days outta the week (in the evening) and classes from 7am in the morning and from class i have to rush to work, so its not like i sit down nagging him, cuz nagging is the last thing i ever want to do. but the thing is i did not get married to be left alone at home.

thank you all for ur advice.

i never asked him where he was just to be a nag, but it was because i prepared dinner and everything and he called to tell me he was coming home, and 5 hrs later no show, so i decided to go to bed cuz i have classes the next morning, and he walked in, i let him put his things down and was asking if he ate outside, cuz it was late and i put the food back in the fridge so it doesn't get spoiled (since i did not know when he was coming home). funny it was the first time i asked him and he blew things outta proportion. i was alone at home and it sucked just being there alone.

i think maybe i need to have a life outside us. i try to keep busy with work and school, and he tells me we need family time, so when i am available he ups and leave with no info as to where is going. i have been supportive but would hate to be taken for-granted.

tope2000:
Was he joking when he said that??

I wish he was cuz, i was shocked when he said it and was like what the fu*k did u say

~Sauron~:
Go out with your girlfriends and have fun.
Leave him alone to do his thing.

That is what i have been thinking

okay here is my question.

Is it a bad thing to want to know where your husband is when he goes out and has not returned for like 5 hrs after he called you to say he was coming back home. i do not want to be a nagging wife, i trust him and don't think he is cheating (cuz he knows i will leave him in a heartbeat if i knew he was cheating).
According to my husband, "a man is not required to tell his wife where is", which i totally disagree with cuz if something bad happens to him, i would want to know. i feel like maybe i am up all in his business when i ask him where he was. what do u guys think.

should i just let him do his thing and do mine, and not care where he goes to or what he does. cuz most of the time i am stuck in the house alone while he is out, i work and go to school full-time and when i have a day off, i just wanna spend it with him but he is not home and i don't wanna be a nag.

so what should i do, go out myself and have my own fun and just ignore him, cuz wats the point of being married.

I say hire someone to beat him up and expose him to his wife. or she should find out when he worships (if he is a christian) go to his church, report him to his pastor and expose him in from of his church members, that should teach him a lesson

I paid for my bride's maid dresses and everything, even when one of them didn't show on the the day of the traditional wedding and was asking me for the headtie i bought for the traditional wedding, after it was over, it was annoying, but i still did not give it to her. after i paid for everything she didn't show and was requesting stuff like it was her right to have it. some of them can get greedy when they know u are paying for everything.

lol not all, my hubby likes to sleep naked

oh hell no, i remember my dad asking me that question. he said tell ur husband to come work for me and the next thing that came outta my mouth was Hell no. lol my dad was shocked. thats another way parents can use to control ur marriage becoz they know how much ur husband makes.

bridget007:
@tpia, he doesn't think he has a problem, he says he could find a woman who wouldn't mind him smoking pot, would probably do it to, i say find a woman like that and you'll deserve everything he gets.

@ sistawoman, the signs were not fully there in the start, he was wonderful, a pretender.

@ everybody else thank you for your advice. I know i need to forget him and move on. I am in the UK and I can't divorce without his agreement for 5 years-2 with agreement. I know he will never change because he thinks he does no wrong. I am much happier without him, more confident and the house is brighter and has a wonderful atmosphere. I do miss him, but what part I'm not sure, not even the sex as he turned it into punishment or reward. he would only sleep with me if he felty i deserved it and even then it as all about his satisfaction. I have spoken to my friends and they say he is a control freak and cannot believe how much I have tolerated. I even paid for AN ALL INCLUSIVE HOLIDAY TO CARRIBEAN FOR US and he spent 3 days sulking trying find someone to buy pot off, then dissapeared and left me and our son four hours locked out of our room to go with the stranger for pot. The rest of the holiday he moaned about wanting time alone. I realise there is only person in hs life HIM and there is no room for us. The time has come to move on, I'll pray for him as I will always love him, but its time to love me and my kids. Thanks.

i bet he will be forced to accept divorce, if the court find out he does pot and he physically abuses you.

mamae:
My sister just be patient and keep on praying for your man. I know that one day, he will change, you don't need to useless yourself with other men, just keep on taking care of your kids. ALL IS WELL. OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wtf, except for the praying part i disagree with everything else, why would u be patient with a man who hits you, abuse u emotionally and physically, cheats and kills his kids by making other women he cheats with commit abortion, smokes pot, does not take care of his family and isn't even a man. i say this man is not worth your time, hun if u r in the u.s or outside naija i say file for custody of ur kid now and let the court make him pay child support, if he refuses then they will garnish his wages. geez such a man should be in jail for hitting u on the head, he could have caused serious damage to ur brain or something.

i say leave him now

@phillfree where in nashville r u

hell no, i'm not the cheatn kind,