₦airaland Forum

i'll tell ur mummy for u

why do u give a damn?

na becos of you dem born anoda person?

I know say na November 31st dem born u

this joke is not for ajegunle boys like you wey dey laugh becos of poverty

Na for the elite who laugh with money

segun,

go wash ur face, sleep still dey ur eye

N5 lolipop willl be ok

my wife is back and she is looking as sexy as ever

Very soon,

Hands go deal with you

tufe dey in charge of blondes na

_{heard rumours that he is also a blonde}

consume

ole

o yeah

Or try this scenario


Durin a meeting in the office, my boss just expantiated on some point and tried to relax on his chair with his hands behind his neck and GUESS WHAT?

His armpit was showing (hole dey im shirt). Every one was laughing and the man thought he had made a very important speech

when did u start smoking?

After making sure that the victim is out or sound asleep (if the victim is in make sure he can't get out),

put a line of baby powder along the bottom crack of the door (or on a piece of paper and slide it under the door -- hold onto one end).

Then use the blow-dryer to spray the powder into a fine mist that will cover everything in the room.

sharaaaaapppppphino

hw did u spendiho easterinho?

Na bad luck wey i get oh

The blonde came to my house, spentthe whole easter with me and when she was leaving, she said "I had a nice time with you, Tufe"

consume

One of my favorites is to put a couple of ping pong balls in someones gas tank.

The car will start just fine and will run for a couple of blocks.

Then the balls will get sucked into the gas feed and cause the car to die.

The balls will now float back to the top of the tank and he will be able to restart the car.

This will be very frustrating to the car owner, especially if he works on his own car.

First he will replace the fuel filter then maybe the fuel pump. From there on out he will be pulling his hair out to figure out what to do next.

Ask somebody what time it is when he/she is holding a glass of fluid in the hand attached to the wrist where he/she wears a watch.

You'll be surprised how many people pour fluid onto themselves trying to be helpful to you

This reminds me of something a friend of mine did to get even with a landlord that evicted him.

There was a hole in one of his walls so he put a couple of dead fish in in the hole.

He then plastered over the hole and repainted the wall.

Can you imagine the smell after a month of summer heat?

Nobody could tell where the odor would be coming from until the bottom of the wall would start to rot.

He did some other things to the house but this was by far the most subtle and undetectable until some time later.

Another, if you can get access to the victim's key chain is to switch all his keys for keys that look exactly the same, but don't fit the locks he's trying to open.

If you can be around for this one, it's much more fun to watch the person go crazy as he cannot open anything he owns

My favourite practical joke involves on of those long line-ups for tickets to a concert or something.

First you go to the front of the line and then walk the entire length, looking over everyone as if you were trying to find a friend.

When you get to the back you walk back to the front doing the same thing, but this time even slower.

Then when you reach the front you turn and quickly run to the back again, machine-gunning everybody as you go.

Then you go up to the ticket office and say "Get it?"

This is a classic joke and as you can see it is also quite practical, since it gets you to the front of the line very fast.

Next time when you are having dinner, keep an empty jug of water on the table.

When somebody asks you to pass the jug, pretend while picking it up that it is full of water and heavy.

Keep the jug on the table near the victim. The victim will apply what he/she considers is appropriate strength needed to pickup the jug.

This will cause the jug to jerk up to a significant height. The sight is very funny and so is the victim's face.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe(exhaust pipe).

Another blonde, another store. She goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?" enquired the clerk.
"No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."

Q:A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.

Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veternarian?
A: Because she loved children.

Q: If an blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who would die first?
A: The brunette -- because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.

Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?:
"Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A1: They can't remember the number.
A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons

Q: What do a blonde and President Gorbachev have in common?
A: They both got bleeped by 10 men whilst on holiday.

Q:What's the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev?
A: He knows who the ten men were.


Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.

Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.

Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A: From dating blonde men.

After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food to replenish his just spent energy.

He pours himself a glass of milk and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty hot, so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off.

Just then the blonde walks in and says, "Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those."

After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food to replenish his just spent energy.

He pours himself a glass of milk and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty hot, so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off.

Just then the blonde walks in and says, "Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those."

Teacher: Mavis, can you tell me which month is the shortest?

Mavis: It's May, miss.

Teacher: No, it isn't. The shortest month is February.

Mavis: But, miss, February has eight letters in it while May only has three!